by A. T Brennan
Zander’s words hit home for me. They were essentially the same thing Levi and my mom had been saying for the past few years, but they meant so much more coming from Zander.
“Come on. Let’s go in and see what we can do to give back.”
I nodded, a newfound sense of peace settling over me. As much as I’d known my jobs didn’t affect how Zander saw me, a part of me had been afraid it would become an issue when the novelty wore off. His words assured me that wasn’t the case, and I felt lighter than I had in years.
Chapter Nineteen
Kai
By the time we got back to Zander’s house, I was in awe of Open Arms and what they did. I’d known there were LGBT+ youth shelters around, but I’d never thought about what went into running them.
Jonah had taken us on a tour and told us about all the programs they offered. It was more than just a place for kids to stay. They’d created a community where kids could go to have a safe space to hang out with others like themselves, and even get counseling to overcome trauma and addictions. They ran events and did a lot of outreach and fundraising. It was incredible work, and I felt guilty for not thinking of volunteering sooner.
I was lucky. My dad might have abandoned me, but I had a mother who loved and supported me. I had someone, and so many kids had no one.
When Jonah suggested I sign up to be a tutor, I’d jumped at the chance. It would work with my school schedule, and I was good at math and science, which were tough subjects for a lot of people.
Zander signed up for the mentoring program, which was a newer version of what he’d done before. He was going to be assigned a group of older youths who would be looking to get into the workforce. It would be his job to teach them about writing resumes, interview etiquette, and everything else that went into getting a job.
He’d also talked to Jonah about the plaque.
Jonah had known about the attack, but he hadn’t known that Kaden had been Zander’s partner. He’d promised to talk to Christianne, the founder of the shelter, and see what her thoughts were. He was worried that reminding, and in most cases, informing, the teens who used the shelter that someone had been attacked outside their doors might be detrimental to their mission. But he also agreed that Kaden deserved to have some sort of memorial. It wasn’t a promise, but I could tell it made Zander feel more at peace with everything.
We spent the evening eating takeout and watching movies as we cuddled together on the couch. We didn’t talk much, but I kept a close eye on Zander and his moods. He seemed to be doing okay. There were times he would zone out or tense up while we were cuddling as his mind wandered, but a quick squeeze on his thigh seemed to bring him back to reality pretty quick.
After watching three movies, we shut off the TV and went to Zander’s bedroom. I had to get up at seven so I could get to class on time. If Zander hadn’t offered to drive me, I would have had to get up at six or earlier.
“Thank you for today.” Zander pulled me up against his body as we settled on the bed.
“I already told you, you don’t have to thank me for being there for you. That’s what boyfriends do.” I dropped a kiss on his firm chest and looked up at him.
“I know you did, but I still want to thank you. I don’t know if I could have handled today without you.”
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I leaned up so I could kiss him.
I’d meant to give him a quick kiss before curling back up next to him, but Zander had other ideas. The moment my lips touched his, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and my hip. He effortlessly pulled me on top of him, and I straddled his stomach as his tongue swept into my mouth.
I moaned against his lips as his hands shifted so he could thread them through my hair, pushing it back from my face.
His erection pressed into the back of my thigh as my own cock grew hard between us. Still kissing me like his life depended on it, Zander began rocking his hips. I was too high up on his body for him to feel the friction, but I certainly did.
My dick slid between our bodies, rubbing against the soft material of my briefs. I could feel my precum leaking into them, creating a wet spot at the head of my cock.
“Fuck.” I pulled away from Zander and looked down at him. This wasn’t taking it slow; this said he wanted to fuck. “Are you sure?”
“I’m done waiting.” Zander’s eyes were bright and his face was flushed as he looked up at me. “I love you, Kai. I need to be with you, completely.”
I nodded and bent to give him a quick kiss. “I love you too, Zander. And I need you so fucking bad.”
A low growl escaped Zander’s throat, the sound going right to my dick and making it ache with need. I expected Zander to roll us over so he was on top, but he just pulled me down so he could continue kissing the shit out of me.
His hands were all over me, stroking every inch of my skin that he could reach. He kneaded the globes of my ass, scratched his nails up and down my back, and rubbed my legs. The only part of me he stayed away from was my cock.
He pushed down my briefs, still kissing me as I went into a plank over him, and he used his feet to strip them off. It took a bit of maneuvering, but I managed to do the same with his.
“Fuck me, please,” I begged when Zander finally broke the kiss.
My entire body was so tight with desire it was almost humming. I needed Zander like I needed my next breath.
Zander shifted so he could reach into the bedside table and pulled out a condom and the lube. He handed me the foil packet, and I sat up as I ripped it open and pulled out the condom.
“No, put it on yourself.” He put his hand over mine as I moved to put the protection on him.
“What?” I stilled, my eyes widening in shock.
“I want you to fuck me.”
“I’ve only done it once before, a really long time ago.” I swallowed. “Are you sure?”
The thought of topping Zander was almost too much. I wanted to, so bad, but he needed to know the truth before we moved forward.
“I’m sure.”
