She walked past me to stage left where I had just come from. I could hear her heels clicking on the hard wooden surface of the stage. She came back and wrapped a towel around my shoulders. “You need to warm up child. Those fingers have been resting a long time.”
I nodded, my teeth still clinking together unwillingly from the cold. “Yes ma'am.”
She took her finger and put it underneath my chin lifting my eyes up to hers. They were cool gray color and the wrinkles around them told me of her years of wisdom of show business. “You still play.”
I pulled back, “Not for years.”
One side of her mouth lifted up in a smile, “He still thinks you play. Every time it rains like this he comes.”
I was shocked, “Who comes?”
She turned away and began walking off stage right, “You'll see.”
I wanted to chase after her and ask her more questions about Blake, about how long he had been coming here or when the last time was. But instead I was drawn to the piano. It was like an addiction, and I needed more.
I walked over to the side of the stage and walked down the stairs into the orchestra pit. I pulled the towel tighter around me as I sat on the bench and let my hands find their place on the keys. I only pressed a few at first, trying to remind my hands of how it felt to play. But they didn't need any reminding. Within seconds I found myself playing one of Bach's most famous concertos. And as the towel fell from around my shoulders I let my fingers work out their frustrations that they had held in them for so many years. My body blamed me for what my heart hadn't allowed myself to do. I was meant to play. It was as easy as breathing, and I never should've stopped.
I played as the emotions and disappointment of the past three years pushed out of me. I had done this to myself. As I played my tears fell onto the ivories. It was like I had found an old friend after years of being apart, but the conversation flowed so easily between us.
I felt a presence behind me and I spun around hoping to see Blake standing on the stage with that old blanket. But when I turned the stage was empty. I stared into the shadows behind the curtains but the movement could have been from the wind coming from outside. Or the owner could be lurking listening to my music. It would have been a beautiful moment had this been where Blake and I reconnected but life didn’t always work that way. Right before I sat back down to continue playing I swore I saw the curtains move behind the stage but when I shielded my eyes from the bright lights of the stage to get a better view I couldn't see anyone behind them. It wasn't my mind playing tricks, it was my heart. I sat and I played until the drumming of the rain slowed and stopped. I closed the piano. It’s silence felt freeing, like I had finally told the world all of my secrets. I picked up the towel from the floor, folded it neatly, and laid it on the edge of the stage. But just as I was about to leave the owner once again came out of the darkness to see me.
“He didn't come.” I was crushed, for some reason I thought that this could have been the moment that we would've found each other again. Realized that we still cared for each other on the light of the stage where we had spent so many days together. I thought about how I had just cried all over the keys of the grandbaby piano, allowing it to absorb my pain. That's what music had always done for me, it had fixed my whole world. Things started going wrong when I turned my back on it, and when I turned my back on Blake. She just looked at me blankly. So I repeated myself, “He didn't come. You said that he comes, but he didn't.” I turned on my heel and began to run again. Running away was something I was good at.
But she called after me, “The boy?” I stopped so suddenly I almost slipped on the wood from my wet sneakers.
My head jerked around. “Yes. The boy. The boy didn't come. He doesn't love me.” I could feel the tears once again rising in my chest like waves cascading on a beach. They would fall out of me in any moment.
“You only see what you want to see.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“He was here. He was here and he watched you play.”
My breath caught in my chest. The shadow behind the curtains wasn't her, it was him. “Are you sure?” I choked out.
She simply nodded and turned and walked away. Her shawl billowing behind her as she crossed the stage. I checked my body for my phone but realized that I left the back of the house. Hope rose in my chest as I sprinted out the back door of the theater into the cloudy day. I avoided as many puddles as I could as I sped back home. My chest hurt as I ran but I had to know if he'd been there, I had to call him. My heart pounded in my rib cage and I fought for air but just as I rounded the corner to my house something else struck me. Mackenzie was outside on the stoop sitting with her phone in her hands. I realized I hadn't told her where I went, and maybe she was worried. When I arrived to my father's yard she stood up with a solemn look on her face. “We need to talk.”
