by Leslie Gould
“Yeah, well . . .”
Zane hoped Grant would be able to get back for the birth, but he didn’t want to say anything. It wasn’t his business.
Casey headed into the living room.
“The Amish girl is really pretty,” the woman said. “She looks like she has a lot of spunk.”
Zane nodded but didn’t say any more. Donna seemed nice, but he didn’t want to talk about Lila with her. Or with anyone. He followed Casey into the living room and ate some chips and dip. He watched a round of Mortal Kombat that Grant and Wade were playing and tried to stifle a yawn. Next he stood beside Casey while she chatted with another one of the women in the unit. Finally he said he had some paperwork he needed to do for the next day and slipped out the front door.
He didn’t allow himself to look at the photos of Lila until he reached his room. He knew he should delete them. He had no business having her image on his phone. She wouldn’t want that, not at all. But he couldn’t do it. Instead he texted Simon back and thanked him for sending the pictures.
A week later, as Zane leaned against a wall inside the base Burger King, waiting for his lunch, he pulled up a new, blank e-mail on his phone and typed in Lila’s old e-mail address. When he was a junior in high school they’d managed to meet at the Strasburg public library and Zane had made an e-mail account for her and then sent her a message. He talked her through the steps to pull it up, answer it, and resend.
A couple of times, before they stopped talking, he’d sent her messages. The first one she had answered in five weeks—the next time she’d gone to the library. The second one she hadn’t answered at all.
If he sent her one now would she answer it? He could wish her a happy birthday before he left.
He closed his e-mail account. That was a stupid idea.
His parents and Adam were on their way, and Zane needed to leave to pick them up at the airport. He’d just stopped to grab a burger. As his number was called from the counter, Casey stepped through the door.
“Hey!” She waved. “I thought you were on your way to the airport.”
“I am,” he said. “I’m grabbing something to eat first.”
“I hope I’ll get to meet your family,” she said.
He stepped up to the counter. “You will,” he answered over his shoulder. He’d just have to make sure Mom understood that he and Casey really weren’t dating.
“What are you doing here?” He turned toward her, his bag and drink in his hands. She didn’t eat fast food. He’d heard that from her a hundred times in the last year.
She nodded toward the parking lot. “I saw your truck.”
“Oh.” He followed her to the door. “Did you need something?”
She shook her head. “I just wanted to say hello.” She waved and started to her Jeep. “See you soon.”
“Yeah,” he said. He liked Casey, a lot. It felt as if she was the only one in their unit he could count on to have his back.
After he finished his burger, Zane popped one of his Pashto CDs into his stereo and responded to the questions as he drove. “Where is your leader? How many weapons do you have? Where do the Taliban live? Do they cross the border into Pakistan?”
It wasn’t a tourist’s list of phrases—that was for sure. No asking about the bathroom or a cafe on this CD.
As he neared the airport his phone buzzed.
He clicked on Speaker and said hello.
“It’s me,” Adam said. “We just landed.”
“I’m almost there, Bub,” Zane answered. “See you in a few minutes.” His heart raced as he turned toward the airport. To think he originally hadn’t wanted them to come. He slowed his truck, grateful his parents had persisted.
Once they had the luggage stored in the back, Zane’s father climbed up front with him. Mom and Adam sat in the back seat of the cab. Adam hadn’t had the privilege of all the road trips Zane had as a kid, crisscrossing the U.S. as the Army transferred the family around. Adam had flown out to Oklahoma when Zane graduated from basic training, but besides that he hadn’t seen much of the country. Driving from Texas to Pennsylvania would be a lot of fun for him.
“Zane?”
“Sorry, Mom. What did you say?”
“I asked if we’d get to meet Casey.”
He groaned. “Only if you promise to behave. There’s not anything between us, honest. I don’t want you getting ideas.” He didn’t want Casey getting any either.
Before they reached the security checkpoint at the base, Zane’s phone buzzed. He ignored it.
“Do you remember being here before Dad deployed?” Mom asked.
He nodded. He, his dad, and Charlie had thrown a football around. It was the last time he’d played catch with his father. He’d played a few times with Charlie after they moved to Pennsylvania, but it wasn’t the same. Dad had wanted him to play football in high school, but Zane didn’t have any interest in it. Instead he ran cross-country.
Zane handed his ID, and his parents’ too, to the MP as his phone buzzed again. It was Simon, sending more photos of his shooting target. Once Zane had his ID back, he shoved his wallet back into his pocket and continued on.
“What’s the word on Simon?” he asked.
“He’s leaving for basic next month,” Dad said.
“How’s everything going . . . with that?”
Dad sighed. “Well, Tim’s not happy, of course. And it’s going to mean more work for the girls.”
Zane nodded. He’d thought of that.
Adam chimed in, “And their grandma’s sick.”
Zane caught Mom’s eyes through the rearview mirror. “What’s wrong?”
“Cancer,” Mom said.
Zane’s stomach flipped. “What kind?”
“Breast.”
“Oh, no.” Before he could stop himself he asked, “How’s Lila?”
“Worried,” Mom answered. “She hopes to move in with Leona and Eli and help, if she can figure out her other responsibilities. It’s too much for someone who’s not even twenty.”
