Tiernan ignored his brother’s stinging criticism. He could only focus on one thought in his mind at that moment. His overwhelming jealousy. “I can see you’ve been having many little heart to heart chats. Are you sure you don’t want Shive for yourself, Cian?”
“Oh for Heaven’s sake, Tiernan, what a ridiculous question!” Cian exploded.
For a moment Tiernan thought his brother was going to try to defend his actions.
He was completely taken aback when Cian shouted, “What man in his right mind wouldn’t want Shive? She is beautiful, accomplished, and braver than anyone I’ve ever met. She's clear-thinking, a clever strategist, and she cares for people in a completely unselfish way which is refreshing to see after watching Orla trail around this place looking to use people for her own advantage. Shive isn’t ambitious for herself, but for our whole family. She wants to be a good wife to you, if only you’ll let her.
“Of course I love her! What man wouldn’t! But I know I could never stand a chance with her. Her sense of duty and obligation are greater even than her own emotions and preferences. Not that I’m saying she prefers me. Far from it. She cares for you, I’m sure of it. Please, Tiernan, before it’s too late, try to appreciate her for what she is. Let go of your suspicions before they poison all you share with your wife. And above all, stop trying to wrap Shive up in swaddling clothes and protect her. She can look after herself.”
Tiernan was tired of always being made to feel he was in the wrong. “Oh, can she now?” he bit out sarcastically. “And what would you say if I told you that someone tried to poison her on the day we were married?”
Cian’s jaw dropped. It was some moments before he was able to speak. He finally answered coolly, “So you don’t really care about Shive at all. You’re just keeping her here because she has nowhere else to go, and is unaware of the danger lurking?”
“I, I didn’t say that!”
“Never mind now.” Cian waved away Tiernan’s splutterings impatiently. “I want you to tell me everything about this supposed poisoning of Shive.”
“You remember Shive was very ill after we got married. You were out hunting the next day when her father and eldest cousin, Parthalan, turned up demanding to see her, to make sure she as well in my hands.
“When I explained Shive was ill with fever, Uistean insisted he would take her back home with him to be tended since I couldn’t be trusted. He wouldn't step foot inside my castle, so I had to get her out of bed to reassure him she was still alive before he would finally give up his threats and leave.”
Cian frowned. “But why would he come to see whether she were all right, unless someone had poisoned her at her home and hoped we would get the blame?”
“That’s exactly the conclusion I came to. Shive ate the same food as all the rest of us, so the poison couldn’t possibly have been administered here. Besides, we’ve already lost so much. It would be a disaster for us if Shive were to be killed. It would only cause further enmity between our families. The only trouble is, where did the poisoning occur? At Skeard or Rathnamagh? Until I get any further clues, surely we must consider Shive to be at great risk.”
Realization suddenly dawned on the younger man’s face. Cian stared at his brother, stunned. “Mahon and Ernin? You’ve had them following Shive everywhere, haven’t you?”
Tiernan nodded. “When I saw their reaction to her illness, it was easy enough to see that they weren’t to blame. They're terribly fond of her. The prospect of losing her was more than they could bear. But you’re right, they've been keeping a close eye on her, apart from that that silly tournament all of you engaged in behind my back.”
Cian sought to defend himself. “If I had known...”
He waved his hand wearily and slumped into his chair with a sigh.
Cian sat across from him, looking sheepish.
“It makes no difference now, Brother. Shive is a very wilful young woman. But at least I’m certain now that no one here means her harm. After all, they could have taken the opportunity to injure or even kill her in any one of a dozen training sessions. Yet she's come away from nearly everyone of them unscathed.
“But now I have to go away, and sooner or later, now that it’s nearly summer, I'm going to have to deal with the fact that I have to be away a great deal if Ruairi calls for a campaign season. And though I’ve made sure she's kept busy, Shive will want to leave Castlegarren at some point. When that happens, what can I possibly tell her? Do I keep watch on her night and day? And for how long? I can’t keep her locked up here forever. But how you think Shive would react if I told her someone in her own family had tried to poison her? She would never believe me, and I would most certainly lose her.”
“So you actually care about losing her, then?” Cian asked softly.
Tiernan sighed, and ran his fingers through his lush dark hair. “I’ve tried to fight against it, Cian, but I do. I even gave that order for you to come with me tomorrow because I’m so damned jealous of the easy relationship you seem to have with her. Every time I try to be friendly with her, I end up taking her to bed.”
“Is that so wrong, Tiernan? After all, Shive is your wife.”
“The truth is, I don’t want her to end up like Mother, with all the spirit taken out of her from too may pregnancies, too many miscarriages, stillbirths, and dead babies. It wore her out in the end. Besides, Shive is so young and innocent, I feel like an absolute brute wanting her so much,” Tiernan confessed candidly.
