by Blue Remy
“This is Wilma Davis. Your mother, Maryann, gave us this number to reach you. She is worried about your ability to take care of your children.”
“W-what?” I pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at it for a second like somehow I could see the woman. “You talked to my mother?”
“Yes, this morning after church. Wait, did I wake you? Were you still sleeping? It’s nearly lunch time.”
“Hang on, you talked to my mother about my boys?”
“Yes, she said you’ve been gone for almost a month and that she is not in a position where she can care for them full time. Two energetic toddlers can be a lot to handle. The poor woman was run completely ragged by the end of service this morning.”
“I’m sorry for any disruption they may have caused. I’ll give Mama a call right away to check on her and them.”
“Oh, dear. I forgot to mention the children are here with the Pastor and I. I only wanted to ask you a few questions about their likes and dislikes...”
I listened to Wilma talk but I was having a hard time concentrating on what she was saying.
My own mother sold me out?
I knew she was capable but deep down I never thought she’d go through with it or at least not before she talked to me.
“...and we firmly believe in one-hour devotionals every night. I can assure you that your sweet boys will be well cared for, with the help of God. We’ll have the paperwork started first thing in the morning...”
“Hang on, lady. My kids are not going anywhere. As a matter a fact I was on my way to bring them to our new home today.”
“But...but, Maryann said...”
“Well, Mama hasn’t been herself lately and her memory isn’t what it used to be. I’m sorry to waste your time. If you would kindly give me your address, I’ll be there shortly.”
Wilma sputtered and tried several more times to dissuade me, but those were my kids and they belonged with me.
I wasn’t exactly sure why I found myself at the Jumpstart thirty minutes later about to make the worst mistake of my life.
Desperation will make a person do just about anything.
Chapter Seven
I’d gone into the Jumpstart in search of Donnie. I needed to make some cash fast and was willing to do whatever I had to even if it meant dancing. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it all work. I didn’t have a plan beyond picking up my boys then doing whatever was necessary to find us a place to live and fast.
When I stepped into Donnie’s office he wasn’t there, but a large manila envelope full of cash from last night’s bar register was sitting on his desk. There was three thousand dollars in there. I’d watched Tammy, the bartender, count the money before handing it off to Donnie. He barely glanced up before tucking the envelope under his arm, not even pausing the conversation with the familiar pretty blonde who had been there looking for H.
The envelope looked like it had never been touch and was just tossed there as if it held no importance. Wheels of deception began spinning in my head. I stared at the envelope for a minute. Three thousand would get me what I needed. By tomorrow night, I could be settled in the house with my boys. I tried to convince myself that I would find another job and nobody would know. By the look of the mess in Donnie’s office, he probably wasn’t keeping track of things properly anyway. I mean, who would leave an envelope full of cash just out in the open in an unlocked office like that? I began telling myself that I needed it more than him. Visions of my boys who were wild at heart being forced to read bible verses every night wondering why their Mama had abandoned them made my cheeks burn and my heart race. I had to do this for them.
Suddenly I was watching my hand reach out for the envelope. I say watching because it felt like I was only an observer and not actually making the movements.
Was I really going to do this?
All kinds of bad things could happen to me. Did I really think I could get away with it? What if Donnie suspected me first? If I don’t show up for work tonight, he’ll know for sure. I would go to jail! For a long time. It was so wrong. So, so wrong. I couldn’t take the money… but what about my boys? Oh God! I wish I knew what to do?
“What are you doing?” H demanded and I whirled around in complete horror to see him standing with his arms crossed, waiting for my response. Oh, why couldn’t it have been anybody but him? A man I was coming to know as a friend was standing there and probably judging me. I’d never felt so low. Seconds ticked away as I stood there staring at him with my mouth agape. Not a single word came to mind. Not one. No quick cover up, not even a terrible excuse. Nothing. I was frozen. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak. My eyes remained locked on his as he stepped forward.
“Annette? What are you doing?” He repeated but, this time, whisper-yelling as he came to stop just in front of me.
In response, I did something really stupid. Really, really stupid. Tucking the envelope under my arm like a football, I tried to make a run for it. H looked stunned as I tried to push past him. I got all of three steps before his hand wrap tightly around my wrist and he yanked me back.
“Stop! Let go of me!” I screamed and flailed my arms around in a fit of hysteria. The envelope dropped from my hand to the carpeted floor with a soft thud.
“Hang on! Hang on a second, Annette! Calm down.” H said against the side of my face as he locked his arms in an attempt to restrain me. I didn’t want to be restrained, I wanted to get the hell out of there and fast!
Oh God, this is bad. Very bad, Annie!
I thrashed about a little while longer and H pleaded with me to stop and lower my voice. Finally, my body went limp from sheer exhaustion and I sank to the floor with him still grasping both my wrists. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, my chest was heaving and I was on the verge of hyperventilating. I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t even look up. Pretty soon I knew he was going to have to call the cops, and I’d be hauled off to jail.
