Will to Love

by Miranda P. Charles

  Then it dawned on him. He had to date Clarise to find out if that would work for the both of them. He would need to see if they could have a relationship where they could enjoy each other's company without getting in each other's way. Wasn't that why people dated? To figure these things out?

  And while he determined if that arrangement would work, he decided he wouldn't have sex with her. He figured she deserved at least that consideration. And if he discovered she was after a full-on, committed, romantic relationship, he'd be out the door. That just wouldn't work for him.

  Now that his intentions had changed from 'I want to have casual sex with you' to 'I want to date you', there was no reason to avoid calling her anymore. The guilt had gone. In fact, he was looking forward to speaking with her again. With a light heart, he picked up his phone and dialled her number. Maybe she's free tonight.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Clarise was about to walk out of her office when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and her heart skipped a beat before galloping.

  Swallowing her nerves, she answered the phone. "Hi, Will," she said cheerily, like she was greeting an old friend.

  "Hi, Clarise." Damn, why does it feel so good just to hear her voice? "Finished for the day?"

  "Yeah. I'm just about to go home. You?"

  "Well, work's kind of never done for me but, yeah, I'm ready to call it a day."

  There was a moment's pause and Clarise was looking for words to say when Will spoke again. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight. That is if you don't have any other plans."

  "Umm, no, not really. I mean I don't have any plans and yes, dinner sounds great." Clarise couldn't stop the grin that spread to her face.

  "Great! I'll pick you up from your place. I'll book us a table somewhere. What time do you want me there?"

  "Let me see." Clarise checked her watch and did some quick calculations. "How about seven o'clock?"

  "Perfect. I'll see you then."

  "See you, Will."

  "Bye, Clarise."

  Clarise glided all the way home.

  Will thought about how he could keep his greedy hands off her.

  ~~

  Clarise heard the buzz of the security intercom. Will was right on time. She wondered if she should invite him to come up first before they go out or if she should meet him downstairs. She decided it was better to meet him downstairs. After what happened last time, they might not make it out to dinner. Clarise blushed at her wayward thoughts.

  She pressed the button to speak with him. "Hi Will, I'll be right down."

  "Okay."

  Clarise came out the front door wearing a sexy and sophisticated olive green dress and a lovely smile. Will's breath hitched.

  "Hi, beautiful," he said, and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

  "Hi, beautiful, yourself," she said to him shyly. Will smiled and motioned for her to follow him to his car.

  As he opened the passenger door for her, Will put his hand on her lower back, just like he did when he led her to their table at the cafe the other day. Electricity crackled around them at that small touch.

  Clarise acutely felt the nerve endings of her lower back where he'd touched her and wondered if it was just her having this reaction. She again felt her heart was already getting involved.

  Will felt the electric charge on his hand right down to the tips of his fingers and wondered if it was just him having this reaction. He again put it down to lust.

  "Where are we going?" Clarise asked as Will started to drive.

  "I thought we'd go to that new restaurant, Stillwaters. Apparently, the food there is really good. Have you been there before?"

  "Yes, I have," she chuckled. "I just finished my article on them. It's coming out in the next issue. And yes, the food there is excellent. Good choice."

  "Well, I guess it's a good time to be going there tonight then. By the time the magazine comes out and people read your article, they'll be so busy it would be hard to get a table at the last minute," he said, amused.

  They spent the rest of the short trip to the restaurant in companionable silence.

  When they were shown to their table, Clarise was waiting for Will to put his hand on her lower back. He didn't do it this time, leaving her wanting and disappointed.

  He kept both hands in his pockets as they walked to their table. He remembered his promise not to sleep with her during this discovery period. But even little touches like putting his hand on her back were proving to be too much of a temptation so he'd just decided to avoid touching her like that, too. Why did he feel like he'd cheated himself of something good?

  Dinner was proving to be an enjoyable time for them both. Their shared personal stories about their travel and dining experiences - something they both enjoyed - and laughed about some of the more interesting personalities they have met through their work, without naming names as they both respected the privacy of their clients.

  Time flew by without them noticing. Before they knew it, dessert was being served before them.

  "Do you have brothers or sisters, Will?" Clarise asked as she took a mouthful of her delectable-looking dessert.

  "No, I'm an - "

  "Mmmm," she moaned. "This is delicious."

  It was an innocent moan, meant for the dessert, but Will felt his cock stir upon hearing it. He couldn't even remember what he was saying. Pathetic, Will, pathetic.

  "Sorry, Will, I didn't mean to interrupt you but you just have to try this." Clarise spooned a portion of her dessert and lifted it close to Will's mouth.

  Will's lips curved in amusement and opened wide so he could take what she offered. It was indeed delicious. But the thought that the spoon that just went into his mouth had just been in her mouth was even more delectable.

