“And what a year it’s been, eh?”
“Please, don’t remind me,” Shive said with a wry grin.
“Any regrets?” Cian prompted softly.
“Apart from all the deaths, especially Ernin, no, in all honesty, not a one. I would do it all over again if I had to,” Shive admitted.
As far as her relationship with Tiernan, Shive knew it would take some time for him to get over his brother’s death. All the same, she wished things could finally be settled between them. She loved him. She always had. Why couldn’t they just be together without so many things getting in the way?
As November turned to December, Shive began to think that Tiernan had perhaps decided upon a divorce after all. The few times he ever came to visit to enquire after his wounded men, or consult with her and Mahon on strategy, food, and so on, he treated her as though she were a stranger.
She asked Mahon and Cian their opinions on the subject one evening after a particularly confusing meeting with Tiernan.
“Tiernan can’t help that you're constantly surrounded by other men, you know," Mahon pointed out. "I’ve seen the way he looks at Maolmordha whenever he’s visiting. It’s enough to make your blood run cold. After all, he must have heard the rumors about you and Maolmordha being together when you were at Killour and Bothandun. That Kenneth O’Donnell has the lewdest tongue I’ve ever come across."
"But we never--"
“I’m not saying we believe there was anything amiss between you. If there was I’m sure it would have been by force rather than consent. Yet I think Maolmordha is a good man. I can’t really believe he would have taken advantage of you the way Kenneth puts about. But if Tiernan has heard these rumors, well...” Mahon trailed off worriedly.
“I’ve never been unfaithful to Tiernan!” Shive denied hotly. "You know I love him.”
“Everyone in the west of Ireland seems to know that except Tiernan! Try to get him alone some time, and ask him how he feels,” Cian suggested.
“Your brother, as you well know, Cian, has never been one for discussing his feelings about any subject, let alone how he feels about me,” Shive commented wryly.
Cian shrugged, but Shive could see his brain working silently on the problem.
At last the morning of Cian and Ailbhe’s wedding dawned, crisp, clear and cold. Shive was surprised when she awoke to silence. For once the baby wasn’t crying for his morning feed.
She discovered her cousin Mahon standing at the foot of her bed and started up. “Good Lord, what time is it?”
“Early enough, Shive. I just thought I ought to remind you that Ruairi and his new bride promised to come early so you could show her the castle and help her get settled. You also told Ailbhe you would help with the last-minute arrangements, and her dress and so on. I thought you might like to have some time on your own, to get ready, and put on something extra special for the occasion.”
Mahon seemed so candid and open that Shive suspected nothing, merely nodded sleepily and took her best dress out of the trunk to wear. In keeping with her new role as mother, she had decided to make some new gowns for herself. Her favorite of these was a deep midnight blue gown with a square neckline and embroidery at the neck, wrists and hem. She liked the color especially because it reminded her of Tiernan’s deep blue eyes. Her burgundy hair, now falling to nearly her waist, was braided, then coiled high on her head, and crowned with a fine pale blue veil which had been a gift from Ailbhe the day before as a small token of gratitude for allowing her to have the ceremony at her castle.
Shive threw a wrap-around apron over her gown and descended to the kitchen to oversee preparations for the feast. She could see that everything there was well in hand.
At a shout that riders were on the way, she went outside and trailed up to the entrance of the castle.
Ruairi and Breda arrived, laden with presents for the wedding and the Yuletide season. Shive helped supervise the unpacking of the cart and organized sleeping quarters for all the guests who would be staying there for the three days of the feast.
Entering the great hall, she could not but help but remark on how wonderful it all looked. The tables were all adorned with holly, and Shive admired the glowing green and red, and the elaborate dinner service of fine earthenware which Ruairi and his wife had just brought with them from Lissatava that morning, and had given her as a token of thanks for her loyalty to Ruairi in his hour of need.
At last she headed upstairs to see Ailbhe, who was all dressed for her wedding apart from her veil.
“At last, Shive! What do you think? Will I pass muster?”
“Of course, Ailbhe! Every bride looks beautiful on their wedding day!”
“I just hope I can love Cian as much as you do Tiernan.”
Shive’s face fell then, and she looked away, gazing out of the window at the newly falling snow. She sighed then, remembering how it had all begun just like this a year before, with her dressed in her best, the snow falling, Tiernan’s incredible eyes, the feast in the great hall...
“Shive, Shive, you’re not listening to a word I’m saying!” Ailbhe exclaimed with a laugh. “What is the matter?”
“Oh, nothing, I was just recollecting my wedding day last year, that’s all. Now, if you’re ready, we’d better go down.”
Ailbhe met with her father Connor at the bottom of the ladder. They went off into the small room at the side of the hall to wait until they were told all was in place.
Shive stood alone uncertainly, hoping to catch sight of Tiernan so she could go in with him, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Oran rescued her by bowing gallantly and offering her his arm. “You’re looking so lovely today, Madame. May I escort you inside?”
