“You’ll be noticing a lot of similarities, I think.” Her mother picked up Owen’s toys and books and put them in his backpack. “You did a good thing, Leah. Telling him, I mean. I know you’re scared, and you don’t want to share Owen, but it’s the best thing for Owen.”
She glanced at her mother. “I hope you’re right, because right now, it feels like my world is collapsing around me.”
“We’ll just have to trust God, won’t we?” She got out of the vehicle.
Leah climbed out, too. “Always your answer for everything. Even in the worst of times.”
“You have to live beyond your circumstances. Trust God beyond them.”
“Even when your child is hungry and you have no food?”
Her mother frowned. “I tried my best, sweetie. I really did. And took every bit of help that was offered so you didn’t go hungry for long.”
“I know you did, Mom, and I am forever grateful that you did and kept trying to make things better. But I hope Owen never has to experience the humiliation of getting free breakfasts at school when all the other kids know they’re just for the low-income families and make fun of you. Or standing in a soup kitchen line.” The memories were too painful to think about, so she willed them away.
“There’s no shame in needing help like that. Only shame is in how you’ve always seen it.” Her mother sighed. “Look at you now. You have abundance. Way more than is required for everyday life, and you still have needs. Deep unquenched needs.”
Leah hadn’t told her mother about the embezzlement yet as she didn’t want her to worry. “Not physical ones. Owen has never known, nor will he know what it’s like to wonder where his next meal will come from.”
Her mother looked hurt, and Leah gave her a hug. “I’m not dissing you, Mom, or the way you raised me. You did everything in your power to take care of me. I know that and I appreciate it. I’m doing the same thing for Owen. I hope you can understand that.”
Riley’s gut churned with acid as he looked at the interior of his home. He’d never shown his cabin to anyone who meant as much as his son did. He wasn’t close to his parents. Didn’t have siblings. Hadn’t dated anyone seriously in years. That meant he never brought anyone home with him except his teammates, and they’d been to his cabin more times than he could count—no big deal.
So touring Leah, Vivian, and Owen through the space seemed as personal as laying his heart on the table for close examination.
“Is this my room?” Owen asked as they stepped into the guest bedroom.
“I thought your grandma could sleep in this room, and you and your mom can stay in my room.”
Owen looked up at him, a quizzical look on his face. “I mean my always room.”
Riley didn’t know how to answer that. “I…ah…I’m...”
Leah knelt by Owen. “Why do you think you would have an always room here?”
“Because Daddy lives here and mommies and daddies live in the same house. Now that Daddy’s back, we will all live here, right?”
“Um, well.” Leah flashed a glance at Riley. “That’s something we’re still talking about.”
Owen scrunched up his face, and Riley held his breath in wait for the next question he probably had no answer for. He wanted to be a good dad, but how? He’d never done it before and had no idea what to do.
Owen looked around the room. “Where are the toys?”
Riley whooshed out a breath of relief. “I didn’t know you were coming here until today, but if you tell me your favorite things to play with, I can make sure I get them.”
“Really? Do you mean it?” Owen’s face lit up as he beamed a smile up at Riley.
How would he ever be able to discipline or say no to a boy with such a precious face? He knew dads had to do that, but how? Just how?
“Really,” Riley answered and set aside his worry about parenting to deal with on another day. Leah could take care of the hard things while they were together, and he would watch and learn.
“I want to go play with the puppy,” Owen said.
“That might not be possible right now.” Leah stood. “I have to go to a meeting with Ri—your...your dad. We can get your toys and books from the car. Grandma can read to you, and you can play here.”
Owen’s lower lip poked out, and if Riley thought he would have a hard time saying no before, he was now certain it wouldn’t be possible. Riley half enjoyed seeing how adorable Owen looked and half hated that his son was disappointed when he could likely fix it. “I can call Hannah to see if it would be okay for Riley to play over there during our meeting.”
Leah frowned.
Riley met her gaze. “If it’s okay with you, of course.”
“Please, Mommy.” Owen’s pout grew larger.
“I wouldn’t mind the time to rest,” Vivian said.
Riley flashed her a smile of thanks.
“Then, yes, you can go if Hannah says it’s okay.”
“Yippee!” Owen jumped up and down and bounced out of the room.
“I’ll grab a snack for him from his backpack before he goes so he doesn’t crash.” Vivian followed Owen out the door.
“Help yourself to anything you can find in the kitchen, too,” Riley called after her. He got out his phone to call Hannah but felt Leah’s gaze on him. He turned. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to go against your wishes and won’t suggest something again before asking you.”
“It’s okay,” she said.
“We need to talk tonight about the future. It’s not fair to Owen not to know what to expect.”
“I agree we need to talk, but not tonight. Not after my concert. I’ll be wiped out.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing here or what we should do next, and I want to be fresh for that discussion. We have to make sure we put Owen first.”
“Absolutely,” he replied, longing to spend every second with his son.
He loved Owen. A love he never knew was possible. How could he take one look at a child and have his life changed forever? This had to be the same kind of love God had for His people. Riley truly got that now, and he would always put Owen first. From today until the day he took his last breath. But from what Riley could tell in the little bit of time he’d spent with Owen, the boy wanted his mother and father together, living in the same place, and there was no way that could happen without a huge change in the way he and Leah lived.
