When the outbreak happened, when all the shit hit the fan, their relationship died. They had died. The world had died. Then they were born again as something new. When the world died, Liv would have latched on to her humanity and held on to it. Colin had let his go.
For a long moment, Eric didn’t speak. “You aren’t a monster.”
“Pft! You had to think about that way too long for it to be true.” The corners of Colin’s lips twitched up.
“Hear me out. You’ve done some fucked-up shit, but you aren’t a monster. You’re right, everyone changed. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. We did what we had to. Now we’re doing something different. We’re finding a better way to survive.”
Colin chewed on his lower lips as he mulled over Eric’s words. In the span of a month he had killed six people outright. Dozens of others had died because of his choices. Including his friends. Including Rotna.
Killing the first person. The Sovereign who had threatened them at the pharmacy hadn’t been hard, and each person he had killed made it easier to kill the next. Each one was a little less disturbing. Each one was a little less real. Until he had suggested the outright slaughter of an entire group.
Men, women, and children had all died indiscriminately because of him. The decision hadn’t been hard, at least not until he had seen the reality of it. It hadn’t seemed wrong. That was what scared him the most.
His stomach churned. He had thought he was doing the right thing. In reality, his reckless disregard for the future had put himself and others in danger, and others had paid the price for him. Some of them were faceless nobodies. People he hadn’t known but whose ghosts would forever haunt his dreams. Some of them were friends whose deaths haunted him even in his waking hours.
Colin rubbed his forehead as the thoughts swirled through his mind.
How could he face Liv after all that he had done? Did he even want to? Colin chewed on his lip while he thought. He had to know. He had to know if she and Elli were alive. Whatever happened after that would happen.
Could he come back from the indifference he had learned for life?
Did he even deserve to?
Day 37
“We need to get off the highway up here.” Colin had a paper map they had taken from a gas station spread across his lap. Their car sped down the wrong side of the highway towards Troy. “The next exit should be East State Highway Forty-Seven. It cuts straight through Troy and Hawk Point. We’ll be at the farm in…twenty minutes.”
Eric angled the car toward the highway’s on-ramp. There weren’t any cars trying to get onto the highway towards St. Louis. They were all running away from it.
“Should we really be using the main road?” Eric asked.
“Probably not,” Colin conceded. “But I’m not familiar with this area, and I don’t really fancy getting lost in freak-infested suburbs.”
Eric nodded in agreement as he pulled the car off the on-ramp and onto the road. Traffic was back up as far as they could see. The cars were in two long rather neat lines waiting the get on the highway and away from the town. The people had sat in their cars, waiting for their turn to die.
The freaks stirred at the sound of the car. Their heads swung around to face the sound. Shrieks broke through the air as they started running for the cars.
“Gun it!” Colin shouted as freaks darted out from between the cars towards them. The tires squealed and the car lurched forward.
The car rocked this way and that as Eric swerved around other cars in the road. A freak stepped in front of the car, reaching for it, only to be plowed over as the wheels bumped over its already-mangled body.
“We’ve got to get off this road!” Eric face was taut as he concentrated on driving. The freaks were flooding out from between the cars and clogging the road. “Find us another route.”
Colin looked down at his map again, tracing their path with his finger and looking for side roads. The car rocked as though it had gone over a set of speed bumps too quickly as Eric rolled over three more freaks.
“Turn here!” Colin pointed to the left just as Eric was about to pass Main Street. Colin gripped the door handle as Eric spun the wheel, rolling over the small raised concrete triangle that separated the turn lane from the other lanes. Colin checked behind them to ensure the other vehicle had followed.
“Where to now?” Eric gunned the engine again on the empty road.
“Take a right on Boone in a little bit,” Colin said.
Eric nodded, his knuckles white as he gripped the wheel.
Buildings suddenly rose up at the edge of the street. Small brick builds that held a coffee shop, a bar, a small antique store, and other quaint hole-in-the-wall shops. But the shops no longer felt quaint. They felt like a kill shoot, designed to funnel them right into the bellies of the freaks.
“Shit!” Eric slammed on the breaks.
Colin’s seatbelt locked up, digging painfully into his shoulder. Then with the scream of metal on metal, the car lurched forward again, slamming Colin back into his seat. The windshield shattered, showering Colin in hundreds of tiny, razor-edged fragments of glass.
“What the fuck?” Eric shook his head.
“What happened?” Colin looked around, struggling to fight through the haze that had suddenly fallen over his mind. The hood of their car was buried into a telephone pole that had fallen across the road.
“We need to get out. Now. The freaks will be on us any minute.”
He could already see movement around them as freaks came to investigate the noise. Colin clicked off his seatbelt and threw open the door. As Colin jumped out of the car, his legs shook and threatened to collapse out from up him. For a moment, the world swam. Taking a deep breath, Colin forced his mind to calm.
The hood of the other car was crumpled up to almost half its original size. It had slammed into the back end of their car when they had stopped. Colin took a few testing steps before running to the other car.
He yanked open the door. “Is everyone alright?” A few people blinked at him in daze. Others nodded.