I put my hands on my knees and tried to increase my airflow in my body. In through my nose and out through my mouth. “What?”
“I don't even know how to say this.”
I stood up, “Then just say it.” I got out between labored breaths.
She sighed, “Charity's pregnant.”
My mouth dropped open and I practically fell over. My worst nightmare. My father had finally decided to replace us. Suddenly my love affair seemed small and insignificant. Mackenzie's eyes were filled with tears. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, “She just told me.”
“But why wouldn't they just tell us together? Why you by yourself?”
She shrugged, “Charity and I have been spending some time together since that day at the bridal shop. I guess she and dad thought that I was, I don't know, part of the family or something. Do you think this is the only reason they're getting married?”
I wasn't sure. And I didn't know how to tell her that. “I don't know Kenz. But why don't we go inside and you order one of those ridiculous movies and we sit and eat over it.” I also considered that I would be drinking while eating but she couldn't do that yet. She still looked sad but she nodded and I put my hand around her shoulder as we walked in together. We went straight upstairs to her room and after I changed we watched that movie about the sparkly vampires and we laughed at their ridiculous behavior. My phone sat next to me the whole night, but I didn't call Blake. That night was reserved for my sister. Not for me.
4
I squeezed into the little black dress and had Mackenzie zipper me up. Looking at myself in the mirror I had to buy a new strapless bra to make it work but I looked awesome. Mackenzie stood next to me looking just as nice and I could hear Charity’s sister clunking around in the other room as she put on hers. Charity had wanted us all to try them on before we left for the rehearsal dinner just make sure that we would look good at standing next to each other up at the altar. No one had talked about the pregnancy and I definitely wasn't ready to. So for now we just ignored it. Everyone had a smile plastered on their face even though at least two of us were dying inside. And by the look on Charity sister's face she wasn’t extremely happy to be there either. She was also five years older than Charity and hadn’t married or had any kids of her own. I could tell the cat lady label was going to be attached to her very shortly.
As we stood on the landing and Charity assessed us coming down the stairs and my dad stood smiling in the entry way. I wanted to say something to him, I wanted to tell him that even though the woman who split up my family was pregnant that I was playing piano again. I wanted to tell him that I was okay even if I wasn't okay with his choices. I hadn't told anybody about the theater yet, it would come with time. Maybe I would even start taking lessons again, or enter the music program as a minor for my senior year. It would make me happy. And for now that's all that mattered, my happiness.
“You all look fabulous. You girls are right black is totally in for weddings. I saw in my bridal magazine and thought I already knew that. Oh I just can't wait for everyone to see you!” She clapped her hands together lightly j
ust beneath her chin. She was practically glowing her smile was so big.
“Okay now you three run up and change for the rehearsal dinner, we have to be there in half an hour. Your father and I are going to meet you two at the restaurant and Leslie's going ride without us. Give the sisters a little alone time.”
I couldn't tell if she meant her and her sister or me and mine but either way I was fine with not riding to the restaurant with them. Charity didn't find it necessary to have an actual rehearsal which shocked the hell out of me, but I was going to just go eat the food. Mackenzie put on the lilac dress that she had packed specifically for the occasion and I had a bright indigo one that had one strap just off the shoulder and sat above my knee. Both our dresses were very simple but because they were bright colors we stood out among the crowd of thirty people at the Italian restaurant where they had booked a room. The whole event was catered and people stood around and talked while others sat at small tables indulging in the amazing food.
I sat alone twirling pasta on my fork. Kenz bounced up behind me. Her mood had greatly improved since the other day.
“So then no date?”
“Nah Kenz, I'm flying solo tonight. Just us girls.” I tried to plaster a smile on my face but she could see right through it.