God could do amazing things, and now Riley fully understood that God’s love went beyond words, and He would do the very best for the three of them. Problem was, Riley had learned in life that the very best came with great pain designed to help him grow. Mature in his faith. Into the man he was meant to be.
He’d experienced so much pain and abandonment in the past, could he survive even more? Something he also had no answer for, and with Leah watching him, it wasn’t the time to figure it out.
He held up his phone. “We need to get going. Let me arrange things with Hannah.”
She answered right away, and he made his first ever playdate for his son. How weird was that? He didn’t mention to Hannah that Owen was his son, only said he was a friend’s boy. She’d know the minute he arrived at her house, but he didn’t want to spring it on her over the phone. It would be crazy enough to tell her in person.
When Owen finished his snack, they said goodbye to Vivian and headed out.
Leah started to lift Owen into his car seat, and he shook his head, a stubborn expression on his face. “I want Daddy to put me in my seat.”
A flash of hurt registered on Leah’s face, and Riley’s heart broke for her. “I don’t know how to do the buckles, but your mom does.”
Owen crossed his arms.
“How about if Dad puts you in the seat, and I teach him how to do the buckles?” Leah suggested.
Placated, Owen nodded. Riley was fast learning what an amazing mother Leah was.
He picked Owen up, and he circled his arms around Riley’s neck and hugged hard. “I’m glad you came b
ack.”
“Me, too, buddy.” A lump formed in Riley’s throat, and he had to swallow hard as he settled Owen in his seat and stepped back to allow Leah access.
She scooted in front of him, and he caught a whiff of her scent. She used to smell like apple pie, but now she had a flowery scent he couldn’t place. He liked both. Too much for his own good.
He forced his attention to the straps. She fastened them easily from years of practice, but Riley wasn’t sure he’d caught it. At Hannah’s house, he would try to remove the harness and learn it for sure. He’d likely get a car seat if he planned to have Owen on his own. Or maybe Leah would bring the seat. That might be easier.
He shook his head and got in the car. He could jump out of helos, fire and maintain the most complicated of sniper rifles and other firearms, but he was totally helpless in figuring out a simple car seat. Seriously, his life was never going to be the same again and he thought that was a very good thing.
Owen hummed “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” all the way to the Blackwell residence, and the song stuck in Riley’s head even after Owen stopped.
“Carry me?” Owen asked.
Riley was happy to oblige and scooped him up in his arms. He received another hug and smile that Riley tucked away to remember when things got tough in their meeting.
“I want to push the button,” Owen said at the door.
Riley bent forward, giving Owen access to the doorbell.
“He can walk, you know,” Leah said, but instead of sounding put out, her voice held humor.
Riley smiled and enjoyed the moment. Just the three of them. On their first family outing of sorts.
The door opened and Hannah stood there, a wide smile on her freckled face. She wore her typical jeans and knit shirt, and her vivid red hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She ran her gaze over Owen, and her smile suddenly faltered and disappeared.
“Oh, he’s…not a friend…he’s…” She let her words fall off and moved her focus between them.
Riley understood her feelings. He’d experienced them not too long ago when Leah told him about Owen. Hannah frowned. Right. She was mad because she thought he’d kept this from her. She saw herself as the team mother and wanted all of her children to be happy. That often meant prying and long talks, but he couldn’t have possibly shared about his son.
Barkley came bounding out the door, David running after him, stealing everyone’s attention.
“Puppy!” Owen squirmed to get down, and Riley set him on the ground. He charged after David.
“Stay close, Owen,” Riley called after him and refused to take his eyes off his son. He wasn’t about to let him wander off into the woods on the first day he was in his life.
“I’m Hannah Blackwell,” he heard Hannah say, but he didn’t turn to look at the women as they got acquainted. “And that’s my son, David.”
“Leah Kent. Owen’s mother.”
“As in the Leah Kent?” Hannah’s voice shot up. “Oh my goodness, yes. I was too shocked at…well, you know…to even look at you. But it’s really you, isn’t it? Here. And you’re Owen’s mother.”
David and Owen came back toward the house, Owen carrying Barkley who was almost the same size as he was and didn’t look comfortable as he dangled from Owen’s arms. But Barkley didn’t complain. He was used to being handled. Not only did Mia and David play with him every day, but Eryn’s daughter, Bekah, was often over here, too.
Owen stopped and looked up at Riley. “This is Barkley and David. He has a sister, Mia. We’re going to play with her. Bye, Dad.”
Hannah took a quick intake of air, and Riley faced her.
“Bye, Owen,” Leah said.
“Oh, bye, Mom,” he called over his shoulder as an afterthought.
When the boys were inside and out of earshot, Hannah grabbed Riley’s ear and pulled him close, treating him like a wayward child. “You kept this from me? All of us?”
He freed his ear. “I only found out last night. So yeah, kept it from you for a whole eight hours or so.”
Her gaze went to Leah. “You didn’t tell him.”
Leah blushed and shook her head.
