by Ruff, K. S.
Michael smiled as he cut into his own omelet. “Bon appétit.”
I watched the bright orange and white Koi swim lazily through the water at the base of the waterfall while we quietly ate. I was hesitant to ruin the tranquil environment, but I still had a number of questions for Michael that I was anxious to have answered. I shored up my courage as I watched the Koi drift closer to the surface. My gaze eventually shifted to Michael. “Have you ever killed anyone?”
Michael’s face blanched. “No.”
“But you work with terrorists?” I prompted, closely studying his face.
Michael turned to watch the Koi. “One man’s terrorist…” he responded softly.
“…is another man’s freedom fighter? Michael, surely you don’t believe that?”
He shrugged. “I may not always agree with their methods, but they often fight for a greater good.”
I lowered my voice to a whisper. “What exactly do you do for them, Michael?”
His eyes searched mine. “Do you really want to know?”
I folded my arms across my chest as I leaned back in the chair. “Michael, you have asked me to give up everything that I know and love to be here with you. I’m in sufficient danger to require a bodyguard. I think I deserve to know.”
“I can protect you far better than that soldier ever could,” Michael responded moodily.
I shook my head. “I’m not so sure, Michael. You have pulled me into a very dangerous life.”
A look of panic flashed in Michael’s eyes before his face hardened. “No one who knows me would dare hurt you.”
I shrugged. “Perhaps, but I still deserve to know what I’m getting myself into.”
Michael huffed out a breath. “Fine. I wash their money and then invest it for them.”
I had suspected as much, given his investment background and the white collar crimes he‘d been accused of. “And what if you invest poorly?”
Michael looked offended. “I do not invest poorly… ever. Besides, their funds are sufficiently diversified. One wrong decision has very little impact when you’re working with this kind of money.”
My gaze returned to the Koi as I processed Michael’s revelation. “How did you ever get involved in all of this?”
Michael reached for my hand. “I didn’t know who they were in the beginning. They were just one among many clients. They only had me investing small amounts of money, then. I am quite good at what I do. The money they sent my way kept increasing. Eventually, they insisted that I represent only them. Shortly after I agreed, they asked me to wash the money that I was investing. Apparently, someone else had been washing it before it was turned over to me. By the time I learned what I was dealing with, there was no going back. You don’t walk away from people like that.”
My breath caught. Michael was in precisely the same position that I was in. He was completely unable to walk away from a life he didn’t necessarily want. No wonder he had taken the same approach with me. He knew first hand just how effective it could be.
Michael squeezed my hand as he steered the conversation into an unexpected direction. “Mon coeur, the man who took you to Washington… did he hurt you?”
My mind begged me not to go there, to that place where I had nearly died seven months ago, but memories from Justin’s abduction assaulted me in such vivid detail that it felt as if it had only been a matter of days. My eyes slammed shut as I tried to force the images away. I opened my eyes on a sigh and slowly met Michael’s gaze. “Yes. Justin hurt me. I still struggle with nightmares, and...” I shivered violently, “this kidnapping has brought back a lot of bad memories for me.”
Michael’s jaw clenched as his hand tightened around mine. “Did he…”
I bowed my head, then shuttered my eyes behind the cascade of hair that had fallen across my face… anything to avoid the fury and fear building in Michael’s eyes. “No,” I replied in a very small voice. “Justin drugged me, hit me, handcuffed me to the bathroom sink, then left me without food for days. He tried to rape me, but he ended up suffocating me when he tried to muffle my screams. I passed out, and for whatever reason that was enough to make him stop. I escaped before he could try again. He chased me down with a shotgun, but Kadyn and his friends found me in the woods just before Justin did. They wrestled the gun away from him. Then my friend, Dan, knocked him out.”
Michael ripped his hand from mine. He looked as if he’d been burned. “He nearly killed you, twice?”
