‘He didn’t—’ Leonie swallowed hard. ‘All right, maybe he did,’ she conceded harshly. ‘But I would never let him hurt Holly.’
‘And what about you?’ He was breathing deeply in his anger. ‘What sort of price are you willing to pay to keep him away from Holly?’
Her face paled. ‘What do you mean?’ she gasped.
‘Did you go to bed with him?’ he grated.
Relief flooded through her that he didn’t realise just how much she had ‘paid’ the last year. ‘You know I’m not able—’
‘There are ways, Leonie,’ he reminded her hardly.
Her cheeks burnt. ‘Not with Michael there aren’t,’ she denied with distaste. Making love with Michael had all too quickly become something she merely suffered during her marriage to him. He had soon felt the same way when she wasn’t able to respond to him.
Hawk’s breath left him in a ragged sigh. Evidence of how much the thought of her and Michael together disturbed him. ‘I suppose I should be grateful for that, at least,’ he bit out. ‘What did he want here, Leonie? And why didn’t you tell me he was in Claymont?’
‘Maybe because I knew you would react like this,’ she attacked. ‘Michael is a part of my past, and—’
‘By coming here like he did he’s also part of our future,’ Hawk said harshly.
She shook her head. ‘He’s gone now.’
‘Why?’
She looked up defensively. ‘Why not?’
Grey eyes narrowed to icy slits. ‘Did he get what he came here for?’
‘He’s gone, isn’t that enough?’ she evaded aggressively.
Hawk slowly shook his head, watching her thoughtfully. ‘It depends what you gave him to leave,’ he said softly.
Her eyes flashed as dark as emeralds. ‘I gave him what I always give him; money!’ She faced him challengingly, breathing deeply in her agitation.
Hawk was suddenly still. ‘Why would you give your ex-husband money?’
‘Hawk—’
‘Unless you still care for him?’ he accused harshly. ‘Is that it, Leonie—are you one of those women who like it when a man’s rough with them?’
Her arm arced up with all the force she had, her hand making hard contact with his lean cheek, her fingers tingling from the contact, although Hawk remained unmoving as the livid welts appeared on his skin. Leonie stared at him in horror for what she had done.
‘Well?’ he challenged in a voice that sounded as if he had cut glass in his throat.
Her eyes widened with renewed fury. ‘Oh yes, Hawk,’ she bit out caustically, ‘I loved it every time something didn’t go Michael’s way and he would hit out at me.’ She ignored the way his eyes narrowed coldly. ‘I enjoyed walking around with bruises that prevented me going out of the house for days at a time. But most of all I was in ecstasy when he would take my body simply because it was his right to do so. But the best night of all was the night Danny was born, when he—’
‘That’s enough, Leonie,’ Hawk choked.
‘Oh no.’ She shook her head. ‘You wanted to know how much I liked Michael’s rough treatment of me! The night Danny was born I wasn’t feeling well, I’d been in bed most of the day because I felt so ill. But when Michael came to bed he was in the mood to make love, and the fact that I didn’t feel well was “my own fault. After all, I was the one who’d wanted the brat!”,’ she recited bitterly. ‘When I refused his lovemaking he—he—’
‘Leonie, don’t,’ Hawk muttered in a pained voice, moving to take her in his arms.
She evaded his grasp. ‘When I refused he raped me,’ she finished defiantly. ‘After that all I knew was blinding pain. Until they told me that Danny was too small, that they doubted they’d be able to save him.’ She looked at him coldly. ‘Oh yes, Hawk, I run to Michael’s arms every chance I get for more of the same treatment!’ she told him contemptuously.
He closed his eyes in self-disgust. ‘I’m sorry,’ he choked. ‘So sorry.’ He looked at her pleadingly. ‘I just—The thought of your meeting that bastard behind my back sends chills down my spine!’
‘What do you think it does to mine?’ Leonie snapped unsympathetically.
He drew her hands into his. ‘Tell me why you give him money,’ he prompted huskily.
