by R B Hilliard
“So much I missed, Ellie. Just hearing about you being at a party where some dickhead named Lance could take advantage of you? It makes me sick to my stomach.”
My man has been doing some thinking.
I tugged his hair. “Hey, don’t do that yourself.”
“I wasn’t here to protect you. All I can think about is how that never would have happened if I had been here.”
“I wish you had been here. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you or wish that you were with me, but you weren’t.” I squeezed his arm and forced him to look at me. “I am so glad you told me why you left. I think we now have to talk about what happened in the past five years while you were gone. Don’t you? That is, what you don’t already know. I’m not good with surprises and, judging by your reaction to Piper’s story yesterday, neither are you.”
He leaned down and touched his lips to mine. “We’ll talk, but first I have to go check on the garage and you need to get up, eat breakfast and shower. I’ve got plans for us this afternoon. Clear your schedule.”
I smiled at him. “Whatcha planning?”
“You’ll see. Pick you up at noon.” He laid a kiss on me and was out the door.
I ate breakfast with Piper, who was still not talking. My dad was holed up in the office working on a big project. Joss stopped in for half an hour and helped us finish the plans for Thursday night’s party. While I was waiting on Max, I showed Piper my vast collection of movies, books and magazines. I laughed when I saw her eyes bug at the magnitude of my stash.
Yes, Piper, this is what five years of heartache will get you.
When Max told me to make sure to dress warmly, I had a good idea that we were heading to the quarry. He ushered me up into a huge black truck and off we went. As soon as we hit the countryside, he rolled down the windows and turned on the stereo. I jumped when incredibly loud music blasted from the speakers. He patted the dash, grinned and revved the engine. “This is one of the reasons I bought this baby.”
“The music or the engine?” I yelled, my fingers itching to reach up and turn it down.
“Both!” He grabbed my hand and placed it on his leg. He then proceeded to give me a teeth rattling, ear bleeding ride to the quarry serenaded by a guy singing about Bruce Springsteen.
Holding hands like long ago, we walked up the path to our spot. I waited until we had settled ourselves onto the blankets and were enjoying a thermos of coffee before telling Max about my visits to the quarry over the years. I couldn’t help but pout. “You probably already know all of this. You had an advantage, Max. I didn’t get to spy on you for the past five years.”
“That’s not necessarily true. I knew you weren’t married but had no idea if you were seeing someone.”
This surprised me. “What? Your spies wouldn’t tell you if I had guys coming in and out of my house?”
His scowl made me laugh. “No, and trust me, I asked. Plus, they backed off when you moved to Greensboro for college. They felt you weren’t in any danger as long as you weren’t in Charlotte.”
I snorted sarcastically. “That must have chapped your ass.”
He arched an eyebrow and looked down at me. “Was there?”
I played dumb. “Was there what?”
“Someone special in your life?”
“No Max, there wasn’t anyone special.”
There wasn’t anyone at all.
“Ever?” he asked, as if this surprised him.
“Why do you seem so surprised?”
“Babe, I watched every move you made for almost three years and, trust me, when I finally got the chance, I took it and I was not disappointed. It is seriously hard to believe that the second I lost that chance, someone wasn’t there to pick it up.”
This made me angry. “You think that I would just jump into someone’s bed the second I realized you weren’t coming back? That’s insulting.”
He gave me a tight squeeze and his voice filled with pain. “I left you, Ellison. I took your virginity, gave you promises that I intended to keep and then had to walk away. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t surprise me if you had.”
“Well, I didn’t. Instead of trying to find someone to replace you, I did everything I could to find you. I didn’t want another guy. I wanted you. I wanted to know why you left. I wanted answers or some form of closure that only you could give.” I could feel the back of my nose stinging and knew it was a matter of seconds before the tears would come.
Would I ever stop crying over this man?
“What about you?”
He cradled his head on my shoulder. “What about me?”
“Was there ever someone special for you?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
“No.”
I tilted my head to see his face. “Never?”
“Never. You were it for me.” His beautiful eyes stared right through me and made me shiver with their intensity.
This was shocking. “So you haven’t slept with anyone in five plus years?”
His sparkling eyes went flat. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to,” he warned. “You notice that I asked if you had anyone special, not if you had anyone at all. There’s a big difference. If you want to go there we can, but why dig up something that is better left buried?”
Good point. I don’t want to tell him about the guys I slept with either.
“Now,” he said smiling, “tell me about what I missed out on.”
I regaled him with stories about my aunt and Benny. This led into funny stories about Joss, Kurt and Piper. He wanted to know everything he had missed and I was happy to indulge him. However, it did not slip past me that I was doing most of the sharing.
We were packing up our things when he asked me about Dillon.
Crap.
“I thought we were leaving the past…in the past?”
“Yes, we are, but Dillon isn’t yet the past.”
Gazing into his eyes, I prayed that he could see the truth in mine. “He is to me.”
We were halfway back to the car when he zinged me with another one. “Did you sleep with him, Ellison?”
“Does it really matter, Max?” I sped up, hoping to outrun the conversation.
