He paused and looked around the room. Both Jasons nodded back, and one held up a hand in agreement. The two were far more different than he and Yi Two, but they both, alone among them, hated the Next. Katherine looked like she was about to close her eyes again, which told him nothing of her response. Chrystal looked thoughtful, and said, “You know they’re listening.”
“They are always listening,” he said. “But I don’t choose to be afraid of them.”
None of them reacted.
He didn’t like the awkward silence. They were in danger of losing each other, even though they were—in some ways—each other. Were becoming that, anyway. He had spent so much time inside of each of their experiences that he felt a little like them all, and it surprised him that they didn’t seem to be following him more closely. “Being able to meld into and out of each other is a becoming, it’s a way of growing. But we’re still only doing what we’re told. We aren’t acting as if we can think for ourselves. We are not Next. Not yet. Maybe never. I’m proposing that we leave Nexity and we go out into the world of humans—however dangerous it is—and we take actions that help the people of Lym protect their planet from the Shining Revolution.”
There, that was what had been brewing inside of him for some time.
Both Jasons stood up. “We will go.”
Chrystal joined, naked. The blue and green dragon tattoo that ran from her neck down to her hips glittered in the bright interior light.
Yi Two looked up at her, his face registering a slight dismay. “One of you was killed by humans,” he said to her, as if she didn’t know it.
She looked down at him. “I would like to see Nona, and she cannot come here.”
“Besides, you don’t have permission to go to Manna Springs.”
“Are you going to Manna Springs?” she asked.
Yi smiled. “No. But we have no permission to take you anywhere.”
“The Next will not be able to give you permission. They might not mind if you go.”
“It’s a risk,” Yi Two snapped. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Perhaps,” she said. “But I am tired of this glowing city and its dark secrets.” She rolled her eyes. “And yes, Jhailing or whoever is listening, that is how I feel.”
In some ways, Chrystal had always been more of a rebel than Jason. So now Yi had to hope he hadn’t started something more than he meant to.
Katherine didn’t stand or even move much, but she looked over at Chrystal and said, “I like my work. I will stay, at least for now. Please stay safe.”
Chrystal came over to Katherine and sat beside her, also in a yoga pose. All poses were easy in these bodies, and the two of them looked very natural. They had been the first pair of the family, and it was through them that Jason, and then eventually and last, Yi, had been invited to become part of it. What if one of them were lost? Or more?
“Charlie does not want us to go with him, but Jason and I visited a place I want to explore more. We’ll go there.”
“Will Nona be there?” Chrystal asked.
“Perhaps, eventually. I can’t speak for her.”
“Of course you can’t.”
Yi Two would stay. He didn’t have to say it for everyone to know. Yi had another question to ask out loud. “Should a Jason stay?”
Jason held a hand out to Jason, and Yi Two took a hand, and they all came together slowly, like the first moves in a dance, until they sat in one large circle on the floor, hands still linked for a moment and then dropped. Yi felt warm, sweet. Anticipatory. This was the family he had chosen years ago. Here they were changed more than he could have ever imagined and yet together. It was not his work to keep them that way any more than it was all of their work, but he had taught them to become as close as they were about to, to become almost one being, to live inside of each other’s selves as if they shared a skin.
Yi Two took the lead, starting a chant out loud and then taking it internal. Sounds. Just sounds. A way for them all to anchor on the same thing.
It made him shiver. Not physically, of course. He no longer grew cold easily. But it was the same thrill, the same feeling of being right at the edge of falling away from his own ego and into a completely vulnerable place.
At first, as always, he heard his own thoughts. Then he heard Yi Two, then a Jason, then the quiet encouragement of gentle Katherine.
Each began as separate strands, which wove together into a soft network of thoughts until he could distinguish his own only if he chose to.
He loved to hear their deep and slow robotic feelings. Jason’s angers became Yi’s angers. Katherine’s calm became Jason’s calm.
They began to come together on the specific topic at hand.
Neither of us wants to stay we want to see the world outside of Nexity one of us has but it’s not fair what if both are killed would we rebalance how much danger is there could two of us be useful out there we both want to meet Losianna are you certain the cave needs to be explored what can we learn so far away will Katherine and Yi Two be okay without me they are balanced are we maybe would prefer to keep one the other can go if needed how will we know by seeking long distance can so much be overcome yes it is agreed who will stay the one who has always stayed okay but call for me and we all agree.
Once they reached agreement, they all chose to stay in the braid and to float in each other, to accept and love and hope with each other.
We are alive now still dreaming singing speaking of being alive if you speak of life you have it and we are only a little like we were one and many one and two such space of remembrance.
They would not be able to do this again until they came back together.
It took a very long time to separate.
Yi felt content and vaguely frightened. He had not been even a little frightened for a very long time, and it set all of his senses alight so that he heard everything anyone said in silence or out loud and the scrape of feet and the rustling as Chrystal searched for clothes.
