The next two hours were unadulterated hell. Occasionally patients, were brought in, but with the early hours of the morning the place quietened and left them sitting together in a little pool of helpless anxiety. It was almost three hours before the tired-looking surgeon came through the doors and walked towards them.
'Mr French?' Richard had already risen to meet him, his face sharp with hope, with dread. 'Your wife is going to be all right, Mr French,' the surgeon went on. 'Luckily the broken rib hadn't perforated the lung but was pressing against it, and we've been able to put that right.'
A stab of intense relief filled Sara and she sagged back into her chair, but then she saw that the grave look hadn't left the doctor's face. Richard noticed it too. 'And the other injuries?' he asked sharply.
'Your wife is young and healthy, so we must hope for the best, but you must be prepared for her to lose the child she is expecting.'
Richard blinked behind his spectacles and sat down abruptly.
'Is this a planned pregnancy?' the doctor asked him.
When Richard couldn't answer, Sara said it for him. 'Yes, it is. They want the baby very much.'
The doctor nodded approvingly. 'We'll do everything we can. If she manages to hold on for the next hour or so she should be all right.' Then he went away.
Alex put a hand on Richard's shoulder. 'At least Nicky's going to be okay, old son. You've got that to hold on to.'
'Yes. Yes, I know.'
Richard groped in his pockets for a handkerchief and Alex said firmly to Sara, 'We're not allowed to smoke ' in here, but I could do with a cigarette and I expect you could too. Let's go outside and have one, shall we?'
He took her arm and hurried her outside, not stopping until they had left the hospital and walked round to a tree-lined garden where the patients could sit out during the day. It had rained earlier in the evening leaving the clean sweet smell of fresh grass and wet earth still hanging in the air. The moonlight filtered through the leaves of the trees illuminating a gravel path along which they walked slowly.
'Will Richard be all right alone?' Sara asked after he had lit a cigarette for himself, she having refused one.
'Yes, best to leave him by himself for a bit. He's pretty shaken up by all this. Lord, what a mess! Richard/ should have insisted on taking the rubbish himself,'
'You can't blame Richard for it,' she said tightly. 'If, anyone's to blame, I am. It's completely my fault.'
Alex swung round to look at her. 'You?' he exclaimed.
'Yes. If I hadn't been so insistent on them learning to be self-sufficient,’ if I'd let them have the legacy, they would have been able to afford somewhere decent to-live, instead of on the top floor of that old house. There wouldn't have been any worn stair carpet to trip over, or any need to throw out rubbish. If I hadn't been so stubborn and selfish…'
'Sara, stop it!' Alex threw away his cigarette and took hold of her shoulders, shaking her gently. 'It's nonsense to blame yourself. It could have happened anywhere.'
She raised her head to look at him, her eyes tormented. 'Oh, Alex, she wants that baby so much. If she loses it…'
'I know.' He drew her head against his shoulder, holding it there, feeling her trembling against him. 'But they're young, Sara. It will be a terrible blow, but they'll bounce back, you'll see. They'll probably end up with a football team before they're finished.’ His arm tightened around her. 'And I'm not going to let you cut yourself up inside by thinking it was all your fault. You did what you believed was best.'
Huskily Sara answered, ‘The funny thing is that as soon as Nicky told me she really was pregnant, I told the solicitors to make the money over to her. She would have been getting it any day now. Ironic, isn't it?' she added bitterly.
Alex turned her round to lace him again, but didn't let tier go. 'Sara, torturing yourself isn't going to help anyone, least of all Nicky. All right, maybe you did make a mistake, but it happens to everyone at times. You do something from the best of motives and then blows up in your face and there's no going back.' There was harshness in his voice as he spoke and his hands bit into her shoulders.
Sara looked up at him wonderingly. 'You sound as if it happened to you?'
It did,' he agreed rather .unsteadily. 'When I fell head over heels in love with the only woman I've ever wanted to many and thought I could change you, mould you into the sort of woman I wanted you to be, instead of realising that I'd fallen in love with you for the very qualities I was trying to make you give up.’
Sara became very still beneath his hands, slowly raising her head to see his face. There was an intent look in his hard grey eyes, 'Alex…' she began,
'No, don't say anything. .Not yet. I know we've started off all wrong, but at least give me a chance to put it right.' He paused for a moment, then said slowly, 'When you refused to marry me it made me so mad that I made up my mind to bring you to heel. That's why I was such a pig that night I was supposed to move in with you. I wanted you as my wife, not as a mistress, and I was determined to force you into doing it my way. I deliberately played the whole thing down’ made out it was commonplace, left out all the love and warmth I so much wanted to show you, because I was sure that without it you wouldn't be able to go through with it. And I was right, you bolted like a rabbit to its hole.'