She gave a ragged sigh, knowing the time for prevarication was over. And maybe once Hawk knew the truth he could help her. She suddenly needed very badly to lean on someone, and Hawk had such broad shoulders, gave her a sense of security. She was so tired of going on alone.
‘I give Michael money because,’ she drew in a ragged breath, ‘because I was still married to him the night Holly was conceived and he threatened to claim paternity of my unborn child!’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘WHAT?’
That bastard, that weak son-of-a-bitch who beat up women because he wasn’t man enough to go against someone of his own strength, had dared to threaten claiming paternity of his child? He would see the other man in hell first!
Hawk watched as Leonie sank weakly into an armchair, all the worry and pain she had gone through alone during the last months reflected in her shadowed eyes.
He had helped do this to her, as surely as if he had been Michael Spencer’s accomplice. Without his child growing inside her Leonie wouldn’t have been vulnerable to the other man.
He went down on his haunches beside her chair, taking her hand in his, amazed at how cold it was when the weather was so warm. ‘I’m here now, Leonie,’ he told her gruffly. ‘I’m not going to let him near either you or Holly again,’ he promised grimly, knowing it was a promise he would keep at all costs; Michael Spencer was going to receive another visitor today, and he wasn’t going to find this one at all cowed by his bullying tactics!
Leonie sat back in the chair, her eyes closed. ‘He’d been to see me several months before, asking me for money because he was out of work again.’ She shook her head. ‘I refused to help him. Then—then you and I—met.’ She gave a pained frown. ‘And the next time Michael pressed me for money I was very obviously pregnant—with someone else’s child.’
Hawk sat at her feet, gently caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. ‘I believed the two of you were already divorced, you know,’ he told her gruffly, knowing it was no excuse for the way he had decided he wanted her and brooked no refusal to his desire.
She gave a bitter smile. ‘We were about to be. We were actually at a meeting between our lawyers discussing the final terms when I fainted, and the doctor they called to examine me diagnosed my pregnancy. Michael was livid at first, furious that I could have found someone else to care about enough to have their child.’ Her eyes were a dull green. ‘Then he saw a way he might be able to make the knowledge pay off for him. I refused to drop the divorce proceedings and return to him as his wife, so he asked for money to keep quiet about not being the baby’s father instead.’ She shook her head. ‘He threatened a court case for the custody of my child if I didn’t give him what he wanted.’
Now wasn’t the time to berate her, to tell her what a fool she had been to give in to any of Spencer’s demands; Leonie knew exactly what a mistake she had made.
‘You could have come to me,’ Hawk prompted softly.
She gave a ragged sigh. ‘I knew you’d find out about Holly some time, but I had hoped it would be after Laura and Hal were married. Maybe then we would all have been able to weather the scandal Michael was—is still—threatening,’ she added with a shiver of apprehension.
‘I’ll take care of him,’ Hawk told her grimly.
‘You don’t understand,’ she said shakily. ‘Michael knows who you are now, and—’
‘If he doesn’t he very soon will,’ rasped Hawk. ‘Don’t worry about him any more, Leonie,’ he advised huskily. ‘Spencer is my concern from now on.’
He wished she could have looked more reassured by the statement, but she still looked worried. Hell, of course she was worried, she’d had that bastard messing up her life for so long it was goi
ng to take time for her to realise it was over.
And it was over for her. She was his now, the woman he loved above everything and everyone else, and he would protect her with his last breath.
If Sarah hadn’t made the mistake about Leonie’s divorce already being a fact he would never have pushed for that night with her, he never went near married ladies, but he couldn’t exactly blame Sarah for the mistake she had made. He had demanded results immediately, and considering the divorce was on its way through the usual channels, and that Sarah had had no idea that his interest in Leonie was purely personal and not just in the sister of the woman he had believed was out to trap Hal, she had done the best that she could in the time he had given her.
Looking at Leonie, a woman who was so tiny he felt as if he could put her in his pocket and carry her about with him always, he wasn’t so sure that even knowing she and her husband were happily married could have kept him away from her that night!
‘He told me to ask you for money,’ Leonie told him dully.
His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. ‘And what did you say?’
