by Howe, Violet
“Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?” Her voice bubbled over the top with enthusiasm.
“What? What? What?” I asked with no enthusiasm at all.
“It’s happening. We did it! We actually did it!”
“What are you talking about, Charlotte?”
“The mermaid wedding! I told the lady to call Weekiwachee like you said, and she did. She called me back just now and said Weekiwachee is willing to let her have the wedding there. Underwater. So now she needs you to get the contracts or whatever it is that we do next. She wanted to come in and meet me, but I told her she’d need to work with you. I mean, I said I’d help out, of course. I can, right? I can help, right?”
“Slow down the horse and cart, Nelly! What are you talking about?”
“Remember? Two weeks ago this lady called and wanted to do an underwater wedding dressed as a mermaid? But you said we don’t have any places to do that and you told me to have her call Weekiwachee? And you’re not going to believe this, but remember you said those weren’t real mermaids? You were right. It turns out it’s just regular people like you and me except they train to hold their breath for, like, a really long time. They’re gonna train this bride. Isn’t this exciting?”
“Wait. Whoa. Someone wants us to do a mermaid wedding up in Weekiwachee? Are you serious? I told you to tell her we couldn’t do her wedding.”
“No, you told me we didn’t have a place to do it, and then you suggested a place for her to call. So now we’re good to go. I can help, right?”
I buried my head in my hands and cursed myself for not taking the time to deal with this when the call came in. Now I’m doing a mermaid wedding underwater.
Just when I think I’ve seen it all, another crazy bride shows up and proves it’s a never-ending parade.
Saturday, September 6th
My morning wedding was done by one, so I headed over to help Mel with her ceremony and reception before visiting Lillian at her late-night dessert party.
“So are you definitely doing a winter theme?” Mel asked as we waited for her reception to begin.
I nodded. “Yeah. As much as I can call it a theme with my mother involved. It’s probably going to look more like a flea market grouping. Let’s say I want a winter theme. What I get might be another story. For some reason, I’m liking snowflakes. I found some invitations with a snowflake on vellum over a purple background, then you lift the snowflake up and details are in silver on the purple. Mama’s stroking that I’m sending out invitations. She wanted to put an ad in the paper and a picture of me and Cabe with a notice that said ‘friends and family of the bride and groom are invited to attend via this medium.’ I told her I didn’t want half the county in attendance.”
“Do people do that?”
“All the time.”
“But how do you know how many will come? How do you prepare food or plan seating?”
I laughed. “Potluck and lots of folding chairs.”
“Nice. I’m thinking you’re right to go with invitations. Know what you’re getting. You’re sticking with the purple then?”
“Yeah. We both really like purple, and I think it goes well with the white and silver winter wonderland look.”
“You gonna do a purple wedding dress?”
Memories of a tattooed derriere floated in front of my eyes and I shuddered. “Uh, no. Definitely not.”
“Oh come on,” Mel teased. “You could do a purple veil and maybe put some snowflakes on it. You could buy some glittery snowflake Christmas ornaments and hot glue them to the skirt and the train.”
“As fabulous as that sounds, I’m gonna pass.”
She laughed. “Have you found a dress yet?”
“I haven’t had time to go look. Considering I don’t have another day off for like six weeks, I was thinking maybe you and I might go one night after work. When are you available?”
“Any night Paul is watching car shows on TV. So basically, any night! Don’t you want to go with your mama though?”
I drew back and looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “Lord, no! Are you crazy? My mother and I have vastly different tastes in clothing. I could never shop with her for school clothes or prom or anything. My wedding? No, thanks!”
“What about your sisters?”
“I’d love to have them with me, and I’m sure they’d love to be there, but logistically, it’s not possible. I don’t want to shop for a dress up there and have to go there for fittings and stuff. Plus, there’s such a wider selection here, and I know all the seamstresses and shops. I figured I’d just take my matron of honor with me to get a feel for what’s out there. Make a fun evening of it. Then maybe once I narrowed it down, I could show my sisters and Mama and maybe let them cast a vote or something.”
Mel scrunched her nose and forehead in confusion and looked at me. “Who’s your matron of honor?”
“Well, I was hoping you’d be!”
“Oh my gosh! Oh wow!” she shrieked, which caught the attention of everyone in the convention center hallway. She then grasped both my arms and hopped up and down as she giggled, which definitely got her some more quizzical looks. “Are you serious? Are you asking me? Are you sure?”
I laughed along with her and nodded. “Yep? Will you be my matron?”
“I’ve never been a maid of honor before, or a matron. Sounds so old, doesn’t it? Can’t we just tell people I’m the maid of honor? Most people don’t know the difference anyway.”
“You can give yourself whatever title you’d like.”
“Oh, I’ll have to think about that.”
“You’ve got a little over two months to come up with it. But right now, we have to get your reception underway so I can go help Lillian with dessert.”
Many hours later, I was leaving Lillian’s event and hobbling on the pins and needles in my feet.
“What time are you back tomorrow?” Lillian walked alongside me without any indication of the number of hours she’d been on her feet. I don’t know if her feet went completely numb years ago or if she hides the pain like a Spartan warrior.
