by J. H. Croix
She ordered a beer and then turned, her elbow hooked on the edge of the bar. I sensed the moment she saw me. From across the room, our gazes locked. It felt as if there was a force between us, heat and electricity shimmering across the room.
For some reason, it surprised me when she pushed off the bar and walked across the room toward me. As she got closer, the force between us heated, my body tightening.
She slipped into the chair across from me without even asking. Only when she was seated did she look over and arch a brow. “Mind if I join you?”
“Of course not.”
I couldn’t say aloud what I actually thought. I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I’d have liked to pull her into my lap, tangle my hand into her wild hair, and kiss her senseless. On the heels of that thought was the reality that I needed to stay sane and keep a friendly distance.
Striving to keep my tone casual, I teased, “As long as you don’t get too drunk and start another fight. If I end up taking you home after that, your brother will assume it might have something to do with me.”
Jasmine laughed softly, but something flickered in her eyes, and I didn’t know quite what it was.
“So, Donovan, tell me how you like Willow Brook,” she began conversationally.
“I like it quite a bit. What brings you back here?”
Her cheeks pinkened, and a flicker of anger and pain danced in the backs of her eyes. I wanted to know who put that pain there. She took a pull from her beer and then cocked her head to the side. “Well, I’ll be blunt. I caught my fiancé fucking my friend. In our bed. So I left. But the friend was the assistant manager at the same place where I worked. I ended up saying something about it in front of some customers and got myself fired. It only took about twenty-four hours for my life to completely blow up. No job, no fiancé, no place to live. I decided I might as well come home.”
I experienced a hot flash of anger at her words. I couldn’t decide if I was more pissed at her ex, or her friend. And I couldn’t fucking believe any man would be so stupid as to fuck around on her. I might not know her well, but I knew she was a prize; the kind of prize that didn’t come along often in life.
Considering my words, I held her gaze. “He’s a fucking idiot.”
Her smile unfurled slowly, her eyes widening in surprise. Fuck. Jasmine smiling was dangerous. My cock twitched. Between her smile and the pink stain on her cheeks, she’d hit me like a bolt of lightning.
“I think so too,” she said, her smile fading as quickly as it appeared. “But it still sucks.” She picked at the edge of the label on her beer bottle.
“Want me to kick his ass?”
I heard my question and couldn’t believe I’d said it. But right now, if she had said yes, I would’ve found out where the guy was and done it.
A startled laugh escaped as she looked at me. “You would kick his ass for me, wouldn’t you?” she asked, her tone wondering.
“Yes. Although I’m sure Levi would do the honors as well,” I offered.
Saying Levi’s name reminded me that Jasmine was his little sister.
And so what? She’s a grown woman, she can make her own decisions.
I ignored that line of thinking.
“Oh, I’m sure he would. But somehow, I’d rather you do it,” she said with another laugh. The flash of pain had faded from her eyes, and for that, I was relieved.
We fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, with Jasmine pausing to look around, her eyes scanning the room. When her gaze made its way back to me, she caught a lock of her hair around her finger, twirling it idly. “Where are you from?”
“Most recently, Northern California, but I grew up in Georgia.”
That earned me a smile, and my heart gave a hard kick.
“Ah, you have a bit of your southern accent left.”
“Yes ma’am,” I replied with a wink.
“How’d you end up in Alaska?”
“Hotshot training in Cali, a few years there, and then I needed a change. The job opened up here, and I took it.”
I left a lot of blanks in that story, but I didn’t care to fill those in. Not now.
It was fair to say I had some experience with friends screwing around with someone I loved. Bill fucked my fiancée. But that was another story for another time.
I’d always loved the mountains and the wilderness. That was what drew me to becoming a hotshot firefighter, and what drew me to Alaska. My job kept my mind occupied, and I could be in the wilderness I loved.
Jasmine nodded slowly. She took another pull on her beer and stood as if to leave. “I think I’ll go play some pool,” she said.
That protectiveness flashed inside of me again as I glanced over at the men currently clustered in that area. The same guy who had grabbed her ass was over there, along with a few of his jackass buddies.
I bit back the urge to tell her not to, but it definitely wasn’t my place. With a wave, she turned away. Her cowboy boots struck with a distinct echo on the floor as she walked away. My eyes tracked the swing of her hips.
I forced myself to look away, telling myself I’d finish my beer and leave. Because if there was one thing I was coming to understand, proximity to Jasmine might not be the best thing for my sanity. She tugged at me. The electricity that sizzled in the air whenever she was near was hard to ignore. Layered into that was that flicker of vulnerability and that reckless edge I saw in her eyes.
I was getting up to leave not much later when I heard her voice ring out again. What the fuck was she up to now?
Spinning back, I surveyed the far corner where she was playing pool. Hand on her hip, she pointed her pool stick like a weapon, her eyes laser focused on the same idiot who’d grabbed her ass the other night.
Without thinking, I threaded my way through the crowd. Reaching her side, I didn’t even wait. I caught the eyes of the asshole who was looking her up and down like she was a piece of meat just for him.
