The raw pain of that visit came flooding back in living color—standing before Philip Glen, his head high and haughty as he belittled her and called her white trash.
Tears filled her eyes as she nodded.
Riley curled both hands into tight fists as anger burned in his eyes. “And he obviously knew you were pregnant.”
She nodded again. “He said if I told you about the baby, he would sue for custody. He said with his connections, he could easily get custody, and he’d make sure I never saw the baby again. He sneered at me and told me if I didn’t obey his demands, he would give the baby a ‘proper upbringing.’ I know how you hated your childhood and what a tyrant he was. I couldn’t let our son live that way.”
“If you would’ve told me, I would’ve stepped up. Done the right thing and my father wouldn’t have had any part in things.”
“How could I know that when you wouldn’t even talk to me? For all I knew, you would hate our child as much as you seemed to hate me.”
His hand went to his chest. “You really think I would’ve done that. Really? That I’m that kind of a man?”
His pain cut her to the quick as if he had stabbed her. She had just inflicted the worst pain of all on him since he prided himself in being an honest, trustworthy, genuine man. He strove to be the very opposite of his father, and she’d all but accused him of being his dad.
She grabbed his hand. He tried to pull away, but she held tight. “I’m sorry, Riley. I was young. Hurting. Alone with a baby on the way. No money. No hopes of continuing to sing to support myself and the baby. Emotional and not thinking clearly. I know in hindsight you would have been there for Owen but think about it. Even if you were, your dad could have trumped any effort you made to get custody.”
He jerked his hand free. “I’m Owen’s father. I would have prevailed.”
“Would you have? Against your father and all his money. His connections. He would’ve called in every lawyer he could and fought until he won—just to spite me. You know that. I knew that back then, and I couldn’t take a chance. Wouldn’t you rather I raise Owen and not tell you then to have your father raise him?”
“You,” he admitted, his tone and posture dejected. “So what do we do now? He can still fight us.”
“I don’t know. We think about it. Pray about it. Maybe seek legal advice. All I know is you deserve to know your son, and I had to tell you.”
Riley dropped to his knees in front of her. He clutched her hands. “I’m sorry, honey. So sorry. If only I wasn’t so pigheaded and answered your calls, this wouldn’t have happened.”
She never expected this response and wasn’t prepared to handle it. “No. It’s all my fault. I should have stood up to your father, and then gone back to get your address when your mother was home.”
Riley shook his head. “I can’t blame you for running. No one stands up to him.”
“You did. You left home to become the person you wanted to be and cut all ties.”
“But that was after years of him trying to control me, and honestly, it was done out of desperation. You didn’t have the same motivation.”
“Don’t let me off the hook this easy. I take full responsibility for my actions, and I’m so, so sorry that you missed out on Owen’s first years.”
“Wait. Owen. His name is Owen.” Riley’s eyes widened. “You named him after my grandfather.”
She nodded. “I knew how much he meant to you, and I wanted you to be a part of your son’s life even if I couldn’t tell you about him.”
He squeezed her hands, and then got up to grab her phone. “Wake this up and let me see him again.”
She pressed her thumb on the reader and gave the phone back to Riley. He stared at the screen, a smile sliding across his face. He looked at her, and a blistering, painful moment passed between them. “When can I meet him?”
Right, meet Owen. Become part of his life. Maybe try to take custody.
Fear grabbed her by the throat. That kind of fear that left you paralyzed—not physical, not like a stalker in the shadows—but the kind that told you no matter what you did, your life was about to fall apart, and you were helpless to do anything about it. That kind of fear left her unable to speak.
Leah had paled and looked like she might be physically sick. Riley stood unmoving. Thinking. He had a role in this mess. He should have talked to her back then, but he was young, too. Hurt. In anguish and licking his wounds. He just couldn’t face her. And the result was that he missed four years of his son’s life. He should forgive Leah. Now. Here. It was probably terrifying for her to tell him about Owen…and his father. But now that he thought—really thought—about what happened, he was angry. Good and angry. And honestly, he couldn’t get beyond it. He didn’t know who deserved his anger, but it was there. Simmering in his gut.
He hadn’t felt this deep raging disappointment and resentment since the day he left home. But now it came alive in his every pore, and he couldn’t get past his emotions. He had to think about everything she’d said. Process the news.
But first…first, he had to see his son.
“When, Leah?” he demanded, his tone sharp.
She lurched back, her eyes flashing in surprise.
“Now that I’ve had a moment to process, I’m angry,” he said. “Not sure if it’s at you. My father. Me. Maybe all of us. Or even at God. But I won’t apologize for how I feel.”
“You deserve to be angry,” she said, sounding contrite. “And if I could leave so you never had to look at me again, I would, but selfishly I need you and your team. I know that makes me a terrible person, but there it is. I wouldn’t blame you if you walked away and didn’t look back. Just know that whatever you decide about my protection, I want you to get to know Owen.”
He tightened his fists, letting the nails bite into his flesh. “You really know how to drive that knife into my gut and twist it, don’t you? No matter how angry I was at you, I would never walk away and leave you in danger. I thought you would know that, too. And now you can’t blame your comment on being young and naive.”