Riley felt an irrational need to stand up for Leah. “It’s complicated, and I’ll tell you all about it when I come back, but for now, thank you for letting Owen play with David and Mia.”
She planted her hands on her hips. “You also didn’t mention Leah. Not once in the year I’ve known you, and you’ve had plenty of time to bring her up.”
He looked at Leah. “Hannah thinks she’s the team mom and sometimes gets a little bossy.”
She cuffed him gently on his arm, but grinned. “I prefer to call it overprotective and nosy.”
Riley laughed, but Leah simply smiled.
“I look forward to getting to know you, Leah,” Hannah said.
“Translated, grill you for every detail of our past.” Riley snagged Leah’s hand and backed away. “Let’s get out of here before it’s too late.”
He laughed and ran for the vehicle, towing Leah along. He heard her giggle, and for a moment he was back five years ago, and he wanted to spin. Lift her into his arms and swing her around. Because despite the stalker, despite the murder, and not knowing about his son for years, delirious happiness curled through Riley like the best surfing waves.
He had a son. A healthy, bright, adorable son. Riley had been called Dad or Daddy. Not once. Not twice. But so many times he finally quit counting.
“You will pay for this, Riley Glen.” Hannah laughed and went inside.
Riley opened his SUV door for Leah and stood back.
She was still grinning as she climbed inside. “Hannah seems really nice.”
“She is. We all love her and give her a hard time.” He closed the door and jogged to the other side thinking what a wonderful family he had in his teammates. And his family! He had a family of his own now. Sure, Owen was sprung on him in a way he wouldn’t wish for any man, but Riley wanted to look on the bright side. Embrace his fatherhood.
Thank you for my son. For his health. For everything to do with him. He’s amazing, God. Amazing!
Blessings wrapping around him, he got behind the wheel and took them down the drive past the team cabins and past another grouping of log cabins all the same, all utilitarian. “For our class participants.”
She looked at him. “Do you teach?”
“I do. Several classes actually. One on concealed carry and one on long guns. But my favorite is one for urban snipers.” He pointed ahead at a large building about the size of a gym and pulled into the parking area. “This is where we’ll be meeting. Down the road a bit, we have a town with storefronts, and in my urban sniper class, I get to teach new snipers how to hit their marks no matter the situation. We even take them up in the helo, though they’ll never likely shoot from one. It adds a thrill to their day and makes them want to come back for other classes.”
“You really like your job, don’t you?”
“Like? Nah. Love it.” He flashed her another smile and got one in return that stole his breath.
It was one of those smiles she had on stage that every man wished was for him alone, and wow! Just wow! It was something else having it directed his way after only seeing her lately in concert a few times on YouTube. His hand started to lift of its own accord to sink into her thick hair, but he forced it down before he did something he’d regret. “I’ll get your door.”
By the time he got to her side of the vehicle, she’d already opened the door, and he remembered why they were there. His joyful mood vanished, and he sobered. They were there to figure out who killed an innocent woman and who was stalking Leah. Both things needed his undivided attention, and she needed to know what to expect inside.
“Okay. Just a warning,” he said. “We have five guys and two women on the team. You’ve met Sam, and you’ll really like Eryn as she’s pretty easygoing and friendly. She’s a working mom like you, though Bekah is a bit older than Owen. She just turned five. The guys ar
e great, but they can be a bit intense at times. They mean well even if they aren’t always the most diplomatic.”
“Like the sheriff who you said was a great guy?”
“He is a great guy, but yeah, he can be over-the-top, too.” Riley smiled to try to make up for his warning as she was starting to look uneasy. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up as they can be a bit intimidating at first.”
“Thank you. I’m pretty sure I can handle them. I’ve dealt with a lot of crazy fans, the rabid media, and cutthroat music biz people. And—” She smirked, “I handled them all just fine. Let’s see these big, bad guys of yours.”
Riley laughed, loving her strength and ability to roll with the punches. He wanted to sweep her in his arms and swing her around again. Instead, he took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
8
After Riley’s warning, Leah prepared herself for the worst. She knew how to act confidently and had learned how to disarm the most intimidating people, but meeting Riley’s team had a personal element to it, leaving her uneasy. She stepped inside the big building and stopped in the entryway. Ahead of her was an open area set up with tables and chairs in a classroom style. The space as large as a gym with a high ceiling, giving the place a cavernous feeling.
Riley pointed at a smaller room off to the side where voices drifted out of the open doorway and echoed through the big space. “Straight ahead is the conference room.”
She stepped forward and searched for her usual confidence. At least she’d had a chance to take a quick shower, cover her tattoo, and put on some makeup at the hotel. She often felt less than others from her upbringing, but she could always hide behind her makeup and her celebrity status. Though she doubted these guys would care about any of that.
She paused at the door so Riley could go first. He entered the room, she followed, and all conversation stopped.
A woman about Leah’s height with jet black hair pulled back into a ponytail hopped to her feet and vigorously shook Leah’s hand. “Okay, you’ll have to forgive me, but I’m having a little bit of a fangirl moment here. I love your albums. Play them all the time. My daughter and I dance to the upbeat songs.”
Cold Fear Page 8