“Ready to go?” I nod as I eat the salad going down the stairs. I try to be careful because this baby is growing so fast that I can no longer see my feet.
“Wait, do my shoes match?” Max looks and starts to laugh and shakes his head. “What color are they?”
“Well you have one white sneakers and one black ballet flat; do you want me to go get you the right matching pair?” Max laughs. I sigh.
“No, I’m pregnant and can’t see my feet; I can live with the consequences.”
“Let’s get going. Is Abby coming with us?” I shrug. Abby has been M.I.A with a lot of this pregnancy but she is also a new mom, working full time, and having her parents here full time. So I can’t fault her but I had hoped we would be in this together especially as I am doing this on my own.
“I’m here!” Abby rushes out and gets into the back seat huffing and puffing. “I traded shifts with Reagan and dad is watching Ethan for me. I can’t wait to see my niece on the big screen.” I sniffle. We talk about Max’s new plan and Abby couldn’t be happier. Abby also volunteered to run errands for me while we look for someone to come to the place. “I’ll even see if Shawn can do background checks on them. We need to protect the family.” I brought my sketch book with me since I’ve been itching to draw and work on the baby’s room. After I check in with the receptionist, I go over to the far wall to where Abby and Max are sitting. They are talking about something but shut up when I get there.
“Are you talking about me?” I smile. They are horrible at keeping secrets and I know they are planning a baby shower for me. I overheard Cash, Abby, Reagan and Max talking about it.
“Of course not.” Abby’s voice is high pitched which means that she’s lying. I wink at her letting her know that I don’t believe her. I pull out my sketch book and flip to the page where I have the dimensions already in place. Jonathan and Max did some measuring while I sat in the chair in the room writing them and asking them to redo something. “What are you working on?” Abby points to the sketch book.
“The nursery. Max’s contractors are going to come in and knock out this wall to my bathroom so I can walk through it to get to the baby’s room. Plus, we are going to add in some natural light too over here.” I show Abby the old church like windows that were stained glass along the wall.
“Sarah, these look amazing. I want you to redo Ethan's room, hell the whole house.”
“You can’t afford me.” I laugh.
“I might not be able to, but Cash can.” We laugh and I agree to help her. Abby got so excited that she started making notes on everything that she wants in the house. I look around the waiting room and frown. I see couples everywhere, men rubbing the bellies of their partners while they are kissing on their hands. I blink fast to try to stop the tears and when that doesn’t work, I decide to go to the bathroom quickly. I lock myself into one of the stalls and cry. I hear a faint knock on the stall door, “Sarah?” Abby questions. I sniffle and blow my nose before walking out to see Abby standing there with her arms out stretched waiting for me to walk into them. I do so as I cry on her shoulder. I notice my reflection in the mirror, blood shot eyes, snot coming down my nose, mascara everywhere and my hair matted onto my forehead. I look a hot mess. Abby rubs my back and lets me cry. She says nothing and it’s exactly what I need. Max opens the main door and yells that they called my name. Abby and I break apart as I wash my face quickly trying to make myself somewhat presentable. Abby leaves me alone to get ready so I smile as I walk out to her and Max.
“Let’s go see this little girl.” I smile weakly. I love my baby girl who I haven’t met yet and I’m thankful for that special time with ‘Doc’ to give me this gift even if I never meet him. Jensen pops into my head and I smile. We walk into the office as the nurse does her thing. I get to teary eyed looking at my baby. Dr. May lets me know that everything is moving along nicely and my blood pressure is still high even on the limited bed rest. I was honest with her that I was a tad more active but nothing major. Dr. May gives me a prescription for my high blood pressure and then reassures me that it won’t hurt the baby. I can slowly return to normal activity but no lifting and limit myself.
As we leave the office and I’m feeling better, so of course I have a million things running through my head that I want to do first. “Slow down with the thoughts.” Max laughs. I smile at him as he is usually the one who can read me better than anyone. “What do you want to do first?”
“Food. I want to go sit somewhere and eat. Feed me!”
“Do you want to go to the diner, pizza, the hotel, or the store?”
“Pizza!” I clap with excitement. The pizza shop is right next door to the pharmacy I use so it’s killing two birds with one stone. Max and I sit down at the family owned pizza palace. Abby had to get back to work since Joan needed to take one of Nic’s kids to the doctor since both Shawn and Nic are working without having a replacement.
“Do you still think we should get some interns to help?” Max looks at his menu. I look around to see families sitting together in the booths around the room. I pay close attention to this one woman who has two small kids by herself. She’s whispering harsh to her kids like my gram used to do it to me and they laugh. My heart breaks for her as she sighs and flops backwards on the booth. I stare at her when she looks up to smile, her kids, a boy and a girl, are coloring a picture then tell her they love her. I tear up as I watch how her frustration changes to love and understanding. The waitress comes over to the table to take our order.
“Excuse me, do you see that young woman with those two kids, I would like to pay for their meal.” The waitress makes note of it and we order a large meat lovers pizza with breadsticks. “It feels great to get out of the walls of the apartment.”
“I bet. I go crazy if we don’t do anything for a day or two.”
