by Howe, Violet
“I noticed you and Oscar talking tonight,” I said with as much nonchalance as I could muster. Tanya had threatened me if I told Mama she’d blabbed, but if I could get Mama to admit it on her own, that would be different.
“What of it?” Her voice was suspicious, and her body tensed ever so slightly.
“Nothing. I just think he’s a handsome man and he seems well to do. Interesting, for sure, with all his business ventures and his background. I was thinking you should ask him out.”
“Ha,” Mama snorted. “Don’t be silly. You need to get some sleep. You gotta big day tomorrow, my baby girl. All grown up and on her way.”
She patted my back and rested her hand between my shoulders. “He makes you happy?”
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Very much so.”
“He seems to treat you well. Real fond of ya from what I can tell. Comes from a nice family, too. I was happy to meet ‘em.”
“Yes, ma’am. They are. Real nice, in fact.”
“You did good, baby. Mama’s proud of you.” I heard the crack in her voice, and it nearly did me in.
“I love you, Mama.”
“I love you, too, sugar.”
I didn’t move, and she didn’t make me. As far as the world knew, it was my last night as a single girl before I pledged my life as someone’s wife. I decided to spend it curled up in my mama’s big ole bed, snug as a bug in a rug.
Saturday, November 22nd
My Wedding Day
It was much colder this time around than the first time we got married.
That night at the lake had been perfect. Not warm, not cold, and just enough of a breeze to stir the air.
Today was colder than a witch’s brass brassiere in a blizzard.
I was so thankful Mel and I had chosen a dress with long sleeves. If I’d been in a strapless dress, I may have turned blue.
My high school friend, Kerrie, opened her salon early for us to come in for hair and make-up. She swept the left side of my hair to the back in a loose, messy braid that came around my head and back over the top, where she tucked in the ends and pinned them. Then she swept the front to the right low across my face, and started another braid that ran beneath the first one to just behind my ear, where she weaved it into the larger braid above it and pinned it with white pouf of feather and a sprig of dark purple-berry hydrangea. The rest of my hair hung in loose curls down past my shoulder on the right side. So from the left, it looked like an upswept messy braid, but the right had a Bohemian vibe with the double braids and the curls framing my face and neck. The perfect combination of my hair up, which I had wanted, and my hair down, which my husband had requested.
“Is it supposed to be all messy like that? I think she needs to spray it,” Mama said when Kerrie walked away.
I laughed. “No, Mama. It’s supposed to be messy. Tousled.”
“Are those fake?” She stepped in close and inspected the false eyelashes Kerrie had put on my upper lids.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Hmmph,” she said, as she leaned back and surveyed me from head to toe. “Something borrowed, something blue, something fake, and something new. Times, they are a’changing.”
Despite her joke, I did have all the traditional components. My dress was new. My heart necklace from Daddy was old, and Maggie had loaned me a sapphire ring to knock out both borrowed and blue.
We waited until we reached the church’s waiting room to put my dress on, but my ladies all got ready at Kerrie’s shop. I’d only asked them to choose the same deep aubergine color, but they’d all picked velvet to go with my dress as well.
Mel’s had long sleeves and a deep V-neck. She’d had sheer panels of purple sewn inside the neckline to minimize the amount of cleavage and chest she had on display. The dress was more fitted through the waist, which cinched her middle in nicely when paired with Spanx underneath, but hampered her breathing and her ability to eat. According to her.
Tanya’s was an elegant column dress with a sweetheart bodice and an attached cowl shawl that swooped low across her chest and then over her shoulders to hang loose down her back beyond her rump. If she could keep Eric and Erin from swinging on it, it would be beautiful.
Carrie’s dress was a bit edgier, as was befitting Carrie. It was form-fitting, hugging her tall, straight body. She was built like Daddy’s sisters. Tanya and I got Mama’s hips and height. Carrie’s dress was ruched down a center line from the V-neck to just below her navel. The ruching made small folds fan out from the center of her body like a starburst. It had short sleeves that were ruched from her shoulder with a bit of a pouf at the top. The dress was cut to a deep V in the front and back, filled with a sheer panel embroidered with intricate lace detail and accented with black and purple rhinestones that rose to a sheer mandarin collar trimmed in black stones.
True to form like the dancer and drama princess she was, Galen had chosen a dress with one long sleeve and one bare shoulder and arm. It fit her like a glove all the way down to just above her knees where the velvet gave way to a sheer skirt of the deepest purple that fell to her feet and pooled on the floor.
It was odd to see her mingle with my sisters and Mel. She was out of place, out of her comfort zone, and it gave me an odd satisfaction to see her act so quiet and demure.
My sisters had no idea of what all had transpired between us, but Mel knew, and I could sense her tension toward Galen every time the two of them conversed.
Laura greeted us when we arrived at the church. “I think you’re going to be pleased. Wanna take a peek?”
“Of course!” I’d been dying to see the fellowship hall all morning to see what Sandy had been able to do with the bland gymnasium space.