I nodded as I wrapped my arms around my now roiling stomach. “Kadyn saved my life.” I risked a glance at Michael’s face. I wondered how much Justin’s abduction factored into Michael’s timing. He probably wasn’t expecting some other man to kidnap me when he was planning to do the very same thing. I looked back down at the Koi shimmering in the pond. I was terrified to ask my next question. “Is Kadyn still alive?”
“Yes,” Michael rasped brokenly. He shoved his omelet aside. “I know he saved your life, Kristine. I… I am grateful for that, but… is that the reason you’re still with him, or do you really love him?”
I exhaled softly. “Kadyn is kind and gentle. He’s patient with me. He isn’t manipulative or controlling, and he doesn’t force me to do anything. He has devoted his life to making this world a safer place. How could you not love someone like that?”
Michael’s eyes were steeped in pain. “Why did you refuse to marry me when I proposed?”
I leaned back in my chair as I quietly considered his question. “Because you scared me, Michael.”
Michael looked like he had been slapped. “How did I scare you? I never hurt you. I showed you nothing but love and respect, and still you refused to marry me.”
I tightened my arms around myself before trying to explain. “I had just gotten out of an abusive marriage when we started dating. I was scared to begin with. Then you came out of nowhere and proposed on the fourth date. You were so intense… so consuming… and you moved so fast. You didn’t give me any time to get to know you. How could I marry let alone love someone I didn’t even know?”
Michael rose from his chair. He reached for both of my hands, then gently pulled me to my feet. His voice broke as he spoke. “Mon coeur, I loved you from the first moment I saw you.”
I searched his eyes, then abruptly looked away. “Michael, that is not love.”
Michael hooked his finger under my chin as he gently forced me to look at him. “You don’t think I know my own heart?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know your heart, Michael. That’s the problem. You never gave me a chance to get to know you before you started pressuring me to marry you.”
“I’ll show you my heart,” he responded gruffly. He claimed my lips in a kiss that was both brutal and raw.
Fear and desire spun through me. My brain warred against my body’s response. I wanted to slap him… I wanted to resist… but I was too confused and far too scared. Hadn’t I decided not to resist? My breath caught as Michael began kissing my neck. I swayed undecidedly.
Michael steadied me as he slowly pulled away. His eyes burned with desire as he lowered himself to my chair. He slowly pulled me toward him. I stood completely transfixed as he caressed my legs from ankle to thigh before pulling them over his lap. Michael pulled me snug against his body. I closed my eyes against the intimacy of the position. The feel of his hands slowly caressing my back left me suspended in a dark seduction.
I opened my eyes but remained spellbound as he took each of my fingers in his mouth. My eyes fluttered shut as his lips captured my wrist in an erotic open-mouthed kiss. My breathing turned ragged as he worked his way up my arm. My heart pounded out its confusion as my body responded to the erection now pressing between my legs.
Michael’s lips worked their way up my arm and neck before once again claiming my lips. I tried to hate him for everything he had done, to be repulsed by his touch and the feel of his lips against mine, but, for some reason far outside my comprehension, I could not.
A
searing desire pulsed through me as Michael’s greedy mouth made its way to my swollen breasts. He nipped at the hard peaks that had formed through the thin fabric of the dress. His hands slid up my thighs slowly lifting the dress. I groaned as my body pleaded yes, but my brain screamed no. My hoarse plea fell somewhere in between. “Stop, Michael. Please. We need to stop.”
He released me immediately. I nearly fell as I scrambled off his lap. Guilt consumed me as my thoughts returned to Kadyn. I stood shaken and confused by the way Michael was making me feel. How could I possibly want him after everything he had done? In the library, I had thought it best not to resist him, but now that I was faced with the reality of that decision… it was so much easier said than done. I couldn’t turn my feelings for Kadyn off like some damn flashlight.
“Mon coeur?” Michael asked. He looked hesitant to move.
