I blinked fast, my eyes burning and tearing up.
“She’s not worth it,” Lizzy said to me. “Her father is ruthless too. You touch her and it won’t end well for you, Jo, or your mother. Believe me.”
I looked at Lizzy, then I quoted Danica. “You know, when people say believe me, that means they don’t believe themselves.”
“Belle,” Lizzy said.
I stepped toward Sophie.
She curled her lip. She was like a perfect toy. Everything in the right place. Everything the perfect size for her size.
“You can eat the sand here,” Sophie whispered. “I’m sure it tastes better than whatever shit they fed you where you used to live.”
“She’s from one of those places where people take videos of the rats carrying a moldy slice of pizza, right?” Maya asked.
Her bubbly, blonde laugh was like someone screeching in my ear.
Maybe Lizzy was right about Sophie and her father. Or maybe it was just all rumor.
But… she didn’t say anything about Maya.
I swung my right hand without looking.
The moment I connected with Maya’s mouth, she screamed.
I didn’t move my eyes from Sophie’s.
Lila grabbed for me but Sophie put her hand to Lila’s hand.
“It’s okay,” Sophie said.
“Don’t fuck with me or my friends,” I said to Sophie. “Not sure who you think I am.”
“I’m bleeding,” Maya cried out. “I’m fucking bleeding.”
I turned my head and Maya had the smallest cut on her lip I ever saw.
“Oopsies,” I said.
I stepped back onto the towel and then sat down.
“I can make you disappear,” Sophie said to me.
I laughed. “I can make myself disappear. I know I don’t belong here. But I’m starting to like it here. If I can piss you off and tease your boyfriend at the same time, why not?”
Sophie’s eyes widened.
She stepped toward me and Lila blocked her way.
I don’t know what was said and I didn’t really care.
All I knew was that the three bitches walked away.
“Wow,” Lizzy said.
“You’re going to pay for that one, Belle, but it was cool,” Danica said.
“Fuck them,” I said. “I never did anything wrong to anyone here. And everyone is coming after me like I did. Fuck everyone. And fuck you both too. You knew that Uly was with me and you didn’t say anything? You hide it?”
“You hid it first,” Lizzy said.
“Because it was nothing,” I said. Digging that lie just a little bit more, huh? “He was being his usual prick self and I told him to leave. I don’t know who they think they are… but I’m not going to fall for their games.”
Danica put a hand to my shoulder. “You already are, Belle.”
Lizzy leaned toward me. “That’s what scares us the most.”
* * *
I split up from Lizzy and Danica and went back to Jo’s.
I showered and came out to two missed calls from my mother. And a text from her saying I didn’t answer my phone and she wanted to talk to me.
It made me roll my eyes.
Her version of wanting to talk was never anything good.
I didn’t feel all that bad not calling her back.
Not as I stood at the arched window above the daybed that overlooked the beach in the mansion that I now lived in. Or the fact that I was going to drive a six figure car in a little bit.
I did text Sarah though.
Just to say hey. And to tell her I missed her. And to tell her I wanted her to come visit.
Then my phone started going off like crazy.
First a text from Sarah.
OMFG. First off I miss you. Second off I need to tell you a crazy story about Taylor.
I couldn’t wait to hear the story.
My mother called again and I accidentally answered the call.
“No,” I whispered.
“Hello to you too.”
“Mom. Hey. Sorry. I was doing something else. Some writing assignment.”
“So that’s why you ignore me now?”
“I’m not ignoring you,” I said.
My phone vibrated.
It was a text from Sarah.
All I saw were the words Taylor and pregnant.
I gasped. “Oh, fuck.”
“Belle!” Mom yelled.
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m in the middle… sorry. Hey. Hi. How are you?”
My mother sighed. “I wanted to share some news with you.”
“Okay. I’m listening.”
“Are you?”
My phone vibrated again.
I hurried to text Sarah.
Give me a minute. Mom on phone. UGH
“I’m all ears,” I said to my mother. “All ears for you, Mom.”
“I’m sitting in my car outside The Spring Lakefield.”
“Okay…”
“I live here now. I mean, we live here now.”
“What?” I asked.
My mother laughed. “Jo came through for us. I knew she would. You can’t imagine this, Belle. A few of her colleagues… they asked me to clean for them. Doctors. Cleaning for doctors. You know how big those houses can be…”
I looked around my bedroom at Jo’s house.
“Yeah, big houses,” I said.
“Big houses and big money,” Mom said. “And get this, Belle. One of the doctors… her one friend’s sister-in-law… stay with me here… she’s the property manager for The Spring Lakefield. And they were looking for help! Office help. Cleaning. That kind of stuff. Not really much money to be made, except I get to live here. For free.” She paused for a few seconds. “Did you hear that? For free!”
“I heard, Mom. That’s great.”
“It’s one of the loft apartments,” she said. “So technically it’s one bedroom. That’s the first level, right? There’s a bedroom with its own bathroom. Then there are stairs to the loft. That’s where the other bathroom is. Along with the laundry… but the point is simple. We have a place to live now. Without worry of anyone. And I have plenty of work. Good work, too. Not that bar and restaurant stuff.”
