by Becky Due
Rebecca hoped there would be more strong female roles and better role models for women in the future—leaders and champions, not porn stars, prostitutes and victims.
9:28 PM
Rebecca jumped when the phone rang. She checked the time. It was almost nine-thirty. Jack always called to let her know that he made it okay and to say good night.
Rebecca didn’t like to fly, and she was a little nervous when Jack flew off for business. She used to make him call her as soon as he landed to let her know he made it without a plane crash, but Jack didn’t like the pressure. He wanted to stay focused on work and his goals for the trip. So he said he would rather call her once he was settled in his room, relaxed and prepared for the next morning.
Rebecca didn’t understand until she started traveling for business herself. She had to get her luggage, catch a cab, get to her hotel and check in, all the while mentally preparing and going over the agenda for the following day. She always forgot to call Jack as soon as she landed. His point was well taken.
“Hi, honey, I made it. I’m checked in and already in my pajamas.”
“That sounds good. Oh, honey, you gave me quite a jolt this evening. You left the music on full blast again.”
“Oh, Reb, I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. It wouldn’t have been that bad except it was rock and roll.”
“Very funny. How was your day?”
“Great. How’s Vancouver?
“It’s rainy and gray.”
“Here, too. I hope we don’t get a storm.”
“Oh, I have to get that generator.” He sounded disappointed in himself. “Do you want me to call somebody to get a generator out there?”
“No, it’s okay. It can wait. You’ll be back in a couple days, and we’ll do it then.”
“Okay.” He exhaled. “Well, honey, are you headed to bed, or are you still working?”
“I’m still working, but I’m getting tired.”
“Don’t stay up too late. I’ll let you get back to work. I have my football game on, so I’m going to order room service and enjoy the game.”
“Do they have something good or will it be your usual?”
“Funny you should ask. I was just looking at the menu and it looks like I’ll be having my usual. Can’t go wrong with grilled cheese.”
Rebecca smiled. She knew him too well. “But, I’m a little chilled, so I’m also going to order some soup. Bet you didn’t expect that.”
“Honey, you are full of surprises.”
Jack laughed. “Oh, I’m in room ten-thirty-two. You have the hotel phone number, right?”
“Yes, I have it.”
“Okay. Well, I’m going to say good night now so I can place my order. You know me, I’ll probably fall asleep during the game. Call me if you need me, or I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Okay, good night.”
“Good night, honey. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Sleep well.”
Rebecca hung up the phone and started wondering about Jack. What if he was heading to a strip bar or calling a prostitute or wanting to masturbate to pornography? Does he go to strip clubs with people from work? Does he do anything that would jeopardize their relationship? What if her husband was one of those men who takes his penis out and rubs it on women? What if she was living in denial and her husband was living a secret double life?
What if this wonderful marriage she had was a fake? What if she woke up one day with a strange, sexually transmitted disease?
Every woman must think, not my man; he wouldn’t do that. Not my son. Not my dad. Not my brother. But somebody was doing it. If there was no demand, there wouldn’t be so many strip clubs and prostitutes. Or was it that because there were so many women willing to demean themselves through all types of prostitution, that men effortlessly justify using and abusing women because these women are so easily accessible?
After being immersed in Angie’s information, she didn’t know if she should feel lucky to have such a great man or if she should be afraid and untrusting. Rebecca had always felt that trusting somebody was a wonderful quality, but she started to wonder if trust had become the same as naivety.
She started to cry. She hated doubting Jack. He had never given her a reason to doubt him, and he seemed to trust her. She could just as easily have a boyfriend come over every time he went out of town.
But doubts nibbled at her, so she decided to try to catch him doing something wrong. She would go through his office for evidence, then in forty-five minutes she would call his room. She would be able to tell if he had somebody there with him. If he wasn’t in his room, then it was possible that he went to a strip club with some of the guys he worked with. That was what she would do. She wanted to be reassured that Jack was all she thought he was.
Rebecca’s neck felt stiff, so she decided to do some stretches and yoga on the floor before going through his office. She took deep breaths and exhaled, releasing tension in her neck, shoulders and back. With each deep breath, she felt herself become more centered and calm. First, she smiled, then she started to laugh at her behavior and crazy thoughts. She knew that if she wanted to be suspicious, she could drive herself mad. Jack wasn’t doing anything that would hurt her heart, and she wasn’t going to do anything that would hurt his.
Rebecca finished her stretches, then returned once more to Angie’s material. She plopped back down on the couch and began to read. She loved her career even though the world it exposed could be horrifying. Rebecca took a deep breath and hoped her next client would be a comedian.
11:20 PM
After reading more of Angie’s relentless revelations about abused women and children, Rebecca was frustrated and angry. She felt like going downstairs and lifting weights or running on the treadmill to relieve some of her anxiety. But she knew she was tired and she had been drinking, so she decided to get some fresh air and take Lily out again.
