“And were smoking hot,” Lizzy said.
“Still are if you ask me,” I said.
Lizzy puckered her lips and kissed the air.
I showed her my middle fingers again.
“They were really good,” Danica said. “Really popular. There was even talk of them actually becoming big. Famous and all of that. They had people interested in them.”
“How does Ash play into this?” I asked.
“Soon,” Danica said. “First… listen…”
I stepped back and sat down on the corner of my bed.
Danica touched the screen of her phone and the speakers that were positioned perfectly through my room came to life.
The echoed thud of the body of the guitar hitting a microphone made me jump.
Then came laughing.
I knew those voices.
“Fucking almost broke the guitar,” Uly’s voice said.
“Not your precious doll,” Hil said with a laugh.
“Guys, just play the song,” another voice added. I didn’t know that voice. “Just run through one take. Please.”
There was a little bit more background noise and then all of that disappeared.
And the song began.
Two guitars.
Someone strumming and someone playing notes.
I looked at the floor for a few seconds, my head gently bobbing.
Then came Hil’s voice… that goddamn lyrical voice actually singing lyrics.
“She told me she’s leaving, I told her we’re still breathing. She told me she’s screaming, I told her I’m still believing…”
I looked up at Danica.
She had a sad smile on her face, head nodding.
I looked over to Lizzy.
Her head was back, moving left to right.
They were into it.
They had heard this before.
Of course they’ve heard it before…
The song was amazing.
Uly joined in on the chorus, creating an even bigger sound vocally.
“I never left because I never tried. You always stayed, you forgot goodbye. Now we’re chasing pictures of the past… just hoping for one extra day… this will last…”
The word last drawn out in a beautiful note, fading as the guitars picked up speed again.
I sucked in a breath and held it.
The second verse began and this time it was Uly singing.
I stood up and pointed to the TV screen.
“I’ll pace these fucking halls, leaving my thoughts to crawl, speaking what I never said, we both lost our fucking head. And as she walks so fucking far all gone, I’ll stand on a rooftop to scream this song, and you’ll be the one running down the street, wishing back into time so we could never meet…”
His voice broke off like he was about to cry.
That made my heart jump into my throat.
I actually touched my chest.
The chorus played again and then Danica shut the song off.
“Leave it to Uly to drop f bombs so the song couldn’t be played on the radio,” she said.
“Holy fuck,” I said.
“That’s just one song, Belle,” Lizzy said. “They were really popular and really good.”
“Give me more,” I said. “I want all of it. They recorded everything?”
“Yeah,” Danica said. “They wanted to get rid of everything too after it all fell apart.”
“Why did it fall apart?” I asked. “Is it because of the rings? They both wear rings…”
Danica moved toward me and tossed her phone to the bed. “You need to calm down. Have a drink.”
“I brought something to drink!” Lizzy yelled.
She jumped up and took off her sunglasses.
She looked like hell.
“You’re still hungover,” I said.
“And there’s only one way to kill it off,” she said. “We’ll just go slower.”
And sure enough, Lizzy had a small bottle in her bag.
I looked at Danica.
She nodded to me. “No judgement from me. Ever. You’ve been through a lot. And you walked into a lot here. And believe me, Belle…”
Her voice trailed off.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s going to get a lot worse…”
* * *
We listened to a few more songs from Uly and Hil. And each one was better than the previous. They weren’t just good. Or even great. Believe me, it wasn’t just because they were some beach town band or two hot guys that could play guitar and sing.
It was real stuff.
The music was catchy. The lyrics were so real.
And for every bit of lyrical perfection Hil sang in his voice, there was Uly, singing in his own rougher voice, almost screaming (but not) with his lyrics, which were straight up confessions from his heart.
“I bet if they didn’t use the word fuck so much they would have been more popular,” Lizzy said.
“That’s part of the song though,” I said. “That’s what makes it so good. Like nobody could tell them not to do it. Uly is such a badass for that.”
“Ut-oh,” Danica said.
She was obviously sober.
Lizzy and I were not.
Lizzy took it much easier than the last time.
But me… oops.
I sat on the daybed with my legs to my chest, wearing that comfy hoodie I bought with Jo’s credit card. Totally settled into this new life, and the drinking helped to shake away any guilt I would have normally felt.
“Ut-oh, what?” I asked Danica.
She smiled.
“Ut-oh is right,” Lizzy said. “You can’t get hard over him. Or Them.”
“Hard?” I asked.
Lizzy pointed her pointer finger straight up into the air. She giggled.
“Uh… I don’t have one of those,” I said.
“You know what she means, Belle,” Danica said. “Seriously, don’t get involved.”
“You saw what happened today,” I said.
“What happened today?” Lizzy asked.
“I already told you everything,” Danica said. “And that was scary. Normally Uly and Hil just avoid each other. Or if they actually do see each other, they talk shit as they pass by. But they were ready to go…”
“But they didn’t,” I said. “I’ve seen real fights.”