She shrugged. ‘That I’d see what I could do.’
‘You were going to tell me about him?’
Her eyes flared brightly. ‘Of course I was going to tell you about him!’ she snapped. ‘I told you I was.’
‘Yes,’ he acknowledged softly, thinking fast. ‘Is he still at the hotel at Claymont?’
She shook her head. ‘I would doubt it. Once he has what he’s come for he doesn’t usually hang around,’ she said harshly.
‘You gave him money this morning?’ he prompted.
‘Yes,’ she confirmed defensively. ‘Enough to keep him happy for a while.’
‘Does Laura know he blackmails you?’ His eyes were narrowed.
Her head went back. ‘I never told Laura everything that Michael did. If I had Laura would have felt she had to defend me, and I couldn’t put her through that.’
Laura’s reluctance to argue once again? ‘Why not?’ he encouraged gently.
A shutter came down over her emotions. ‘My marriage was my mistake, mine to deal with.’
Hal was right, Laura didn’t like to argue with people. Oh, she had defended Leonie rather heatedly a couple of times to him, but she and Leonie had a closeness that surpassed all boundaries, even those of a lover or a husband.
Maybe he was seeing something that wasn’t really there. Twins were always supposed to be that much closer than other siblings, and Leonie and Laura had also lost their parents at an early age too, a situation that was sure to draw them even closer together.
And yet that didn’t explain Laura’s reluctance to argue.
Maybe once he and Leonie were married she would start to open up to him. As he intended sharing his every waking thought with her she was going to find it hard not to reciprocate.
‘Our marriage isn’t going to be a mistake,’ he told her lightly. ‘It’s also going to take place as soon as I can get the special licence,’ he added firmly, watching her warily.
‘It’s only two more days until Laura and Hal are married,’ she instantly protested, as he had known she would. ‘Besides, I can’t be a proper wife to you yet.’ Her cheeks were fiery red.
‘I want you, not sex,’ Hawk dismissed scathingly. ‘I know I enjoy making love to you, but it isn’t all I want from you!’
‘No, there’s Holly too,’ she accepted quietly.
Was she ready to know he loved her? Whether she was ready or not, he couldn’t keep the emotion to himself any longer.
‘I’m not marrying you because of Holly either,’ he bit out firmly, giving a wry smile as her eyes widened disbelievingly. ‘I asked you yesterday if you were ready to hear about Leonie, and you obviously weren’t.’ He grimaced at the panic he had caused her yesterday. ‘But today I’m going to tell you anyway,’ he added firmly.
She still didn’t want to hear it, he could see that by the way she wouldn’t meet his gaze. But dammit, he needed to tell her, and she couldn’t go on hiding from emotion for the rest of her life!
‘I’m forty years old.’ He gave an acknowledging inclination of his head as a glimmer of mischief lightened her eyes. ‘And contrary to what some people might think,’ he added dryly, ‘that does not make me half senile!’ He relaxed slightly as she smiled. ‘What it does make me,’ he continued seriously, ‘is mature enough to recognise a second chance when I’m given one. Leonie, my first wife died, and with her all the boyish dreams I had of a happy-ever-after. That’s why, when love entered my life a second time, I knew to hang on to it for all I’m worth. I love you, Leonie, with a love that’s all the deeper because I know what it is to have loved and lost.’
* * *
He meant it. She could see that he meant every word. But Michael had meant it too once, and his love hadn’t lasted. Not that she thought Hawk was anything like Michael; she knew he wasn’t. But although Hawk believed he loved her today he might not feel the same way tomorrow. She daren’t risk her fragile dreams on such uncertainty.
She shook her head, extricating her hand from his. ‘I don’t love you—I’m sorry.’
She had hurt him, she could see the pain in the darkness of his eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt anyone, especially this man who was usually so strong and invincible, but how much more would both of them be hurt later on if they found their love was only because of Holly after all?
Hawk drew in a ragged breath, giving a curt nod of his head. ‘Maybe that was too much to hope for,’ he accepted dryly. ‘But you are marrying me, and as soon as it can be arranged.’