He stopped me outside the car. “Baby, I’m not stupid. I know when I showed up at Dragonfly and saw you two together that I was about to step in the middle of something. Now, I need to know what that something is.”
I inwardly cringed. Why did he have to be so flipping perceptive? “Look, it’s over and done now. I am with you…. aren’t I?”
“Yes, but Dillon pulls no punches about not wanting me in your life. I assume that’s because he wants you in his life. I need to know what I am in the middle of.”
I understood what he was saying but I didn’t see how it mattered.
“Ellie,” he warned.
I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Okay! No, we did not sleep together, happy now?”
“Yes, but like I said before I know there was something between you and, if so, I need you to tell me what that is. Baby, no guy is going to get that pissed off unless he has already been there and is staking his claim or has been given the green light and is afraid of losing his chance. So, if you haven’t slept with him, I assume it’s the latter of the two.”
I could tell he was losing patience. “Oh, all right,” I hissed, now sick of the whole conversation. “I kissed him a few times and considered doing more.”
Cocking his head, his voice turned chillingly quiet. “How much more?”
I searched his face hoping he wasn’t as serious as he sounded. “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
His eyes bored through me. “No.”
Grabbing onto every bit of patience that I could muster, I told him what he so desperately wanted to know. “The night you showed up at Dragonfly, I was supposed to go over to Dillon’s place after our shift. However, I changed my mind when I walked in and saw him at the bar all clinched up with his ex.”
“And just like that you were done?” He sounded as if he didn’t believe me.
“Just like that,” I confirmed.
“The black haired bitch with Jennifer is his ex?” He scrunched his nose up as if he smelled something rancid.
Trying not to smile at his obvious dislike for Dana, I answered, “Yep.”
“Who was the guy you were dancing with?”
“Oh, that… was just Gage.”
“Gage who?”
“Not really sure. Blackwell, I think? He was just some guy that I was using to piss off Dillon. It was all stupid and childish,” I dismissed it with a wave of my hand because, really, in the scheme of things, it had no relevance. Max, however, didn’t see it this way.
“Why were you trying to make him jealous, Ellison?”
“Well, for one, I had just caught him with Dana. So, thinking that I’d give him a taste of his own medicine, I said yes to Gage’s invitation to hang out. If that wasn’t bad enough, I found out that he was outside with Dana while we were on the dance floor. When I got out there, they were kissing. I knew right then that I could never be with him. After everything that had been said and done, I could never trust him.”
“Fuck me,” he said.
“Max!” I chastised.
“So, you are telling me that this guy is pissed because he was seconds away from having you and fucked it all up…with her?”
When you put it that way…
“Then I came along and he knew that he would never get that chance again. Hell, I can’t say I really blame him,” he shrugged. My jaw dropped and he chuckled. “Baby, he screwed up and before he got the chance to make it right I showed up and you permanently shut him down. Can’t say I blame him for being pissed off. What I can say is I am glad it didn’t happen. Now I don’t have to kill him.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Are we done here?”
“Yep,” he chuckled, “we sure are.”
The next morning Max got an early call that took him to the garage for the day. When I asked him about it, he said something vague about construction and personnel.
Joss, Polly and Lena were coming over at noon to work on party plans for Thursday night and, at the last minute, my dad decided to drive to South Carolina to visit an unhappy author. Hanging out with the girls was refreshing, not to mention good for Piper. I was doing everything in my power to pull her back out of the shell that she was hiding under.
Around four Polly and Lena had to take off. They were both working at Dragonfly and needed to get ready.
“Since Max is with Kurt in Tennessee, why don’t you both come hang out at the bar tonight?” Joss asked.
“What did you just say about Max being in Tennessee?” I asked, wondering if I had heard her correctly. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Piper shaking her head at Joss and I threw her a scowl.
Joss flinched. “Uh…maybe I heard Kurt wrong this morning.”
“No back peddling,” I warned. “Max told me he had to be at the garage and obviously I now know he’s not. Spill! What do you know?”
“Nothing really,” she hedged. After a minute she broke. “I need to learn to keep my damn mouth shut around you! Max called Kurt early this morning and said there was something up at MMG in Tennessee and he needed Kurt for back-up.”
“Did he say what for?” Piper asked.
“That’s all I know…really. Kurt just threw on clothes, kissed me and told me to man the bar with Dillon tonight until he returned.”
I was absolutely dumbstruck by this. “I can’t believe Max would lie to me. Should I call him? I should, shouldn’t I?”
Piper snorted. “All guys lie, Ellie.”
Joss shot her a scathing look. “Not all guys lie, Piper. Kurt doesn’t and neither did Max. He probably just didn’t want to worry you, Ellie.”
“Yeah…right.” Piper’s condescending tone wasn’t helping.
Joss shot me a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-her look and I answered with a shrug. “Why don’t you both come by the bar tonight and, when Max shows up later, just ask him about it?”
I shook my head. I was both hurt and mad. This was a really bad combination for me. “Nope, I’m calling him.”
