Man From the USSR & Other Plays

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Man From the USSR & Other Plays Page 7

by Vladimir Nabokov


  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  But the Communists are shrewd, they have spies and agents provocateurs.... Alexey could get caught at any moment....

  TAUBENDORF

  That’s the whole point—they’re not that shrewd.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  I wish I were living in the fifties of the last century, in the backwoods of Glukhov or Mirgorod. I get so scared and so sad.

  TAUBENDORF

  Olga Pavlovna, you remember our last conversation?

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Which one? Before Alexey’s arrival?

  TAUBENDORF

  Yes. I told you—you may recall—that when you feel sad and scared—as you just put it—I told you that then—that in moments like this, I’m ready—what I mean is, I’m ready to do anything for you.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  I remember. Thank you, my dear. Only—

  TAUBENDORF

  (getting up and pacing about the stage)

  There’s nothing I wouldn’t ... I’ve already known you for three years. I was best man at your wedding—remember?—at that little church in Tegel.7 Then, when you separated, when you fell out of love with your husband—and remained alone—already then there was a lot I wanted to say to you. But I have a strong will. I decided not to rush things. Three times Alyosha traveled to Russia, and I would come to see you—but not too often, right? It was deliberate. I had a feeling there might be ... well, all kinds of things—maybe you were seeing someone else ... and maybe it wasn’t fair to Alyosha ... it just didn’t seem right. But now I realize....

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Nikolay Karlovich, for heaven’s sake, don’t....

  TAUBENDORF

  Now I realize that I need wait no longer—I realize that you and Alyosha are like total strangers. He wouldn’t be able to understand you anyway. I don’t blame him for it—you see, I have no right to criticize him or even discuss his actions. He is magnificent, he is something very special.... But—he has given you up for Russia. He is simply incapable of other interests. That’s why I don’t feel any guilt toward him.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  I don’t know if you should be telling me all this, Nikolay Karlovich.

  TAUBENDORF

  (sitting down again)

  Of course I should. It’s practically impossible to keep silent. Listen: I ask nothing of you. I mean, that’s nonsense—of course I ask, and I ask a great deal. Maybe if one tries, if one makes a real effort, one can force oneself—well, at least to notice a person.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Wait....There’s a misunderstanding here.

  TAUBENDORF

  No, no! I know everything you’re going to say. I know that for you I am nothing more than Nikolay Karlovich, and that’s the end of it. But then, you don’t notice anybody. For you, too, the only thing in life is your longing for Russia. And I can’t live like that.... For you I would give up everything.... God knows I’d like to get back over there too, but for you I’d stay, for you I’d do anything....

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Please wait a minute. Calm down. Give me your hand. Please calm down. Your forehead is even perspiring. I want to tell you something very different.

  TAUBENDORF

  But why? Why? You would never feel sad with me. You’re only sad because you’re alone. I would surround you ... you’re my joy....

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  I’ll tell you something I’ve never told anybody before. You see, you ... you are mistaken. I’ll tell you the truth. I’m not interested in Russia now—I mean, I’m interested, but not all that passionately. The point is I’ve never stopped loving my husband.

  (silence)

  TAUBENDORF

  Oh. Yes, that changes everything.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  No one knows this. Even he doesn’t know.

  TAUBENDORF

  Yes, of course.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  To me he is not at all a leader and a hero as he is for you—but simply ... I simply love him, his way of speaking, walking, raising his eyebrows when he finds something funny. Sometimes I feel I’d like to arrange for him to be caught and put in jail forever, and for me to be in that jail with him.

  TAUBENDORF

  He’d escape.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Now you want to hurt me. Yes, he’d escape. That’s exactly my misfortune. But there’s nothing I can do to change it.

  TAUBENDORF

  Thirteen.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Pardon me?

  TAUBENDORF

  I was just counting the money, and when you came in I stopped at thirteen. Unlucky number.

  (silence)

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Does it add up to much?

  TAUBENDORF

  No, not much I think. Just barely enough to pay for the hall. What difference does it make?

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Nikolay Karlovich, you understand, of course, that Alyosha must not find out about what I told you. Don’t talk to him about me.

  TAUBENDORF

  I understand everything, Olga Pavlovna.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  I guess he isn’t coming.

  (They both get up.)

  TAUBENDORF

  He and I have an appointment to meet tomorrow morning at the studio. It’s an awfully silly place for a business meeting, but there was no other way. Would you like me to give him any kind of message at all?