“Good. We have to get going.” Movement caught Colin’s eye. Back in the direction they had come from, the road was filled with freaks. They covered the street and spilled onto the sidewalk. Others trickled in from the side streets, adding their numbers to the horde.
“Get out now! Move!” Colin bellowed. The others scrambled out of the car.
Colin spun and headed for Boone Street. A freak stumbled around the side of a car, grabbing for Colin. Colin threw his elbow out, catching the creature in the chin and spinning it around.
“Where are we going?” Eric shouted.
“Just follow this road. It’ll get close to Highway Forty-Seven again. It’s a straight shot to the farm from there.” Colin dodged around another freak as it grabbed for him. They didn’t have time to fight them all.
A large wrought-iron fence rose up on their left. Inside was a cemetery with small, blocky headstones surrounding the odd mausoleum.
“Let’s go over the fence!” Colin shouted to the others. “Keep it between us and the freaks.” The fence rose above his head, with very few handholds for one to pull oneself up with. They slammed into the fence of the Troy City Cemetery. Eric dropped down to one knee, giving one of the two younger men a boost over the fence.
A scream pierced the air and Colin spun to face it. More freaks were emerging from between the houses that sat across from the cemetery. One hurtled straight for them, its face contorted into a vicious snarl. Colin raised his rifle and fired. The freak spun around and fell to the ground. Almost immediately, it rose again. Colin looked down the sights of his rifle and fired once more. This time the creature’s head snapped back and it crumpled to the ground in a heap.
Another scream rose, this time from behind him. Colin spun to see freaks inside the cemetery converging on those who had already scaled the fence.
Shit.
“Find a gate!” Eric shouted.
They ran down the fe
nce looking for an opening. Some way to get the other out. The cemetery should have been mostly empty. People only congregated there if funerals were being held. These freaks didn’t look as if they had been attending a funeral. They didn’t wear a suit and tie or nice black dresses. Their clothes were the average shirt and pants someone wore every day.
“There!” someone shouted.
A large wrought-iron arch and simple brick pillars marked a gate up ahead. It was an automatic kind that slid back and forth on wheels. It had been knocked partially off the track, the lower corner bent outward.
The opening was narrow. Barely big enough for someone to squeeze through, and the gate was still locked.
“Come on! Come on!” Colin raised his rifle, shooting down few of the freaks closest to those inside the gate. One by one they squeezed through.
One. Two. A freak grabbed ahold of the older man, his daughter screaming as she reached for her father. Eric reached through the fence, taking hold of the freak and jamming his knife into the side of its head. Three. Too many of them were getting too close. Colin flipped his rifle to three round burst. He didn’t need to kill them, just to keep them at bay. Four.
Colin screamed as a searing pain run up his right leg. A freak, its legs twisted and broken, had ahold of his leg. Its teeth sunk deep into his calf as blood bubbled up around its lips. Colin pressed his rifle to the side of the freak’s head. It looked up at him with one eye, unfazed by its imminent doom, as it dug its fingers into his leg. He pulled the trigger, blood and brain matter spraying out of the creature’s head.
Eric stared at Colin, eyes wide. “We have to go. The rest are still coming.”
“Go,” Colin said grimly, relief flooding through him for the first time in a long time. “The farm isn’t far. Follow Forty-Seven past Hawk’s Point. You’ll see signs for Slag Stead. You guys can make it.”
“I’m not leaving you behind,” Eric growled, taking ahold of Colin’s arm. “Your family is waiting for you.”
“Someone has to keep the horde from following us to the farm,” Colin said matter-of-factly. “There’s one safe place where my family might be, and I won’t allow it to be overrun because of us.” Colin looked down at his leg again, blood oozing from the jagged edges of the wound. “I’m already dead. It has to be me.”
“You can see them one last time—”
“No,” Colin said firmly. “There isn’t any more time. This is it. They’re either there or they aren’t. Liv might be at the farm, but I wasn’t meant to be there. Now go. Tell Liv I loved her. Just do me one favor?” Eric nodded dumbly. “Don’t tell her about what’s happened. Please.”
Eric nodded again. He took a deep breath before pulling Colin into a quick hug and pushing him away just as quickly.
“Let’s go!” Eric shouted, quickly turning from Colin.
Colin turned his back on his friends. He turned his back on Slag Stead. He turned his back on the happy future that would never be to face the oncoming horde.
He fired at a freak as it ran towards him from the houses. The thing fell face first into the pavement, sliding a few feet before coming to a stop. The rifle clicked empty as Colin sighted another freak. He reached into his pocket, fishing around for another magazine, only to find it empty.
Colin dropped the useless weapon to the ground and pulled out his crowbar. The same trusty weapon he had used since the outbreak.
His leg throbbed as he shifted his weight off it. His heart raced, but he wasn’t afraid. Not anymore. In a few moments, it would all be over. The horde would rip him to shreds, but his friends would be safe.
Are they really safe? The despicable little voice nagged in the back of his mind.
He pushed the voice away. They were safe. Liv and Elli were safe. She had fought her way there. She had found a place for them. She was alive. Or was she?