It felt good to make their own choices.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHARLIE
Except for Gerry, Charlie had been by himself for the two weeks since he left Hope. After only one day wandering the empty station alone, he had started back to work. Regardless of who was shooting at him, Lym needed its rangers and Lym’s creatures needed to be watched over. He sent the day’s itinerary to his skimmer, climbed in, ran through his startup sequence, and felt the skimmer hum to life under his feet. He nudged it up and away, over the station fence, and turned toward the ocean.
Ragged Beach was aptly named: a long line of sand broken by protruding rocky promontories and jagged cliffs and, here and there, wild jetties of teardrop islands in long strings. Mostly he flew high over it, avoiding the periodic strange wind-eddies near the rocky shore. Even though most of the beaches were pebbles, here and there bright sand or black sand beckoned in smooth, inviting patches.
He recorded animal sightings every few minutes. Rock goats with kids, playing on the edges of a scarp he was sure he couldn’t climb. He spotted two species of raptors and a mated pair of nightmeals, carrion-eaters with beautiful black-on-black wings. After an hour, he set the skimmer to long, low circles while he counted a school of rainbow fish. Only fifteen minutes later, he spun in slow circles above a family of shelled swimmers twice his size, called pilongs. They had long heads that rose like snakes out of the water and wide, flat flippers. He spotted five of them together and flew low enough to take multiple pictures. When he sent one back to Gerry, she gave him a thumbs-up sign.
They had done so much here. Lym thrived. But already, before it was entirely healthy again, before it was wild enough to live without daily care, it faced risks he couldn’t mitigate.
The forest proved uninteresting and completely normal, which pleased him to no end. The rakuls had moved on, or remained hidden. Still, it left him feeling as if he had done some good and was back in a proper relationship with the planet. After he parked, he hummed
to himself as he walked up the path to the dispatch station.
The door opened, and Cricket came tumbling out, greeting him enthusiastically. Sometimes he took her with him, but she seemed to have as much fun keeping Gerry company as going with him. He scratched her behind the ear, massaged her spine, and had just started working on her rump as Gerry came out. “Dinner’s ready. We have news.”
A little trill of hope filled him. “From Nona?”
She shook her head, but she looked excited. “Amfi. She’s been sending a few people out to the other gleaner bands, collecting information. I’ll tell you what she found after you sit down.”
He laughed, washed his hands, and found two of the work tables had been set with steaming bowls of fresh vegetable stew and seeded muffins. “Did you make these today?”
“I did. Enough for visitors.”
He sipped at the soup. “Peppery. It’s fabulous. Who’s coming?”
“Two of the rangers are coming back. Alinnia and Susan. They’re done with Kyle.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow morning. The soup will be best tomorrow.”
He smiled at Gerry wanting to be sure the two women rangers knew she could cook before they got back. A piece of normalcy in a crazy time. “That’s great news. But what does that have to do with the gleaners?”
“Nothing. Here it is, though: Amfi says that they’ve found a whole base on Entare. Near Palat, but not near enough that it’s visible from there. A fucking base. She says ships go up and down from there. It’s not Next, she says. It’s people from the Glittering. But they can only be coming because of the Next.”
“How would . . .” He stopped with his empty spoon in the air. “The Port Authority has to know. They’re allowing it.”
“Maybe Desert Bow Station? Jean Paul. I need to get to Jean Paul. He might know some of this.”
“You haven’t seen him since the night Kyle tried to kill Amfi, have you?”
“Once.” He allowed himself a few bites of soup so it wouldn’t get cold. “He came to Hope once. He wanted to be sure I was okay. He said he’s trapped at the port, and will come back as soon as he can. I guess I just took that at face value.”
“Would he join a fight against the Next?”
“No.” Charlie dipped a piece of muffin in the stew. “Maybe he’s in town.”
She gave him a sharp look. “Manna Springs isn’t safe for you yet.”
“Alinnia or Susan could go.”
“I don’t think they’re coming in here just to take orders.”
He laughed. “I’ll think of something.”
She made an exaggerated, severe face at him. “Finish your dinner first.”
“Yes ma’am. At your service.”
After he finished putting away the dishes, Charlie walked Cricket under a black blanket of sky scattered with stars and stations. “I don’t know, girl,” he told her, “but I think that there’s more lights up there. That can’t be good.”
The tongat looked up at him briefly and mildly, as if to say, “So what? Right now, right here, it’s just us two, and we’re everything we will ever need.”
He grinned at her and went on talking as if she had said it out loud. “If we don’t do something, it won’t be just us. So we have to, girl.”
Cricket sensed some small animal rustling in the bushes and pricked her ears.
“That’s the difference between me and you,” he said. “You’re blessed lucky enough to live in the moment.”
She glanced at him.
“Go,” he whispered, giving her a signal to chase.
She leapt away.
He stared up at the lights, wondering which were friend and which were foe. Maybe Lym didn’t have any friends anymore.
When Cricket returned to his side, still slightly excited, he told her, “Time to go.” As far as he could tell, whatever had attracted her attention had managed to hide; there was no blood, fur, or feathers stuck in her mouth.