I didn’t smile.
I couldn’t picture my mother sticking with this new work routine. Or better yet, her being near wealthy doctors. I knew her tendencies and what she would do to get what she wanted…
Like have an affair with a married, rich man?
Ding! Ding! Ding! You just won a new car!
“Belle, are you there?”
“I’m here,” I said. “I’m… I’m shocked. I mean, so much has happened so fast.”
“I told you Jo would help. And you don’t even have to go back to that old place, Belle. That place was no good for you. You deserved better and you’ll have it now.”
“I just got here to Jo’s,” I said. “I mean… you know…”
“You think you’re going to live there?” Mom asked, laughing.
“No. I didn’t say that. But… you should focus on yourself. I don’t mean that to sound mean. I mean, I’m an adult. I know you hate when I say that. But I’m… you can really do something for yourself.”
“Right. For myself. So I just end up alone. That’ll be good for me. Work all day. Then walk to my apartment. This big apartment. The one I was finally able to get. And I get to be alone.”
“I didn’t say that,” I said. I sighed. “Mom, I’m literally in the middle of something. It has to do with my writing. It’s a big project. I’m really sorry I can’t talk more.”
“Well, since you can’t talk… I mean, if you’re happy… but you should be here. Where you belong. That life over there isn’t the forever kind of life for you, Belle.”
“I never said it was,” I said. “Mom, I’m happy for you. I’m proud of you. A lot has happened though.”
“And I’m not capable of handling a lot? You have no idea, Belle…”
; My phone buzzed.
Another text from Sarah.
Hellooooo?! You need to hear this!
“Mom, I have to go.”
“I guess I should go too,” she said. “I got our favorite Chinese food… I’m going to have dinner. Alone.”
The call went dead.
I put my head back.
Maybe I got my artist brain from my mother.
Her flair for the dramatics was something else.
It attracted the wrong kind of men and always ended up hurting her. But she sure knew how to make someone feel like crap.
I set my sights on Sarah.
This better be good… my mother just gave me the guilt trip of a lifetime.
I hit send.
Then I went back and read Sarah’s other message.
So Taylor… told me she’s pregnant
I gasped.
I started to pace the bedroom.
My heart raced.
I couldn’t imagine… pregnant…
And the guys that Taylor were into.
Sarah was typing me a book.
I must have put a mile of walking in the room by the time the message came through.
OMG so she tells me that. I thought she missed her period and took a test and everything, right? I mean, that’s the normal thing to do. But not Taylor. She showed me her stomach and wanted to know if she looked fat. Oh, I hate that girl for that stuff. I laughed and told her she was probably bloated. Then she told me she doesn’t remember the last time she got her period. I was like ‘oh fuck’ …
I let out a groan.
Sarah was typing more to me.
I sat on the corner of my bed when the message came through.
I freaked out. She did too. So we hurried to come up with enough money to buy a pregnancy test. We were going crazy, Belle. She started to cry. I was like… wow. You know? I mean, pregnant? Damn. So anyway. We get this test and bring it back to my place. My mother was still working. She goes into the bathroom. Guess what? She’s not pregnant. But that’s not the crazy part of the story. Ready for the rest?
“Oh, come on,” I whispered.
I decided to just call Sarah.
I couldn’t sit around for hours waiting for this story to end.
“Why are you calling me?”
“Hello to you too,” I said. "I can't stand waiting for the texts.”
“Shit, my mother is home,” she whispered. “Let me get outside quick.”
Sarah shuffled to the door. It slammed shut behind her. That meant she was out on the old deck. That thing terrified me. It always felt like it was going to rip from the house.
“Ready?” she asked.
“This better be good.”
“Oh, Belle, it’s amazing. So she’s not pregnant, right? There’s a sense of relief on her face. And in her stomach size… like you can tell she’s calmed down. And the bathroom. Ohmygod… it did not smell good.”
“What?” I asked. “Did you really call me to tell me that Taylor took a-”
“Listen to me,” Sarah said. “This is crazy stuff. She went out with some dude. From another town. They met up and got tacos. Right? Taylor said he was the hottest guy she had ever seen in her life. And she just kept eating tacos and staring. She lost all of her game near this guy. So much so that she… she ate too much. You know?”
“No. I don’t know.”
“She was full. She had these feelings… to pass gas…”
“Ew.”
“She held it all in,” Sarah said. “They ended up hanging out for a while and then this super-hot guy was a perfect gentleman and only kissed her. Taylor was floating and since she held everything for so long, she ended up freaking out, thinking she was pregnant. She told me it figures she’d get knocked up after meeting a hot guy.”
“So she…”
“Oh yeah,” Sarah said. “She must have taken the pregnancy test, saw it was negative, and then just let it all go. I’m surprised I didn’t hear it. But the smell…”
“I’m going to get sick if you keep talking about it,” I said.