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  No, nothing. I’m sure he’ll drop by to see me tomorrow anyway. And now I’ll run along.

  TAUBENDORF

  Please excuse me for ... for what I said. I had no way of knowing.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Of course. Probably it’s my own fault. Well, so long.

  TAUBENDORF

  Olga Pavlovna, you have my admiration. You are an absolutely marvelous person. Alyosha does not understand.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Oh, Nikolay Karlovich, really—let’s not talk about it any more.... After all, I’m not the Chinese language that one either understands or doesn’t understand. Believe me, there is nothing incomprehensible about me.

  TAUBENDORF

  I didn’t want to make you angry.

  OLGA PAVLOVNA

  Well, some time I’ll get truly rebellious, then we’ll see.... (laughs). Then the sparks will really fly!...

  (She leaves. Taubendorf returns to the table and sits down. In the hall, on the other side of the wall, there is a thunder of applause.)

  CURTAIN

  ACT FOUR

  The lobby of a film studio. On the right, along the edge of the stage, the same gray wall as in the preceding act. To the left of it, a wide passageway crowded with movie props, creating an effect reminiscent simultaneously of a photographer’s waiting room, the jumble of an amusement-park booth, and the motley corner of a futurist’s canvas. (Among these angular shapes are conspicuous three cupolas—a large one and two smaller ones—the ochre, onion-shaped domes of some crudely reproduced Russian church. There is also a balalaika lying here haphazardly, and a half-unfurled map of Russia.) These props have uneven gaps and apertures (in the distance are visible the outlines of enormous klieg lights). All of it reminds the viewer of a many-colored jigsaw puzzle, carelessly and only partially assembled. As the curtain rises, the front of the stage is swarming with Russian émigrés who have just arrived for the shooting. Among them is Lyulya. The Assistant Director briskly and buoyantly squeezes onstage through the scenery blocking his way. He is redheaded, has a paunch, wears neither jacket nor waistcoat, and immediately begins to speak very loudly.

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Get your makeup on, people, get your makeup on! Ladies to the left, men to the right. How come Marianna isn’t here yet? The call was for nine o’clock....

  (The stage empties, Then two stagehands in blue carry a ladder across.)

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR’S VOICE

  (already backstage)

  Kurt, Kurt! Wo ist
Kurt? Mann muss—

  (The voice fades away. Then Marianna and Kuznetsoff enter from the right.)

  MARIANNA

  (pressing her hands to her temples as she walks)

  It’s absolutely outrageous, absolutely outrageous of you....

  KUZNETSOFF

  ...only one thing can be interesting in life—that which can be prevented. Why waste energy worrying about the inevitable?

  (They both stop.)

  MARIANNA

  So you haven’t changed your mind?

  KUZNETSOFF

  (looking around)

  Amusing place.... I’ve never been in a film studio before, (peeking behind the props) Look at those gigantic lamps!...

  MARIANNA

  I probably won’t understand you until my dying day. So your decision is final?

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  (running in from the right)

  What’s going on here, Mariannochka? This simply won’t do....Shoo! Into your dressing room!

  MARIANNA

  All right, all right, in a minute.

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Not in a minute, but immediately. Kurt! (runs off)

  MARIANNA

  Think it over again.... Think it over while I’m changing. Understand?

  KUZNETSOFF

  Ah, Marianna Sergeyevna, you’re really so...

  MARIANNA

  No, no. Just wait for me here and think it over.

  (Exits to the right. Assistant Director runs in from left.)

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Please go get made up. Didn’t you hear me?

  KUZNETSOFF

  Relax. I don’t work here.

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Then you’re not supposed to be here. There are rules.

  KUZNETSOFF

  Fiddlesticks.

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  If Herr Moser—

  KUZNETSOFF

  Childhood friend of mine.

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Oh, in that case it’s all right. Excuse me.

  KUZNETSOFF

  You people pour on the folklore pretty thick. What are those, cupolas?

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Yes. Today is the last day of shooting—the uprising scene. We’re in a terrible rush, since the film has to be all edited by Saturday. Pardon, I have to run. (runs off)

  KUZNETSOFF

  Go right ahead.

  (Walks to and fro, picks up and unfurls the enormous map crudely depicting Russia. Smiles and examines it. Taubendorf comes in from the right. Beneath his coat are visible jackboots. He is carrying a valise.)

  TAUBENDORF

  Oh, you’re already here, Alyosha. How did you get in?

  KUZNETSOFF

  Very simple. Said I was the bosom buddy of somebody called Moser. The Crimea came out as a perfect rhomboid here.