Oh, my babies. Mama is so sorry!
H squatted down beside me and spoke in the same low whisper he used before.
“What is going on? What are you doing with the deposit money?” His hand gestured to the yellow envelope on the floor. When I finally looked up at him, his dark brown eyes were fixed on mine. There was sympathy mixed with confusion.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled softly and stared down at the floor again. “You’re going to turn me in either way.”
“Turn you in? Are you in some kind of trouble? Help me understand.”
Understand? He wanted me to help him understand all of this? Hell, I didn’t even know what I was doing, but his words did give me a tiny sliver of hope, and suddenly everything was pouring out of me. I told him about my boys, mama, the pastor’s wife, and how I lost all the money I’d saved, all of it. He listened intently but didn’t say a word.
After it was all out, I sat there and stared back at him for what felt like hours as he processed it all. This man determined my fate, whether I got to walk out of there on my own or in handcuffs. He stood up and walked back a few paces, his expression was unreadable as he contemplated what to do with me. He ran his hands over the light scruff on his jaw and let out a long breath. When he finally spoke, I wasn’t at all prepared for his response.
“I’ll get you the money.”
My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and my jaw fell wide open. Before I could even think about it words were flying out of my mouth.
“Wh-what? What do you mean?” I stood up hesitantly yet ready to throw my arms around him for not saying he would rat me out. I had to process one thing at a time. “You would just give me money? Why?”
“Do you need the money or not?”
“Yes.” I found myself replying without thought. “But how?”
“I’ll get it.”
“Look, I appreciate the offer but even if I did take your money, I can’t pay you back, H. I’m strugglin’ as it is.”
“We’ll work something out.”
“Really, I can’t take your money…”
“You will, and you’ll do it for your kids. Attempting what you just did proves that.” My shoulders sagged in defeat and I met his eyes. He was right, I didn’t have a choice. I needed that money.
“Okay. Fine. We’ll work something out but nothing strange, you hear me?”
“Strange?” H huffed out a short laugh and lifted a dark eyebrow. “Strange like what?”
“Anything other than me paying you back in actual cash.” I planted a hand on one hip and put on the sternest face I could pull together. The one I gave the boys when they were acting up.
“Don’t try to intimidate me with the “Mama” stare. Doesn’t work anymore for my own mother and it won’t work for you now.” I suppressed the urge to laugh as I thought of how the look didn’t seem to work all that well on my boys either. Instead, I took a deep breath and pushed my hair away from my face.
“So what happens next?” I asked, not sure how this was supposed to go. “Do we just sign a note or something.”
“Don’t have the money yet but I’ll get it. Meet me out back after your shift tonight.”
“H…” I started to say not feeling too good about him not having it but getting it. “If it means trouble, then I— “
“I’ll get it.” He repeated firmly. “Now, get out of here and let me concentrate on erasing the tape before Donnie gets back.”
Tape? My eyes went immediately to the black surveillance camera in the corner of the office. It was the first time I’d noticed it.
Oh, shit.
Moments earlier, H walking in on me was the worst thing I could’ve imagined but I quickly realized it was the best possible outcome. That beautiful man saved me that night, not only from myself but also from making the worst decision of my life.
Chapter Eight
I wound up back at my motel room because I wasn’t sure where else to go. I no longer felt safe there but had no other options. My money was gone and I was nearly broke. While taking a long hot shower, I cried my eyes out.
Stealing? Really? That was the person I had become?
I dried off and wrapped myself in my thick robe while I thought of a way to convince Mama to pick my boys up from the Davis’ house. I knew I couldn’t make the five-hour round-trip drive to Haventown and back before my shift started that night. Besides, what would I do with the boys while I worked then went with H wherever it was to get the money?
I was relieved to learn that Mama had already picked them up. To her credit, she even sounded remorseful. She said that she’d only meant for them to stay for a few hours while she went grocery shopping.
“Annetta Lynn, you know how those two can be a handful especially out in public. I just wanted a little time to myself, plus I thought they would enjoy some play time with the Pastor’s children.”
I asked her why Mrs. Davis made it sound like the boys would be living with her, a question she couldn’t come up with an answer for. The unspoken truth was that she’d planned to send them over there exactly as the pastor’s wife said. However, it was enough that she had changed her mind all on her own. I loved my mother and it infuriated me that I couldn’t trust her. I told her I’d found a place to live and that I would be picking them up in the morning. No matter what. Even if this thing with H and the money didn’t work out. I would figure out another way. My kids belonged with me and I was never going to be without them again.
The entire night when by in a blink. H was in his usual spot at the table acting as if he didn’t have a care in the world and all I could think of is what sort of plan he was working on. Would it be illegal? Could we go to jail? I even avoided Donnie. Maybe the guilt was eating at me and I couldn’t stop feeling like maybe he’d known what happened. I wasn’t sure if the tape had been discovered. H said he would erase it but I still worried. So basically, I was a total mess of nerves and guilt for eight hours.