Laura opened the door and ushered me into my winter wonderland.
The huge rows of fluorescent lights across the ceiling weren’t being used at all. Instead, Sandy had suspended a canopy of twinkle lights to create a magical, whimsical camouflage for the industrial ceiling. She also placed can lights around the perimeter of the room to light up the walls in varying shades of purple and magenta. Each corner featured a ‘grove’ of bare trees that had been sprayed white and dusted with iridescent ‘frost.’ The clusters of trees sat in a bank of what looked like snow, with small LED lights at the base of the trees to spotlight them.
She’d used digital mapping to project scenes of a snow-filled forest onto the two side walls, immersing the entire room into winter.
Each table centerpiece featured a smaller version of the trees stretching tall from a round clear glass globe filled with silver balls. An aubergine velvet ribbon was bound around the cluster of branches just above the rim of each globe, and silver pillar candles in slender glass vases of varying heights surrounded the centerpieces, illuminating the entire room with a warm, soft glow. Each place setting featured a dark purple charger with a menu card and a silver napkin.
Upon closer inspection, I could see that Lisa had added a few tiny snowflakes randomly spread across the card, making sure each G had a strategically placed snowflake over the line. It wasn’t a perfect fix, and it would definitely show up in bright light. But in the dim cast of the pillars, it was undetectable. I have no idea how hard my poor cousin worked to get them all done, but every place setting had one.
As I stepped back from the table, I realized Sandy had also brought in silver Chiavari chairs with an aubergine velvet ribbon. I turned to her and blinked rapidly to try and prevent the tears from ruining my make-up.
Sandy smiled. “So do you like it?”
“Like it? Sandy, it’s absolutely incredible. It’s beyond what I could imagine this room transformed into, and I’ve seen a lot of room transformations. But it’s too much. You did way more than what was on the proposal.” I motioned toward the chairs, the mapping on the walls, and the canopy of lights.
She smiled and grasped my hand, her own eyes just as glassy as mine as we both tried not to cry. “Maggie Mae is one of my oldest friends. We’ve been through a lot of life
together. I was there at the hospital the day Cabe was born, and I’ve watched him grow into an amazing man who I am sure will be an amazing husband. Nothing I could do would be enough to reflect what they mean to me. But I’ve tried.”
She led me to the back of the room, where there was a custom s’mores station and hot chocolate brewery by the cake table. The four-tiered square cake featured what appeared to be icicles draped from every layer and a cluster of deep purple-berry hydrangea on the top.
Laura stood nearby, and I knew we needed to go, but I was enchanted by the room. I couldn’t believe this was our church gymnasium yesterday. I hugged Sandy and thanked her again as Laura led us away.
Mama and Maggie were walking in as we were walking out.
“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Tied up and tarnation, I’ve never seen anything so pretty,” Mama exclaimed, wide-eyed and in shock.
“I told you,” Maggie said with a smile. “I said you’d be blown away.”
“Maggie, thank you. The room is amazing, and Sandy has done an incredible job. I can’t thank you enough,” I said as I hugged my mother-in-law.
“It was my pleasure.”
Mama nodded. “Yes, Maggie. Thank you so much. I never could have done this for her, and I don’t have the words to tell you how appreciative I am. It’s truly beautiful.” She took my hands and squeezed them. “You did the right thing. This is amazing.”
I smiled and fought back the tears that seem to be ever-present and ready to flood at any moment.
“We need to get her in her dress, ladies. Feel free to join us in the waiting room in just a few minutes.” Laura was in work mode behind us, keeping us on track.
It took Mel, Laura and both my sisters to get me in the dress. It was slim-fitting white velvet with long sleeves trimmed in rhinestones and a scoop neckline trimmed in the same. The back of the dress was completely sheer save for my shoulders and the strip of velvet that formed the back of the collar and served to join the sleeves together. A row of tiny little pearl bead buttons started at my neckline and went all the way down the center of my back to the top of the fishtail train. The sheer panel dipped low to a V at the base of my spine and then curved around under each arm to come to a sheer point across my ribs. The outline was also trimmed in rhinestones.
Daddy’s heart necklace lay at the base of my throat, quivering ever so slightly as my pulse raced with excitement.
Mama and Maggie came in with Eric and Erin in tow. Eric’s suit was the same dark gray as Cabe’s, and Erin wore a dress of aubergine velvet trimmed around her collar, wrists, and hem with white faux fur. Carrie had gotten creative.
“Oh, Tyler,” Maggie exclaimed with her hand at her throat. “Oh honey.” She shook her head slightly as tears filled her eyes and she covered her open mouth with her hand. She walked toward me slowly.
“Don’t you make me cry,” I said as I laughed. “I’ve been trying all day not to cry.”
She hugged me, taking care not to muss our hair or makeup or squish her hydrangea corsage. “You are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. You are glowing. Oh.” Her voice broke off with emotion, and she laughed it away. “He’s going to be mesmerized. I can’t wait to see his face.”