Cian absorbed what Tiernan had told him in silence for several moments before asking, “And Shive? How does she feel?”
“You can’t discuss such things with a woman!” Tiernan exclaimed, shocked.
Cian smiled slowly. “Yet you can discuss them with me?”
“She er, oh damn it, she's the most exciting woman I’ve ever met. I have all to do to stop myself from making love to her a dozen times a night. There, is that what you wanted to hear?” Tiernan growled, looking decidedly uncomfortable.
“Lucky devil! I’m sure you don’t deserve her, old man. But one last question, Tiernan. Why stop yourself if you want her so badly? Why hold back? Shive won’t break.”
“Because of my fears over her becoming with child, for one. For another, it seems like I’m taking advantage of her youth and inexperience.”
“She’s your wife. You're not taking advantage.”
“But what if she eventually decides to divorce me?”
Cian stared at his brother open-mouthed. “Why on earth would she ever want to do that? She’s happy here. You would make her even happier if only you weren’t so stiff and unyielding.”
“How can she possibly care about me when everyone suspects me of her brother’s murder?”
“Stranger things have happened. You have a great deal in common with one another, not least the good times you all spent together many years ago when Fiachra was still alive. If you haven’t got a chance to be happy with those points in your favor, then what chance have the rest of us? Or has Shive said she blames you? Is that why you always seem to be arguing with one another?”
“No, on the contrary. She says she thinks me innocent, though God only knows what could have led her to such a conclusion.” Tiernan shook his head doubtfully.
“If she said that, why do you insist upon throwing up obstacles between you two where none should exist?”
“I think Shive is just saying she thinks me innocent in order to keep the peace, perhaps because she's frightened of me. I have been rather harsh with her once or twice. Or perhaps she said it because she’s worried she’ll have no place else to go if the marriage fails,” Tiernan speculated.
Cian shook his head vehemently. “I think you're underestimating her, Tiernan. Shive doesn’t strike me as a coward. And I’ve never known her to lie about anything. She’s stood up to you on several occasions, and would probably do it more were it not for the fact that you make her feel inadequate at every turn.
“Why do you think she works all the hou
rs God sends on her various businesses? You should know if you’re sharing a bed with her that she’s up at cock crow every morning baking bread with her own two hands, working on the loom, milking the cows, and getting breakfast for the entire household. Even if you threw her out tomorrow, Shive would survive.
“Shive’s not staying here because she has nowhere else to go. She stays because she chooses to be here. No one forced her to marry you. Nor did any one force you to marry her. You care deeply about her, Tiernan. I can see it all now. Stop thinking so much, and just feel. Then act on those feelings. I think you love one another, with the kind of love that only comes along once in a lifetime.”
“I’ve already experienced that, remember? I thought I was in love. Look how Grainne betrayed me!”
“That was three years ago, Tiernan. At any rate, ask yourself this question. Could you honestly imagine having spent every day and night with her, of having children, and growing old together with Grainne Maguire?”
Tiernan sighed and stared out of window moodily.
“All right, there’s no need to answer me now. But one last piece of brotherly advice. You’ll never forgive yourself if you lose Shive. And it's foolish to pine for something you can never have when there's something even better right in front of your nose.”
Tiernan sighed raggedly. “Cian, I appreciate everything you’ve said. I’m sorry I was so jealous and foolish. You stay here at Castlegarren, and look after Shive for me. I’ll take Ernin with me on a tour of the estate instead. But promise me, if there’s any trouble, you’ll send word to me.”
“Shive takes care of herself very well, Tiernan. But in light of what you’ve just told me about the poisoning, I'll keep her close by me at the workshop and the training sessions, and be extra vigilant from now on,” Cian promised.
Tiernan clasped his brother’s hand firmly in his own, and nodded.
“Many thanks. There's no one here at Castlegarren whom I would trust more.” Tiernan smiled slightly.
Cian bowed, grateful for his brother’s esteem, and said good night.
Then Tiernan returned to his preparations for his journey in a much less anxious frame of mind.
Chapter Sixteen
Tiernan spent the rest of the evening preparing for his journey, but all the while he was working, he kept thinking about his conversation with Cian. Perhaps his brother was right. Shive was like no other woman he had ever met. It was foolish to treat her as though she were. The ground rules he had laid down for their relationship had been overturned almost from the moment he had kissed her at their wedding ceremony. His resolve to keep his distance had slowly crumbled with regard to the nature of their marriage. Surely they could be happy if only he could allow himself to let his feelings show.
A small commotion in Shive’s bedroom caused him to enter her chamber to investigate. There he saw Shive and her two cousins moving the old furniture to one side, and putting the new suite in its place.
“Here, let me help you,” Tiernan offered, taking the other corner of the large chest Shive was struggling with. Together they placed at the foot of the bed.