“So have we,” Lizzy said.
“They keep saying I’m chosen,” I said. “Like… come on…”
“Fuck,” Lizzy said. She burped and gasped. “Sorry. But for real, Belle… that’s what they used to do. Choose. Use. Lose. That’s their thing.”
“Let me guess,” I said, “it all fell apart over the band, right? Something happened between Uly and Hil. And those necklaces… rings? They got too close to someone and got hurt, right? Or was it some kind of rivalry thing… since Hil and Ash live together. They live together, right? Ash made a comment about their dinner table…”
“Stepbrothers, yeah,” Danica said.
“How does that work?” I asked.
Lizzy leaned forward and handed me what was left in the bottle. “I’m going to sleep. Sorry, Belle, but I’m crashing in your bed tonight. If I’m not in class tomorrow, Werthwood will be all over me.”
“Speaking of which…,” I said with a grin. “Never mind.”
I wasn’t going to tell Danica and Lizzy about almost getting caught smoking by Principal Werthwood and Hil saving me. Pressing me against the building. His hand over my mouth. Hiding. His body against mine…
I closed my eyes and I felt the room spin a few times.
This wasn’t like me.
I wasn’t guy crazy.
And I was not the kind of person who got in the middle of guy drama either.
But these three guys… Them…
“What’s their story?” I asked Danica.
Lizzy shuffled her way to the bed and jumped into it. She let out a laughing groan.
“She will literall
y sleep here like that,” Danica said.
“Not unless you drag her ass out,” I said.
“Which you know I already planned on doing.”
“You’re a good friend.”
“Am I though? Lizzy is a bitch. Keep your eyes on both hands at all times. Usually one has a knife in it.”
“What? For real?”
I hurried to stand up and the room moved away from me.
I fell forward and Danica kept me from crashing to the floor.
“Whoa,” she said. “You better drink some water or go to sleep. Or both.”
“Not until I know more. Danica, I can’t go back where I came from. Not after what happened. I have to stay here. For a little while. So I need to know. I just… why me?”
“I can’t answer that,” Danica said. “Maybe they actually like you, who knows. But chances are… they somehow know where you’re from. That you’re not actually rich or from some money.”
“So I’m an easy target,” I said. “Just some poor girl they could fuck with. That makes me want to…” I looked down for a second and then back up at Danica. No tears, Belle. No tears. “That makes me want to fight back at them. Fuck with them. Hurt them. Everyone can be hurt.”
Lizzy let out another groan. “This fucking bed is… the best…”
“She’s going make a mess on your sheets soon,” Danica said. “I have to get her out of here. Unless the three of us are sleeping in your bed, which could get crowded.”
“Stay,” I said. “I don’t want to be alone in this house anymore. At least tonight.”
Danica pulled me toward the bed. She fought with Lizzy to get her under the covers. Then she did the same with me. She nestled between Lizzy and me.
“Just a warning,” she called out. “Any of you two get sick or handsy I will hurt you. Deal?”
Lizzy was already asleep.
Danica elbowed me.
I rolled to my side. “Tell me something.”
Danica turned her head. “You’re a pain in the fucking ass, Belle.”
“Yeah… well you know what happened to me? Ash stole a page from my notebook and gave it to Miss Whitaker. Now she thinks I’m this great writer. And everywhere I turn, either Uly or Hil are there. Right in my face.”
Danica blinked fast for a few seconds. “They’re stepbrothers. Hil’s mother and Ash’s father got together. And got married. They’re both big time corporate lawyers. I heard they were working for different companies, battling each other, and things just happened.”
“Cheating?”
“No,” Danica said. “Um… their parents… well, Ash’s mother and Hil’s father… they’re gone.”
“Gone,” I said. “Okay. If it helps, I don’t know who my father is. My mother kind of just got knocked up by some guy. That’s my story.”
“Damn, Belle, I’m sorry,” Danica said. “I didn’t mean gone like that. Not like they ran out or whatever. They’re gone. Gone. I mean… dead.”
I lifted my head.
The room spun.
“What?” I asked.
Danica nodded. “They’re gone. They died. Not together or anything like that. Separate times. But I think that’s why it ended up the way it did. Samson and Vanessa. That’s Ash’s father and Hil’s mother. It works, I guess. I don’t know. It’s not my personal life. Nobody talks about it. Nobody is allowed to either. You’ll regret it. Trust me. But that’s the story, Belle. That’s why Ash and Hil live together.”
“And Uly?” I asked.
“He’s his own person with his own story. Leave it at that. Okay? Look, you want to know some stuff. Now you do. There’s a lot of stuff between the three of Them. Okay? You have to let it go. You can’t fall in love with one of Them. You can’t fix Them. The end result is hurt. It’s like the sun… it’s warm, sexy, hot, feels good, right? A nice sunny day on the beach. The ocean. The sand. Music. A drink. But if you were able to get in a rocket ship and fly close to it, what would happen?”