  "You're right, delicious," he murmured.

  Clarise smiled triumphantly at Will's confirmation and happily went back to her dessert. "How's yours?" she asked, casting a longing eye on his plate.

  Will smiled at her delightedly. He could tell she was a dessert person. She must have a sweet tooth.

  "Let me see." He spooned a mouthful of his dessert, let it melt in his mouth slowly and pretended to consider his judgement on it, all the while watching her.

  Clarise looked at him expectantly.

  "Hmm, nice," he said. "Just as delicious as yours, I think." He licked his spoon as if cleaning it off before spooning a mouthful for her. "Here." He fed her a spoonful of his dessert, watching intently as her lips closed on the spoon and sucked the food off it.

  "Mmmmm," she moaned again, stirring his loins even more. "You're right, it's just as delicious," she smiled at him appreciatively. He beamed.

  He watched her eat and was disappointed she didn't moan again.

  "What, you like mine better than yours?" she asked him, arching her eyebrows. "We could swap if you want. I don't mind, although I'm almost halfway through mine and you've hardly touched yours," she smiled impishly.

  He hadn't realised that he'd stopped eating to watch her.

  He grinned at her indulgently. "I was watching you eat, Clarise. I wasn't eyeing your dessert."

  "Oh," she flushed appealingly. She was so alluring. He found himself wanting to do things that pleased her.

  "You can have mine too, if you want. I don't mind."

  "No! You have to eat yours," she said insistently, eyes wide, with a big emphasis on 'have'.

  "Why?" he asked with a chuckle, her expression entertaining him.

  "Because if you don't, I'll end up eating it and that'll be way too many calories for me."

  "Oh. So what?" He didn't think he'd care if Clarise put on a few extra kilos.

  She gave him a mocking frown that said 'you know why'. He laughed and continued to eat his dessert more slowly than she was eating hers.

  In a short time, she'd cleaned her plate while he hadn't finished with his.

  Without a word, he lifted a spoonful to her mouth, silently urging her to
take it. She shook her head. He gave her a "take it" look and wiggled the spoon a little bit.

  She looked at the spoon that was inches from her mouth, looked at him warily, and looked at the spoon again. She sighed, lips curving into a small smile then she opened her mouth to let him feed her. He sent a victorious smile her way.

  "That's it, no more for me," she announced, delicately wiping her mouth with the napkin.

  Will just smiled as he popped another spoonful in his mouth.

  The next spoonful was inches away from Clarise's mouth again.

  "Will, please don't tempt me," she begged in that cute way of hers.

  Wicked thoughts exploded in Will's mind with her words. Suddenly, it became of utmost importance to him that Clarise take this next spoonful.

  "You know you want it," he said in a low voice, his eyes narrowing.

  "No," she whispered and pressed her lips together.

  "Yes, you do," he said encouragingly, his mouth curving into a wicked smile.

  "No."

  "Of course, you do." He smiled his gape-inducing smile that would make any red-blooded woman swoon and wiggled the spoon close to her mouth.

  How can I resist him with that look? It's not fair! She pouted prettily then opened her mouth.

  Will's smile widened even more and Clarise couldn't help but smile back at him.

  She snatched the spoon off his hands. "My turn," she said and scooped a huge spoonful leaving only a very small amount on the plate, and held it close to his mouth.

  "That's too much!" he protested with mirth.

  "Please?" she said imploringly, fluttering her eyelids at him. Will found he couldn't say no to this enchanting creature so he obediently opened his mouth wide and took everything on the spoon.

  She gave him the sweetest smile, scooped up what was remaining on the plate and ate it. "Mmmmm. That was so satisfying," she said with an expression that confirmed she was indeed satisfied and leaned back on her chair smiling.

  Oh, my lord. Will wondered if she had any idea how hot she made him feel right that moment. He lifted a glass of ice cold water to his mouth to cool himself down.

  "Clarise!" a good looking man in his mid-30's wearing a chef's uniform cried warmly. It was Hugo Ballentyne, the head chef and owner of the establishment.

  "Hugo, hi!"

  "I'm glad to see you back here so soon, my darling. It must mean you really like me!"

  The pest was leaning too much towards Clarise, Will thought. And he had his hand on her shoulder. Much as he enjoyed his food, he decided he didn't like the man.

  "Oh, I didn't know we were coming here tonight. It was Will's choice. But I'm glad we're here. Hugo, this is Will Matthews. Will, this is Hugo Ballentyne, the owner of this place."

  Out of politeness, Will stood up and shook Hugo's hand. The pest's warm smile while talking to Clarise turned a few degrees colder when he turned to Will.

  "Is there anything else I can get you both?" Hugo asked but looking only at Clarise.

  "I'm fine, thanks. I'm stuffed. That was great food, Hugo. Will?" Clarise checked to see if Will wanted something else.