“Have you ever bottomed before?” I had to ask. We’d never talked about if he, or I, was vers. We’d just adopted the roles of him being the top to my bottom.
“No.”
“Zander—”
“Please, Kai. I trust you.”
His words hit me deep in my chest, causing love and heat to bloom out from my very core.
Instead of answering, I leaned down to kiss him before shifting so I was between his spread legs. I rolled the condom on and took the lube bottle he handed me.
“How do you want this?” I asked, needing to make sure he was comfortable.
“Like this. I want to be able to see you.”
I nodded and dropped the lube on the bed. If I was going to do this, then I sure as hell was going to do it right. “Pull your legs up.”
Zander did as I asked, pulling his legs so his knees were against his chest and he was opened up to me. I dropped soft kisses on the backs of his thighs before moving down to kiss his exposed cheeks.
I’d never rimmed anyone before, but I remembered how incredible it had felt when Zander had done it to me, and I wanted to do the same for him.
“Fuck.” Zander shuddered as I blew a breath over his waiting hole.
I lay on the bed, adjusting my dick so I wasn’t crushing it and used my hands to split Zander open. I pressed my tongue into his crease, and licked up until I reached his balls.
Zander gasped, his hips canting slightly as he chased my tongue. That move gave me the confidence I needed to put aside my fears of not being able to please him, and I lowered my mouth to his entrance.
“Fuck!” Zander’s body tensed as I teased his hole with my tongue. “Yes, Kai,” he encouraged breathlessly, his voice strained and his body tight.
I licked and kissed and probed at his hole until I felt the muscles soften, and I was able to work the tip of my tongue inside him. Zander was crying out, begging me to keep going, and I had to fight not
to let his words push my own arousal up too high.
“Shit, stop.”
I pulled away immediately, but before I could freak out that I’d done something wrong, Zander pulled me up so I was against his chest.
“I got too close. You almost made me come.”
“Fuck that’s hot.” I covered his mouth with mine, kissing him with everything I had. My dick was so hard it was impersonating a steel pipe, and Zander’s was doing the same.
“Now, please. I need you inside me.” Zander begged against my kiss.
I pulled away and sat back on my heels. The condom I’d put on was partially filled with precum and feeling a bit lose and slippery.
“Do you have another one?” I asked as I pulled off the sticky condom.
“You’re negative?”
“Yes.” I looked up at him.
“So am I.” His hand reached out so he could gently stroke my cheek. “Don’t use one. I want to feel all of you.”
I swallowed, catching his hand with mine so I could turn my head and press a kiss into his palm.
“I love you.”
“I love you,” he echoed and pulled his hand back.
I picked up the lube and quickly slicked up my cock. I squirted a fair amount on my fingers and rubbed them over Zander’s hole.
“Just push some in and work me open. I’m so fucking ready for you, babe.”
I pressed my finger against his hole and waited for his body to accept it before I began to push in. I paused when I’d sunk in to the first knuckle, then continued to push until it was all the way inside him.
“Another. I’m good.”
I pulled my finger almost all the way out of him and added a second. His body seemed to accept the change, and I was able to slide home on the first push.
Unlike Zander, my dick wasn’t all that thick. I was long, but I didn’t have to worry about my girth being too much for him. I twisted my fingers a few times, gently scissoring them as I urged his body to open up for me.
“Now, I need you now.”
I pulled my fingers out of him and gripped my cock. “Put your legs up on my shoulders.”
Zander did as I asked, the soft hair on his legs tickling my skin as he leaned his heavy legs on me. This was a better position. I still had leverage, and he wasn’t all curled up in a ball.
I leaned forward and positioned the head of my dick against his hole. I had to push a bit to breach his outer ring of muscles, but when the head of my cock slid into his tight heat, I had to bite my lip to distract myself with a little pain.
“Fuck, Kai. That’s it,” he encouraged. “More.”
I rocked my hips, pushing into him a little bit at a time as his body stretched around me. He felt incredible. His inner walls were warm and tight, gripping my cock as I moved further inside him. When my thighs were finally flush with his ass, we were both breathing heavily.
Zander slid his legs down so they circled my waist, and I braced my hands on either side of his hips. I wished I was tall enough to kiss him, but I settled for looking into his eyes instead, which was even more intimate if I was going to be honest.
“Fuck, yeah.” Zander nodded, his gaze locked on mine as one hand held my forearm, and the other gripped the sheets.
“Fuck, Zander.” I couldn’t hold back any longer and began snapping my hips, thrusting inside him hard and fast. I worried it was too much too soon, but Zander’s cries of pleasure assured me that he was enjoying it as much as I was.
I tried to hold out as long as possible, not wanting the moment to end, but I felt my orgasm creeping up on me. My thighs were tight, and a tingle was spreading through my lower back. I didn’t want to finish first, so I sat back on my heels and spat into my hand before grabbing Zander’s cock.
“Oh fuck, yes!”
Between my flexibility and shorter frame, this position was perfect. I worked his cock with long, hard drags, matching one pull of my hand to every other thrust of my hips.