She was almost twenty. Another week.
“You were a mom by the time you were her age,” Dad said over his shoulder.
“That’s right,” Mom responded. “And Lila’s mother had three babies at that age. But I’d bet Lila still has more responsibility than either one of us did. She waitresses. She does Tim’s books. She’s the primary caregiver for Trudy. She oversees everything in the home—meals, laundry, gardening, sewing . . .”
Zane shivered involuntarily. “Rose helps.”
“Sure,” Mom said. “But Lila’s the one who’s responsible.”
“Maybe if she moved in with Leona and Eli she’d get a break,” Zane said.
Mom didn’t answer for a long moment, but she finally said, “If caring for someone with cancer would be a break, then something is not right for that girl.”
Zane didn’t respond. He turned left, past the Burger King.
“I’m hungry,” Adam said.
“We’ll get some food soon,” Zane said.
Because Dad was retired Army, he was able to get a room reservation at the on-base hotel. Once they were checked in, Zane helped carry their luggage to their room, and then they headed back out to the parking lot. His parents wanted to go to a sit-down restaurant, not a fast-food place.
“Sounds good,” Zane said. He didn’t mind eating again. As he pulled around toward the street, Casey turned into the parking lot. She pulled up to his pickup and rolled down her window. “Hi,” she said. “I was just at the PX, picking up a few last-minute things.” She smiled past him.
“These are my folks,” Zane said. “My dad, Joel. My mom, Shani. And my little brother, Adam.”
“Hi,” Casey said, waving her hand and smiling again. “Pleased to meet you.”
“We were just going to go eat,” Mom said from the back seat. “Want to join us?”
Casey looked at Zane. “Sure,” he said.
“All right. I’ll follow you.”
&nb
sp; “Want me to drive so you can ride with her?” Dad asked, thankfully in a low voice.
“No. This is fine,” Zane answered, pulling forward. Once Casey had turned around, he glanced in the rearview mirror at his mom. “But remember, Casey and I are just friends.”
She nodded, but he doubted she believed him.
9
Shani liked Zane’s friend. Before they ate lunch, Casey bowed her head respectfully as they prayed and even added an “Amen.” Then as they enjoyed their salads and sandwiches, Casey asked how their flight was, asked Adam about school, and disclosed that she was a little nervous about their deployment but happy to be able to apply all she’d learned.
As she finished the last of her salad, she leaned toward Shani. “Zane said you have Amish neighbors.”
“That’s right,” Shani said. “We’ve lived next to the Lehmans for eight years now.”
“Trudy’s my best friend,” Adam said.
“Oh?” Casey responded. “How old is she?”
“I just turned eight,” he said. “And she’ll turn nine next month.”
“Cool,” Casey answered. “So she’s not the one I saw the photo of.” She elbowed Zane.
Shani tensed. “They don’t do photos . . .”
“Simon sent it,” Zane said. “He was being a smart aleck—like usual.”
“Of who?” Shani asked.
“A really beautiful young woman,” Casey said. “Blond hair. Blue—”
“Must be Lila,” Adam said. “She’s Trudy’s big sister.”
Casey grinned and elbowed Zane again.
He grimaced, and Shani wondered what was wrong.
Joel cleared his throat and said, “Do you know what route you’ll take? Through Ireland and on to Kazakhstan?”
Zane shook his head. “Do you think they tell us stuff like that? It’s not like it matters.”
“Well,” Joel said. “It’s always good to know what to expect.”
“Dad hurt his leg in Iraq,” Adam said to Casey.
Her dark eyes filled with concern. “Really?”
Adam nodded.
“What happened?” Casey asked.
“An RPG hit our Humvee, back in 2004,” Joel said. For years he didn’t offer up information about the attack, but the longer he worked with veterans, the easier it became for him to talk about it.
Casey didn’t elbow Zane this time. Instead she turned toward him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged. “It never came up.”
She wrinkled her nose and turned back to Joel. “My dad flew missions over Iraq way back in Desert Storm. He was Navy. He retired before Operation Enduring Freedom started though.”
“I worked with some Navy guys over there. In fact,” Joel said, “I used to tease Zane when he was little that if he was going to join the military he should join the Navy. Or the Air Force. But he didn’t listen to me.”
Casey smiled. “Well, I hate the water. There’s no way I was going to join the Navy. The thought of being on a ship for six months was more than I could stand.”
The conversation continued about the military and the upcoming deployment. “I’m excited,” Casey said. “I’ll be part of an FET—a female engagement team. There will be four of us who will work with the women in the village on safety, hygiene, and hopefully education. There will be a team in the other group too.”
Shani felt good about the work they’d be doing soon. The endeavor, including Zane’s part as a translator and Casey’s work with Afghan women, made her feel more positive about the deployment.
After a while Casey said she should get going and pulled a twenty from her wallet.
“No,” Joel said. “Our treat.”
“Oh, thank you,” she said. “It’s been so fun for me to spend time with a family. I’m the youngest of three, and we don’t get together much anymore.” She slid out of the booth. “See you soon,” she said, smiling at Zane.