Shive laughed at his foolery, and slipped her hand into the crook of his arm.
Oran pushed open the doors then, and Shive felt all eyes upon them as they entered.
Cian was waiting at the altar at the top of the room, with Tiernan standing nearby. The hall was filled with many very familiar faces. Oran halted about three quarters of the way up the room, and pulled her out of the aisle into the first two seats on the long bench.
Ailbhe came in a moment later, and progressed up towards the groom.
Shive listened with mixed feelings as they recited their vows. It was all very romantic, idealistic even. But the reality of marriage was far different, she thought with a sigh. It certainly wasn’t the bed of roses she had hoped for herself once a long time ago.
That’s not fair, Shive berated herself. Tiernan has learned a great number of hard lessons about trusting people. I can’t blame him if he can’t change his ways to accommodate me. But how I wish he loved me, really loved me.
Then she looked up, her eyes brimming with tears, to see everyone staring at her.
Oran’s arm was now rock hard, and his other hand moved to cover her own.
“Come along!” he urged in a whisper.
Shive gaped. “What? I don’t understand.”
Shive stood rooted to the floor in stunned surprise as Cian and Ailbhe made way for her, and Oran tried to make her approach the makeshift altar.
“What’s happening?” she whispered.
Every single person in the room rose from their seats, waiting for Shive to walk down the aisle between the large tables.
“Take Tiernan’s hand. All the rest you will soon be able to comprehend,” Oran said with a grin.
At last she moved to to top of the hall, where Tiernan clasped her hand firmly in his own.
Suddenly Ruairi came up to the front of the hall, and declared loudly for all to hear, “We have come here today to celebrate the wedding of Cian O’Hara and his cousin Ailbhe, at the home of Shive MacDermot, to signal a new era of peace and prosperity in our land. I would now like to take this opportunity for you all to pay tribute to Shive, who is responsible for the peace we now have, and for the lasting peace which she helped to secure amongst all the families in our region.
“As my loyal cousi
n, I couldn't ask for a more staunch ally. As a friend, I have never known anyone more willing to help those she loves, even to the point of being willing to sacrifice her own life and happiness in order to preserve her principles and save others.
“Shive gave birth to her son on the battlefield, and saved the nuns at Killour convent with little thought for her own safety. She also saved Tiernan and myself from certain defeat by defying Muireadach O’Rourke, and saved Tiernan’s life when his own brother tried to betray him. She has befriended Scot and Viking alike, and those who came to despoil our countryside have stayed to help it prosper and grow strong.
“If you all look at the plates on the table, you shall see the hart, the symbol of the MacDermot clan from time immemorial. I think it only an appropriate symbol, since it is animal of courage, grace and beauty, and Shive embodies all three of these attributes nobly.
“There is one last gift I would like to give her, but I must wait a moment, for Tiernan would like to say something to Shive first before I proceed. Tiernan, if you please,” Ruairi invited with a nod.
Tiernan turned to face the assembled clans. “On this day, exactly one year ago, I wed Shive MacDermot. I must admit that there have been times when I regretted ever accepting Ruairi’s suggestion that I do so, since it has caused a great deal of undue hardship for us both. I was angered when I discovered the Viking attack against my village at Breachnach. I was beside myself with fury and hurt pride to discover her father Uistean had been responsible for my best friend Fiachra’s death, and that her cousin Parthalan had been complicit in the murder all along.
“I regretted the marriage also when I thought that Shive had eloped with another, and when she turned up on the battlefield of Lissatava with yet another handsome young man who obviously is completely devoted to her in tow.
“I’ve gone through all of the torments of hell, being so jealous of Shive being surrounded by other men. Despite all my years on the battlefield, I have lacked the courage to tell her honestly how I feel about her. But I'm showing that courage now.”
He turned to face Shive, and she could see his dark eyes glowing down at her with such love that it was plain for all to see.
He took her hand and kissed it tenderly. “Shive, I know our wedding last year wasn't perfect, since you had no property, no gown of your own, and few of your family around you. I want to make things up to you today, and all our days to come. I want to try to make you happy, even though I haven’t succeeded very well in the past.
“So here is the truth, plain and unvarnished, my dear Shive. I've always loved you, my treasure, from the time you were a young girl, until now. I never realized just how much I loved you until I came so close to losing you that day on the battlefield when you gave birth to our son. I never admitted that I loved you, Shive, because you were so much younger than me, and because after your brother was killed, I could never imagine you ever being able to love me.”
Shive gasped, and the tears sprang to her eyes. Spellbound, she listened in a daze as her husband continued.
“When Fiachra died, I knew I had to give you up. I foolishly tried to turn to another, who proved to be utterly worthless, interested only in my lands and fortune, until what she believed to be a better offer came along. I never really loved Grainne, yet I stupidly allowed her faithlessness to color my judgment of women after that. I mistrusted you, cast you out when you needed my love and support the most. I was even angry with you when you killed my brother in order to save me.