  "No, thanks. I'm fine," he said politely.

  Clarise noticed the stone-cold glare Will gave to Hugo, his earlier humour nowhere to be seen.

  "Well, if there's nothing else then I better get back to the kitchen," the pest announced to Will's relief. But Hugo didn't leave them straight away. He looked at Clarise again as if Will wasn't there.

  "I would really love to see you again, Clarise. Back here," Hugo said to her provocatively.

  Will forced himself to smother his anger towards this man that dared to flirt openly with Clarise. She's with me, idiot! Then as an obvious afterthought, Hugo added, "You too, ah, Will," hardly glancing at him and walking back to his kitchen.

  After that, Will was ready to go. He insisted on paying the bill. Noticing his rather grim mood, Clarise decided not to argue.

  The earlier friendly, fun, flirty mood had dissipated. Noticing how it was Hugo's presence that affected it, Clarise wondered if it was either because Will got annoyed that he was rather rudely ignored by Hugo or because he got jealous of Hugo's too familiar treatment of her. She got thrilled at the thought that Will might be jealous but conceded that the first option was just as possible. And she wasn't happy at Hugo for spoiling their mood.

  As they walked back to his car, Will had his hands shoved in his pockets. Wishing for the mood to lighten up again, Clarise held on to Will's arm with both hands, almost hugging it so that her chest was pressing against it. It was a little bold on her part but at that moment, it felt right to Clarise. Will looked at her with a tender smile, put the arm she was hugging around her shoulders and kissed her temple. Clarise put her arm around his waist and sighed softly with contentment. She felt a warm glow travel all over her body.

  They drove back to her place in silence. Clarise felt anticipation build up within her and she wondered what Will was thinking. Was he also thinking of their delicious make-out session the last time he was in her apartment?

  Will followed her to the front door of her building although he didn't touch her. Clarise fished for her keys from her bag. Will he ask to come up with me, or will he wait until I invited him? She knew that she wanted to continue what they started that Sunday afternoon when he dropped off his box of travel books. She wanted Will. Tonight. Was she ready for this? Yes.

  She looked at him, her eyes revealing her desire. "Would you like to come up?" she asked him.

  Will stared at her for a long moment, shook his head slightly, and sighed. "No, I better go home." He brushed his knuckle against her cheek and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

  Clarise was stunned. 'No' was the last thing she expected. She felt confused and the pain of rejection stabbed at her chest. Well, she might have promised herself she would take big leaps but she was not about to plead and beg. She still had her pride.

  "Okay," she said, planting a smile on her face but her eyes betrayed her hurt feelings. "Goodnight, then. And thanks for tonight. I really had a great time." She turned to unlock the door.

  Will stilled her movements and captured her chin with his hand, tilting her head so their lips were only inches apart. Then he gave her a deep, desperate kiss that seemed to reach for her soul. They were both breathless when he pulled away.

  "Goodnight, baby. Now get in so I know you're safe inside," he said huskily as he gently pushed her through the door.

  Clarise didn't know whether to laugh or cry as she walked through the foyer to her apartment. Ooohh, what a sweet, confusing, sweet, frustrating man!

  ~~

  Will looked at his alarm clock and groaned. 2:42am, it read. He'd been trying to sleep for hours but the turmoil in his head and heart wasn't giving him rest.

  On their way back from the restaurant, the silence in the car gave him the chance to explore the feelings he felt that night. He wanted Clarise badly. He already knew that before last night. But he was shocked to discover that he'd also started to care for her. His reaction to that pest Hugo and the overwhelming tenderness he felt for her as they walked back to his car confirmed it for him.

  Realising that he cared for Clarise scared the hell out of him and had him retreating. That was one step towards falling in love and he didn't want to fall in love with anyone anytime soon. He just wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready for the compromises and commitment that came with a serious relationship. There was still so much he wanted to accomplish in his business so that he could ensure his parents would have the care and lifestyle they were worthy of for the rest of their lives. He had no intention of putting a relationship with a woman above those priorities until they had been accomplished.

  His failed relationship with Karen, entwined with the physical, mental and psychological injuries suffered by his parents, made him a blinkered man who could only see the drawbacks of a serious relationship. He re-confirmed his decision that no-strings-attached-sex was still only as far as he would go w
ith any woman in the foreseeable future. And he was certain that wouldn't suit Clarise. She deserved better than that, but that was all he would be able to give.

  When she asked him last night if he wanted to come up to her apartment and saw his desire mirrored in her eyes, he felt a momentary joy. But he knew he couldn't do that to her - he couldn't sleep with her when he wasn't prepared to give her what she deserved. He felt a burst of protectiveness towards her that he said 'no'. He chuckled wryly. He protected her from him!