Twenty minutes later he had sweet-talked Gerry back to the rooms he shared with Jean-Paul so she could sit by the fire. Since he’d come back, her hair was clean and combed and she’d managed to find time to wash her uniforms and get enough sleep so the gaunt, frightened look had left her face.
He finished building up his stack of wood and told the stove to start it up. He watched, always pleased as the punk and then the kindling and then the smaller of the branches caught.
He called Nona, leaving a message.
About half an hour later, she called back. He put her onto a video screen so that Gerry could share in the conversation.
Nona wore casual pants and a baggy sweater and looked like she might be almost ready for bed. She had initiated the call from her formal desk, which was clean of anything at all except a cup of tea. She smiled when she saw the connection come up. “You’re in my favorite room.”
He laughed. “That’s so that you remember it and come out here when you can.”
“If I went out there, people would notice you’re there.”
“Someday it won’t matter. Maybe someday soon.”
“Do you think so?”
He shrugged. “How do I know? But everything feels about as stable as a rock on the edge of an eroding cliff right now.”
“Like it might all blow up?”
“What are you learning?”
She sighed. “Not much. Something’s up for sure—there’s more encoded traffic, but none of my programs can break it, not even the stuff Satyana’s been sending me. I saw three strangers in town today. That’s more than I’ve seen all week. But I can’t get a good handle on it.”
They were fairly sure the connection between them was secure. “Do you know anyone at the Port Authority?”
“I had some drinks with that woman who warned us on the first day—Farro. She didn’t say much about anything important, although she was nice. She made it clear that everyone who works for the Port is really busy, and she seemed to be pretty proud of being that busy. I was afraid to ask her any direct questions, since I didn’t want to scare her off. Next time.”
“Have you see Jean Paul?”
“Farro said he can’t leave.”
“Speaking of leaving or not, any chance of you visiting here soon?”
She looked wistful. “The next three days are already packed with meetings. I do have permission to visit Manny, though.”
That gave him pause. “Permission from who?”
“From the twins who run this place. Jules and Amanda. I did them a favor and had a case of chocolate stim brought down. It cost a fortune, but it gave me permission to go to Hope for a day.”
“Clever.”
She sighed. “Not really. After they gave me permission, they sent me a letter for Manny. So I think I could have saved the chocolate.”
“Do you know what’s in the letter?”
“It’s sealed.”
He stood up and poked at the fire, bringing it higher and brighter. “But afterward, you’ll come up here? Or we can meet by a waterfall somewhere?”
Her face softened, and she leaned in toward the camera. “Let’s go to the falls you showed me on the first day, the one where it was too cold for me.”
He remembered that. He’d taken her to a place where stream after steam freed itself from a glacier and flowed joyously toward rivers and the sea. He could fly her down to see the rock pools they created as well. It was a very, very private place. “Deal. And you won’t even have to bring me chocolate.”
“That’s good. I don’t have much left. Next shipment. But I am thinking of getting out and touring some. Going and seeing what’s happening on the farms.” She looked hopeful. “Maybe you can meet me?”
“I think I can free myself for a few days.”
They made small talk until it became awkward, which didn’t take all that long with Gerry there listening. In spite of the company, he said, “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
It was harder to have her
here and yet not with him than it had been for her to be on the Diamond Deep.
CHAPTER THIRTY
YI
Yi sat beside the beach again, waiting again.
He had told the Jhailing that they were leaving, and the Jhailing had asked him to come and talk. He didn’t mind; he feared the ocean, but it also held a deep fascination for him. Waves rolled in, hesitating briefly at the shield but continuing, rolling, rolling. They must have rolled in forever on this beach, years and years and decades and centuries of waves. Each had its own small raw power. Yet wave on wave on wave transformed coastlines.
The beach was a wonderful place to turn up his senses, to hear the susurrations and wash and backwash of foam, the moment that water crashed upon water as a wave curled to breaking, the call and reply of birds, the rattle of small, smooth stones, the breaking of bubbles in the sand after a wave receded.
He had heard the waves here sometimes swelled to four meters in fall storms, but there hadn’t been any so far this year. He wanted to be here when one came in, to stand on the beach and hear the waves boom into the shore.
The Jhailing spoke to him before he could see it. Thank you for coming.
It had not sounded like a casual invitation. Thank you. I trust you were not damaged in the attack?
Not at all.
Yi wanted that. To be even more free than he was becoming, to live even if a body failed, to live risk free. You are not angry that we are leaving?
It came and sat beside him. It had chosen to look as human as he had ever seen a Jhailing look. Its skin was still silvery and metallic, but it had sized itself to him. From a distance, they would look like two humans. You will return?
Of course. Yi looked at the being next to him, and he felt its years much the same way he had felt the sea’s history. The Jhailings and the Colorimas came from among the first Next. Perhaps they even remembered the banishment. We will be careful. We do not plan to go to Manna Springs.
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