She cringed. “I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what else to say.”
“It’s simple. Tell me when and where I can see Owen, and we’ll move on. Once I have time to process this we can talk again.”
“Mom and Owen are back at the hotel,” Leah said. “You can meet him in the morning when he wakes up.”
Riley imagined stepping into the room. His child, the precious blond boy in the picture, would be playing, look up, recognize him as his father, and smile. That same eager, enthralled smile in the picture. Riley’s anger evaporated, and his heart lifted like a feather floating in an ocean breeze.
He was a dad. A dad, for crying out loud. Him. Riley Glen, a dad. And he’d meet his son in the morning.
His anger completely vanished. He couldn’t explain his roller coaster of emotions. Mad one moment. Glad the next. But he did get one thing.
He was a dad. A for-real, honest-to-goodness dad.
He’d been dreading the all-nighter waiting for Blake’s team to finish processing the scene, but now he was grateful for it. He wouldn’t sleep a wink anyway, and the investigation would help pass the time. That was when he could quit staring at Owen’s face.
Riley got out his phone and held it up. “Text me Owen’s picture.”
He gave Leah the phone but didn’t bother giving her his number as she’d called him before. He was eager to look at his son again. His son. An adorable blond-headed boy with a big smile and bright eyes. Kind of a Mini-Me.
Riley couldn’t even grasp the thought, it was so foreign to him. A parent. He was a parent. And he wouldn’t be an absent one. Not like his father. He would be there for Owen. Each and every day. For the big things. For the small things. He’d already missed so much. He wouldn’t miss more.
Then it hit him. Hard. Like a punch to the chest, and he couldn’t breathe.
How could he be there every day for Owen with Leah traveling all the ti
me? He couldn’t. Not unless he gave up his life and traveled with her. Or sought custody of Owen. Neither option a good one. The first would destroy him. The second would destroy her. And would it completely destroy Owen?
His phone dinged, and he glanced to be sure the picture had arrived, but then he shifted his gaze to Leah. “What are we going to do about this?”
“Do?” she asked, but she had to know what he meant. She was likely stalling.
It made him mad all over again. He took a firm stance and didn’t look away. “I want to be part of Owen’s day-to-day life, but how can I be when you’re always on the road?”
She raised her chin. “I’m not always on the road.”
“A lot of the time, though, right? Especially with this make-it-or-break-it tour you’re on. How long is that?”
“Three months, but I don’t perform every day. I have time off. I’ll be home.”
“So I can what?” He stared and didn’t bother to hide his anger. “See my son for five or six days of the month? After you kept him from me for four years? Four years.”
“It’s my job, and I have to provide for Owen.”
Riley shook his head and looked up at the ceiling for a moment to gain a smidgen of calm before he acted like his rigid father. He sucked in a breath and let it out, then locked gazes with her. “And here we are again. Right back there. Our last day together. You touring the country. Me staying at home. But this time?”
He paused and locked in on her eyes. “This time there’s a little four-year-old boy caught in the middle. How will you make that right, Leah? How?”
5
Riley was sure the sun was high in the sky by now even if the windowless backstage area gave no hint of it. But he felt the time changing in his bones because the morning brought the biggest day of his life.
He would meet his son for the first time.
Riley wanted to race out of the amphitheater and rush to the hotel, but the crime scene was still being processed. He touched the picture of his son’s face one more time and stowed his phone in his pocket to pay attention to the activity around him. County’s forensic crew was finishing and loading up their equipment. Time for Riley to get his team members started on this case and move forward in finding the stalker, then get to the hotel.
He dialed their cyber expert, Eryn Calloway, quickly brought her up to speed on the situation, and gave her a brief explanation of his past with Leah. “I’m sending you a picture of Leah’s tattoo, and I need you to search the Internet for any photos where her tattoo is shown. As soon as possible would be great,” he added as Eryn had a young daughter and they tried to be cognizant of that and help her work around parenting.
“I can start right away. Bekah’s still sleeping,” Eryn said. “Sounds like you’re thinking someone close to Leah leaked the tattoo to the media.”
“It’s either that, or Leah’s responsible for Jill getting inked, which would make her a suspect.”
Eryn didn’t respond, but silence left an uneasy tension.
“And how likely do you think that is?” she finally asked.
After Leah had dropped a bomb on him, he had to think about that for a moment. She could be keeping other secrets, too, but she wasn’t a killer. Or at least he didn’t think the mother of his child could do that. He gave Eryn the same answer as he gave Blake. That he didn’t know.
“I’m glad to see you’re at least allowing for the possibility,” she said. “Something that can’t be easy to do when you were once so close.”
Riley had to agree. Not easy at all. But he wouldn’t linger on that. “Also, Blake is going to call you about imaging Leah’s electronic devices for email information on the stalker. You’ll make a copy for us to review, too, right?”
“Only with Leah’s permission.”
Say what? “We need that information if we hope to catch her stalker.”
