At The Heart’s Command: Chapter Six
It wasn’t that Grif avoided Ellyn for the rest of the evening. Marti had a lot of people she wanted him to say hello to. At least she wanted him as a prop for some auntly bragging.
But he hadn’t minded. He’d caught Ellyn watching him a couple of times, with a faintly puzzled, faintly worried expression in her brown eyes. He suspected that if he got pulled into her orbit, she’d be asking him questions of some sort. And he wasn’t in the mood to have to fend them off.
Especially not, he told himself, with this agreement to help Ben without clearing it with Ellyn first weighing on his conscience. He hoped the boy told his mother soon.
Still, when the bounty on the kitchen table was depleted sufficiently to allow removal of the leaves so it could be shrunk to normal size, then pushed to one side to leave a small dance floor, and the CD player started spinning country-western dance music, he made his way immediately to Ellyn. She couldn’t ask much while they were doing the two-step in such cozy quarters.
“Want to dance?”
“Dance?” she repeated.
He held his arms up in the usual pose. “You know, dance.”
An expression he couldn’t define crossed her face as her gaze went from the tips of his fingers on one side, traveled across his chest then ran out to the tips of his fingers on the other hand. The sensation that followed the path of that look was all too easily defined. He dropped his arms.
“I, uh…thanks, but no. It’s time I get the kids home and in bed. It’s been a full day for them.”
“You can put them down in one of the rooms upstairs,” Fran suggested from over her shoulder. “Marti’s got two rooms set up – one for the littler kids who need cribs and such, and one for older kids like Ben and Meg.”
Ellyn frowned at her stepmother-in-law. “They wouldn’t sleep. We should go home now.”
After staying away from her most of the evening, he suddenly didn’t want her to leave without some tie, some promise. “How about dinner tomorrow night? I’ll take you and the kids – ”
“No. No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s a school night, and Fran usually comes over – ”
“Fran, too,” he said with a quick smile to the older woman.
“Sounds good to me,” she said.
But Ellyn was shaking her head. “No, I’m sorry, but... With church and chores and homework to make sure they get done... And we like to make Sunday night family night. Just family.” She looked up, and her expression softened immediately. Her words were gentle, too. “But thank you, Grif. It’s very nice of you, but, truly, you don’t need to keep feeding us.”
He watched as Ellyn gathered her protesting children and the empty dishes from her contributions, said farewells and thank-yous, gave him a brief smile, then headed out the door.
Not long after, he’d pleaded weariness, and headed out himself.
It had been a full day for him, too. After the morning drive with Meg, the afternoon amid the hubbub of the history festival and the evening party, he could use some time alone. He’d never minded solitude. Maybe because he’d gotten used to it early, and never broke the habit. Even during summers spent here as a kid he’d gone off on his own a lot.
But it occurred to him as the car dipped to cross a dried creek bed, that he wasn’t looking forward to being alone back in his room.
Ridge House was completely dark except for the safety light that spotlighted the driveway, showing Ellyn’s car pulled near the back door.
He took the corner from the ranch road into the driveway and sped up. As he neared Ellyn’s car, he saw Meg and Ben standing on the back step, but no sign of Ellyn.
“Where’s your mother?” he demanded as he jogged toward them.
“She just went inside – ”
“The lights are out,” announced Ben.
“I see that. Why’d she go inside, Meg?” If Ellyn had heard a noise and gone inside anyway, he’d throttle her himself – as long as she was okay.
“There’s a circus-something that gets broken. In the basement.”
“Circuit breaker?” Poor Ellyn, she’d hated everything electrical as long as he’d known her. “You kids stay here until I can get the lights back on.”
“That’s what Mom said, too.” Ben sighed. “How come we always have to wait?”
Grif gave him a quick grin. “ ’Cause you’re the kids.”
Inside, he groped along the wall for the basement door. It was open. He found the first step with his foot, then reached out to the reasonable spot for the railing to be. It was about six inches lower.
“I told you kids to stay out – ”
“It’s me, Ellyn.”
“Oh.” The syllable had an odd note to it.
“Grif,” he added, just in case.
“I know. It’s awfully dark down here. You better stay upstairs.”
“I’m already down.” He covered the last few steps. “Damn!”
“What? Did you run into something? You better hold still. This ceiling is awfully low, too.”
Basements weren’t standard equipment in ranch houses, but the builders of Ridge House back when root cellars had been particularly handy, had taken advantage of its site on the side of a hill to carve out a partial basement.
“I’m fine. I didn’t run into anything. I was just thinking I should have gotten my flashlight out of the glove compartment. It would have made this easier. Do you have any idea where the electrical box is?”
“Yes, but – ”
“Keep talking, so I can follow your voice. Then you can direct me to the box.”
“You don’t need to do that, I – ”
“That’s good. Just like that.”
First he heard a sigh, then, “So, why didn’t you get the flashlight?” as he continued making his way across the floor.
Amused and faintly teasing, something about her tone stung him. Maybe because the spurt of fear for her and the kids had made him act instead of think. A stupid mistake. In some circumstances, a dangerous mistake. It was fool’s luck that this wasn’t one of those circumstances.