“Oh god. You’re going to fuck the cum right out of me,” Zander grabbed his knees and pulled his legs so they were spread and splayed open. “Yes, babe. Fuck me!”
His dirty talk was killing me. I loved it, but it was pushing me toward my own orgasm. I pressed the fingers of my free hand against his taint. His balls were high and tight, and I felt his body contract and clench as soon as I began rubbing against the sensitive area.
“Fuck!”
Zander’s orgasm exploded out of him. His body gripped and held my cock deep inside him as his walls rippled, and cum shot onto his chest.
“Oh fuck!” I cried out, my hips moving almost of their own accord as I spilled deep inside him, fucking him through the aftershocks that rocked us both.
“Holy fucking shit.” I collapsed on Zander’s sticky chest when I was finally done and empty, feeling both breathless and boneless. That had been incredible.
Zander’s arms tightened around me as he held me against his heaving body. My softening dick slipped out of him, and as soon as I was free, Zander pulled me up so he could kiss me.
“Was that okay?” I asked tentatively when I was settled against his chest again.
“You heard me beg you to fuck me and saw me shoot cum all over myself, right?” He gave me a patient and sated smile. “That was amazing, babe.”
“It really was.”
“You think it’s something you’ll want to do again?”
“Really?” I asked hopefully.
“Definitely.”
“Hell, yeah.”
“Good.”
“We should shower.”
“We should,” he agreed, but neither of us moved. “We can shower in the morning. We’ll just clean up a bit.”
Zander reached into his bedside table and pulled out a packet of baby wipes.
“I never would have thought to use those. I usually use a T-shirt.” I watched as he pulled a few free and wiped off his chest. He handed me a couple so I could wipe down my dick and chest, and he discreetly cleaned his ass as well. “These are much better.”
Zander tossed the wipes in the trashcan and pulled me against his body as he lay back down.
“We should get tested anyway. So that we’re both one hundred percent sure.”
“I agree. We can go next week when we both have some time off.” Zander kissed my temple and brushed my hair back from my forehead.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” He kissed my temple again and sighed. “I’m going to sleep so good tonight.”
“Me too,” I agreed.
“Night, Kai.”
“Goodnight, Zander.”
I snuggled against his broad chest and smiled sleepily. I was in bed being held by the man I loved. Not only did he love me too, but he’d also given me complete control of his body and pleasure. I was happier than I’d ever been in my life.
Chapter Twenty
Zander
The next morning was hectic. I’d set an alarm, but it had taken a bit of time to get out of bed. I would have loved to roll us over and fuck Kai until we were both screaming, but he had a class to get to. Instead, we settled for a quick sideways sixty-nine. Considering our height difference, it worked well, and we both came in under five minutes.
When we were able to move again, we showered together, taking a little more time than necessary to wash each other. Then I made Kai some coffee and a sandwich to take with him.
I drove him to campus and followed his directions to his first class.
“I wish I could see you tonight,” I said as I stopped in a loading zone. Fuck traffic laws. I’d be gone in a minute.
“Me too.” He turned to face me. “Tomorrow? Maybe before you have to go to work?”
“Don’t you have stuff you need to do before you dance?”
“Nothing that won’t keep.”
“Perfect.” I leaned forward and gave him a lingering kiss. “Send me another dance video?”
“Definitely.” He pressed another kiss against my
lips and smiled. “Have a good day.”
“You too.”
I watched as he opened the door and climbed out of my car.
“Hey, Kai!” I called out as he was about to close the door.
“Yeah?” He bent down and looked at me.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” He grinned and blew me a kiss before closing the door. I watched him hurry off, shamelessly checking out his ass.
I still couldn’t believe it.
I’d still been awake when Kai had told me he loved me as he’d fallen asleep, and relief and joy had instantly washed over me.
Yesterday should have been harder. Or more correctly, I’d thought it would be. Kai’s presence had been soothing and grounding, and his support had been incredible.
Going back to Open Arms, seeing how things had changed and volunteering again, had given me closure. And Kai’s suggestion of a memorial for Kaden had touched something deep inside me.
He was so kind and caring, and he loved me. As fucked up and broken as I’d been when we’d met, he’d still been able to not only see the good in me but help bring it back. He wasn’t the reason I’d changed; he was the motivation for me wanting to.
A part of me had been worried that he hadn’t meant the words, that they’d just slipped out as he’d fallen asleep and it wasn’t true. I’d lain awake for a long time, just holding him close and thinking about my life and how things had changed so drastically in the short time I’d known him.
He was amazing, and he was mine.
I jumped when someone honked their horn up the street. For a moment, I’d gotten lost in thought. Instead of slipping back into my musings, I started my car and checked the road behind me to see if it was safe to pull out. I had all day to think about Kai. Right now I needed to go home and crawl back into bed to catch a few more hours of sleep.
“YOU LOOK RESTED,” EVAN commented as he came into the office. We were experiencing a rare Friday night lull, so I’d ducked into the office to get a head start on the closing paperwork, and watch the video Kai had sent me again.