“You’re a beauty, sugar. Stunning.” Mama must have been really impressed. She is rarely a woman of so few words, and even more rarely are they complimentary.
“Any word from Lillian?” I looked to Laura, who frowned and shook her head. Lillian’s flight this morning had been canceled due to the weather. The last anyone had heard she planned to drive here, but since she doesn’t answer her phone in the car we had no way of knowing her progress.
“Thanks for being here, Laura. It means the world to me, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I mean, just giving up a weekend off that you could have been with your family.” My eyes welled up again. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to thank me. I would not have missed this for the world. I’m honored to be here.”
I heard someone say it was time to go, and the room became a flurry of activity. All day long, time had moved so slowly it felt it wasn’t moving at all, and yet the whole day sped by so fast that when I thought about it, I got dizzy.
Next thing I knew, Maggie and Mama had already gone in the sanctuary to be seated, and Tanya and Carrie were waiting to go through the double wood doors as What A Wonderful World continued to play. We’d chosen to use the same processional song we had before.
The glass doors behind me swung open with a blast of frigid air and a huffy Brit.
“Jesus, it’s freezing out there,” Lillian said as she stepped inside and smoothed her hair down. Sharon from the church staff glared at her, not only for being late, but for using the Lord’s name in vain, I am sure. Lillian was oblivious. “Did you know it’s snowing?”
“Snow!” Eric and Erin took off to press their faces against the glass doors, jumping up and down in excitement. I stood behind them, watching the light flurries dance and twirl as they fell from the sky. My heart expanded and filled my chest as the tears broke free and slid down my cheeks. I touched my fingers to the gold heart nestled at the base of my throat and whispered, “I knew you’d come.”
“We’re gonna run out of song,” Laura called out as Tanya herded Eric and Erin back into place behind Mel and I hugged Lillian and thanked her for coming.
First Carrie was gone, then Laura. It was Mel’s turn next and I gave her a quick hug before she went. She grabbed my arm and whispered close in my ear. “This is beautiful, but I prefer your last wedding.” She winked at me and blew me a kiss. “Remember what I always tell my brides. When those doors open, take a moment to see everything.”
I nodded, unable to believe that I’d heard her say that so many times before, and here I was on the receiving end today.
Eric and Erin went in next, and we could hear the crowd ooh and aah as they made their way down the aisle.
Lillian somehow nudged Sharon back so she could stand at the door opposite of Laura. How fitting for those two ladies, my bosses and mentors, to be the gatekeepers as I stepped into the new life before me.
“Only wedding I’ve ever been late to,” Lillian said under her breath. She winked at me and said, “Knock ‘em dead, kiddo. You look gorgeous.”
“Thanks again for coming,” I managed to say before my voice broke and tears threatened me again.
This was it. This was my moment. My favorite part of every wedding. When the bride is standing there, waiting for the doors to open. When everything behind her, every step she’s taken in the path of life, has somehow led her to this choice, and after those doors open and she walks inside, her life will never be the same again.
Today, I was the bride. My favorite moment was mine.
I held tight to my brother’s arm as Lillian and Laura prepared to swing the doors open. “You look beautiful,” he said. “I love you.”
“You too.”
The doors swung wide and I saw what the planner never sees.
Family and friends looking back at me with wonder and expectation. Our mothers at the end of the aisle, smiling as they both wiped away tears of happiness.
My sisters standing side by side on the altar, welcoming me on this new journey. Mel beside them, her face filled with tears as she smiled with a love no less greater than that of a true sister.
And then, there he was. He came into my line of vision, and everything else disappeared.
My heart leapt, and I wanted to break free from my brother and run to him. To throw myself in his arms and scream, “We made it!”
His smile radiated out across the distance between us, as though the joy it conveyed could not be contained.
I stood a second longer, making sure I memorized everything, froze each detail in my mind to be recalled for the rest of my life.
His hair, slicked back away from his face, tousled and damp on the sides where it fell in loose curls around his collar.
&nbs
p; His shoulders, broad and strong beneath his jacket, and his hands, so adept at caressing my skin, clasped in front of him as he rocked back and forth on his heels.
I noticed his tears flowing just as openly as mine when I gazed into his eyes. Oh, those eyes. Those beautiful eyes. I saw my world in those eyes.
And suddenly, I couldn’t wait any more. I tugged at Brad’s arm and stepped forward to go to Cabe, unable to stay away any longer.
He met us at the bottom of the stairs. He shook Brad’s hand and then took mine, bending to kiss my cheek as the crowd laughed.
“I thought you’d never get here, but you were worth the wait,” he whispered in my ear as the pastor playfully admonished him for the kiss. He held my hand to lead me up the steps to the altar, and when we’d settled in place, he looked at me and mouthed, “Wow. Hot.”
I smiled at him as the pastor started his “Dearly Beloved” speech. I leaned toward Cabe ever so slightly and whispered in a voice so low, I wasn’t sure he’d be able to hear me.
“Ready to do this again?”
He leaned back and answered me, “Any time. Any place.”
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