“But then I paused, and began to reflect on all you had lost. And how never once in all that time had you ever blamed me for the deaths of your brother, father, Parthalan, and Ernin, who died fighting by your side when you went to save my clan from the Viking raid."
He took a deep breath and willed himself to go on.
“So I have for once listened to my younger brother’s advice, and taken the opportunity of Cian’s and Ailbhe’s wedding, when all the clans, MacDermot, O’Hara, O’Connor, and even O’Rourke and O’Donnell and O’Keefe, are all gathered here, to tell you that I love you, Shive MacDermot. I love you more than life itself, and love you more with every passing day.
"Thus I am humbly begging you not divorce me, as is your right after a year and a day of marriage, but to please forgive me for my pride, arrogance, and mistrust, and to please, please give me a second chance to be the husband you deserve.”
Shive’s tears overflowed, and she smiled in sheer relief. She waited expectantly for him to make the first move to kiss her.
“But I will not force you to stay wed to me, Shive. If you wish to divorce me now, because I've wounded you too much, you have only to say so in front of this assembly, and the marriage will be over. I swear to you now, in front of all these witnesses, that your clan and mine shall be allied, no matter what you choose. I won't blame you if you no longer wish to be married to me after all I have done to injure you.
“So now you must declare your intention. Either ask for a divorce now, or retake your wedding vows in front of this good priest. If you retake your vows, then I swear that today will be the first day of our future marriage, a marriage of hearts, minds and souls that I was a fool to ever think I could renounce without a fight." He took a deep, steadying breath. “What do you wish to do, Shive?”
Shive held out her hand to him and smiled radiantly. “I love you, Tiernan, body and soul. I always have. I don’t want a divorce.”
Tiernan enfolded her in his arms and kissed her passionately, while the entire company let out a rousing cheer. The room thundered with their applause. Or was it the telltale beat of her heart in time with his, the blood that sang in her veins when she was in her one true love's arms?
As soon as they broke off the torrid kiss, Shive and Tiernan renewed their vows in front of all the septs. By the time they had finished reciting the simple words, there wasn’t a dry eye in the hall.
When the priest had finished speaking, Tiernan kissed Shive passionately once more. She ached to be alone with her husband, but just then, Ruairi asked some of the serving women to bring out his latest present, a new set of earthenware dishes with the hart and the harp motif which Shive had invented the year before when they had first been wed.
“You can take them home with you to Castlegarren after the feast,” Ruairi suggested.
Tiernan grinned as he hugged his wife close. “That’s if Shive wants to live there. I don’t care where she wants to stay, so long as she's happy.”
“I’d he happy enough living in a wattle and daub hut, or a cave, so long as we’re together for the rest of our lives,” Shive said, stretching up to kiss her husband on the lips.
He grinned. “And now, if you'll excuse us, my wife and I have a great deal of lost time to make up for,” Tiernan announced suddenly. He swung Shive off her feet and up into his arms in an instant.
Tiernan was already taking long strides to the door before Shive could utter a word of protest. “But Tiernan, the wedding feast!”
“Is for Cian, Ailbhe, and their guests. We’ve drawn enough attention away from them already. Let’s just leave them to their festivities, while we have a few of our own.”
Tiernan began to mount the ladder leading up to Shive’s rooms.
“But the baby!” Shive protested, blushing furiously.
“Is being looked after by the new wetnurse I’ve managed to find for you. Now that we have no more battles to fight, I want us to spend as much time as we can with each other. She will take some of the burden off you.”
Tiernan strode through her door and then locked it behind him tightly.
Within two second Shive and Tiernan were shredding each other’s clothes off desperately. Two seconds after that, they were panting with delight as they satisfied each other’s every desire. A rainbow exploded in Shive’s head as Tiernan filled her with joys immeasurable. It was only hours later that they finally floated back down to earth, their explosive passion finally temporarily sated.
“God, Shive, I
’ve missed you so,” he panted. “And I’ve been such a fool. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Never mind, my love, it doesn’t matter now,” Shive said tenderly as she cradled his head against her bosom.
“It does to me, my love,” Tiernan said earnestly, as he gazed into her violet eyes with his own deep blue ones. “You must have thought I hated you, when all the time I loved you and wanted to cherish you.”
“Then why, well, why were you so reluctant to spend the night with me?” Shive asked shyly.
“I was trying to protect you, mo rune searc,” he admitted, calling her by the romantic endearment ‘my secret love.’
“The first time it just, well, happened. Tried as I might, I couldn’t get the image of what we had shared out of my mind. Making love with you was like an incredible drug, Shive, it was so intoxicating. The more I was with you, the more I wanted you, nay, needed you. I was scared of that, and of the possibility of your becoming with child. Of dying in childbirth as my mother had.”
The Hart and the Harp Page 41