“B-because I need you and I can’t risk you doing anything that’s going to get you into trouble. You’re eighteen now and you could go to prison. I’d be left alone.”
I’m hoping I can somehow manage to persuade him, desperate to convince him that violence is not always the answer.
“Serena, I can’t ignore this.”
“You have to, Cole. Do it for me.” I plead with him, taking hold of his hand.
“You don’t understand how much I want to kill him, how much I want to hurt him for threatening you.”
Cole’s breathing is laboured as he struggles to gain control over his violent temper, pacing back and forth as he rakes his fingers through his hair.
“Cole, I need to ask if you’ve been in trouble with the police before. I mean, before you came here.”
“What does that matter now?”
“Because you have a much higher chance of being arrested if you’ve got a criminal record. If you decide to go in there and hurt Jonathan again, you really think the police are going to let you get away with it? What if you get arrested and those guys come back for me? They could really hurt me and you know it. Jonathan… he wants me to have sex with him and I’m scared that without you being here, he’s going to make me do it.”
Emotional blackmail is a last resort but I quickly realise that I’ve ran out of options. If the only way to keep him from hurting Jonathan is to use myself in the process, then so be it.
“He what? He told you he wants to have sex with you?!”
“He told me he wouldn’t send anyone after you if I sleep with him. Please don’t put me in that position by going in there and causing more trouble.”
“Serena, what the hell are you saying? Are you telling me that you would actually let that no mark fuck you just to protect me?”
“No! All I mean is he is capable of hurting me, Cole. Without you, there’s nothing and no one who can stop him. If you hurt him again, you’re going to go straight to prison and I’ll be alone.”
He pauses for a few moments, glaring at the school behind me in frustration. There’s an internal battle going on inside of him and all I can do is hope that he will make the right decision.
“Fuck! I can’t believe this is happening! You have no idea how much I want to hurt that piece of shit. I could kill him with my own two hands and not feel a single ounce of remorse.” He groans in frustration, punching the wall in front of him in a rage.
“Cole!” I exclaim loudly, hurrying over to him so I can take a look at his hand.
“I’m fine, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” He retorts sharply, pulling away from me.
“None of this is fine.” I state sadly, lowering the tone of my voice. “Did… did any of those guys who were sent hurt you?”
“Hell no.” He replies firmly. “One of them caught me off-guard and that’s the reason for the black eye which I have coming. I was on my way to school and had just left my house after taking a quick shower. The coward hit me from behind and the next thing I know there were about nine of them on me all at once, each of them carrying baseball bats and weapons.”
“My God, Cole…”
“Anyway, I took out a few of the strongest and the rest of them ran away after they saw what I had done to the ringleaders. I didn’t want to turn up at school with a bloodied shirt and a messed up face so I called in sick. If I had known for one second that the bastard who tried to hurt you was back in school, I would never have stayed away.”
“I’m ok, I promise you.” I reassured, trying my hardest to sound confident and sure.
“You’re not ok and I don’t want you anywhere near him from now on. I want you right by my side where I can keep you safe.”
He takes a step closer towards me and gently strokes my hair back from my face so he can place a kiss on the centre of my forehead.
“Listen, we have an appointment in less than half an hour and we really have to get going. We can discuss this later.”
Cole ends up phoning us a taxi so we can make my appointment in time. He asks if I want him to come in with me once we’re there but I decide to go in alone, deciding it will be far less embarrassing by myself.
He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze when my name is called and I give him a weak smile before I walk through the corridor towards the room where the nurse is waiting for me.
Afterwards, I realise it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be and find Cole in the waiting room, still playing on his phone like I left him.
“Is that it?” He asks, jumping up from his seat. “Did she give you a prescription?”
He motions towards the slip of paper I’m still clutching in my hand before placing his hand on my lower back so he can guide me out of the waiting room.
“Yeah, she asked me a few questions but was more than happy to grant me some contraception. She gave me a six month supply and I have to take my first pill on the day I start my next period for it to be effective.”
“Wow, that’s great.”
“I guess so.”
“You are sure about this, aren’t you? I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressurising you into anything.”
“You’re not. I want to be with you, Cole. I want that more than anything.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m certain.”
We share another taxi home and decide to go back to my place instead of Cole’s. I’ve never really spent much time there apart from that day he took me back there straight from school. I’ve never met his mum and don’t even know if Cole has mentioned me to her at all. I recognise that there is still so much I have to learn about him and his past, his issues with his mother and the resentment that he still holds for her and his absent father.
I spot a rather expensive car parked outside my house when our taxi pulls up. Cole pays the driver as I get out of the car and stare at the registration plate on the vehicle in front of my driveway.
Cole takes my hand and walks with me down the road, nearing my house as we draw closer towards the black BMW right before my driveway.
“Nice car.” Cole whistles, taking a moment to admire its splendour.