“I’m sorry, Michael. I… I… I just need time. Please, just give me some time.” I choked back a sob as I ran from the garden. I stumbled back to our room and threw myself across the bed as tears streamed down my face.
I was devastated. I couldn’t believe Michael could still make me want him. When he kissed me, everyone I loved, everything I respected in myself, and everything I believed faded to gray. I was in love with Kadyn. Being with another man was wrong. My heart ached as I began to sob.
“But you can’t have Kadyn…” a small voice whispered from inside my mind.
“I don’t love Michael…” I silently insisted.
“Sacrifice everything,” the small voice replied.
“Everything,” I numbly repeated.
“Sacrifice everything,” we whispered as one.
* * * * * *
Michael gave me time to battle my emotions. He didn’t return to our room until shortly before dinner. He sat beside me on the bed, then gently brushed the hair from my face. “Je suis désolé. I am sorry. It would appear that I have frightened you again. It’s just… I… I want you so much, it makes me lose my mind. You do want me, mon amour? I can feel that you want me.”
I slowly removed Michael’s hand from my hair. “Yes, Michael. I do want you, but I don’t want to want you.”
Confusion flitted across Michael’s face before he abruptly changed the topic. “I would like to give you a tour of the house before dinner if you are feeling up to it.”
I scooted up in bed. Touring the house sounded like a much smarter course of action than sitting in bed with Michael. “That sounds nice. Do you mind if I wash up before we go?” My lips tasted salty, and my cheeks felt sticky from all the tears.
Michael’s eyes were sad as he trailed his finger down my cheek. He stood and helped me from the bed. “Take whatever time you need,” he murmured softly. He kissed me on top of the head.
I walked into the bathroom, took one look in the mirror, and rolled my eyes. I looked like I had been crying for a week. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and ran a comb through my hair. Vanity got the best of me, so I dabbed some concealer under my eyes and swiped some mascara on before returning to the bedroom.
Michael was standing at the windows overlooking the garden. His tailored dress shirt accentuated his broad back and lean waist. His hands were shoved causally in the pockets of his gray slacks. Michael turned as I entered the room. “Tu es tellement belle,” he said, catching his breath.
I gave him a confused look, not understanding the words.
“You are so beautiful,” he explained.
Not beautiful… broken, I thought. “Thank you,” I responded softly. I wondered how he could find me beautiful when my eyes were so puffy and red.
Michael reached for both of my hands. He held my gaze as he brought them to his lips. “I will do my best to be patient, mon coeur, but you should know that I am not a very patient man.”
I looked down at the floor. I didn’t know how to respond.
Michael pulled me into a soft embrace. “Let me introduce you to your new home,” he murmured softly. He wrapped his arm around me as he led me through the house. I tried not to resist the embrace.
Although each room in the house was grand in its own way, the garden terrace was still my favorite room. The pool room came in at a close second. The pool was secreted in the basement. Steam rolled low over the warm water in the cool room. A number of palm trees were scattered throughout the room in large decorative pots. The ivory terracotta tile was swirled with a rich caramel color, which gave the illusion of blowing and drifting sand. Like most rooms in the house, there were a number of sitting areas. The room was fairly dark because the recessed sun lamps were turned off, but the ceiling sparkled with a million tiny LED lights that twinkled like stars. The ambience conjured up visions of skinny dipping under the stars in a remote tropical lake.
Another tray of food was waiting for us when we returned to the bedroom. I wondered how the staff could be so unobtrusive. Were they trying to respect our privacy, trying to avoid Michael, or was it simply a job requirement to remain unseen?
Michael poured our drinks as we settled onto the couch. “Mon coeur, there is something I have been meaning to ask you.”
I glanced at Michael as I pulled our plates from the tray. “Yes?” I inquired nervously.
His eyes softened. “What happened to your little dog? He wasn’t at the apartment yesterday, and I haven’t seen you walk him since May.”