“Jasmine,” I murmured, my voice low as I curled my hand around her arm. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Her eyes flashed as she looked up at me. For a beat, I thought she was going to argue, but she didn’t. She set her pool stick down on the table and spun away, holding her middle finger up in a salute. She let me lead her away, but I was under no illusions that I was in control at the moment. She was walking away with me because she decided she was.
For the second time in a week, I walked down the narrow hallway out to the parking lot with Jasmine Phillips at my side. Unlike the other night, she was sober; she hadn’t even finished her beer.
Once we were outside, she tugged her elbow free from my hand before spinning back to face me, her gorgeous blue eyes flashing. “I can take care of myself, you know,” she hissed.
I kept walking past her. I wasn’t going to have this scene right in front of the door. Whether she chose to follow me would also be up to her. I wasn’t thinking clearly. At all. Need thrashed inside of me, that hum of electricity at her nearness burning hot.
I stopped at the back of my truck, turning to see her still approaching from behind. She stalked right up to me. “Don’t walk away from me,” she demanded.
Her amber hair glinted under the single light in the parking lot. Damn, she was glorious when she was angry.
“Sugar, I don’t know why you’re pissed off at me. The guy’s a fucking asshole, and I can guarantee idiots like him are like a broken record. You get near him, and he’s gonna look at you like a piece of meat, and treat you like one. Every damn time. Unless that’s what you want, I’d suggest you steer clear.”
Jasmine was quiet, her eyes still flashing. She rested a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”
“Of course you will. You certainly didn’t need to come out here with me. I figured you probably didn’t want a repeat of the other night. Not that it’s any of my damn business …”
My words trailed off because none of this was my damn business. I didn’t need to spend any mor
e time with Jasmine this close to me because the longer I did, the more my brain fuzzed. As it was, all I wanted was her legs wrapped around my waist and her blouse torn open, so I could see the curves I knew were hidden behind it.
Shackling my need, I pushed my hips off the back of my bumper. “Well, I’ll be going then.”
I started to turn and then her hand caught my sleeve, her fingers curling around my forearm, her touch like fire on my skin.
“What’s it to you?” she demanded.
As I caught her gaze, I was in an all-out war with my body. I didn’t say anything, simply arched a brow.
After a beat, she spoke again. “I know you want me,” she said, her words a dare.
I didn’t know what game she was playing, but it was definitely testing my limits.
Just when I thought she was going let go of my arm, just as I told myself sternly to remember to steer clear of her, her hand slid down my forearm, leaving a blaze of heat in its wake. She caught my hand in hers, pulling me toward her as she closed the distance between us.
Once again, her mouth was on mine. I couldn’t resist it. I was certainly taller than her and could have leaned away. Yet, when she leaned up, her free hand sliding around to cup my nape, her fingers teasing along the edge of my hair, I just couldn’t. It was like a match dropped into a vat of gasoline. I caught on fire. This time, I tangled my hand in the glorious fall of her hair, cupped her cheek, and devoured her mouth.
Our kiss went wild, almost instantly. Her tongue tangled with mine, and she moaned into my mouth. I was flat out oblivious to anything else around us. When she flexed into me, her breasts pressing against my chest, my knee slid between her thighs, and I could feel the damp heat there. All I wanted was her. A soft sound escaped from her throat. It was like cracking a whip through the air, electrifying me, every point of contact lighting sparks under my skin.
The sound of a raven calling sharply through the falling darkness punctured the haze. With an act of will that took everything within me, I tore my lips free from her kiss almost violently and took a step back. My breath came in heaves, as did hers. The air had started to chill. Stars winked in the gloaming, bright as the night claimed the day.
“We can’t do this,” I murmured.
As she stared at me, her tongue swiped across her bottom lip, and my cock swelled even more.
“Why not?”
I wanted her like mad, and yet I needed to pump the brakes because I could feel her starting to get to me. There was desire, and then there was this—a desire so intense it threatened to overtake all my restraint. She was my friend’s little sister, so it couldn’t just be sex. Levi would kick my fucking ass, and rightfully so.
I’d like to believe I was that honorable, but Levi wasn’t the reason I was trying to put a stop to this madness. There was an emotional tug. She caught at the edges of the binding I’d wrapped around my heart and threatened to unwind it.
The vulnerability I sensed under the surface with her only served to threaten my control even more. I didn’t know what she saw in my eyes, but a flash of pain flickered in hers before she closed them quickly.
Without a word, she spun away. I watched as she walked across the parking lot, her footsteps on the gravel distinct in the quiet. Only after she drove away did it occur to me she hadn’t waited for me to answer her question. Why not?
I supposed that was a good thing because I had no good answer.
Returning home that night, there was no choice but to find release at my own hands. With Jasmine dancing through my thoughts, my mechanical release came at the vision of her tongue swiping across her lip and the feel of her body against mine.
Chapter Seven
Jasmine
My phone chimed on my nightstand. It was late, and I still couldn’t sleep.
Sliding up against the headboard, I tucked the covers around my hips as I looked out the window. The moon was high in the sky, casting a silvery glow across the field behind Levi’s house, the spruce trees shimmering under the light. The jagged line of the mountain ridge in the distance was a dark silhouette. With a sigh, I leaned over to snag my phone off the nightstand, swiping my finger across the screen.