“I was actually just wondering who it might belong to.” I confess, allowing my gaze to absorb the extravagancy of it.
Cole takes me by surprise when he next looks up and comes to a standstill. His mouth falls open in shock and his eyes widen in disbelief. He looks like he’s seen a ghost and it unnerves me because I’ve never seen him like this before. He appears to be stunned, enraged and infuriated at the exact same time.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” He growls angrily, breathing heavily.
“Huh? Who? Who are you talking about?” I ask in confusion, taking a glance around before I spot the person he seems to be referring to.
My father.
He’s making his way out of my house but stops and turns around to face my mum so he can say something to her. Neither one of them have seen us and I didn’t even know my mum was at home, let alone inside conversing with my estranged parent.
“I have no idea.” I respond quietly, watching them closely. “My mum told me that my dad wanted to come and see me but I had no idea it would be today.”
Cole turns towards me with a sickened and tormented expression on his face.
“Wait a minute… are you saying that the man leaving your house right now is your father?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” I sigh wearily. “Why else would he be talking to my mum?”
I watch in horror as Cole’s complexion is drained of all its colour. He looks like he’s about to faint and he no longer seems to have the strength to stand up.
“I… I didn’t know.” He mumbles incoherently, taking a step back from me.
“Cole, what’s wrong? What’s the matter? Tell me what’s happening.” I beg him, attempting to close the distance between us so I can touch him.
“No! No, don’t touch me. I-I have to go.” He stammers, turning his back on me.
> “What do you mean? Are you ok?” I ask once more, grasping hold of his arm in concern.
“Let go of me, Serena.” He groans painfully, forcing me to loosen my grip on him. “I… I need to leave.”
“Just tell me what’s wrong.” I persist, following him when he starts to take off down the road in the opposite direction. “How did you even know that he was my father? I’ve never shown you a picture of him and I don’t look anything thing like him. Why did you act like you know him?”
I continue to fire these questions at him, relentless in my quest to uncover the truth. He’s hiding something from me and I’m determined to find out what it is.
“Fuck… I-I can’t do this right now! Let me go. Don’t come near me, do you understand?”
He shoves me away from him with so much force, he almost knocks me off my feet. I can do nothing but gape at him in astonishment as he walks away from me, quite possibly forever.
And I have no idea why…
Chapter Nine
I come face to face with the man who is responsible for Cole’s bizarre and unnerving behaviour as I walk up my front driveway. My father greets me with a warm smile and opens his arms out for me, hoping I will run towards him and return his embrace.
“Serena! I can’t believe how much you’ve grown! You were such a young girl the last time I saw you and now you’ve turned into a young woman. You’re beautiful.” He gushes, taking a step back so he can observe me properly.
“Hi, Dad.” I reply meekly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable now that I’m in his presence.
He’s still extremely handsome and it’s as though his age has only enhanced his dark, and rugged good looks. There is an unsettling similarity between my father and Cole, a similarity I tend not to think about for fear of knowing that I’m exactly like my mother. I don’t want to make the same mistakes that she did because of a man I cannot resist.
“Where have you been?” My mum snaps at me, pulling me out of my deep contemplation.
“School.” I answer simply, hoping she won’t be able to see through my lie.
She folds her arms across her chest in annoyance, glowering at me as though I deliberately stayed away on purpose.
“Your father has been waiting for you to get home for the past hour.” She explains harshly.
“I’m sorry but I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I tell him, turning to face my dad instead of my infuriating mother. “I decided to catch up on some homework at school and that’s why I’m late back.”
I know it’s yet another lie but it’s not like I can tell them about where I’ve actually been or who I went there with. Sometimes, the safest option is to disguise the truth and hope for the best.
“Smart girl.” He encourages me, smiling proudly.
“If she was so smart she would make sure she came home on time.” My mum retorts spitefully, making her way back indoors.
“Ignore her.” My dad advises me. “She’s always been a little grouchy in the afternoons.”
I observe him chuckle as he rolls his eyes in her direction, moving his gaze back to once he feels me watching him.
“She’s always been that way.” I reply sullenly.
“Listen, do you want to go and grab a quick coffee or something? I’m going to be in town for the next couple of days but I’d really like to take you out tonight. It’s been so long since we last saw one another.”
“That’s not my fault.” I quip harshly, reluctant to engage in any form of verbal exchange with him.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault, Serena. I just want to spend some time with my daughter, is that so terrible?”
I sigh deeply, weighing up the pros and cons of taking him up on his offer. I suppose I should give him a chance, an opportunity to explain things to me and to find out the reasons behind his absence in my life.
“Ok.” I acquiesce, nodding my head slowly.
“Let’s get going then, I don’t want to keep you out too late.”
He walks towards the car that Cole and I were admiring before he took off on me and I stare at my father in astonishment.
“This BMW is yours?”