“Then I’m sure she’ll be glad to give it to us.”
“Would she? “Actually, she seemed a bit hesitant about her computer. Said as a celebrity she had to protect her private life.”
“Well, she does, and I can understand her being cautious.”
Not the response Riley expected.
“I’ll talk to her,” Eryn continued. “And ease her mind about that, but ultimately it’s up to her.”
Riley paced to diffuse his mounting frustration. How could he be expected to find a stalker—who could also be a killer—if Leah tied their hands? He would have a talk with her, too, and if she still refused, he wouldn’t let up until she gave in.
She was still sitting in the dressing room, and he could do that now, but Blake would be turning over the scene in moments and that took precedence. Riley had wanted Alex to take her to her hotel and stand guard outside her room to keep her safe as well as to stop her from running with Owen. He didn’t really think she might do that, but after the bombshell she dropped, he felt like anything was possible. But when he suggested she leave, she asked to stay in case she was needed. If they located any other evidence as to who killed Jill, Leah thought she might be able to help interpret it.
“Is there something else you need from me or are we done?” Eryn asked.
He focused his thoughts. “The guy also stalked her on Twitter. Name is leahfan.”
“Okay, I’ll look into that, but you know Blake is the only one who can get actual identification from social media and this guy’s email account.”
“I know. Just do what you can, okay?”
“Of course, and Riley…try to relax. You sound like you’re wound up tight, and that won’t do anyone any good.”
“I’ll do my best,” he said and meant it, but how could he relax when a woman had been murdered and Leah had a stalker?
He had so much on his plate right now. He needed to work each and every moment to find the killer, and yet, make time to meet and get to know his boy. He needed help. Thankfully he could call on his top-notch team to support him.
“Before I go, can you get the team together for a meeting?” he asked. “Sometime in the next few hours.”
“Most of the guys are holding trainings.”
“We could meet on their lunch break,” he said, not willing to give up that easily. “I’ll have food delivered.”
“Then they’ll be there because you know they never pass up free food.” She chuckled and ended the call.
Riley wished he could laugh with her, but he was still stinging from the way he and Leah had left things, and he had to figure out their future before his mood could improve. He’d never take Owen from her. Never. She was his mother. The only parent he’d known for four years. That would devastate him, but Riley would find a way to be part of his son’s life, and if that meant joint custody then he wouldn’t settle for less.
Blake turned from his conversation with a forensic tech and started across the room. If Blake had finished, then Sam could begin working, so Riley motioned for her to join them.
“We’re done here, and I’m releasing the scene.” Blake ran a hand over his face, his five o’clock shadow dark and out of character. He’d always been clean-shaven and well groomed, but then, Riley had never spent all night at a murder scene with Blake.
Blake let his hand fall, and it landed on his service weapon where it remained. “I suppose you’re planning to do your own forensic evaluation.”
“I am,” Sam said.
“I hope you plan to share anything you find that we overlooked.”
Sam didn’t answer right away, and Riley could tell she wanted to say no. After all, Blake wouldn’t share anything he’d located unless he had questions about it. But that wasn’t because Blake didn’t want to share. Department regulations prohibited him from doing so.
“I will,” Sam finally said.
Blake responded with a clipped nod and looked at Riley. “I’ll keep you updated.”
“Appreciate it.”
“And I assume you’ll be seeing to Leah’s safety until we apprehend the suspect,�
�� he added.
“I’ve got her back,” Riley said and tried his best to look in control.
Blake cocked his head and watched Riley. So fine. Riley didn’t exactly hide his emotions. One of his weak spots. Except when he was on duty as a police officer. There he’d managed to hide everything he was feeling, and he needed to take the same attitude now.
“Okay,” Blake said not changing his focus, which told Riley he knew something was up. “I’m out of here.”
He strode across the room, keeping to the walls. He was doing his best not to disturb forensics before Sam had a chance to do her thing. Something most law enforcement officers wouldn’t have considered, but Blake was a cut above, and Riley often wished Blake was part of the Blackwell team. But then if Blake joined them, they wouldn’t have a strong law enforcement contact. Also, to work on the team, Blake would need to suffer a serious injury that took him out of his current job, and Riley didn’t wish that on anyone.
Sam turned to Riley. “I didn’t see a ring on Blake’s finger. Is he single?”
Riley shot her a surprised look.
“Not for me.” Sam shook her head as if her being interested in Blake was out of the question. “I would never date anyone in law enforcement. It’s for my friend. I think she’d be into Blake.”
“He’s married.”
“Then why no ring?”
“Cause he’s married to his job, not a woman.”
“So he doesn’t date, then?”
“Never heard of him doing so. Feel free to try to set him up, though.” Riley smiled, trying to let his sour mood go. “But promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“That I can be there when you tell him. It’s bound to be good for a laugh.”
Sam playfully punched Riley in the shoulder. “Just for that, you’ll be the last person I tell.”
Riley chuckled but then remembered the reason for being there and quickly sobered. “If you’ve got this, I’d like to escort Leah back to her hotel.”
And meet my son.
Cold Fear Page 5