“I still want to do the intern. Do you know of the design school around here? I would love to stop before heading home.” Max starts googling designs school and finds a few and we check out their website to make sure it’s what we want. We find a good one that’s been around for a while and we find out it’s about thirty minutes from here. “I can’t wait to get back to work. I’m sure that Jensen and the kids are itching to get back to their house.”
“They understand with your medical problems and now that we have the bathroom as the priority, I think he is good, plus the kids love spending that time with their grandparents.” I shrug. We eat in silence at first then start talking about work and getting more clients now that it’s the New Year.
The emergency room has been so busy that most days I’m lucky to get home in time to see the kids for about ten minutes before they go to bed. I need a vacation. Max and Sarah have been amazing. They got my grandmother’s room and bathroom done in days so now she feels comfortable.
Now that I am back at work I had Dr. Harris fax me the test results. I’m conflicted if I want to move back to my house or stay with my parents because I don’t think my grandmother has much longer. I stare at the schedules that I need to approve for the next couple of months. I groan and look over the requests and the schedule.
“Dad,” Bennett says my name, “Did you hear what I said?”
“No. Sorry kid.” I look up to the doorway to my office to see Bennett and Jonathan standing there.
“Can I stay at Jonathan’s for the week of spring break?” Bennett and Jonathan come to sit in my office on the couch that I’ve spent plenty of time sleeping on.
“When?” I shake my head to clear out the thoughts of my grandmother to focus on my son who is standing in front of me.
“Spring break starts on Monday but since it is Friday, I was hoping that I could stay the weekend too.”
“No. Why don’t you split the time?” Bennett starts to whine and say it’s unfair, “Okay then the answer is no and you can spend the week at home with no game system, phone or friends.”
“Why are you being such an ass?” Bennett remarks as he stands up. Jonathan tries
to grab him before leaving the office.
“Sorry Dr. Causer.” Jonathan chases after Bennett. I start to head out when I see Robin and Michelle coming my way. Oh joy more drama.
“Jensen, was that Bennett?” Michelle asks. I nod. “Wow he looks so much like me.”
“What can I do for you?”
“She wants her kids.” Robin spews. Michelle tells Robin to shut up.
“Excuse me?” I lean in to exaggerate my words.
“I was wondering if you talked to them.”
“Are you trying to take them from me?” Robin avoids eye contact with me and Michelle. “I told you that I would talk to them and I did.” I walk away from them. Michelle catches up to me and Robin is walking in the other direction. “You can’t have them because I will fight you every step of the way.”
“Robin spoke out of turn. I want back in their lives, a relationship. I would never take them from you. You are their father and I’m just the mom who abandoned them.” Michelle says.
“They want to see you too but not without me there. I told them that we will do it at a restaurant and I’ll be a table over.”
“Why can’t it be just the three of us?”
“Michelle, you’ve been gone for twelve years. They have no memories of you. They have my memories of when we first dated, got married, and had the kids. They don’t know or trust you. It’s their way or no way. I won’t put them in a position to be uncomfortable. Take it or leave it.”
“I can take you to court.” Michelle snaps at me.
“You would lose in a heartbeat. You left the kids and never once came to see them or attempted to contact me until now. They are also old enough to pick who they want to be with. I spoke with a lawyer and a judge friend of mine when we last talked; so don’t try to use your husband’s influence to threaten me.” Michelle looks around, “Besides Jana’s therapist is the one who suggested doing it this way.”
“Dr. Causer dial extension 432. Dr. Causer dial extension 432.” Calls out over the loudspeakers.
“Her therapist?” Michelle asks and I nod. I hold a finger up to stop her from talking while I answer the page.
“This is Dr. Causer? Uh. Okay I’ll be right there.” I hang up the phone and head towards the emergency room. “Michelle,” she was following right behind me, “Jana has abandonment issues that she’s working through especially now that she knows you want to meet her. Do it their way for now. I need to go.”
“Go.” Michelle barks at me, “Work still comes first.” I sigh and turn around.
“No, my kids come first, then my parents and grandmother which is why I am needed. My dad is in the ER so why don’t you go back to Robin and continue to be bitter and hateful together.” With those words, I leave. I see my dad standing in the doorway of one of the ER cubicles watching for me.
“Sorry. I came home and she was laying on the floor moaning with bruises.” I look to see my mom in the hospital bed with bruises on her face.
“Mom, are you okay? What happened?” She mimes writing with a pen and paper. I grab a paper towel and hand her my pen. She scribbles that she tripped over the basketball and landing face first into the glass coffee table.
I send a text to Bennett and Jana telling them to meet me in my office. Dad and I stand outside the room while one of the residents takes care of my mom.
“I went to check on your grandmother and I ran out after I heard the crash. I called 911 right away.”
“Glad you were there. Why was mom home? I thought she was working at the school today.”
“She came home from work after her meeting with a stack of paperwork to work on. She met with Sarah again about the scholarship program.” I smile remembering when my mom came home two weeks ago with the news that Max and Sarah picked some students to use as interns and pay their tuition and then start a scholarship fund in her grandmother’s name. My phone starts to buzz in my pocket and I see Reagan’s name flashing.