“Where should the cradle go?” Mahon asked.
“Over in that corner, I think,” Shive said with a swift glance at Tiernan to see how he would respond.
“Aye, perfect,” he agreed without hesitation.
Shive was relieved to see that Tiernan no longer looked uneasy about the cradle, and merely moved an old side table out of the way and helped inch the cradle into place without demur.
“Where should all of these pieces go? They were your mother’s, weren’t they, Tiernan?” Ernin asked.
“Aye, as part of her wedding gifts, made by her brother, my Uncle Seamus, who died soon after she was married. Perhaps it’s from him that Cian gets his talent,” Tiernan replied amiably, but realized too late that what he had said about the origin of the furniture might have hurt Shive’s feelings.
Shive’s face did indeed fall, and she sighed and turned away. Tiernan felt like kicking himself for having been so thoughtless as to remind her of the paucity of their wedding gifts.
Shive now stooped to pick up a chair, but Tiernan stopped her and made her stand upright.
“You can rearrange the room as you wish in the morning when I’ve gone. I want to spend some time with you alone before I leave,” he whispered.
Shive stared deeply into his midnight blue eyes for a moment, and then said, “To tell you the truth, Ernin, we'd better consult with Cian and Lasaran to see if they want some of these pieces. Why don’t we just leave them here for now? It would b a pity to split up the set. Can we wait until tomorrow?”
Mahon nodded agreeably.
Shive said good night to them both and closed the door.
Tiernan was already stripping off the outer layers of his clothing, and held out his hand to her.
“Time for bed, a thaisce?” he asked quietly.
Shive nodded wordlessly, touched by the endearment 'treasure', and took his hand. They melted into each other’s arms, and undressed each other hurriedly, longing to be one again. Shive only pulled away from Tiernan’s ardent kisses for a moment, in order to blow out the candles.
But Tiernan said softly, “No, leave them burning. Beauty like yours shouldn’t be disguised by darkness.”
Tiernan laid her down on the bed gently, and as he kissed and caressed her, he kept his eyes open, looking for the least sign of unease or distaste. But Shive positively glowed with joy as Tiernan’s lovemaking grew ever more passionate, and at last Tiernan knew Cian was right. Shive wanted him, body and soul.
“Shive open you eyes. Look at me,” Tiernan commanded softly.
“Oh, Tiernan, it’s too much, I can’t!” she gasped as her eyes flew wide.
Tiernan felt as though his soul were being ripped from his body as he climaxed. Each ripple seemed to grow stronger rather than weaker, lasting an eternity. He groaned out his need for her, and finally lay still.
At last Tiernan rolled them both onto their side, but for once he left them joined together, reluctant to let her go.
“Shive, are you awake?” he asked after a few moments.
“I don’t think so. I just had the most wonderful dream.” Shive smiled gently as she snuggled more tightly against him.
“I’m glad it wasn’t a nightmare,” he teased, pecking her on the forehead.
“Never. Not when you’re here with me to keep me safe." Shive sighed as she stroked her hand down his long back, marvelling at the softness of his skin, a fascinating contrast with the steel of his muscles.
“Shive, will you do something for me?” Tiernan murmured in her ear.
“Aye, if I can.” Shive opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her intently.
“I want you to kiss me,” Tiernan requested.
“You don’t have to ask, Tiernan. You can have one any time you like,” Shive murmured shyly.
“I'd like one now, and I'd like you to be less shy of me in the future. Kiss me any time you wish.”
“You might have cause to regret saying that one day, when I embarrass you in front of all the men here,” Shive teased as she lifted her lips to his, and kissed him full on the mouth. Recalling his thrilling kisses of a few moments before, she parted his lips with her tongue, and as the contact deepened she undulated against him, driving him wild with desire.
Sensing Tiernan’s need to be more sure of her feelings, Shive pushed him onto his back and urged him on shamelessly with her body. Tiernan tried to set a rhythm of his own by grasping her hips in his huge hands. Shive gently tugged his wrists over his head, and alternated long, languorous strokes, with short, quick, urgent ones. She nibbled his earlobes and neck, then kissed him again, smothering his groan of desire as he neared his peak.
Recollecting one of Ailbhe’s sage pieces of advice on how to please a man, Shive let go of one wrist and reached behind her to caress Tiernan’s thighs.
“Oh God!” Tiernan roared.
Shive was
nearly thrown sideways off the bed as he arched up and crushed her to him as though he would never let her go. After many minutes, he began to chuckle throatily.
“You’re right, I guess I’d better not ask for a kiss from you too often. My heart might not be able to take the strain.”
Shive looked at him worriedly. "Did I hurt you?”
“Not at all. I just never knew such delights existed,” Tiernan confessed, hugging her close.
“I want to please you, Tiernan, you know that.”
The Hart and the Harp Page 17