The fastest freaks reached Colin first, sprinting ahead of the horde. The first was a man in a dirty business suit. The suit that had once been slate gray was now caked in mud and blood. The knees of his pants were filthy and torn. Blood clung to the lower half of his face like a mask. The trail dripped down his white button-up shirt and navy-blue tie.
As the freak approached, Colin took a small step to the side, tripping the freak and sending him sprawling to the ground. Colin raised his crowbar and brought it down hard on top of the man’s head. In one swift motion, Colin yanked the claws of the crowbar free again and spun to face the next freak.
A teenage girl. Her bare feet were bruised and scraped. Her jet-black hair had once been pulled into a ponytail. Though some of the hair remained tied back, much of it had been pulled out, creating a bird’s nest halo around her face. Her nose was gone; only two empty holes remained in its place, along with her upper lip.
Colin swung his crowbar as she approached. It caught her in the neck, her head suddenly lolling sideways. Her body collapsed to the ground, the spinal cord severed. Yet her teeth continued to gnash hungrily. Colin pulled the crowbar back and swung it once more, burying it into the top of her head.
Hands wrapped tightly around his arm. Bloodied fingers with dirt-encrusted fingernails. Colin dropped his crowbar and reached for his hammer. With a swing of his hammer, the arm snapped, twisting unnaturally. The fingers clung to him for an extra moment before he shook them off.
Colin took a step back and swung. The claws of the hammer caught the freak on the chin, the skin peeling away from his face in one long strip, revealing the bone and teeth underneath.
Suddenly Colin’s chest constricted. He didn’t want to be one of these things. He didn’t want to be a mangled walking corpse that feasted on others. He wanted to see his family. One last time. To know they were alive. To see it with his own eyes.
He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die by hands and teeth. Being ripped to shreds before his heart stopped beating. Before he took his final breath.
It didn’t matter what he wanted, though. His fate was sealed.
Another freak lunged for him, its teeth snapping mere inches from his face. Screams echoed through his mind. The screams of the Sovereigns as the horde tore through the camp. The screams of a child. Terrified and uncomprehending.
He deserved this.
Colin lashed out at the freak, tears blurring his vision. As soon as one fell away, another took its place. As the next charged forward, Colin put his arm up to shield his face. The freak latched onto his arm, its teeth sinking into his flesh. Colin screamed as the pain seared up his arm and clouded his mind. He tried to pull his arm away, but the monster clamped down harder, refusing to let go. The hammer split the freak’s face open, blood spraying back against Colin’s cheek.
Colin turned to run, trying to put some distance between himself and the mob. As he put weight on his right leg, it collapsed. The concrete bit into the palm of his hands as he tried to catch himself.
Instantly he could feel the weight on him. Hands grabbing ahold of clothes. Scratching at his skin. Colin rolled onto his back to face the freaks.
The sky was blotted out with snarling faces. Blood-speckled cheeks leaned in towards him, and Colin struck out with his hatchet, trying to fend off the inevitable.
Teeth found the tender flesh of his stomach and Colin screamed out again. His scream turned into a sob as the flesh was ripped away. A hand found the opening, jamming deep into his insides. The freak grabbed ahold of a fistful of intestines and pulled them back through the opening.
This time Colin did not scream. The pain clouded his mind and the hatchet fell from his hand. More teeth sank into his legs, his arms, his chest, his neck.
An opening in the dirty faces allowed the clear blue sky to peer through once more.
“I love you,” Colin whispered, unsure if the words had made it to his lips.
Liv wasn’t far away. She was waiting for him with Elli. Soon the others would arrive. Hopefully, he had given them the lead they needed to be free of the horde. They would tell Liv that he had made it.
&nbs
p; Would she cry? Had she already shed tears for him? Days ago? Weeks ago?
I’m sorry.
He had died. During the outbreak. The man Liv had known had been dead for weeks. He wasn’t that man anymore. He was a different man. Someone Liv never would have recognized. She would have known his face, but he was like the freaks now. He wore the skin of someone long dead.
I love you and I’m sorry.
He couldn’t take back what he had done. He couldn’t change the lives he had taken. He couldn’t change that he hadn’t gone looking for them. But maybe with this act, he could redeem himself just a little.
I love you and I’m sorry.
Day 52
He drummed his fingers on the dashboard of the car. He hated waiting. He had always hated waiting.
The others scurried around the sight, scavenging what they could. A lot had been left behind. Food. Water. They had been lazy. Or perhaps scared.
A smile spread across his face. He hoped they were scared. They should be scared. People who were scared made stupid mistakes.
Finally, unable to wait any longer, he threw open the car door and stepped out. His head swam as he stood up. He growled, but took a step forward.
“What is taking so long?” he barked.
The others startled and turned towards him.
“You shouldn’t be up.” A man hustled over to him.
“I will do what I please,” he growled back. “Where did they go?”
“I-I…Well, we aren’t sure.” The man began to fidget uncomfortably. “There isn’t really anything that points in any one direction. It’s mainly just the supplies we had brought to the other side of the river.”
“Then leave it. We should get moving.” He turned back towards the vehicle.
“G-G-Get moving to where?” The man looked incredibly uncomfortable. “If we don’t know where they went, then h-how are we going to find them?”
Death & Decay (Book 2): Divided Page 19