I’d been avoiding this conversation since I got back last weekend. Sam always wanted to know every detail in my life, and I was a private person. She knew the basics about me, which included my embarrassing crush that I’d had on Nate since forever. Now that we were older, she always suggested I try being bold. Well that didn’t get me anywhere.
“Nope,” I muttered, refolding a t-shirt somebody sloppily put back on the shelf.
She gaped at me. “Nope? That’s it? Did you even try, Blair? I know that you’re all innocent and whatnot, but if you don’t at least try putting yourself out there then—”
“He turned me down, okay?” I hissed, trying to calm myself down as customers passed by us.
I sighed and picked a clothes hanger off the floor.
It was embarrassing to know that the Nate Evans turned me down, when he never turned anybody else down before. I understood that he didn’t want to screw over our friendship, but what could it really hurt? He’d slept with plenty of people before. Why couldn’t he have just done it with me? Clearly I did something to him. It couldn’t have been because I was ugly, or that I didn’t affect him.
“And by the way,” I informed her, “I’m not innocent.”
She snorted. “You had sex like two times with that douchebag you called a boyfriend. That hardly tapers your innocence. Personally, I don’t think that experience counts.”
“Well it certainly doesn’t make me a virgin,” I pointed out a little too loudly. A group of college kids walked past me as I said that, and a few of the girls started giggling.
I blushed and straightened out the next clothing rack. Sam put her hand on my shoulder, causing me to look over at her. Her blue eyes sparkled, which I knew couldn’t be good.
“Girl, if you didn’t cum, it doesn’t count.”
My jaw dropped. “Oh, my God! Did you really just say that out loud? We can get fired, Sam! You may not need this job, but I sure as hell do.”
“We’re Walmart employees,” she retorted. “Do you really want to work here the rest of your life? I mean seriously girl. We clean up after people and get paid minimum wage doing it.”
“It’s better than nothing,” I reminded her. “We have an apartment to pay for, and we can’t pay rent without a job.”
She became quiet as her hands slowed over a pile of hideous sweaters resting on the shelf. I knew that when she didn’t have anything to say, it was because whatever brewing in her mind was bad.
“Sam…”
“I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” she mumbled, turning toward me. She bit down on her bottom lip nervously, and an unsettling feeling came over me.
I waited silently.
“I’m moving out.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “You’re kidding, right? The rent is due in two days, and I can’t pay for that on my own. You know that Ray said if we’re late again he’ll evict us!”
She looked away.
“That’s why you’re leaving?”
She made eye contact with me. “I found a cheap one room studio, and I can afford it on my own. I don’t want to screw you over, but—”
“That’s exactly what you’re doing!” I growled.
“Blair, I’m—”
“Don’t,” I warned, holding my hand up. “I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry unless you mean it. We were friends, Sam! Why are you ditching me when I need you?”
She had the nerve to roll her eyes. “Stop being so frigging dramatic, Blair! Yes, I’m making a dick move and leaving. I’ve been evicted by so many other people, and now I’ve got my chance to live in an affordable place where that won’t happen again. So be happy for me!”
“But I’ll be kicked out!”
She groaned and walked away from me. That wasn’t the end of it though, because I wasn’t going to accept that she was willing to just leave me out to dry. What was her problem all of the sudden? She was the one who found the apartment. Everything in it was hers besides my bedding and groceries. What was I supposed to do?
I followed her back to the fitting rooms, where she sat behind the desk. She pulled her phone out and started texting somebody, completely ignoring me. We’d known each other since freshman year of college, and she was one of the few people who stuck by my side when I decided to drop out. To think that something changed suddenly for her to back out of our apartment and leave me behind is beyond me.
“Why are you doing this?”
She sighed. “I told you—”
“I get that finding a cheaper place is best for you, but I’m being screwed over here! So there has to be another reason why you’d happily leave me with an apartment I can’t afford on my own.”
She put her phone down on the counter. “Blair, I love you. We’ve been friends for a couple years now, and I’m really glad we know each other. I just want something different than you. In fact, I met somebody. He’s a really great guy, and he’s very sweet.”
Unbelievable, I thought to myself. We swore we would never ditch each other because of a guy. It was the one thing we promised when we first became friends. This guy better be a billionaire or a god in bed if she’s going to choose him over me.
“I can’t believe it,” I told her hurt. “We’ve been through a lot, and for what? I wouldn’t have minded so much if you told me before our rent was due. When are you moving out? How much time do I have to try finding something else?”
“You have your grandparents. Your mom…”
My insides boiled. “You know damn well that I don’t have them! How could you even suggest that? I haven’t even spoken to my mother since—”
“I’m not interested in your problems!” she blasted before I could finish. “Geez, Blair! You always complain about your past, but you don’t even do anything to get over it. I get that your mother isn’t your favorite people in the world, but she’s still your mother. Not to mention you have Aaron and his wife. Plus you have Nate.”
I lost Nate a week ago…
I brushed it off. “You used to understand me better than this. My mother is only my mother by blood at this point. Nothing else. Whoever this guy is clearly screwed you up. You’re not the independent friend I know.”