“I told Laura I’d check her reception since she needs to be at the ceremony and Charlotte can’t go unsupervised.”
“Useless twit,” Lillian said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know why Laura insists on keeping her. We’re not a charity.”
“She’s been doing a little better,” I said with a smile, though in reality I agreed with Lillian wholeheartedly.
“Oh yes. She’s done splendid. She told someone on the phone they could have a reception in the chapel at Lakeside if they brought their own food, and I’m sure you heard that she broke one of Mel’s toasting glasses last weekend.”
“Hey, at least she unwrapped the glasses. That’s progress.”
We reached our cars and were about to get in and go our separate ways when she turned to me. “I don’t think I’ve said congratulations.”
She had not. Though there had been several conversations at work regarding my ring, my wedding, the date I’d set. She’d never spoken up or acknowledged it in any way.
She looked at me for a moment, and the expression in her eyes saddened me. It was wistful. Like she was remembering something painful. Something far away. Then she focused again and fixed her eyes directly into mine.
“Be happy. Be in love and rejoice in all it has to offer. But do not ever lose yourself to it. You cannot ever fully depend on any other person. They’re flawed. We all are. I know I’ve told you this before, but people look out for their own best interests. In a marriage, you must look out for each other. Care for one another. But don’t ever forget to take care of yourself. To protect yourself. Congratulations, Tyler. I wish a lifetime of happiness for you and Cabe both.”
With that, she drove away into the night.
Monday, September 8th
Labor Day
I hobbled into the house on numb feet after participating in some way in seven weddings over four days. I swear whoever came
up with the idea of women wearing heels had to be a master of torture devices.
My wonderful fiancé, who had spent the day relaxing and surfing at the beach, greeted me at the door with a Pina Colada. My surfer boy was shirtless, tanned beyond belief, and sporting some sexy tousled beach curls. It’s a testament to how tired I was that he looked that good yet I had no desire to do anything but take a bath and sleep.
He had run a lavender bath for me and bought me the latest issue of Cosmo, and he even popped in and refilled my Pina Colada when my glass was half full.
If I hadn’t already promised to marry this man, I would have signed up tonight without question.
Mama had called twice during the day, and I let it go to voice mail both times. So as soon as the water had gotten too chilled to be comfortable and my drink had melted, I decided it was time to face the music and call her back.
When I stepped out of the tub, sharp pains shot through my heels and up into my calves. I winced and tried to step lightly, which didn’t help in the slightest.
When I’d gotten my jammies on and limped down the hallway to the couch, I settled against the pillows to call her. Cabe lifted my feet like he was going to rub them, but I waved him away in fear of the pain any physical contact would cause.
“It’s about time you called,” Mama said. “I needed you to make a decision but couldn’t get a call back, so I decided for you.”
Oh no. What on earth had been picked for me now?
“You said you wanted a winter theme, and I found some programs with snowmen on them. But Tanya said she thought you’d like the snowflakes better. I tried to call and ask you—”
“Don’t get programs! We don’t need programs. That’s a waste of money.”
She didn’t miss a beat. “—but you didn’t answer your phone. I called twice. What do you mean you don’t need programs? How on earth will people know what’s going on if you don’t have programs?”
“Weddings are pretty self-explanatory, Mama. People come in. They say the vows, do the rings, they kiss, and people go out. When have you ever been at a wedding and thought, ‘oh, I’m lost. What’s happening next?’ You don’t. I’m telling you, it’s a waste of money.”
“But it’s a keepsake. People like to keep them.”
“Tell me how many wedding programs you have in your house right now and where they are. You know what? Never mind. You’re a bad example. Ask Tanya how many wedding programs she has and where they are. People don’t pay attention to them, and they toss them out after the wedding.”
“Now’s a fine time to tell me. Why couldn’t you tell me that before I bought two hundred and fifty cards?”
“Two hundred and fifty?” I sat up and scared the crap out of Deacon who’d been sleeping at Cabe’s feet. “Why did you buy so many?”
She yelled her response in my ear so loud that me, Deacon, and Cabe all jumped. “Because you haven’t given me a number and you didn’t answer your phone.”
Deacon crawled behind Cabe’s legs and Cabe stared back at me with his eyes wide with shock.
“I was working,” I answered back with all the attitude of a fifteen-year-old called out on her behavior.
“I’ve been asking you to tell me how many people are coming since you first told me you were getting married. I’ve been working nonstop to try and pull this together on your behalf with very little input or work on your part, missy. I’m about ready to throw my hands up in the air and tell you you’re on your own.”
Oh, that I should be so lucky.
“Remember, you were sure,” Cabe whispered as he rubbed my calves where I’d draped them across his leg.
“Thanks,” I mouthed and then stuck my tongue out at him.
“Mama, I appreciate how hard you’ve been working on this. Cabe and I both appreciate it.” He nodded dramatically with his lips puckered out. “I’ve told you I’m happy to handle the planning on my own, but I know it means a lot to you to help out.”
“Help out? Name one single thing you’ve done.”