“Hello.”
“Hey Jensen. I wanted to let you know Bennett is upstairs in my apartment. Jonathan told me that you two got into a fight and needed to cool down before going home.”
“I don't really need this right now.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sorry, my mom is here in the ER.”
“Is she okay? Do you want me to keep Bennett and Jana for the night so you can care for her?”
“I hate doing this to you. Reagan, you have been a life saver to me and the kids.”
“Jensen, we single parents need to stick together besides it helps me out with Jonathan so I can work or help Sarah since the baby will be coming soon. Jana loves it because of the pinks, purples and all things girly.” I laugh because I have seen firsthand what a profound influence Sarah and Reagan have on her. Jana’s therapist thinks these women are just what she needed right now.
“If you promise to let me take Jonathan for a few nights next week since it is spring break.” Reagan starts laughing.
“I see the kids didn’t talk to you. Max and Shawn are taking the boys on a camping trip and Jonathan wanted Bennett to go with him.”
“So, that is why Bennett flipped on me when I said no. My grandmother isn’t doing well and I want them to be making memories with her so I said not the whole week. He never mentioned the camping trip.”
“Oh I am so sorry about your grandmother. I remember her trying to set us up.” Reagan and I laugh at the disastrous date of being rained on for a candlelight dinner in the park. “I can talk to Bennett.”
“No, let him go; but I do need to talk to him, when are they leaving?”
“Sunday night.”
“Okay, I want them home tomorrow so I can talk to them, Max can pick him up on Sunday. He won’t have his cell with him so Max will be my connection to him.” I sigh into the phone. Reagan and I talk a few minutes before hanging up. My mom is getting released and I head to my office.
“Daddy!” Jana gets up from behind the desk to greet me and I see why she’s shaking in my arms.
“Robin what are you doing here?”
“She told me that I’m not going to live with you anymore.” Jana sobs into my arms.
“Leave now before I call security.” I walk Jana over to my desk chair and pick up the phone. I don’t even wait for Robin to respond as I see the effect she has on Jana. “Security. I have a woman in my office that needs to be removed.” Robin stands up and walks towards the door but stops to look at me.
“I just told her the truth.” Security grabs her by the elbow to lead her out. She struggles against him but he won’t let go. Jana goes into the whole conversation between her and Robin. I grab my cell phone out of my pocket to call Michelle.
“Hello?” Michelle’s laughing into the phone.
“Robin.” I snap into the phone.
“What about her?”
“She just told Jana that she’s going to be living with you because you have a rich and powerful husband. Robin gave me papers Michelle.”
“What?!” Michelle shrieks. I hear her rustling through something, “Damn it.”
“So, you really drew up these papers?”
“Yes, but it was before we talked. I told Robin that I was shredding them because I need to do it their way and not my way. I put them in a drawer in my office at the house. Is she okay?”
“She is shaking. Robin scared her. I’m taking a restraining order out on Robin for the kids and me. Don’t make me get one for you.”
“Jensen, I’m doing it your way. Let’s talk in a few days. I’ll deal with Robin but take that restraining order out on her. They need to be protected from her.
Jensen, I would like to go to Jana’s therapy session with her when she is ready.”
“I’ll talk with her but for now I need to take her home and reassure that she isn’t going to be taken away from the only parent she knows.”
“I’m sorry.” Michelle whispers and hangs up the phone.
“Come on princess, let’s go home.”
ME:
> Jana is staying with me.
REAGAN:
Okay
I spend the rest of the night taking care of my mom, grandmother and daughter. I let Jana pick the movie and of course it’s Frozen. Jana wants to be a voiceover actress so she watches all the Disney movies to learn how to make her voice different plus the torture of me humming ‘Let it go’ all night. I look to my left as the credits roll and I see Jana curled up in a ball on my bed. I kiss her good night and cover her up.
End of February
“I love this nursery!” Jana squeals as she sees the finished product. She walks around the room touching all the dark cherry wood changing table, dressers, and crib. “I wish I was a baby again. You could tell my dad to give me this.” Jana plays with the netting that covers the crib and fairy mobile that I had made for her. The walls are lavender with fairies drawn on them. The floor is dark hardwood floors with a big plush purple rug. The closet is full of clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets and everything else she could need for the first year of her life. My friends and family truly spoiled us. “Where is she going to sleep when you bring her home?” I motion for Jana to follow me through the bathroom that we opened so I can walk through it to check on the baby.
“This bassinet was mine when I was a little baby. My grandmother saved it for me and when my parents went to clean out the old house, they found it for me. We cleaned it up for her.” I smile at Jana who has become such a wonderful friend to me. I look forward to her text messages and hugs when she sees me.
“My dad saved a lot of our baby stuff too.” Jana says with a smile. I can smell a set up coming on because every time Jana and Bennett are around they tell me something amazing about their dad.
“Alright Jana, you need to get going and I need to get to the doctors for my appointment.” Jana grabs her bag to hurry the boys up. Reagan is taking them to school while Max takes me to the doctor. I can’t drive because my big belly prevents me from turning the steering wheel and I can’t move the seat back because I won’t reach the pedals.
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 11