“You can’t get close to the sun,” I whispered.
“Why not, Belle?”
“You’d get burned. Or just die. The temp… oh.”
Danica nodded. “Oh.”
She rolled to her other side, her front facing Lizzy’s back.
I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling.
I had gotten what I asked for and I didn’t feel any better at all.
In fact… I almost felt sad.
These guys were total assholes.
But they each had a story.
Just like me.
I had a story too.
I turned my head and bit my lip.
I slowly snuck out of the bed.
“Belle?” Danica asked.
“Relax,” I said. “I need to pee. And I need a cigarette.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
I stumbled my way to the bathroom.
I really did have to pee.
And I really did need a cigarette.
But what else I had in mind… that wasn’t Danica’s business to worry about.
thirteen
I assumed the piece of paper Ash gave me was his number.
Which meant I had all of Them in my phone.
The one thing Lizzy and Danica warned me about. To stay away from Them. Yet I wasn’t able to stay away. They kept finding me. And when there was distance… I went looking for Them.
I enjoyed my cigarette and stared at an unsent text message for way too long.
Considering it was just one word.
Hey
I sent it and I sat down, putting my phone next to me.
I looked around the driveway… or parking lot… or whatever you wanted to call what it was that led up to the house. There was no sign of Jo again. I knew she had her own garage and part of the house, but it would have been nice to see her once in a while.
My phone buzzed and I looked down.
I laughed.
You’re up late, angel
I traded my cigarette for my phone.
How do you know who it is?
Ash didn’t hesitate a second to reply.
I just know. What do you want?
“Asshole,” I whispered.
But it was a good question.
What did I want?
I had booze dancing around in my head.
Logic would have been to have stayed in bed and sleep. To avoid Them like I was told to do. But since I was already on the others side of the line of logic…
To kiss you
I sent it and my face felt warm. Really warm. Really, really warm.
I thought I was going to scare Ash away with that text.
It would obviously take more than that…
So you’re finally ready to beg me…
I laughed out loud.
I’m not begging for anything. You’re the only one of Them who hasn’t…
I sent the message, feeling giddy.
There was nothing wrong with flirting.
But it depended on who you were flirting with.
My brain and my heart had the simplest excuse.
Blame it on the booze. Done. Burn. Fuck off.
Ash replied.
That’s the game, huh? You’re already chosen, angel. Now you want to mess with us.
I hurried to reply with the shrugging emoji.
Then I added…
I’m sitting here. Alone. Waiting. But not for long. Ur choice.
I waited.
Longer than the previous messages.
Maybe I actually-
It’s always my choice, Belle. See you soon.
I put the phone down and picked up my cigarette again.
My mind suddenly felt very sober.
What the hell had I just done?
* * *
I went to the back of the house.
And I walked to the beach.
For some reason that felt like the smarter thing to do.
Not that it mattered.
Ash was on his
way.
I texted him to tell him I was on the beach. Meaning he couldn’t get buzzed in to the driveway.
There was also a chance this was just a setup too.
Ash messing with me. Saying he was on his way, only to leave me standing outside like an idiot for how long? As long as I wanted to stand there…
I wished I had brought something to drink with me. That was for sure.
The ocean sounded nice though.
The sounds of the waves crashing were very soothing.
I had no memories of the ocean because we never took real vacations. The biggest things we’d do was when whatever guy my mother was dating at the time would take us somewhere. And it was usually the same thing. A stupid camping trip. Or to a cabin in the woods somewhere. And that was just an excuse for whatever guy she was dating to party. They’d get drunk, high, laugh, fight, and then have their alone time in their tent. But out in the woods… any and all sounds were heard.
It made me shiver.
I hated memories sometimes.
I turned to go back into the house when I saw movement.
Then I saw Ash.
Walking along the beach, as beautiful as ever.
Beautiful? Really? Is that how you want to describe a guy?
I nodded.
It was how I wanted to describe a guy.
It was how I wanted to describe Ash.
And he wasn’t beautiful in the sense of looking like a clean cut good boy.
He looked pissed.
Which was why nobody talked to him or got in his way.
“You showed up,” I said. “How thoughtful of you. I figured you would-”
Ash didn’t stop moving.
I stopped talking long enough for him to slip his hands to my sides and hold me steady so he could kiss me.
His lips were…
Ooohhh.
He pulled away and my bottom lip quivered, begging for more.
I tried to scream in my mind that he was never going to get me to beg for anything but I was wrong. Very, very wrong.
Ash took his hands from my sides and then I stupidly grabbed my sides like his hands were still there.
He backed away and wasn’t going to stop.
So I had to charge after him.
My hands were finally at my sides.
But I was still drunk.
“Wait a second,” I called out.
“For what, angel?” Ash asked. “We got what we wanted.”
NOT SO Innocent: a bay falls high novel Page 13