He slid out too and stood. “Thank you for joining us.”
She brushed his shoulder with her hand and thanked Joel again and told all of them how nice it was to meet them. “I’ll see you soon,” she added.
After she left the waitress brought the bill and Joel went up to the counter to pay, with Adam tagging along.
“She’s nice,” Shani said. “I really like her.”
Zane nodded.
“Does she go to church? Or the chapel on base?”
“Some,” Zane said. “It sounds like her family went to church while she was growing up.”
“Well I think she’s delightful.”
Zane shook his head.
“What?” Shani asked.
“We’re just friends,” he said. “Army buddies. Nothing more.”
“Is there someone else?”
“Mom, I’m going off to war. And I’m not even twenty-one. I still have plenty of time to find a girlfriend.”
She nodded. “I just feel . . .” She wasn’t sure how much more to say.
“What?”
“Like you had your heart broken . . .”
He shook his head again. “I’m fine.”
“And I worry about you, going off to Afghanistan. I want you to have someone to talk with.”
If only he could talk with Lila when he was overseas. She would be able to help him process what he was feeling.
He shifted his gaze toward the front of the restaurant.
“I mean, I hope you’ll tell Dad and me what you’re going through. But you haven’t much, not for the last couple of years, and . . .” Shani’s voice trailed off.
He pursed his lips.
Had she said too much?
She sighed. “How often do you think you’ll be able to communicate with us?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I should be able to e-mail when I’m on base. And I should be able to use my phone while I’m over there—just to make calls. I set up my plan that way.”
Shani said, “Don’t worry about what time it is for us. Call whenever you can.”
He nodded.
He turned toward her again. “I know this isn’t easy for you,” he said. “Especially after what we—you—went through with Dad. But I’ll be all right. Please don’t worry.”
She couldn’t explain to him that it felt harder to let him go. That was why she wished he had someone special to confide in. She hoped he and Casey at least had a friendship that would offer support for Zane. And Casey too.
But along with everyone else in his life, Zane seemed to hold Casey at arm’s length. He had been polite and cordial during lunch, but that was all.
“When are Casey’s folks coming?” Shani asked.
“They’re not,” he said. Then he quickly added, “She’s fine with it.”
“Isn’t she close to them?”
“Close enough, I think. Her older brother and sister are in the service too. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal in her family anymore.” He shrugged. “Besides, she plans to make a career of this so they’ll have another chance.”
It was hard for Shani to imagine that it wasn’t a big deal to Casey’s folks, but Zane was her firstborn. Maybe that was the difference.
The next morning the weather turned cold, so instead of holding the deployment ceremony outside, it was moved to a gym, where the friends and family sat on bleachers. There were around thirty in Zane’s unit. They marched in, wearing their fatigues, and then stood in formation.
Joel took her hand as Shani’s heart swelled at the sight of Zane. He stood with his arms close to his sides, straight and tall. He’d gotten a haircut the evening before—it was as short as she’d ever seen it. Casey was two rows ahead of him, perfectly poised too.
Their commander approached the microphone and said, “At ease.” He was a captain and looked much too young to be in charge. Or maybe she was getting old. The soldiers put their hands behind their backs and relaxed a little. He spoke for a few minutes about their mission. They’d be providing infrastructure, health care, a
nd domestic support to the Afghan people, hoping to win their hearts and minds away from the Taliban. Zane’s language skills would definitely be needed.
A woman sitting below their family bounced a baby, probably around one, on her lap. After a few minutes, she held him up to her shoulder. He raised his head up and grinned at Adam, who began playing peek-a-boo with the little one. The woman turned to see who was there and then smiled in relief. “Thank you,” she mouthed to Adam. Shani patted him on the leg.
After a short speech the band played the “Army Song.”
Shani sang the words in her head:
“March along, sing our song, with the Army of the free.
Count the brave, count the true, who have fought to victory . . .
. . . For wher’er we go,
You will always know
That the Army goes rolling along.”
Zane used to sing the song when he was little. He’d heard it a dozen times from the ceremonies he’d been to before Joel was injured. She couldn’t help but get a little teary eyed thinking of him as a little guy singing words that meant nothing to him at the time. Now he was all grown up and one of the brave.
Once the music was done, the group was dismissed. Shani told the woman how cute her baby was and then asked who her soldier was.
“Specialist Turner. Grant is his first name.” She nodded toward the middle of the gym. “He’s the one coming toward us.” A solid-looking guy who looked to be a few years older than Zane was headed their way.
“Who is your soldier?” the young woman asked.
“Zane Beck,” Shani said as Joel stood, leaning against his cane.
“Oh, I know him,” the woman answered. “He came over to our house.” She stood and shifted the baby to her hip. “You’re the ones with the Amish neighbors.”
Shani nodded, thinking of Casey’s comment. Funny what people remembered.
“Zane’s a great guy.”
Shani smiled as the woman’s husband approached.
“These are Zane’s parents,” she said.
Joel stuck out his hand to the soldier. “Joel and Shani Beck—and Zane’s little brother, Adam.”
“Grant and Donna Turner,” the soldier said. “And Alex.”