“You’re embarrassing yourself,” she informed me.
I stood there speechless.
Usually I could communicate with her better, but she was shutting me out. Sam was a lot of things, but she wasn’t the type of person to do things out of whim. Moving out was understandable because of the cost, but not telling me until now? Not giving me time to figure out what I’d do? And then to mention living with my parents as if she didn’t know what happened? She was trying to hurt me on purpose. I just didn’t understand why.
“Sam, if something else is going on…”
“I need to move on with my life,” she stated. “I’m twenty-three for crying out loud. The longest relationship I’ve been in was three months, and my parents still have to help me out with money. I’m currently failing at life, and found a good path. Maybe you should try the same thing.”
“Excuse me?”
Now I knew there was something going on.
“How long have you spent pining over a guy who isn’t interested?” she questioned. “It didn’t work out this weekend, so move on. Maybe you’ll meet a guy that’s actually worth the attention you’re trying to give away. You’re twenty-one, and you’re already in a rut.”
My eye twitched. I balled my hands into fists and was ready to say something when our manager walked over to us. I could tell by the way we were being looked at that we were in trouble.
“Ladies,” Cassie greeted us cautiously. “I’ve had a few customers mention two tense women in the apparel department. Care to explain what’s going on?”
“We’re fine,” I assured her.
“Actually,” Sam disagreed, “We’re not. In fact, I’m tired and irritable today and every day I work here. Sorry Cassie, but I quit.”
She stuffed her phone in her
pocket and took off her vest. As she passed Cassie, she shoved the vest into her chest and kept walking until she was out of view. Both Cassie and I stared in shock. Neither one of us said a thing for a long moment.
“What was that about, Blair?”
I shrugged. “I really wish I knew…”
“Well she can’t really quit without putting in her two week notice,” she stated, looking down at the blue vest. “She hasn’t acted like this before. Is something going on in her life?”
I sat down behind the counter. “She said she met somebody, but I don’t know who. She just told me that she’s moving into some new apartment, which means I have nowhere to live.”
“Wow.”
I nodded slowly.
“Well…” She sighed. “I can’t let the fitting rooms go unattended. You’ll have to stay for an extra hour. At least you’ll get overtime.”
My jaw ticked, but instead of arguing, I nodded and watched her walk away. Usually I wouldn’t mind getting a few extra hours in, but I worked my other job until four this afternoon. I was tired, my feet hurt and I was cranky. Could I really say no though? What was another hour? As long as I got money, since I’d be needing it to look for a new apartment.
I pulled out my cell phone and went through my contact list. I hadn’t heard from Nate since he dropped me off last weekend. Usually he texted me every day to see how I was, but I hadn’t gotten anything. There were times when I wanted to text him, but I knew that he wasn’t going to reply. There were too many times when he was on his man period, and I was sick of it.
Why should I be the one to talk to him? He was always acting out when he didn’t like something that happened. There were multiple times when he had temper tantrums, but somehow all of them ended with me being the bad guy. Whenever we fought, he usually stopped talking for a couple of days. This time was different, and I wasn’t sure when things would go back the way they were.
I stared at my cell phone’s background photo. It was Aaron, Nate and me at my grandparents’ house for prom night. My date had bailed on me to take some other girl, so Nate offered to take me instead. I never really thought I showed how ecstatic I was that night, but the photo my grandmother took said it all. My eyes were lit up as I watched Nate put my corsage on. It was almost embarrassing to stare at, because my flushed cheeks in the picture was an easy giveaway. Did Nate know how I looked at him? He was always great at reading people, and I was an open book that night.
I scrolled through my apps to hide the picture, because remembering that night was hell. Nate promised he’d stay until the end, but he never even danced with me once. He met one of my classmate’s sister and ran off with her. I never really forgave him since then, because it was my senior prom. It was the one day I was excited to dress up and let loose.
That wasn’t the only time he ditched. There had been plenty of other occasions where he left me to fool around with other girls. During move in day at college, he told me he’d help me move everything into my dorm room, but some college girl flirted with him and he disappeared for an hour and a half. When he showed back up Aaron and I had already finished putting my room together.
Or there was the time my cat Smokey died. It was during the fall, and the ground was already frosted over. Nate promised that he’d dig the hole next to our dog’s grave, but he called me saying he couldn’t make it all of the sudden. He never told me why, but Aaron ended up telling me later that night that he ended up hooking up with one of his coworkers at the tattoo parlor. I never understood why he spent so much time working there when he didn’t even have a tattoo, but I started to understand then. I’d been waiting for him in the cold for two hours before Aaron finally took pity on me and dug the hole.
I could think of at least five other times Nate let me down, but reliving them was the last thing I wanted to do with the extra time I had here. It was bad enough that I let him disappoint me so many times, but to think about it and feel bad about it all over again? That was just a waste of my time. Hell, trusting him over and over again was stupid enough of me. Maybe Sam was right. Why was I pining over a guy who kept screwing me over?
