by T. L. Hayes
Every time he let her touch him she took as a gift. Not that he was stone, but she knew he had some areas of his body that still required extra care, and as his barriers melted away little by little, she felt all the more protective of him.
“Mind if I share your table, or do you have people coming?”
Rachel turned around to see a tall brunette at her table smiling at her and indicating the extra chair at her table. She was a stranger to her, but it was a packed house and Rachel had no use for the chair at the moment. She smiled. “No, go ahead.”
“Thank you.” The newcomer pulled the chair back and sat, placing her glass of ice water on the table. “I really wish I could have a beer right about now.”
“I know, but I’ve gotten used to it.”
“Come here often? I’m sorry, that sounded like a cheesy pickup line. I didn’t mean it that way.” The girl smiled in her embarrassment and extended her hand. “I’m the incredibly embarrassed Melanie.”
Shaking her hand, Rachel laughed. “Nice to meet you. I’m the easily amused Rachel.”
“Nice to meet you, Rachel. My question still stands, though with innocent intentions.”
“And my answer, also innocent, is that yes, I do. The entertainment’s good. And the atmosphere.” How easy it would be to pick this girl up, if she was still so inclined. She was cute, funny, and adorably awkward. Kind of like Bobby. But that thought led to thoughts of him and she couldn’t stop herself from glancing over her shoulder at him and smiling.
Melanie, apparently thinking Rachel’s comment was only referencing Bobby, snorted and said derisively, “Don’t waste your time.”
Rachel had to tamp down her sudden anger at the tone of Melanie’s voice, when she asked, “What do you mean?”
“I thought he was a lesbian, but he’s not, as I’m sure you can tell by my pronoun choice. He’s trans. I mean, he’s adorable, don’t get me wrong, and one hell of a kisser, but, ugh, it was such a disappointment, know what I mean?”
“I’m not sure I do.”
“Well, you know, I only date women, and I thought he was one. If I had known the truth, I wouldn’t have let him make out with me in my car and I sure as hell wouldn’t have let him get as far as he did. Just wish he had been honest with me from the get-go, you know?”
Swallowing her growing rage, Rachel asked, “So what, you expect him to just say, Hi, my name is Bobby. I’m trans? Because that seems a bit unnecessary to me.”
“Well, maybe not like that, but he could have still let me know before I got naked. I mean, how rude.” Melanie gave a crooked smile, as if to suggest her words were all in good fun, woman to woman.
Rachel was not finding amusement in her words at all. “I see. And how did you handle the situation when you did find out?”
“I told him to get the fuck out of my car, for one. Then I called him a liar and, well”—Melanie leaned closer to Rachel as if she was imparting a secret, and lowered her voice—“I called him a lying tranny faggot. I know it was horrible but I couldn’t help it. That’s how he made me feel. I think he’ll think twice before he lies to another woman again about who he really is.” Melanie sat back with a look of satisfaction on her face, almost, Rachel thought, like she thought she had performed a public service.
She couldn’t hold back. The word tranny really pissed her off. She leaned toward Melanie and lowered her own voice, which forced Melanie to lean in to hear. “If I ever hear you say anything like that about my boyfriend, or any other transgender person again, I will fucking kill you, you stuck up little bitch. Now get away from my table.” Rachel leaned back and cocked on eyebrow expectantly. Melanie looked as if she had been punched and Rachel got a great deal of satisfaction out of that.
Recovering, Melanie said, almost inexplicably, considering the harshness of Rachel’s words, “Bobby’s your boyfriend?”
“Yes. And you’re sitting in his chair. Now leave.”
“Whatever. You two deserve each other.”
“Thank you.”
“If you’re a lesbian, as I suspect, considering how you looked at me when I first walked up, then you’re a traitor—I hope you know that,” Melanie said, as she stood up from the table.
“Why, because I’m not dating a lesbian? I prefer to date a person, not an orientation.”
Melanie gave a derisive snort. “Whatever. Have fun with the dickless wonder up there.” She walked away with a little wave.
