by Dianna Love
Try? Brina would have liked a more encouraging word, but Lanna had found a possible way to reach out for help. Some options did not come with guarantees.
“No point in puttin’ this off,” Brina said, looking down at the mist rolling around their feet.
“Lie down and close your eyes,” Lanna instructed. “Relax and think of private place where you went with only this special person, then call out to him. Ask him to join you. That is best way I know to find right person’s dreams.”
“Understood,” Brina said with more confidence than she felt, considering she had no idea how to find Tzader’s dreams or how to prevent ending up stuck in dreamland.
Chapter 10
Tzader shook off the grogginess that threatened to drag him under and kept pacing around the hologram in Brina’s solarium.
“I can relieve you,” a male voice called out from the door.
The sound of that one’s voice sent Tzader’s blood pressure boiling over. He swung around to face Allyn, one of Brina’s guards who had taken advantage of his ability to be inside the castle when Tzader couldn’t.
Allyn was as fit as any other royal guard and pristine in his emerald green and black vest, white long sleeved shirt and black pants. Tzader could see where a woman would find Allyn’s face and physique attractive, but Brina wasn’t just any woman.
Tzader growled. “Stay out of here.”
Allyn stiffened. “I care about her, too.”
“You may care about the Belador queen as your leader,” Tzader enunciated, taking steps toward the door. “But you will not care about Brina in any other capacity. Understood?”
“Ordering me not to have feelings for her is illogical.”
“I don’t give a damn if it’s irrational. Don’t ever go near her again.”
Allyn should have tucked his tail and backed away quietly from a Belador Maistir, but he was either more confident than he should be or without basic survival instinct. He said, “Have you forgotten that Brina and I are engaged?”
Nope. Not a drop of survival instinct in those genes.
Tzader crossed his arms and took three more steps, placing himself in front of Allyn and barring the doorway. “I have no idea what was discussed when I was not present, but Brina and I have been committed to each other since we were young.”
A scoffing noise came out of Allyn. “Do you expect me to believe you’ve been celibate for the four years that you couldn’t walk through the ward on this castle?”
“I don’t care what you believe. I only care what Brina believes and she knows the truth. The minute she returns, I intend to straighten out this mess.”
Allyn finally showed some proper humility and said, “I see that I’ve been misinformed, Maistir. If it is as you say and she truly does not care for me then I have made a huge mistake with my words.”
You think, dickhead? Tzader had a feeling either he and Brina had been played by Macha or the goddess had confused Brina. For the last few weeks, his Brina had not been herself. She’d tried to convince Tzader that there was no future for them since Tzader was immortal, a gift he’d never asked for, and Brina was stuck inside a castle warded against immortals with the exception of her and Macha.
Macha had convinced him to do the honorable thing and let Brina move on. How could it be honorable to walk away from a bond forged with love? But on recent trips when he’d traveled by hologram to visit Brina, she’d been distant and made similar noises that echoed what Macha had said.
Sure, he’d heard about Brina’s engagement, but he’d had yet to witness any joy in Brina’s eyes over it.
When she returned, he was not leaving until he had the truth with her standing in front of him and staring into his eyes.
Allyn waited to be dismissed.
Tzader struggled not to shove the guard’s words back down his throat. Not an acceptable action from one in his position of authority.
But Allyn’s words had sounded sincere.
Could Brina really have moved on from what she had with Tzader? Exhaustion pulled at his thoughts, tangling them into a garbled mess of confusion.
“By your leave, Maistir.” Allyn dropped his head in a respectful bow, still waiting.
“Granted.”
Allyn vanished down the hallway.
Tzader paced the room back and forth twice until he crossed to a recessed sitting area that had been carved into the stone wall and covered with thick cushions. It was going on sixty hours since Brina had vanished. Once he’d delegated security here and in the mortal world, he’d spent the majority of that time sitting or standing in this room watching her hologram as if he could will her back.
When he sat, he sank into the thick cushions and glanced at the hologram for the millionth time.