‘But—’
‘And I want that bastard’s ring off your finger now,’ he added harshly.
Leonie looked down at the thin gold wedding band she wore on her left hand. It had been the hardest thing she had ever done in her life to divorce Michael; she had always believed until then that marriage was for a lifetime, the way her parents’ marriage had been. Even after the divorce she just hadn’t been able to remove her wedding ring.
She drew it slowly off her finger now, wordlessly handing it to Hawk, her eyes widening as he moved to open the window, reaching back to launch the ring as far away as he could throw it.
There was a look of immense satisfaction on his face as he turned back to her. ‘Tomorrow we’ll go shopping for our rings, and that one you’ll never take off,’ he promised gruffly.
Our rings? That must mean Hawk intended wearing a wedding ring too. Somehow she had never envisaged him as a man who would like to wear such a positive sign of belonging to a woman.
‘We’ll be married the day after Hal and Laura,’ he continued briskly.
‘We can’t—’
‘We’re going to, Leonie,’ he told her firmly. ‘I want you as my wife and Holly officially as my daughter so that I have the right to show Spencer just how little his threats mean to us.’
She grimaced. ‘He thinks I’m your mistress.’
‘I should be so lucky!’ Hawk gave a rueful grimace.
Leonie couldn’t help but return his smile. ‘I don’t think I would make a very good mistress,’ she mocked. ‘Michael didn’t call me the Ice Maiden for nothing,’ she added hollowly.
Hawk scowled. ‘Spencer didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Besides, when a man takes a virgin bride—as I’m sure you were,’ he said softly, ‘she can only be guided by what her husband teaches her. How the hell could he expect you to be anything but unresponsive when he didn’t give a damn about your pleasure?’
‘Did you find me a—disappointment?’ It was important that the single night they had known together should mean as much to him as it had to her at the time. It was only later that the guilt had come, and when it came it was with a vengeance; she hadn’t been able to explain her responses to this man to herself.
He gave a gentle smile. ‘Honey, disappointments don’t haunt my dreams and fill my every waking moment,’ he said dryly. ‘I haven’t been attracted to any w
oman since I met you. In fact, my life has become divided into two distinct times, before Leonie and after Leonie.’
Her life was the same, although in her case it was also before and after Holly. She had agreed to marry this man, why shouldn’t it be sooner rather than later?
‘All right, Hawk, I’ll marry you in three days’ time,’ she decided. ‘But Laura and Hal aren’t going to be too happy about missing the wedding.’
His mouth twisted. ‘I don’t think they would particularly care, as long as we are married. And they don’t have to miss the wedding at all if they don’t mind delaying their honeymoon twenty-four hours.’
‘Would you want to delay the first twenty-four hours of your honeymoon?’ She smiled, remembering Laura and Hal’s complete absorption with each other since he had arrived from Acapulco.
‘Leonie, I’m delaying the start of my honeymoon for a couple of weeks,’ he said softly. ‘And I don’t mind in the least!’
God, she was lovely when she blushed! Hawk mused. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms right now and carry her off to bed for a week. His restraint was out of necessity, not choice.
‘The honeymoon can wait but the wedding arrangements can’t,’ he reminded her briskly. ‘I have a licence and the rest of the arrangements to see to, and I’m sure you’ll want to drag Laura off to the shops as you “don’t have a thing you could wear”,’ he teased.
Her smile was something he would never grow tired of seeing, and he wasn’t unaware of the fact that that smile was returning more and more easily each day. He was personally going to make sure that continued, starting with a little visit to Spencer!
‘I think our little bridesmaid should have something extra pretty to wear too, don’t you?’ She wrinkled her freckle-covered nose prettily.
Holly. At a time when he considered that all he had left in life was his business and eventually being grandfather to Hal’s kids, this beautiful woman had given him a whole new start in life. Plenty of time later to tell her there wouldn’t be any more children, that he wasn’t going to risk losing her. He was hoping that by the time he had to tell her that the two of them would be so close they wouldn’t need anyone else but each other and the child they already had.
Just One Night (Presents Plus) Page 17