Rachel exhaled and unballed her fists that she had clenched some time ago, though she couldn’t remember having done so. Once she felt she could breathe normally again, she turned her attention back to the stage just as Bobby was approaching the mic. She was so glad he hadn’t witnessed the exchange she had just had.
“All right, let’s start off tonight with a sweet little Bill Withers tune.” The music started and Bobby went into a soulful version of “Ain’t No Sunshine.” When that finished, he amused everyone by seguing into The Temptations and singing about “My Girl.” Then he kicked up the sex appeal a notch with “Mustang Sally,” but touched Rachel’s heart when he left no doubt that he was singing directly to her when he sang “Stand By Me.”
As he sang to her it was easy to forget the horrible conversation she had just had and it made it possible to concentrate on what really mattered: that sweet boy onstage who needed her to be strong. When he finished his set, she blew him a kiss and he caught it in the air and held his hand to his heart. It made her sigh, but just the same, she mouthed to him, “You big dork,” which made him laugh.
When he finally left the stage, the first place he went was to her. She kissed him, then whispered in his ear, “Damn right I’m your girl and I definitely stand by you. And yeah, I forgive you for being a jerk.” Bobby looked confused at first, then he nodded his understanding.
* * *
Rachel rapped her knuckles on Dr. Silver’s door, being careful not to spill the coffee she carried. She had a cup in each hand, so the only other option for knocking would have been her elbow or her foot, but that would have been too awkward.
“Come in,” came Dr. Silver’s soft-spoken voice from inside.
Rachel was grateful the door was cracked, so she only had to push it open with her toe. She poked her head in and smiled. “Columbian, skim milk, with a dash of maple syrup, right?” She held one cup aloft toward Dr. Silver.
Dr. Silver looked up and smiled. “That’s right. Since when does our campus coffee shop offer maple syrup?” She took the cup and carefully made a place for it amongst the papers on her desk.
“They don’t, but the fast food place next to it does.” Rachel took a seat without being prompted.
“Good to know. So, unless I miss my guess, the coffee tells me you are here to seek my wisdom.” Dr. Silver leaned back in her chair, hands clasped casually across her lap.
“Not really, more like an update. I’m sure you were just dying to know.”
Dr. Silver grinned but deadpanned, “I’ve been on pins and needles.”
“Figured as much. Thought I’d come and set your mind at rest.”
“It’s about time. So how are things with…Bobby, was it?”
Rachel smiled. She could tell Dr. Silver noted it but didn’t remark on it. “Well, I got over most of what we talked about last time. I mean, what you said made sense. I just had to realize that I know who I am and the hell with what anyone else thinks.”
“Absolutely. I’m glad. So you resolved your other conflicts?”
“Other conflicts?” Dr. Silver said nothing, just raised an eyebrow. Rachel caught on and felt her face get hot. “Oh, those conflicts. Yeah, I have.” Rachel grinned. “It’s all good.” She held her hand out, palm down, and moved it across the air as if across a flat, smooth surface.
“I figured it would all work itself out.”
“Yeah, you’re like an all-seeing guru that way.”
Dr. Silver gave a surprised laugh. “I don’t know about that. It is said wisdom comes from age, when in f
act, it comes from making mistakes, usually stupid ones. I suppose I’ve made enough to be considered wise in that respect.”
“How much wisdom you got about former hookups?”
Dr. Silver snorted. “If the subject was ex-girlfriends, quite a lot, but since I don’t do hookups, none in that respect. But I’ll do my best. What’s on your mind?”
“Well, before Bobby and I met, he dated and screwed around a lot. So did I, if truth be known, so I can’t fault him for that and it really doesn’t bother me. The problem is that I ran into one of his former hookups at the café last night when he was performing. She didn’t know we were dating when she sat down at my table. She proceeded to tell me, a total stranger, about how they hooked up but he was a total disappointment because he was trans and she thought I was mooning over him and was trying to tell me to not waste my time. I mean, what a douchey thing to do, you know? First, to out him as trans to someone she didn’t know just cause she was pissed was really shitty, and then what she told me she did to him because he’s trans? That was unconscionable.”