“Of course, who else would own something like this around here?” He replies haughtily, giving me a playful wink to let me know he’s just teasing.
“Should I let mum know where we’re going?” I ask him, wondering if she would even care if I were to tell her.
“She already knows. I cleared it with her before I left.” He assures me, opening the car door for me.
After spending a couple of hours together, my dad drops me back home around eight o’clock. He promises me he will be in town for the next few days and vows that we will spend more time together before he leaves.
I’m still not sure I entirely trust him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him ever again after the years we’ve spent apart but I have to admit, it is nice to spend time with him again. My father is someone I used to look up to as a child, I was in awe of him and thought he was a damn superhero before he left me.
If he can prove himself to me and promise me he will stick around and stay in touch… I suppose I can see a way forward for us. Forgiveness is a huge part of who I am and I don’t like the idea of being someone who stays angry or resentful. It’s not the sort of person I want to be.
I try phoning Cole as soon as I get home, still concerned about the unexplainable outburst of his from earlier. I almost wish I had the courage to just go by his house and check on him but I really don’t know if he’ll even be there. I have a feeling he doesn’t spend an awful lot of time at home and am also fearful of coming face to face with his mum.
As far as I’m aware, she doesn’t know who I am and I know that my relationship with Cole is one he chooses to keep private. Neither of us want our dysfunctional parents to cause problems for us and I have to respect Cole’s wishes when it comes to keeping us separate from his life at home.
There’s no answer when I try calling him, going straight to voicemail every single time. The fact that Cole is not answering my calls makes me anxious. He’s never ignored me like this before and I’m left feeling incredibly vulnerable and foolish by the time I go to bed. I fall into a restless sleep, struggling to control the racing thoughts inside my head.
It’s one of the first nights that we’ve been apart and my instincts are screaming at me that something is really, really wrong.
I don’t know what it is but something has changed, something which fills me with a sense of dread and foreboding.
It’s different now, at least I know it will be.
I still haven’t heard from Cole when I wake up the next morning. He hasn’t responded to any of my phone calls or text messages, choosing to ignore me and leave me worrying about him instead. His silence is enough to drive me crazy and I swear I actually come close to destroying my phone altogether in exasperation.
I honestly do not understand what’s going on and my frustration only increases as the hours pass by and I hear nothing. In the end I’m forced to pack my things for school and get ready to leave the house on time for Lisa who is due to pick me up any minute. Reaching for my phone one final time, I leave another tearful and heartfelt voice message for Cole, begging him to contact me and let me know what’s going on.
I don’t mention anything about the day before to Lisa, only revealing how straight forward my appointment went with the nurse and the prescription she gave me to start taking contraception.
“So we’re still on for tonight then?” Lisa inquires optimistically, pulling into the school’s large carpark.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I mumble vaguely, unbuckling my seatbelt.
“We are still having that girly night in you promised me?”
“Oh! Of course we are.” I reply enthusiastically, hoping she won’t realise that it had completely slipped my mind. “You want to come over around eight o’clock?”
“That will be fine. Do you want me to bring over some movi
es with me?”
“You can do but please make sure you don’t include any chick flicks.”
“I take it you’re not in the mood for romance?” She teases playfully, raising her eyebrows at me.
“Definitely not.” I retort firmly.
“In that case… I won’t even ask.”
Cole is nowhere to be seen at school and as my day goes on, my anxiety increases. I send him a couple of more messages around lunchtime, eager to find out what’s going on and the reason behind his absence and prolonged silence.
I know his odd demeanour has something to do with my father but I have no idea what it could be. I need answers and I’m determined to find out the truth, if only he would talk to me or at least return my phone calls.
There’s no sign of Jonathan at school which is something I’m thankful for and I manage to get through my day without much animosity from anyone. I walk past Louise in the main corridor at the end of the day but she doesn’t say anything to me, choosing to ignore me completely. It doesn’t bother me at all, realising that I prefer Louise’s silence over her contempt and make my way out of school so I can meet Lisa.
She drops me off at home and we arrange to meet up later on tonight. My mum isn’t at home so I decide to run myself a hot bath and tidy the house before Lisa comes over. I also decide to switch my phone off so I won’t be tempted to keep checking it all night. Lisa has been such an incredible friend to me, the least I owe her is my undivided attention this evening.
Lisa knocks on my door a couple of hours later with a stack of films for us to watch and some popcorn. We curl up on the sofa and spend the rest of the night in front of the TV, devouring our way through snacks and hiding behind our cushions when we reach a truly scary part of one of the movies.
She looks at me once the film has finished, watching me closely. It’s as though she’s deciding whether or not she should say something to me and my curiosity wins out in the end.
“What is it?” I prompt her, nudging her gently with my foot.
“I’m just wondering if you’re ok. You don’t seem like yourself this evening.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve just got a few things on my mind right now.” I admit, sighing wearily.
That Summer (Part One) Page 18