At two in the morning, I was standing out back in the dark waiting for him when I heard the familiar rumble of a car engine. H rolled to a stop in front of me, leaned over and opened the passenger door. I stood there staring at him for a second, not having any clue what I was about to get myself into.
“You coming, or did you change your mind?” He asked, his face not giving away whether he cared if I got in or not.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m coming.” Then I got in and sat down on the smooth leather seats and pulled the door shut.
“Ready?” H asked.
“No.” I replied and then giggled nervously. He threw his head back and laughed as he peeled out of the parking lot. There was a hell of a lot of power in that car, so much so that I clenched my jaw together involuntarily as I clicked my seatbelt into place.
We roared through the night, leaving the city lights far behind us as we headed for the unknown, or at least it was unknown to me.
Chapter Nine
I had no idea where we were. H had slowed to a stop on the side of a dark road. When he got out he walked up to another white car parked a little further ahead then spent a few minutes talking to the driver. They must have reached an agreement because they shook hands before H walked back to me.
“Will two grand be enough?” He asked as he got into the Camaro.
“Uh…yes.” I replied hesitantly with my eyes darting around the area as I tried to figure out what was about to happen.
“Okay, see that tree right there?” He pointed to a large tree right next to the car.
“Yeah.”
“Go stand there and don’t leave that spot until I come back for you.”
“Um…okay but where are you going?” I asked, not feeling too thrilled about being left out here alone.
“Just up the street in back.”
“Up the street?” I looked into the direction he pointed but didn’t see anything but dark road ahead. Wearily, I got out of the car.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Sixteen seconds. Tops.”
I stared at him for a moment in complete confusion. Sixteen seconds? Odd. I still got out of the car and stood by the tree just like he asked. When he pulled forward onto the street, so did the driver of the other car.
When they lined up evenly beside each other, I knew they were going to race.
Wait.
Were they going to race for money? For two grand? What if H lost? Would he have to pay the other guy the money? Oh, shit. He didn’t have that kind of money! If he’d had two grand, he wouldn’t be here trying to win it, right? My stomach immediately started twisting in knots. It felt like such a bad idea. I knew nothing about racing and what was involved. Did H just have to be the fastest to the finish line? Was that all there was to it?
Looking around, I realized I was the only spectator apart from another guy who was standing in the middle of the road in front of both cars. He waved each driver forward with a hand encouraging them to inch up a little until he was satisfied they were lined up evenly. My gaze went to H’s car. All I could make out was the outline of him sitting in the shadows. The road ahead was dark, and no street lights meant that we were pretty far away from town. The only sound was the rumbling of both engines as each driver pumped the gas, partly to intimidate as well as in preparation for the race ahead.
The man standing in front of the car pulled out a red piece of material meant to be a makeshift starting flag and raised it over his head. My heart jumped to my throat and I held my breath in anticipation. Before I could even register that the man had dropped his arm and lowered the flag both drivers were screeching forward in a cloud of white smoke. I ran to the middle of the street to watched the red tail lights disappear into the distance.
Breathless, I stood there for what seemed like forever and a lot longer than sixteen seconds. I shot a glance over to the guy holding the red flag.
“What happened?” I asked. He looked over to me and shrugged. I scowled at his unhelpful response. Did H win? What if he didn’t? Would we have to make a ru
n for it? I sized up the guy standing next to me and thought I might be able to take him with my mean right hook. While I considered my fighting skills, both cars were approaching with H in the front. The wide grin on his face when his eyes met mine told me that he’d won.
I hurried over to the driver’s side of the Camaro while it was still rolling to a stop.
“Did you win?” I blurted out the question, unable to contain my excitement but needing verbal confirmation.
“Yeah, darlin’. I won.” He put the car in park then opened the door. I squealed and threw my arms around his neck.
“Thank you! Thank you!” I pecked kisses in the side of his face. Unaware of just how heavy the weight of worry over my future was until that moment. I felt a thousand pounds lighter and it was all because of him.
“Here’s your money, you son of a bitch.” The man said from behind us. When I turned I saw that he was grinning. “Goddamit, Heat. I thought I had you this time. There was a dip in the road towards the end that fucked me up. I should have chosen the right lane.”
“Yeah, yeah. Save the tears and pay up, Risto.”
The man called Risto handed over a big wad of cash.
“I’m coming for you next week, Heat. That Camaro can’t be number one forever.”
“You’ve haven’t been able to catch me yet, Rich Boy.” H shook his head and stuffed the wad of cash into his jeans pocket.
“You ain’t gonna count it?” Risto asked with amusement.
“Nah, I know which fancy house you live in.” Both men shook hands and chuckled before parting ways. It was clear they held a mutual respect even if they were competitors.
Once we were settled in the car I couldn’t resist talking about the bit of information I’d just learned.
“Heat? H stands for Heat? Did your parents not like you or something?”
“No, that’s not what my Mama named me. It’s a racing name. I didn’t choose it. That has to be earned.”