“I see. I’ve never had this experience, so I don’t know that I have any particular wisdom on this.”
“Okay, maybe asking for wisdom wasn’t the best way to put it. I think I need a different type of help.”
“Such as?”
“Can you teach me that fancy kung fu you know?”
“Technically I can and do teach others on the weekends, but why? You’re not going to start kicking the snot out of all his hookups are you?” Dr. Silver grinned at her.
“No. Though about his mother, I make no promises. No, but last night’s incident and my reaction to it just made me think about other things that could have happened. I mean, she was a total bitch and full of bitterness but she wasn’t violent. What if things had gone differently though? Things are getting crazy out there for trans folks. Scary, actually, and I want to be prepared. I’m not saying I’m looking to start fights or that he wouldn’t be able to take care of himself if it came to that, just that I don’t want to be the sniveling little chit crying at his side. I have a mouth that can get me in trouble, and now I need the skills to cash the check. And yes, I know I just mixed my metaphors and I don’t care.” She grinned to cover up her sudden nervousness.
“You’re right about the state of things and the violence and hatred. And the whole bathroom thing is just stupid.” Dr. Silver sighed.
“Exactly. And it pisses me off.”
“Me too.” They said nothing for a moment while Dr. Silver eyed Rachel levelly, and Rachel stared back unflinchingly.
Finally, Dr. Silver exhaled and said, “Okay, I’ll teach you. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, four p.m. That is, if you will be patient with my teaching methods and let me do my job.” Her tone was light and Rachel knew she was only teasing.
“Okay, since you’re going to be teaching me cool things, I promise to be good. Can I wear the cute little pajamas like I saw you wear in the video?”
Dr. Silver did not smile and Rachel suddenly felt chastised when she said, “The uniform you saw me wear was called a sahm and I think you’ll be fine in sweats.”
“Aww.”
“All things in time, young Padawan.”
“That was a Star Wars reference, wasn’t it?”
“There may be hope for you yet, Ms. Cole.”
“Thank you, Obi-Wan.”
“I think you should stop while you’re ahead, grasshopper.”
“All right, I’m going. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And congrats on Bobby and thanks for the coffee. It’s always welcome.”
“My pleasure. See ya, Lou.” Just as she was about to walk out the door, Dean Louden appeared in the doorway. He had his hand raised in position to knock on the open door and he looked somewhat confused and taken aback. Rachel wasn’t sure if it was because he had heard the nickname she had used or just the fact that she was there in the first place.
“Miss Cole, is everything all right here?” He eyed both of them in turn.
Rachel turned so he couldn’t see her and rolled her eyes at Dr. Silver before turning back to look at him again. She patted him on the arm and said, “Relax, Charles, it’s all good. Just student/teacher business, honest. Besides, she’s cute and all, but not my type. No worries.”
“I’ll see you in class, Ms. Cole,” Dr. Silver said. There was no mistaking the stern tone in her professor’s voice, which Rachel took to mean, Shut up and go now.
“Right. Gotta go. You should relax more, Charles, it’s good for you. Bye, Dr. Silver, and thanks for all the fish.” It was fun to exchange geeky references with Dr. Silver. She’d been missing this kind of banter since Rory moved away.
“Anytime.”
As Rachel was walking away, she heard the dean ask, “So what was that about?” She sighed and hoped she hadn’t just gotten the prof in trouble. Obviously, he was still a little nervous after the whole Maggie and Rory thing. Was it not possible that a student and teacher could be friends, or whatever it was that they were, and for there to be nothing between them? She was amused at the thought that Rory had just ruined it for everyone. She made a mental note to tease her about that later.
Chapter Eleven
“So, I’m curious—why can’t you see me this afternoon?” Bobby called when he woke up on Friday morning to say that his boss had changed his shift to that evening, which meant he wouldn’t be able to come by, not that they had any specific plans. He had asked if he could spend the afternoon before shift with her instead as he’d done many times before, but Rachel was simply vague and said that she had other plans.