I snapped from my thoughts when my phone started to ring. Like an idiot, I immediately hoped it was Nate. My heart sunk in my chest when I saw my brother’s name on the screen. I love Aaron, but his timing couldn’t have been any worse.
“Hey,” I greeted tiredly. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that we’re coming home a week early,” he said through the static of the call.
“Why?”
“Katie’s sick.”
“Like sick-sick or Bella Cullen sick?” I asked. “If she’s coming home to have a vampire baby then I want to know now so I can prepare to have a niece that will grow up in like two days.”
There was a pause. “Are you high right now?”
I snorted. “No, just incredibly tired.”
“You sound it,” he agreed. “To answer your question, Katie has the flu. If she was pregnant with a vampire baby clearly she was seeing somebody on the side, which I don’t think I have to worry about.”
I smiled to myself. “I don’t know, Aaron. You’re pretty pale. You can probably qualify as a vampire. Do you crave blood? Do you sparkle in the sunlight?”
I could picture him rolling his eyes. “Vampires shouldn’t sparkle to begin with. They’d be much more badass if they combust in the sunlight. That’s beside the point though. I called just to say we’ll be landing tomorrow night.”
“How is she feeling now?”
I heard her mumble in the background. “She’s running a fever at the moment so she’s burning up. And every time I try getting her to eat something it doesn’t stay down. I’m taking her to a doctor as soon as I can.”
“Tell her I hope she feels better.”
“Will do, sis,” he replied. “By the way, we found a few things that we think will look good in your apartment. They’re tiny, so there should be room.”
I frowned. Should I tell him?
“Well…” I sighed. “Sam is leaving.”
“What? When?”
“Within the next couple of days,” I ground out. “I don’t know what’s up with her, but something is. She found some cheaper place that only fits one person, and I can’t afford the rent on my own.”
“She just told you about this?”
“Yeah.”
“What a bitch,” he muttered. “Well our new place is only a one bedroom, but we have a couch. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it’s a place to sleep. When do you have to move out?”
“Ray’s going to evict me as soon as he finds out I don’t have the rent money,” I answered. Just thinking about what Ray must think of me is horrible. I’ve always been responsible when it comes to making payments on time. It was Sam that was always behind.
“Tell you what,” he began. “Call up Nate and have him bring his truck to the apartment. You guys can load up whatever you have and bring it to our place. You can stay with us as long as you need to.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. I was thankful he offered, but I had to listen to them when they still lived at our parent’s house. They weren’t exactly quiet at night, and it sort of scarred me. Did I really want to have to go to sleep every night with earbuds in blocking out the noise?
Not to mention I wasn’t speaking to Nate. Clearly neither of us had filled Aaron in about that. We both knew Aaron would ask questions, and I was pretty sure that telling him the truth wouldn’t go over well. I mean Aaron knew I used to have a crush on Nate, but that was years ago. When I started dating Zach, he assumed I was over him. If he knew that I tried jumping his bones at the wedding…
“Earth to Blair,” he called out.
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’ll give him a call.”
The next morning I woke up with a headache that was equally as bad as the one I woke up with the day after my brother’s wedding. Thankfully the urge to vomit wasn’t part of the eq
uation this time around. Mostly because I didn’t have anybody to hold back my hair, and if I vomited in it it’d be a shame since I just took a shower last night. If I washed my hair any more than usual the color would fade ten times as fast.
I turned to my side to grab my phone off my night stand and screamed when I saw Nate standing at my door way. I fell off the bed, almost hitting my head on the corner of the stand, and landed hard on my side. My heart was speeding in my chest as Nate rushed over to help me up.
I pulled away from him. “What are you doing here?” I demanded, pulling myself up from the ground. I sat at the edge of the bed, trying to calm myself down.
“Your brother called me,” he said in an unamused tone. He had no right to be angry that I didn’t call him. He didn’t necessarily seem too enthused to talk to me for the past week.
“So?”
He rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me that you have to leave here? I don’t like finding things out from your brother. Last time that happened—”
“This isn’t like last time!” I snapped. I stood up and grabbed my robe. I was in skimpy shorts and a destroyed t-shirt with no bra on. It was hardly what I wanted him to see me in. I tied my robe closed and walked into the kitchen. Nate followed me like a lost puppy.
“Fine,” he said, “That doesn’t explain why you neglected to tell me that your roommate is leaving. I know that you have to move out. Where are you going to go, Blair?”
“I’m sure your best buddy told you that I’ll be staying with him,” I replied coolly, pouring myself what was left of the Frosted Flakes.
“The hell you are.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“Yes,” he stated. “You’ll stay with me.”
I snorted out an unattractive laugh. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”
He wrapped his hand around my wrist to stop me from what I was doing. “Why not? Would you really rather sleep on your brother’s couch? I have an extra room in my apartment that nobody uses.”
“We’re not friends last I checked.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What makes you think that?”
Wasn’t it obvious? “Friends talk to each other, Nate. We haven’t said a word to each other since last weekend. Excuse me for assuming that you don’t give a shit anymore. I know what it means when you cut off contact. We’ve been through this before.”
A Safe Place to Fall (Places Book 1) Page 3