“I'm sorry Lena.” She placed her hand on my back to comfort me.
“Yeah me too.” I whispered staring once again at my plate.
I was alone and it was entirely my fault.
She squinted at me. “No Blake either?”
“Haven’t exactly come up with a solution there yet.”
“So there’s still hope?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
He hadn’t called after the theater. So I wasn’t sure there was.
We sat at the tables pretty much the entire dinner. It's not that we were avoiding the guests. Mackenzie and I didn't really know anybody. It was clear that many of the people were family members of Charity’s. Her mother looked just like her only twenty years older and her older sister Leslie we had met at the house also had similar features. She was kind of bitter and jaded. I saw her eat multiple slices of cake, but I'm definitely not one to judge. I was doing my own carb-load.
We were almost done with the dinner when Charity announced they would be doing toasts.
“Did you prep something?” I looked at Mackenzie.
“No! You?”
I shook my head.
“Bathroom?”
I grabbed my glass of wine. “I need air.”
She smiled and whispered to me. “Call him.”
I grabbed my phone and decided she was right. It was time to do something about it. But what happened next I hadn’t been expecting. I rounded the dark corner that connected the catering room with the rest of the restaurant and I ran smack into Harli.
“I'm surprised to see you here.”
The shock was written all over my face, I didn’t have to respond. Blake walked up behind her a moment later.
“Hi, I was actually just about to call you.”
Harli moved directly between us. “And why would you do that? I mean you guys aren't even that close. You didn't even know about Slade being in rehab.”
She was defensive and I was not going to back down. I had probably had a bit too much to drink, but they say the truth comes out with alcohol. “Actually I've talked to Slade since he’s been in rehab, but I'm not here to talk to you. I just want to talk to Blake.”
Her eyes became slits, “Well see I have a problem with that.”
Blake tried to intervene, “Harli it’s okay.”
She put her hands, “It is not okay. You are here on a date with me. She needs to get over you.” She turned back to me, “So stop calling, stop texting, and get the hell out of my way.”
People from the restaurant could hear our interaction and had started to gawk. Once again my drama was on display for everyone to see. “Maybe we should take this out to the parking lot.”
Harli stood up straighter, “Maybe we should.”
When we got outside I set my wine glass down on the rocks near the gazebo. It was a perfect summer night and I could hear the waves crashing just one block over.
I faced Harli like my worst enemy. Part of me wanted to hold my glass, to dump it on her. But I wouldn’t waste the good wine.
She stomped outside and came too close to my face.
“Get out of my face.” I wanted to spit on her. I knew it would be gross, but I wanted to do that more than anything. Teach her a lesson.
She didn't move. “Why? Just so you can mess with Blake some more? You know some of us are a little tired of your shit Lena.”
“Back up Harli. I only wanted to talk to Blake. Nothing else.”
She rolled her eyes. “It starts with a conversation. Then it's always more.”
I swirled the spit in my mouth and swallowed it. She was right. I did want more.
“So what if I do? You think I won’t fight for him?”
She stepped even closer. Spit party of one coming right up. But just as I was about to slug her Blake pulled her away.
“Harli get in the car.”
She crossed her arms and stomped her foot like a child, “But Blake!”
Blake crossed his own arms, “I said get in the damn car. Now go.”
She looked over she should as she stomped away. “Slut.”
Big mistake. Big fucking mistake.
I dodged Blake as he tried to grab me and I latched onto her hair. I yanked down hard and it took only once to knock her on her ass. She sat on the rocks amazed and shocked. I stood over her. My very first girl fight and I had won.
“Lena, what the hell? Since when do you fight?”
“She called me a slut Blake!”
Blake shook his head at me while he picked her up and took her to the car. When he came back he looked stern, and angry. “I got your text.”
I nodded, “And?”
“I saw you playing the piano.”
I couldn't breathe, “So you were there! Why didn't you tell me? Why have you said nothing to me?”