  TAUBENDORF

  Russia.... Yes. My colleagues are probably already getting made up. But that’s all right. Everything goes at a snail’s pace here.... Alyosha, I carried out all your orders. Werner is already on his way.

  KUZNETSOFF

  Jesus, it’s dusty in here.

  (Tosses the map into a corner. It rolls up by itself. Claps his hands to get the dust off them.)

  TAUBENDORF

  Alyosha, when will you arrange a passport for me too?

  KUZNETSOFF

  Later. Here’s why I wanted to see you: Saturday I’m going back to Russia; in about three weeks Demidov will get here. I’ll ask you to.... This isn’t a very good place to talk, though.

  TAUBENDORF

  Let’s go over there—there’s an empty room in back. In the meantime I can get my makeup on.

  KUZNETSOFF

  Aha! You’re in jackboots....

  (Both exeunt left. Assistant Director scurries across the stage and darts behind the scenery. Stagehands pass carrying painted flats. Made-up extras, the men in Russian shirts and the women in kerchiefs, enter from right and left and gradually disappear behind the scenery. Assistant Director runs out again, holding a huge megaphone.)

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  Hurry up, people, hurry up! Everybody on the set! We’re starting as soon as Harry and Marianna are ready.

  LYULYA

  (with a kerchief on her head)

  Harry’s been ready for a long time. He’s drinking beer in the canteen, (leaves with the others)

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  (to Marianna)

  Finally!...

  MARIANNA

  Did you see where.... There was a gentleman here.... The one I came with....

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  What’s the matter with you? We’re here for serious work, not tomfoolery. On the set please!

  (He runs off. Kuznetsoff enters from the left.)

  MARIANNA

  Alec, it’s such a madhouse here.... We’ll never settle anything. Alec, have you changed your mind?

  KUZNETSOFF

  I didn’t recognize you right away. Look at you, all yellow and purple.

  MARIANNA

  I’m supposed to look like this. It comes out quite differently on the screen.... Alec!

  KUZNETSOFF

  And that astrakhan hat with the star on it. Who are you supposed to be?

  MARIANNA

  You’re driving me insane!

  (Assistant Director runs in.)

  ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

  We’re starting! Let’s go, for God’s sake! The rushes have to be ready by Saturday. Marianna! (yells right at her through the megaphone) Places!!

  MARIANNA

  You’re abominably rude. Alec, I implore you, wait for me....I’ll only be a minute....

  (Marianna and Assistant Director leave. From the left appears Taubendorf with a false beard and a Russian peasant shirt and cap.)

  TAUBENDORF

  There. I’m ready too.

  KUZNETSOFF

  Lovely, lovely. I think they’ve already started in there. Your commander is very excited.

  TAUBENDORF

  That’s normal. First there’ll be endless rehearsals of this uprising scene. The actual shooting will start much later. (lights a cigarette) Alyosha, have we covered everything? There’s nothing else?

  (As he speaks, he leans against a wall on which there is a large “nicht rauchen” sign. He continues to smoke.)

  KUZNETSOFF

  Nothing else. The rest you know yourself.

  TAUBENDORF

  The rest?

  KUZNETSOFF

  Yes. About Olga Pavlovna. Take care of her as you did before. Look in on her now and then, and help her out if necessary.

  TAUBENDORF

  Alyosha, I...

  KUZNETSOFF

  What’s the matter with you?

  TAUBENDORF

  (very agitated)

  Actually...

  KUZNETSOFF

  Shoot.

  TAUBENDORF

  Alyosha, I beg you.... I want to go with you! Do you hear, I want to go with you! To stay here will be my undoing.... (From backstage comes the buzzing of klieg lights, then the Assistant Director’s voice through the megaphone.)

  MEGAPHONE OFFSTAGE

  People, you’re in Russia! In a square! There’s an uprising going on! First Group waves their flags! Second Group runs left from the barricade! Third Group moves forward!

  KUZNETSOFF

  You’re beginning to bore me, my friend. I’ve already told you everything.

  TAUBENDORF

  I dare not contradict you. What—are you going now? Will I see you again?

  MEGAPHONE OFFSTAGE

  Achtung!

  KUZNETSOFF

  No, I don’t think so. I won’t have much free time these last few days. I’ll drop in on Olga Pavlovna for a minute today, and then not until Saturday, before leaving. There’s something else I wanted to ask you: are you going to keep working in the tavern?

 

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