It was a text from Glen.
I know I fucked up, but you could at least tell me where you are. This doesn’t have to mean things are over. I blew it, and I know it. Please just give me a chance to talk.
I might’ve had all kinds of feelings about Glen and what had happened, but I knew without any doubt that there was no chance for us. Every time I thought of him, my mind conjured up the sight of Lisa on his lap, fucking the hell out of him.
I contemplated whether to even grace him with a reply. I finally decided the only reason it was worth it was because he would probably keep pestering me. Picking up my phone, I typed out a reply.
It’s none of your business where I am. As far as us, it’s over. That’s final.
I hit send and then tossed the phone back on the nightstand. I felt so small, so unwanted. Even though I could tell myself Glen had been a cheating asshole, it didn’t take the sting away from knowing what he’d done. My self-esteem when it came to my desirability had taken a major hit.
My mind flashed to Donovan, and I wanted to cry all over again. Even he didn’t want me. To clarify, I thought he wanted me. Just not enough to see past whatever barriers he thought existed. I didn’t know why this mattered so much. But it did. I wasn’t being rational.
Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, and I curled my knees to my chest, letting my forehead fall to my knees as I cried. I’d been reckless in the bar the other night and again tonight, and I knew it. I just felt all out of sorts. Donovan did funny things to me. Aside from the fact that he was hot as hell—because he was—there was something else, this lure to wrap myself in him and his strength.
Yet, that was twice now he’d made it perfectly clear he wasn’t looking for anything like that, certainly not with me.
I let myself cry for a few minutes, then wiped my cheeks on the sheets and tried to go back to sleep.
A week passed while I was at loose ends trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do. Levi and Lucy had made it clear I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. Much as I loved them both, it didn’t feel right to stay there indefinitely. I needed to find my own place and get my feet back under me.
With that in mind, I headed into town one afternoon to visit Janet James at Firehouse Café. My mother had mentioned in passing that she thought Janet was renting out the space above her B&B in downtown Willow Brook. As I drove into town, I rolled down my window, inhaling a deep breath of the fresh air. I didn’t know if it was all in my head or not, but I was convinced even the air in Alaska was special.
Crisp and fresh, the summer air was scented with spruce and the rich greenery that grew in abundance during the short, light-filled summers. The lupine was in full bloom, the lovely purple flowers scattered amongst the tall grasses. Fireweed would bloom soon, and the landscape would be awash in fields of fuchsia, the wild weed creating an explosion of color.
As I drove into downtown, a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. When I’d graduated from high school, I couldn’t wait to get away from here. I’d loved Alaska, yet I’d been convinced I needed to spread my wings and fly away to see the world.
I’d done some traveling during college, crisscrossing the United States whenever I had time off between classes, visiting a number of cities and sort of falling in love with San Francisco. Yet, no place quite felt like home. Now that I had seen more of the world, Willow Brook no longer felt so limiting.
I paused after I climbed out of my car, spinning in a slow circle. Downtown Willow Brook was both familiar and strange at once. The aptly named Main Street ran right through the center of town. The police station and fire station were at one end. Main Street intersected another street on the opposite end that led to the small hospital where it was situated in a tiny valley just outside the main part of Willow Brook.
In
between those two anchor points for downtown, Main Street had a run of retail stores mingling with restaurants and coffee shops. Swan Lake Road ran parallel to Main Street. The sprawling lake itself was named after the Trumpeter Swans, the elegant and stunning swans that migrated here every summer. Swan Lake was visible from anywhere in downtown unless a building was in your way. Fishing lodges and hotels encircled it with the far side open wilderness as the forest gave way to the mountains in the distance.
As I spun around, my eyes arced over the familiar storefronts before my gaze landed on Firehouse Café, a local favorite hangout, and busier than ever in the summer.
Firehouse Café was in the town’s original firehouse, a square brick building and cute as ever now. Since I’d moved away, a mural I’d painted on the corner of the building had faded away. That had been in my earliest phase of rebellion. Without anyone’s permission, I’d painted giant sunflowers on the building late one night. I couldn’t have said why, or maybe I could, but I had a slightly wild streak that emerged every so often, spurring me to do stupid things. I’d been lucky. Janet had liked the sunflowers and had only made me work as a penance.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Coming home was grounding for me. The sting of Glen’s betrayal was like a scratch over the surface of my heart; it stung and tore open. I told myself—and valiantly kept trying to convince myself of the point—that it was all for the best, but it still hurt. I struggled to feel worthy when it came to relationships.
For a moment, as I looked at Firehouse Café, the place beckoning me, my heart flinched and emotion lodged in my throat.
So, we’re right back to that? You just can’t let old habits die.
Oh, for God’s sake, do you have to beat yourself up over beating yourself up?
If there was one thing I was an absolute expert at, it was giving myself a hard time. I metaphorically kicked myself in the ass to knock off that line of thinking.
With a deep breath and a flick of my hair over my shoulder, I forced myself to walk forward, pushing through the door, the sound of the cheerful bell above the door lifting my spirits slightly.