“Probably for the same reason you don’t have a flashlight available for moments like this.”
“Oh?” The light, cool note of this monosyllable gave him a slight warning. “What a coincidence. You mean, you, too, just discovered that someone had used up the batteries in both your main flashlight and the backup by holding them under his chin to make scary faces in the dark during his sister’s sleepover party.”
“All right, all right.” He was grinning, unable to resist her amusement.
He could smell her now. Not perfume, because she didn’t wear any. But the citrus clean of her hair, the soft sweetness of the moisturizer he’d seen her use on her hands and something more...something that came from the warmth of her.
His extended hand brushed against the fabric of her sweater. He found the curve of her arm, slid his hand around it. The faintest whisper of an indrawn breath reached his ears.
“Ellyn – ”
He didn’t know what he might have said, but she forestalled him. “So, you found me.”
The cheer of her words didn’t sound quite real to his ears. But then he’d been listening to something else – his own accelerated heartbeat.
“Yes, I found you.” And he wouldn’t let her go again. No matter how frequently he had to remind himself that he would be – could be – only a friend, never more. “Now, where’s the electrical box, so I can find the breaker and get – ”
“Right here.”
“ –the lights back on for you – ”
He heard the breaker being toggled over, then he was bedazzled.
He could try to explain it away by the lights coming on so unexpectedly.
But what bedazzled him was to have his sight restored to the vision of Ellyn standing just in front of him. Too late to close his eyes against the fact that her arm was already under his hand, so a gentle tug would draw he
r into his arms. Her face lifted toward his, a smile curving her lips, so an instant’s relaxing of his guard would bring his mouth down on hers.
He didn’t know how long they stood like that. Long enough for his body to respond. Long enough for him to sense a ripple of something pass through her. Long enough for unrecognizable sounds from some distant place to resolve into the call of “Mom. Mom!” from Ben and Meg at the top of the stairs.
He stepped back, the motion jerky, then consciously ordered his hand to release her.
Her smile wavered, then shifted, not looking entirely natural. Her other hand drifted up and covered the spot where his hand had been. He didn’t think he’d gripped her too hard, and she didn’t rub it, simply cupped her hand there, with her arm drawn across her body.
“We’ll be right up!”
“Can we go in now?” Meg asked with exaggerated patience. “It’s cold out here.”
“Yes.”
She looked toward the stairs, then to him, still blocking her path out of the corner of the basement.
He retreated another two steps, leaving her plenty of clearance. Not watching her, but aware when she darted a glance at his face as she passed.
She was several steps above him before he started up the stairs, but that didn’t help any. To keep his mind off the view above him, he said, “You knew where the electrical box was all along.”
“Yes. We have trouble with the power going off a lot.”
“You didn’t need me charging in to the rescue at all.”
“I did try to tell you,” she said shortly, turning on him as he reached the hallway. The kids were nowhere in sight, apparently already in their bedrooms. “But you didn’t listen. You assumed that I couldn’t handle it and – ”
“Whoa, Ellyn! I wasn’t accusing you. I was the one who was wrong. I...well, you used to be afraid of – uh, you didn’t used to like anything electrical.”
She studied his face a moment, then seemed to release a tension in her shoulders along with a short sigh.
“I still don’t particularly like it. But as I said, the power goes off often enough that my choices were dealing with it or sitting in the dark a lot. Besides, when Marti had the house updated after Dale…left, they put the circuit breaker box in and Luke explained it all to me. There used to be fuses, and I didn’t like those, but circuit breakers are okay. Besides, it’s not so bad when you know how it works.”
“No, it’s not so bad.”
“Can I offer you some coffee?”
“No, thanks, I better get going.”
“Okay. Good night then. Grif, I...” The light touch of her hand on his arm stopped him halfway out the screen door. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, Grif. I don’t think it was even you I... Anyway, thank you for coming to our rescue.”
He smiled slightly, shaking her head. “I tried, but you rescued yourself, Ellyn.”
Her eyes widened – hadn’t that occurred to her before?
“I suppose I did,” she said slowly. Then she smiled, that warm smile that had caught him the first time he’d seen her. “I still say thank you. You’re a good friend.”
“You’re welcome. Good night, Ellyn.”
Good friend.
The echo of her words accompanied him on the drive to Fort Piney. Had he been as good a friend to her as he could have been? Had he ever tried to help her defeat the fear, or had he simply taken over?
* * *
Ellyn put the freshly rinsed plate in Fran’s waiting hands and met her eyes.
“Okay, say it. I can’t take this silence anymore.”
Fran didn’t miss a beat. “Why aren’t you happy to see Grif?”
Ellyn dropped her gaze to the next plate in the soapy water in front of her. “I am happy to see him.”
“You aren’t as welcoming as I would’ve expected from what all I’ve heard about Grif being part of your lives back East. You practically had to be hog-tied to agree to dinner last week. And all those excuses to not be taken out to dinner tonight!” Fran propped a hip against the counter as she wiped the plate.
“They weren’t excuses. It is a school night. And we do like to make this family night.”