“I have Harli now.” I could see the pain in his eyes. He may have been with her but there was definitely a part of him who still wanted me.
“And? I was with Micah but I broke it off for you.”
He looked at me incredulously, “You did? I didn’t ask you to do that.”
I nodded. “It wasn't fair to him. When I still care about you.”
“But all these years…”
I shrugged, “All these years I was hiding my feelings for you. I don't even think I knew it myself. But I'm telling you now Blake, I miss you so bad it hurts. And I know I don't deserve another chance but I’m desperate to try again. Don’t you want to try?”
I waited for a response but he just stood there. His silence told me everything I needed to know. As I watched the hurt in his eyes my heart broke for what could've been. So I did the thing that I do best and I ran. I heard him calling after me but I couldn't stop, and if he wanted to chase me he would have. But instead I found myself sitting on the beach in the dark alone. I sat on the sand crying, the blue fabric swirling around me like my secrets once had. I thought the truth would set me free, instead it swam around me threatening to drown me with every breath.
5
The next morning I climbed into bed with Mackenzie early and we snuggled together for a while before it was time to get up. Hair dressers and makeup artists were coming to the house to prepare us for the big day. The ceremony was in a church, but the reception was outside and Charity wanted to be sure our hair would be perfect for pictures. I knew that meant one thing, lots of hair spray.
I looked out the window and saw the sun shining. The storm from the other day long forgotten. But the drama in my life wasn’t, neither were the broken pieces of my heart. But I tried to ignore that, I would have to go at it alone. Blake had made his choice and I had made mine. I would be happy regardless of what happened between us. Even though it hu
rt to breathe, I thought that time would make things easier for me. I told Mackenzie to wake up but I gave her a few more minutes and went downstairs to make myself some coffee. My dad was sitting at the kitchen table. I realized that we hadn't really spoken very much since my arrival, and that was probably partially my fault.
“Hi Dad.”
He set down his paper and held up his coffee mug to me, “Just made a fresh pot. You're welcome to it.”
“Hazelnut? My favorite.”
I filled up the mug and sat down at the kitchen table across from him. He hadn't brought any of the furniture from the old house here so we were sitting on barstools and modern table that didn't quite fit the rest of the house. “This table is weird. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the house.” I commented.
He laughed, “It's the one piece of furniture I got to pick out.”
I smiled at him, “I should've known. You always did like darker furniture. But really it's the only thing that you got to pick out?”
“Well this and all my office furniture. There is a Lazy Boy in there, but don’t tell Charity. Her designer wouldn't really like the faux leather.”
I nodded, “I bet she wouldn't.”
He looked around, “But I think this house has really come together. It feels like home.” He paused for a moment, “To me at least. I know that this will never be home to you and your sister.”
I sat down my mug. “That's okay though dad. It's not our home. It's yours and Charity’s and the baby’s.” I put emphasis on the last word and I watched as his face went pale.
“Charity told you to?”
“Kenz spilled it to me.”
He shook his head, “I didn't think we were telling anyone until she was further along, and definitely not before the wedding. Her family is pretty religious.”
“Yeah but Dad she’s in her thirties, and you've been living together for like two years. They have to have known something was going on. I mean really who cares? We all make our own choices.”
I didn't know when I had suddenly become so nonchalant but it was like it didn't matter to me that Charity was pregnant. I didn't feel replaced anymore, this wasn't my home. And Charity’s little bundle of joy would grow up here and live their life. And she would be my stepmother and Dad would still be my dad. Things weren’t changing as much as I made them out to be, and yes I had a bit of flair for the dramatic. He didn't say anything for a while but took another sip from his hot coffee. I could see the steam still rising from the mug. Finally he set it down and held it between his hands. “You know I never meant to hurt you girls. Or your mother either. And as much as she blames me for the divorce, she was ready to get out too.”
Interception (Finnegan Brothers Book 4) Page 2