The memory of losing Cade brought tears to my eyes. “Cade died. He was so old, his little heart gave out.” I would never forget the night Kadyn tried to save him. I thought Cade was having a seizure. His body was wracked with spasms. Then he became very still. I was clutching him to my chest and sobbing hysterically when Kadyn pulled him from my arms and resuscitated him. We rushed him to the animal hospital, only to have him die in my arms a few hours later.
The room blurred as tears stole silently down my cheeks. Losing Cade after sixteen years, especially after what we had been through together, had been one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Michael gently wiped away the tears. “Would you like another dog?”
I shook my head. “No, Michael. No other dog could possibly take his place.” Of that I was certain. Cade was a small Shih Tzu, weighing only nine pounds. He had been broken and battered trying to protect me throughout an abusive marriage that dragged on for years. He had seen me through more than any human ever had. There was no replacing that.
“Je suis désolé,” Michael whispered as he kissed me on the temple. He pulled me close to him on the couch, then hesitantly handed me a plate. “Bon appétit,” he said with an encouraging smile.
I forced my thoughts away from Cade as I accepted the plate. “Bon appétit,” I replied. I took a small bite of the roast duck and hummed appreciatively when the savory bread crumb stuffing melted in my mouth. I glanced at Michael before taking another bite. “So tell me about your staff. Who do you have working here besides the cook?”
Michael looked thoughtful as he sampled the roast duck. “We have a butler, three maids, and a gardener. I have a personal assistant and a bodyguard. You have already met your bodyguard.” He paused as he took a sip of wine. “There are actually quite a few people who guard the property.”
I silently studied Michael. He seemed completely unfazed by the large staff. “I had no idea so many people were in the house.”
Michael shrugged. “If you notice them, then they aren’t doing a very good job.”
I set my plate aside and reached for my wine. “Do they all live here?”
Michael shook his head. “Our bodyguards and the butler are the only ones who live in the main house. The security staff work in three eight hour shifts. So, they’re always around, even at night. The cook and her granddaughter are staying in the guest house at the back of the property, but the rest of the staff have their own homes.”
I kicked my heels off and tucked my feet under me as I settled in to watch the flames dance in the fireplace. I took a sip of wine. I sighed contentedly when I felt my body relax. �
�Do you always eat in this room?”
Michael set his plate on the coffee table. He turned toward me as he leaned back against the couch. “Oui. Pourquoi?”
I smiled. Michael seemed to speak more French when he was drinking wine. “I was just wondering why you don’t eat in the dining room. It’s so lovely.”
Michael draped his arm across the back of the couch. He gazed at the fire while playing absently with my hair. “The dining room is too big and cold. I only use it for entertaining.”
I thought about the ballroom and the dining room and wondered what type of entertaining Michael did and with what kind of guests. I took another sip of wine as I shifted my attention toward Michael. “I didn’t notice any televisions when we toured the house.”
Michael scoffed. “Television is overrated. We have a few, but they are hidden behind paintings. I can show you how to access them tomorrow. There are very few channels in English, mon coeur.”
I nodded. “Speaking of which, I’d like to work on my French so I can better communicate with your staff. I’d like to find some online instruction or purchase software so I can study.” I stilled, suddenly realizing I wasn’t in a position to purchase anything.
Michael stiffened next to me. “Why? I can teach you French. Besides, I am not ready for you to have a computer.”
I glanced at Michael in surprise. “What? Why?”
Michael gave me a knowing look. “Because you will try to reach out to your family and friends.”
I scowled even though it was a reasonable conclusion. “Michael, I’m not going to do anything that would put them in danger.”
Michael resumed playing with my hair. “I know, but on this point, I am the one who needs more time.”
“Okay,” I finally conceded. I was hugely disappointed. I was used to having a cell phone, a television, and a computer. I was already feeling disconnected without them, but I recognized how important it was for me to pick my battles with Michael. His concessions on intimacy made it worth yielding on this point.