Rebecca jogged to disarm the alarm while throwing air punches. She unlocked the door, and she and Lily went outside. Rebecca stood there waiting for Lily to go while repeating, “I pity the fool who messes with me!” and “I pity the fool who messes with women!” She hadn’t thought about Mr. T for a long time.
The wind had died down and the night was still and beautiful. But Rebecca’s mind was racing. She had so many great ideas for Angie and how to help her. Rebecca was impressed with Angie’s persistence, and she was thankful for people like Angie who had the heart and ability to make a difference. Angie was not a victim—she was a strong woman. All women have a story and all women could relate to Angie.
Lily finished and attempted to bury her potty, digging in every direction, turning and dancing around.
Rebecca laughed. “You must feel so much better, you little stinker. You are the cutest little pug in the world! Come on, let’s go in where it’s warm.” Lily took off running for the door. Rebecca had to run to catch up so Lily wouldn’t pull on the leash and choke herself. They ran inside.
Lily walked to the first step to go upstairs to bed. “You want to go to bed? Oh, okay. Let me turn off the lights and set the alarm.” Rebecca went to the kitchen and set the alarm. She picked up a few more things to read, then turned off all the lights except the upstairs light. She glanced at the front door as she started up the stairs. The lock was in the vertical position—it wasn’t locked. “Oh, my God!” She rushed back down and locked it.
Rebecca and Lily headed upstairs to bed. Cringing at her uneasiness, Rebecca pulled on her pajamas. Her strength and confidence had been profoundly shaken after Roy’s release from prison, especially now that Jack was out of town. For the last couple of weeks Rebecca had become more sensitive to the continuous stories of rape, abduction, stalking and murder on the news. She tried to deny that she was afraid alone and overly concerned with door and window locks.
Rebecca thought about her old neighborhood and wondered when and how she had lost her courage. She wasn’t afraid of anything when she was you
nger, and she was angry that Roy had the power to change her. She didn’t want to live in fear. She wanted to be tough again—she wanted to be fearless.
At times throughout her life, Rebecca had harnessed that youthful toughness and learned to tap back into it. After the attack, she regained some of her strength and confidence after she replaced the lock on her door, started taking self-defense classes, joined a gym and started lifting weights, and installed a simple battery-powered alarm for the only window that could be accessed without a ladder.
Rebecca never wanted to be a victim again. She felt empowered by that conviction, and she hoped that when it came right down to it, she would be able to protect herself. It didn’t matter if it were coyotes, Roy or a cheating husband, she hoped that she could handle anything. Which started her thinking about when she chased a burglar.
She and Jack were staying in a hotel in Rochester, Minnesota, where they went every year for their Mayo Clinic physicals. And every year they had the same room, a poolside suite with a door going out to the pool and another door that went out into the hall. Jack liked to sit out in the courtyard by the pool every morning to read his paper and drink coffee.
They were both early risers, so one morning, still in their pajamas, they decided to go for a quick walk around the hotel. Around five-thirty, when they got back to their room, they were shocked by a man going through their things. Jack tried to grab him by the arm, but he got away and took off running. The defeated look on Jack’s face and not knowing what the thief had already stuffed into his backpack made Rebecca angry, so she kicked off her flip flops and yelled, “Call the police!” as she took off after him. Running as fast as she could, she chased him out of the pool area and into a hallway. Then, not sure if her body wanted to go faster than her feet or vice versa, she fell hard and jammed her shoulder. She was thankful she had fallen on the carpet and not on the cement by the pool. She jumped up and continued after him.
He ran into a fire escape stairwell; she was only one or two floors from him. She heard a door close and she started trying to open all the doors as she went down. The first floor door was the only one that opened, but she saw nobody. She asked a few people if they had seen a guy wearing black and carrying a red backpack running in this area. Nobody had. So she headed back upstairs to the second floor using a different set of stairs. She looked around and at the fire escape door, there it was, a bent hanger lying on the floor. He had propped a door open for his escape. Pissed that she hadn’t caught him, Rebecca headed to the front desk where she saw Jack and two police officers.
The cops treated her like she was too little, too weak or maybe just too much of a woman, and she shouldn’t have chased the guy; it made her uncomfortable. She was just trying to protect herself, her husband and their property. And maybe she’d take a bad guy off the streets for a while. The only place the hotel had a camera was on the first floor, so they had video of Rebecca, in her pajamas, running out of the fire escape but no pictures of the crook. The police said they would continue checking the area.
The bellhop and front-desk workers at the hotel were amused. They teased her, but not in a mean way. “What would you have done if you caught him?”
“I would’ve beat the living shit out of him.”
They laughed. Jack stood by, proud of his Rebecca. They asked Jack, “Why did you let her go after him.”
“I can’t stop her from doing anything she wants to do. I just said go get him, honey, I’ll call the police.”
Everybody laughed.
And it made it easier to laugh, too, because Jack told Rebecca that he didn’t think the thief got anything, maybe a little cash. He asked her how much money she had had in her coin purse.
“I think thirty or forty dollars. Did he get my necklace?”
“Nope. We were lucky he got your thirty or forty bucks and that’s it.”