Sarah laughed. “I told her she was the dumbest person I ever met in my life. How fucking stupid could you be? She was bloated from eating too many tacos and thought she was pregnant.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s all I can say right now.”
“Yeah. How’s your life going?”
I looked around the massive bedroom. “I don’t even know where to start, Sarah.”
“Well, I was texting you because I was getting ready to leave. I promised my mother I’d have dinner with her. You know, cheesy bonding time. So she could feel good about herself. So I kind of have to go. But you can text anything you want.”
“I won’t bother you during bonding time,” I said.
I could hear Sarah’s eyes rolling though the phone.
“Later, bitch,” Sarah said.
She hung up before I could say goodbye.
I tossed my phone behind me and shook my head.
Everything was definitely all mixed up.
And to think I could stop it all just by doing what my mother said.
Go back home.
Live in a nice apartment.
Have my best friend back.
Go back to what I knew in life.
And it would be comfort knowing someone like Jo was always there.
Best of all, I’d be far away from BFH.
Far away from Uly. Hil. Ash.
Them.
It was the right thing to do.
The easy thing to do.
The common sense thing to do.
I could have packed my bags right then and just left.
But I didn’t.
sixteen
Miss Whitaker’s house was amazing.
The size of the house did not match up to her job.
There was no way someone teaching creative writing at BFH could get paid enough to own this kind of house. Which meant there was more to her mysterious story.
Everyone had a story.
And I didn’t like my sudden addiction to knowing all these stories.
It wasn’t an obscenely big house either.
It was elegant yet comforting.
The house itself was white with windows that had a cross shape on each one. Heavy curtains covered up the inside but a light was in each window.
The front walkway had no porch, but rather a concrete slab that was filled with all kinds of flowers. It was almost like walking into a garden to get to her front door. Two white pillars held up the small roof over the walkway. Green vines climbed and twisted around each pillar.
It almost reminded me of some house in the woods in a fairy tale or something.
It was a perfect mix of fancy yet laid back.
Which was kind of like Miss Whitaker.
I stood at the front door and cleared my throat.
The door itself was a dark orange color. Kind of like amber but not really.
Amber… eyes… Ash…
He was the reason I was here.
Because he stole that piece of paper out of my notebook and handed it in to Miss Whitaker.
And now I was here, handing in another assignment so I could get my notebook back from her.
It was maddening, yet I wasn’t all that mad.
If I was going to be tossed around BFH, I liked having an outlet like this one.
I lifted my hand and my nose twitched.
I smelled cigarette smoke.
My heart sank.
I spun around, expecting to see Uly or Hil.
That they had followed me.
That they…
There was nobody there.
But the smell was.
I slowly turned toward the door again.
Then I heard a laugh.
“You can knock if you want.”
I screamed.
I looked to my right and there was Miss Whitaker.
On a wooden bench swing that hung from the small roof.
And she was smoking.
I pointed to her and slowly took a few steps.
She had one leg up, wearing jeans with holes in the knees. Her bare kneecap stuck right through the jeans. She was in what looked like an old BFH hoodie. The sleeves were frayed and stretched, the neck cut down a few inches.
And her hair was put up in the messiest top bun I had ever seen in my life.
“Miss Whitaker?” I asked.
“You can call me Lake here,” she said.
“You’re smoking.”
“I am?” she asked. She looked around. She smiled. “You know, a guy once used that line on me. Said I was smoking and he wanted to put me out. I had no idea what the point of the pickup line was.”
“What…”
“I am human, Belle,” she said.
“You smoke.”
“You do too.”
“But I’m…”
“What? Allowed to? Because you’re nineteen and cool?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“So you showed up. That’s good. Do you have the assignment?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Plenty to write about when it comes to the word heart.”
“I hope it’s not something stupid about how heart and fart rhyme.”
I shook my head.
Then I thought about Taylor.
Well, there is a story I could tell you, Miss Whitaker…
I smiled. “It’s good. It’s a poem. You’ll like it.”
“Of course I will,” she said. “Just wonder how deep you went. Is it about your first love? Your second love? Or your next love?”
“What if it’s about more than one heart?” I asked.
“Oh, I like,” Miss Whitaker said. She stood up from the swing and smoked her cigarette. It was so weird to see. “A love triangle.”
“More than that.”
Her eyes went wider. “Well then. Someone is either trying to break hearts or trying to get rid of her own for good.”
I held my hand out with a piece of paper. “You’ll have to read to find out.”
“Then let’s go read it,” she said. “I’m sure you want your notebook back, right?”
“Well, yeah,” I said. “It’s important to me.”
Miss Whitaker flicked her cigarette out to the walkway like such a badass, I was jaw dropped.
“Hope you don’t mind I did that,” she said to me. I watched the smoke coming from her mouth. “I don’t often get people like you around here, Belle. These entitled assholes just pass through looking for a grade to move on with life. But you seem to get it. And I promise it’s not about becoming famous or anything. Just being able to write like you do is amazing. Just wanted to say that.”
NOT SO Innocent: a bay falls high novel Page 16