“Ellie,” Piper warned, “you’ve got that bullheaded look on your face right now, you know, the one where you go off half-cocked and get into trouble? I really think you should listen to Joss and wait until you see Max later. I’ll even join you for a while at the bar.”
As tempting as it was to get Piper out of the house, I just couldn’t let it go. Grabbing my phone, I punched in the number Max had given me and waited.
“Max here,” he abruptly answered.
I know that he sees it’s me calling because he has Caller ID.
“Hi,” I murmured shyly.
“Yeah,” he clipped, as if I were interrupting.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
“Uh….” I hesitated, really unsure about the tone in his voice. “I was thinking that I would come by the garage and bring you dinner tonight, but I didn’t know how many guys I needed to cook for. So, I was calling to find out.” I watched Piper roll her eyes at Joss and stuck my tongue out at both of them.
“Not a good idea tonight,” he said.
I hadn’t heard this tone in his voice before and it bothered me. “Why? Is everything okay?”
“I’m tied up here right now and don’t know when I can get away. No need for you to walk into this mess. Maybe some other night, okay?”
Wanting him to come clean about where he was, I asked, “Want to talk about it? Maybe I can help?”
“Haven’t had a mother in years, babe. I don’t need one now. Catch up with you later.”
Before I could reply, I heard a click on the other end. I double checked the display on the phone to make sure that it didn’t just drop the call.
Nope. The A-hole just hung up on me!
I turned to Piper and Joss. “He just told me he didn’t need a mother and hung up on me! If this is the new Max, I’ve just decided I don’t really like him!” I was hurt and angry and there was no way in hell that I was going to sit home all night waiting for him to grace me with his lying presence. “Why are you two just standing there? Come help me pick out a hot outfit! And, for Pete’s sake, do not even think about saying I told you so!”
Joss and Piper helped me with my wardrobe selection and then we both helped Piper cover the bruises on her face. Joss then ran home to get dressed.
We decided that I should wear my short black skirt because it fit like a glove through my hips and flared at my thighs. It moved with my body when I danced and I planned on doing a lot of dancing. I debated whether or not to go sans panties until I started having flashes of big gusts of cold wind, slipping on spilled beer or having to go to the ER for some odd reason roll through my head. So, panties it was, but I made sure they were on the skimpy side. Piper always had the best t-shirts, so when I asked if I could borrow one, she told me to grab one out of her suitcase. I found a really cool grey and black vintage looking tee with the word Dooley’s written across the front. I threw it on and headed downstairs. Piper was standing in the kitchen when I hit the bottom step. Her eyes drifted to the shirt I had on and her smile wavered.
Looking down to make sure it didn’t have a stain or something on it, I asked, “Is this one okay? I love the vintage look of it. Where did you get it?”
She shrugged. “I don’t remember.”
I could tell she was lying, but was afraid that if I pushed too hard she would bail for the night or change the subject back to Max. So, I decided to let it go…for now. Throwing on my black motorcycle boots and leather jacket, we headed out the door.
I could tell Piper was worried about me but wasn’t in the mood to pacify her. Max is lying to me was playing like a broken record over and over through my head. It was sitting in my gut like a lead weight, right along with a large dose of hurt and anger. Both were driving me to do something I
would probably end up regretting.
Doesn’t it always?
We walked into Dragonfly around six. I was surprised to see how packed it was and then remembered that Kurt had just hired a new guy to play on Tuesday nights. I assumed by the crowd that he was good.
“Oh my, who is that fine piece of man flesh behind the bar?” Piper asked, as we threaded our way through the crowd.
“That is Dillon.”
She yanked my sleeve and halted our progress. “Ellie, you were definitely holding out on me! He is super hot, like… super duper hot,” she stressed.
“Yep,” I replied, not wanting to get into it. Boy did I know how hot Dillon was.
He is nowhere near the hotness of Max, but after today….
Deep down I knew this was just my hurt and anger talking, but still…..
I watched Dillon’s silver eyes hit on me right as we reached the bar and couldn’t help but smile when he mouthed, “Hey Ellie Belly.”
“He likes you,” Piper sang in my ear.
“He did.” I made sure to stress that it was in the past.
“No, I mean he really likes you. His eyes are practically eating you up. Surely you can see that?”
I didn’t know what to say to this. I had made my decision, which if I was being honest really wasn’t much of a decision and I wasn’t going to change my mind.
Even if I was being lied to, I still choose Max and always will.
Still, it didn’t hurt my ego to see the look of appreciation in Dillon’s eyes.
“Scoot down two stools, guys,” I heard him say to the two men sitting right in front of him.
“See, I told you!” Piper blurted, as we neared the two stools, “He still really likes you.”
Slowly enunciating each word and hoping that they would get through her thick skull, I said, “Piper, we…are…friends. Now, let it go.”
“Okay, okay!” she huffed as we sat down.
“Hey Dillon, this is my best bud Piper O’Connell. Piper, meet Dillon Whitaker.”
My stomach somersaulted when he flashed his vintage Dillon-Sex-God grin and asked, “How’s it going?”
“It’s getting better by the second,” Piper beamed.