“Because, I told you—I’m going to a workout session. It’s a new thing I’ve started. I’m sorry I can’t see you before work, but I can wait up for you.” She dropped her voice into a seductive whisper to try to make up for disappointing him. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell him about the kung fu lessons, other than the fact that she was a little embarrassed. Maybe she would tell him someday, she reasoned, when she actually had something to show him. There had to be a move that would lay him on his back. She smiled as she thought it, realizing she didn’t need any help in that area.
“My shift ends at midnight. That won’t be too late?”
“I’ll be here. And awake. I promise.”
“Okay. If you’re sure it’s okay. Just so you know, I’m not going to smell my best.”
“Hmm, too bad I live in a dorm with a communal shower. Otherwise, I’d throw you in there and wash it all away.”
Bobby groaned. “You’re torturing me. And you’re enjoying it, aren’t you?”
Rachel laughed. “Maybe.”
“Evil, just evil.”
“You wouldn’t have me any other way. You love it.”
“You know I do.”
Rachel’s voice softened. “And don’t worry, I really am working out. I’m not blowing you off. Trust me, if I could be with you more often, I would.”
“I’m not worried. I trust you, Rachel, more than anyone.”
Rachel couldn’t help but put a hand to her heart. But instead of telling Bobby that, she reacted with her usual humor. “Aww, right in the feels.”
Bobby laughed. “That was my goal. I’ll see ya later, Rachel.”
“Bye Bobby.” Rachel hung up and sighed. “You’re being a goofy, grinning idiot, you know that, right?” she chastised herself. With another sigh, she picked her phone back up off the bed where she had laid it and sent Rory a quick text, realizing as she did so that she hadn’t spoken to her all week. Goddammit, I’m falling for that big dork. That’s all.
A minute or two later Rory’s reply came back. Aww. I’m happy for you and that big dork. Congrats! It’s about damn time!
Yeah, yeah. She chuckled to herself as she set her phone back down on the bed then stood up to change into sweats and a T-shirt. She wasn’t sure what exactly she was in for today, but she had a feeling Dr. Silver was definitely going to be putting her through h
er paces and she was most assuredly going to get a workout.
* * *
Dr. Silver had told Rachel to meet her in the same multipurpose room their stage combat class was held, promptly at four o’clock. When Rachel had left her room it was ten till the hour and she had to jog in order to make it in time. Something about her professor’s tone told her that she had better not be late.
When she finally pushed open the large black door to the rehearsal space, it was two minutes after the hour. Not bad, she thought. Dr. Silver was standing in the center of the room, looking as patient as you please, with her hands clasped in front of her, her honey-blond curls pulled back, her glasses held on with a strap. She was wearing the same black and red outfit she had worn in the video she had shown in class, the one she had referred to as a sahm. The desks that were usually scattered about the room in a haphazard way were all neatly lined up along the side of one wall. There were mats in the middle of the floor, the same ones that were used in their stage combat class. It was on one of these mats that her professor stood.
Rachel walked up to her teacher, palms together at her chest, and bowed. “Sorry I’m late.” It seemed like something she was supposed to say. When she looked up again, she thought she saw Dr. Silver suppress a smile.
“Accepted. The bow is not necessary, but if you wish to do so, this is the proper way.” Instead of palms together as Rachel had done, Dr. Silver put her hands down at her sides and then bowed.
“Oh, sorry.” Rachel copied her movements.
“Yes, like that. In this room, during these sessions, you will refer to me as Sifu, not Dr. Silver or Lou. You will be on time. You will not wear jewelry or street shoes. You will do everything I tell you and you will bow to me after each instruction, when you step onto the mat, and before you leave it. If you find that you do not wish to continue, then you will inform me of this instead of only giving half the effort. What you are about to undertake is not easy. It requires a lot of endurance and strength and commitment. This is a skill that, once mastered, will be with you a lifetime and can be very rewarding.