'What would you have done if I hadn't locked myself in the bathroom?' Sara asked curiously.
His mouth twisted in a wry grin. ‘That was something I didn't dare think about. It was hard enough keeping up a pretence as it was. And even then, the whole thing backfired on me. I'd made you admit you cared for me and I thought that after a couple of days you'd see reason and agree to marry me. But the days turned into weeks and it was then I realised what a hell I'd made for myself, so I badgered Richard into inviting us both to dinner. But I even made a mess of that, didn't I,’ he added with bitter self-contempt. 'Instead of talking to you, telling you how much I needed yon, I tried to show you. And you thought I was just trying to dominate you through sex again, and let me know in no uncertain terms just how far that was going to get me. Then I had to go abroad, and although I cursed it at the time, perhaps it was a good thing, because it gave me time to think and I realised a whole lot of things that I'd been too damn stubborn and obstinate to see before.'
‘What things?' Sara asked, her voice dry in her throat.
The first was that without you there would be no future in life, and the second, that although you can compromise in marriage you can't compromise with love.' He paused. 4But before we, can start over again I have to know whether you still care enough.' His voice became urgent. 'You've always been honest with me’ Sara, so tell me the truth. Could you love me?’
The moon went behind a cloud and he couldn't see her face as she gently disengaged herself from his hands and stepped a few feet away from him. For a long time she didn't speak, but when she at last turned towards him her face was troubled and her voice husky with emotion. Whether I love you or not doesn't matter, because even if I married you on your terms I don't think I'd be capable of giving you what you want. ‘I’m—I'm not very good at close relationships, you see;' Painfully she tried to explain. I adored my mother, but she lost interest in me when she remarried and had Nicky, and then___' She held up a hand as Alex made a movement to stop her. 'No, please, let me finish. When I was engaged my fiancé became so jealous when I was more, successful than he was that he made me change my job.'
‘And then there was Nicky.' She shrugged helplessly, 'Well, you've seen what a complete failure I've been with Nicky."
Alex came two swift strides towards her and took both her hands in his. 'You're no failure, Sara. You've got courage and loyalty, you're independent and not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Okay, so maybe your mother didn't give you as much attention as you needed, but that was hardly your fault, and you should have been pleased when you found out what your fiancé was like before you married him. And as for Nicky, she's a very nice girl; just not the type, you wan
ted her to be, that's all. But one I'll be very happy to have for my sister-in-law,' he added softly.
Sara's hand jumped in his and she tried to pull free, but he wouldn't let her go. 'It's not just that,' she told him unhappily.
Slowly Alex said, 'You told me once that you had had several offers of marriage but couldn't accept them. Why was that, Sara?
For a moment she looked puzzled, but then her brow cleared. 'Oh, that was because I was paying off the mortgage on the flat and also struggling to pay Nicky's school fees. When they found that out they didn't want to know—naturally.' She shrugged. 'No, it's not that. It's…' She hesitated, then said with a rush, 'You said you wanted a family, but I'm not sure that I'd be any good at that sort of thing, I'm not like Nicky, I don't have this, urge to reproduce. I wish I did, but I'm afraid I'd be hopeless as a parent.’
She looked up at him anxiously and to her surprise he laughed. 'Good lord, is that all? I was afraid you were going to tell me something dire.' He gathered her to him and said gently, 'No one knows what sort of parent they're going to make until it actually happens. It's something you have to learn as you go along, just like every other part of living. And now,' he said firmly, holding her a little away from him, 'would you please answer the question? And don't tell me you've forgotten what it was, because I know darn well you haven't.'
Sara gave a ghost of a smile. 'No, I haven't forgotten. How could I when you're holding me?' His face was shadowed by the moonlight, but he could see hers clearly as she lifted her face to him. 'Yes, Alex,' she said steadily, 'I love you. I love you so much that I feel empty and incomplete without you.'
His hands dug sharply into her arms so that she winced and for a long moment he could only stare unbelievingly into her face. When he did speak he took her completely by surprise. 'Do you know anything about computers?' he asked rather raggedly.