Rebecca was relieved. She had put her ten-thousand-dollar diamond solitaire necklace inside her coin purse. Her computer was right where the thief was standing, along with Jack’s wallet and money clip with cash. They were thankful that they caught him when they did. If she had known that he only took a few bucks, she wasn’t sure she would have gone after him, but in that moment nobody could have stopped her.
The next day Jack and Rebecca went for breakfast at the hotel cafe. Jack proudly told their server about Rebecca chasing the burglar. The server loved what Jack was telling her and she turned and beamed at Rebecca. Jack continued bragging. “We never saw the hotel security guards until pretty, feminine little Rebecca chases down the burglar! I can’t imagine how they feel.” He smiled at Rebecca. “Well, they’re making their rounds now, aren’t they?”
The server looked back to Rebecca. “If I had seen you chasing some guy down, I would have helped you! We’d have got him!”
Rebecca, smiling at the memory, had a brilliant idea. She grabbed her notes and wrote, “Join forces with Angie. Find other women and pitch full segments.” She pictured all women coming together to join in the chase to stop all violence against women and children. Rebecca believed that women together were unstoppable and could change the world. The trick was to get all women to realize their worth, their strength and their endless possibilities when they worked together.
Monday
12:30 AM
Rebecca sat up and adjusted her pillows. Reaching for more of Angie’s pages, she realized her neck and back were tight and stiff again. She did a few neck rolls, then she checked the time. Damn, she wished she had made an appointment with her chiropractor or massage therapist during business hours. A complete spa day was what she wanted, but that she would save as a reward for when she finished her work: a concrete PR plan for Angie.
Rebecca had an idea. While traveling, she and Jack often had massage therapists from the hotel spa come to the room to give them each a massage at the same time. Rebecca liked the deep-tissue therapeutic massage, and Jack liked the light massage so he could relax. Jack would always start snoring within the first few minutes of the massage, then later he would tell Rebecca that he tried to sleep but couldn’t.
Rebecca went downstairs and looked in the city yellow pages under massage therapist, wondering if she could get somebody to come out to the house Monday or Tuesday, preferably a female. She knew she would have to pay more because she lived out of town, but it would be worth it. But did female massage therapists go out to people’s homes at all, because it might be unsafe?
Rebecca hated how many massage businesses looked like a front for prostitution. Several would come out to the house, but they didn’t look legitimate. They were not actually certified massage therapists, with some mentioning nationality or being discreet in their listings. Rebecca was taken aback—she had been naive and Angie was starting to open her eyes.
Losing interest in a massage, she closed the phone book, walked into the living room and lay down on the floor. She stretched, tightening and relaxing every muscle in her body. She heard Lily jump off the bed and come downstairs. Lily stepped up on Rebecca’s chest and licked her face. “Lily,” Rebecca giggled.
Suddenly, there was a loud thud and Lily started barking. Rebecca sat up quickly; stunned and afraid, she forced herself to get up and check it out. She grabbed the telephone and walked toward the sound. Lily followed, whining and huffing. Rebecca was glad she wasn’t alone.
Rebecca cautiously walked down the hall and opened the main spare bedroom door. She turned on the light. Everything was in its place. The blinds were all open; she couldn’t see outside, but she knew that if somebody was outside they could see in. Hating her exposure, she turned off the bedroom light, quickly walked over to the deck light switch and turned it on. One of the outside chairs was lying on its side. Her first reaction was to call the police, but as she stood there looking outside, she realized the wind had picked up again and strong gusts were coming from the west. Their outdoor furniture had been knocked around from the wind many times before. She took a deep breath, sighing in relief.
Rebecca went to the kitchen, poured another glass of wine and started thinking about Roy as she listened to the wind making the furniture dance around on the decks. Roy would have made a song out of it. He loved music, and she thought he should have been a musician, not a firefighter. And he had that certain oddness or depression about him that made him seem more like an artist.
On a couple of their dates Roy would start humming a song made up of the sounds around them. Although at times it bugged her, she knew he was talented and passionate about music. One night before they said goodbye, he started singing “Blue Eyes” by Elton John to her. She figured he sang that song to every blue-eyed girl he dated, but it was a nice gesture. Rebecca hoped Roy was doing good things with his life, maybe working on his music or doing something good for himself to get his life back on track.
Rebecca suddenly ducked in fear. Somebody was knocking on the deck door off the kitchen nook. Lily started barking again. Rebecca ran into the living room, grabbed the phone and stayed hidden from that door. Her heart was racing. She checked the clock on the wall; it was a little after one. She sat down on the floor, hidden from all doors and windows to that deck. “Oh, my God!” she whispered. “Oh, my God!”
Lily was still aggressively barking at the deck door.
Rebecca could hear the wind gusts and the furniture jumping around. She heard the knock again, but it sounded different. It didn’t sound like it was at the door, but like it was furniture knocking on the deck. Rebecca peeked around the wall and saw nobody at the door. Even Lily had settled down. She listened—and figured nobody had been at the door. It was just the wind.