She might have a point. I hadn’t actually done a lot. Yet. I planned to do a lot. I just hadn’t gotten around to it. But I hadn’t asked her to do all she’d been doing either.
“I picked out invitations.”
“Really. Did you order those invitations? Because in order to do that, you’d need to know how many people you’re inviting.”
I moved my legs off Cabe’s lap, his well-intentioned touch too irritating in light of the conversation I was having.
She wasn’t close to being finished.
“I got a carport full of yellow stuff you’ve decided you don’t want, I can’t see my dining room table for all the silks I bought that you don’t want, and now I am the proud owner of two hundred and fifty snowflake cards that you’re saying is a waste of money. Why should I bother doing anything else?”
Now, in all fairness, I didn’t ask her to do any of that. In fact, I specifically told her not to do the yellow or the silks. But I knew good and well that Patsy Warren wasn’t gonna hear that. Just like I knew she wasn’t going to back off and let me plan my own event. So I took a deep breath and blew it out real slow and reminded myself what Cabe had said. I was sure I wanted a wedding back home even though that meant dealing with Mama.
“We can use the snowflake cards. The invitations I picked are snowflakes too, so maybe that will match somehow. Can you take a picture of them and send it to me, or maybe have Tanya take one and send it?”
“When are you gonna decide who’s invited? Folks need to make plans, Tyler. Unlike me, they don’t have nothing but time on their hands to be at your beck and call.”
I groaned and glared at Cabe. Not because he’d done anything, but just because he was there and the person I wanted to glare at was not. “Tomorrow. We’ll decide a count tomorrow.”
Cabe’s head popped up from his magazine and his eyes widened again. “Tomorrow?”
I put my hand up and turned away from him.
“Okay. I’m on hold until I have that number. I can’t do centerpieces. I can’t do programs. I can’t figure out tablecloths. So I guess maybe I might get something done in my own life while I’m waiting on you.”
“All of which I’ve asked you not to do.”
“Well, you need to get going. You’re not taking this seriously enough. People need to know. Things need to be arranged. You need to come up with who you’re inviting and how many. Stop putting it off.”
“I’m not putting it off! I’m busy. You want a count? A hundred. I don’t think it will be that many, but say a hundred. There. You have a number.”
“Does that include all your cousins?”
I almost threw the phone. “Mama, I can’t afford to invite every cousin we have. I’ll invite your brother and sisters, and Daddy’s sisters but I can’t do all the cousins.”
“I declare, Tyler. You’re gonna insult half the county if you do that.”
“That may very well be, but unless half the county wants to pay for their meal, they’re not invited.”
Mama clucked her tongue. “We’ll just have a potluck and have everybody bring a dish. Then it won’t cost you and you can invite as many as you want.”
“But I don’t want to invite the whole county. I want a small, intimate event with my closest friends and family. And it would still cost me money because of linens and centerpieces and all that goes with it. So no. I’m not inviting all those people.”
“I got you free linens you could use, and I have a carport full of silks for centerpieces. How is that gonna cost you a dime?”
It was like talking to a brick wall. No matter how many times I said the same thing, she wouldn’t listen. It was exhausting and I was already beyond exhausted from the weekend I’d just had. I was done.
“I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“I wanted to ask—”
“Mama, I’m hanging up. I can’t talk about weddings any more. I’ll call you tomorrow. Bye.”
&nbs
p; My shoulders sank as I turned to face Cabe, tears tickling the backs of my eyelids in a combination of exhaustion, frustration, irritation, and desperation.
“C’mere.” He opened his arms and enveloped me in their warmth and security. “So we need to make a list?”
I nodded and swallowed hard against the burning in my throat.
He kneaded the tight muscles between my shoulder blades and up my neck. “Okay. We can do that. Why don’t you give me a job? You know, like you gave Patsy a specific task? Give me one. Tell me what I can do to help you.”
“You’re not the problem. I don’t need you to do anything. I need Patsy to stop doing things.”
“Well, I can’t control what Patsy does or doesn’t do, but I can help you alleviate some stress on this end. Give me a job. Tell me what you want me to do.”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“Want me to handle the music? I could pick out all the songs for the ceremony and reception. Get playlists together. Would that help?”
“That would be good. Yeah. You do the music. And I need you, Dean and Danny to pick out whatever you’re going to wear and go get fitted. Once you’ve made those arrangements, let my brother know.”
“Okay. We can do that. What else?”
“I don’t know.”
He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter as I snuggled closer to him. “Why don’t you delegate some other stuff out? Put Carrie in charge of something. Or Tanya. Get someone else to deal with Patsy so it’s not all on you.”
“Thank you for being so supportive.” I leaned back to look in his eyes and smiled at the thought of being his wife. “Sure do wish we could skip all this. Just sneak away. The two of us.”
“We can.”
I stretched to kiss him, and he leaned to meet me halfway.
“We can’t,” I said when our lips parted. “We’re too far gone now. There’s no way I could tell her we’re calling the whole thing off and eloping. I should have taken you up on it when you first offered. We’d be done by now. I’d be Mrs. Cabe Shaw, and I wouldn’t be dealing with any of this.”