'Computers?' Startled, she tried to. grope for a reply. 'As much as any layman, I suppose. We did some advertising for a computer firm once, but why on earth..?'
'Because I need a part-time Public Relations officer,' he told her. 'Someone willing to travel anywhere to liaise with customers, someone who can sell my company to the biggest organisations in the world. Well?' he added impatiently. 'Don't just stand there goggling at me, woman. Do you think you could handle it?'
Sara swallowed. 'Yes, Yes, I know I could.'
'And will you accept the position?'
She raised her eyebrows. 'What is the Salary?’
A devilish look came into Alex's eyes. 'Very good, and lady there ate some extremely interesting side benefits.'
'Oh? Do I get a car?’ she asked suspiciously.
'Of course. An Aston Martin.'
'Hm, that certainly sounds tempting, How about holidays?'
'Very generous. In fact the job actually starts with a working holiday in which you'd be given night and day instruction in your new duties,' he added wickedly. ‘Well, will you take it?'
‘I don't know: It all sounds just too good to be true,' she said with mock hesitation.
'Ah,' he said with a reluctant sigh. 'I "see you've guessed it. There is one small drawback — you have to sleep with the boss!'
'In that case I'll definitely take it,' Sara said firmly, and put her arms round his neck as he pulled her to him and kissed her as a woman should be kissed, moulding her body to his own and letting her know how much he needed her. In the warmth and safety of his arms, Sara felt any doubts she might have dissolve away. The years ahead might be stormy on occasion, they were both too strong willed for them not to be, but at least they'd be together, working for a common aim. It might not be happy for ever after, but Sara knew with utmost certainty that the heights of passion would be glorious and worth all the rest. Something of her thoughts must have communicated to him, for Alex kissed her as if he would never let her go, making the world- whirl giddily round her until there was nothing left but the demanding sensuousness of his mouth, the need to hold herself ever closer to his lean hardness.
The sound of their names being called penetrated to Sara's ears at last and she rather 'dizzily tried to free herself, Alex immediately polled her back and started to kiss her neck her eyes. 'No, stay here,' he ordered thickly, his breathing ragged.
'But someone's calling us. It must be Richard.'
He straightened at once, pushing his hair back from his forehead, then taking her hand to lead her towards the front of the hospital where Richard was looking for them…
He caught sight of them and came running across the tarmac excitedly. 'It's all right. The doctor says Nicky's past the danger point. She isn't going to lose the baby!'
And somehow they were all standing there, laughing and crying, hugging one another with happiness in the middle of the hospital courtyard at four o'clock in the morning. -
'They let me see her for a minute when she came round, but she's asleep now. But we can all come back tomorrow.' Richard was almost babbling in his delight and relief.
'In that case I think we'd better take you home so that you can get some sleep.' Alex remarked as he shepherded them towards the car.
They dropped Richard off and then drove through the quiet streets just as the first pink streaks of dawn began to appear in the sky.
'Your place or mine?' Alex asked, an amused glint in his eyes.
Sara laughed. 'Oh, no. If we're going to get married, then we'll do the thing properly. Besides, it'll pay you back for what you did to me.'
'Hoist with my own petard,' Alex said with a rueful grin.
'We ought to send Nicky some flowers,' Sara suggested.
'Mm. I'll phone up the office and leave a message on the recorder for my secretary to do it as soon as she comes in. Then Nicky should find the flowers when she wakes up.’
'That would be lovely,' Sara agreed. After a moment she added casually, 'Your secretary—what's she like?'
'Oh, she's twenty-two, with red hair and a fantastic figure, and boy, is she fast! Her typing and shorthand speeds are phenomenal,' Alex added, after a significant pause, as they pulled up outside her flat.
'Oh!' Sara said rather hollowly. 'She sounds too good to be true.'
'She is,' Alex replied mockingly. 'She's really forty-five and married. But it was worth making her up to hear that note of jealousy in your voice.'
'Jealousy!' Sara exclaimed indignantly. 'Of course I'm not I' Alex leant over her to undo her safety strap and his lips just happened to touch the curve of her chin and went on to explore the hollows of her cheeks, the lobe of her ear. She gave a little moaning sound and said weakly, 'Well, perhaps just the tiniest bit jealous.'
He laughed softly, his mouth against her neck, and said happily, 'You know, Sara, I'm going to make a female chauvinist of you yet!'
Sally Wentworth - Liberated Lady Page 16