But she’d have bitten her tongue before saying those words if she’d known they would bring that flash of bleakness to Grif’s usually impenetrable eyes. She’d never have guessed that phrase could make him feel like an outsider. During the years in Washington, if they’d been used at all – unlikely with Dale preferring bigger gatherings than family-only – Grif would have been included.
“Besides, it seemed like an imposition on his generosity,” she added. Fran’s answer was a disbelieving snort, goading Ellyn into adding, “And I don’t want to be treated like a charity case.”
“Is that why you wouldn’t dance with him? You thought he asked out of charity?”
That struck uncomfortably close to home. Something about the way Grif had held his arms out to her as he’d invited her to dance had flashed into an image of her throwing herself into his arms fifteen years ago.
Fran shook her head as she set the dried plate atop a pile of its fellows in the cabinet and reached for the next one.
“You don’t have any obligation to tell me, but please don’t be telling me nonsense. Just tell me to mind my own business.”
For a moment, Ellyn longed to do that. But Fran had been so good to her and the kids. Besides, it would make much too big a deal out of this situation with Grif. And it was not a big deal.
“I don’t want to see the children hurt again. He’s not going to stay long. So there’s no sense getting real close again.”
“If you’re going to try to protect those two by never letting them get close to people who’re going to leave, they’re going to have a mighty small circle of friends. Might as well make the most of the time he’s here,” Fran countered. “Unless...”
Ellyn resisted the tug of that dangling word as long as she could. “Unless what?”
“Unless there’s something more here than you’re telling me. No – ” she held up her hand, stilling Ellyn’s protest that got no farther than an indrawn breath. “I don’t mean anything like that. I know you better than to think such a thing – him, too. But you seem to be punishing him. I could understand if you were mad at Dale for being so irresponsible – about money and life. I know I am.”
“Dale was just himself. There was no point in expecting him to be anything other than the man he was.”
“And Grif? You thought Grif was different from what he now seems to be?”
Ellyn shifted, but Fran’s steady gaze didn’t. There’d be no getting around answering the question unless Ellyn said outright that she didn’t want to talk about Grif. And that would raise all sorts of speculation.
“I suppose I did. He’d always been there for us, and then he was suddenly gone and, boy, was his timing bad,” she said with a shaky laugh. “Grif had always been so steady, so sane, so reassuring, so –Then he disappeared. Poouff! Gone. The very last man you’d ever expect that of. I don’t know what to expect from him anymore.”
Except that he seemed determined to give her help she didn’t want. But she knew better than to raise that argument, since Fran had more than once tried to persuade her to accept money from the older woman’s retirement nest egg.
“You deserve some fun, Ellyn. Letting a longtime friend take you and your kids to dinner now and then isn’t exactly the high life, but it’s a small step in the right direction. Give yourself a break, and stop punishing Grif – and eat dessert!”
“Are we having dessert?” Ben asked from the hallway.
Ellyn couldn’t help but laugh, as she told her son that if he’d finished his homework, he could have angel food cake and peach preserves for dessert. She carefully made no promises to Fran about any future desserts.
* * *
No military genius was required to figure out that if a direct assault didn’t work, a flanking attack might be called for.
Having ch
ecked Ellyn’s work schedule with Larry Orrin, and the rest of her schedule with Fran, Grif had ascertained that Ellyn had no obligations outside her home for Monday afternoon. He was certain she’d say she had plenty of obligations inside it, but that couldn’t be helped.
A final phone call, and his plan was set.
When she opened the door after checking through the window who had knocked, she had a tuck between her brows that reminded him of Meg. “I didn’t hear your car, Grif.”
“No car.” He gestured to two horses tied to the porch railing. After approving of Luke’s choices, he’d ridden one over from the main ranch while leading the other. “We’re going riding.”
“Riding?”
“Yes. You and me. On horses. Across Far Hills land, like we used to.”
“I can’t – ”
“Yes, you can. I’ve seen you ride. You’re good.”
“That was years ago. But that wasn’t what I meant, I – ”
“You can wear what you have on, but you’ll need other shoes, better yet some boots. And bring a jacket.”
“Grif, I have things to do this – ”
“I know,” he said grimly. “You always have things to do. But Luke tells me you haven’t been riding since you’ve been back, and you’re a damned sight too pale, so we are going riding. And we’re doing it now.”
She gaped at him for maybe half a minute, then her expression started to harden toward a new determination, and he played his last card.
“Please. You’d be helping me. I want to ride, and I don’t want to do it alone.”
She exhaled, long and slow, and she relaxed. “Grif... Oh, for heaven’s sake.”
She pivoted and walked away, leaving the door open. He stayed right where he was. He thought that meant she’d come, but just in case it didn’t, at least she’d eventually have to close the door.
She returned in four minutes, according to the wall clock he could see through the open door, with a jacket under her arm and old, battered ropers on her feet.
She hesitated a moment after he handed her the reins of Cherry, the chestnut mare Luke had suggested for her, but before Grif could consider whether or how to help her up, she’d used the second step as a mounting block and was in the saddle. He swung up onto the back of the brown gelding Fred, and they headed out.
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