Her crystal image floated above the floor, missing pieces from her knees down. More had disintegrated while he’d paced the room.
Where were Evalle and Storm?
Didn’t she realize how little time Brina had left? Was Evalle more concerned about finding Storm than helping Brina? And what if Storm had no way to track Brina once he got here?
Doesn’t anyone give a damn besides me?
Fisting his hand, Tzader drew back to strike the wall and stopped when Brina’s face appeared before him. He croaked, “Brina?”
One blink and the image was gone.
Now he was hallucinating from lack of sleep?
He looked at his fist and shook his head. What had gotten into him? First he’d raked poor Quinn over the coals when the guy was gutted, next he been ready to jump Allyn and now he wanted to ram his fist into the wall because Evalle wasn’t back yet.
Evalle had to be doing everything within her power to save Brina.
Tzader had never had a reason to doubt her.
He’d never had so short a fuse either.
He leaned his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. Exhaustion was eating at his emotions and his mind until he was walking around in a half-comatose state. He could do Brina no good if he lost touch with reality.
Rolling onto his back, he laid an arm across his eyes and let the memory of hiding in this very spot to steal a kiss from Brina bloom in his mind. Life had been so simple back then. They’d planned out their future, anticipating an entirely different one than they’d been handed.
A groan rolled off his lips. He was so damned tired. Staying awake hadn’t brought her back last night. Ripping into everyone who mattered to him sure as hell was not helping.
He had to shut down for a battle nap.
But how could he rest with Brina still gone?
Turning his head, he stared at the hologram.
Another section the size of a silver dollar vanished right before him.
His heart had never hurt like this. He’d thought losing her to another man would be impossible to survive.
He’d been wrong.
Losing her this way would destroy his world. He’d have first hand understanding of the way Quinn suffered. Next time Tzader saw Quinn, he owed his friend better than he’d given him so far.
As Tzader’s breathing calmed, the aggression that had been chewing at him backed off. Not entirely gone, but diminished.
With his eyes closed, he pictured his Brina running through the forest and swimming at their special place in the lake on Treoir. She was so pretty. Red hair flying behind her. Laughing.
She used to laugh all the time.
Four years of being locked in the castle had stolen her joy.
He loved to see her smile. Loved the way she kissed him. Just loved her period.
A soft voice whispered, “Miss me?”
Tzader jolted at the touch, and sat up straight, coming awake instantly. No one was in the room.
He could swear that had been her voice. The hologram showed no signs of life. In fact, a piece of her index finger blinked out.
Hurt threatened to crush his heart.
He was losing his mind. He dropped back onto the cushions, closed his
thoughts to everything except sleep. The sooner he got some shuteye, the sooner he’d be back on duty watching over her form.
Scattered thoughts tumbled through his mind for all of a minute, then he drifted into a dark vortex of boneless sleep.
“Where are you, Tzader?”
“Brina?”
Cool air swirled around his face and arms. “Come to me, Tzader.”
Where was she? “I can’t find you.”
“Remember our tree?”
That simple suggestion was all it took for sunshine to pierce the darkness and beckon him into the light. He strode forward through a field of wildflowers dancing in a gentle wind. When he reached the other side of the field, he entered the forest of trees a hundred feet tall and with trunks too large for him to reach around. Walking beneath the canopy of thick leaves and branches, his shoulders relaxed. He’d missed this place where he and his da had spent hours tracking game.
“Find our tree and you’ll find me,” whispered close to his ear.
Tzader paused, looking around. That’s why he’d come here. Brina was calling him. Not the eighteen-year-old Brina he’d once shown his favorite areas so many years ago. No, the one calling him now had a woman’s voice. She should be in the castle. Not out here where danger could find her.
Had the Noirre majik pulled him into its web of deceit?
If it did, Tzader hoped to be sent to Brina, even if it meant being trapped there forever.
He rushed to the tree that stood at the end of a spring-fed lake, as imposing as a centurion watching over their special private area. His blood burned in his veins as he ducked to search beneath sprawling limbs. Branches reached thirty feet from the tree, clothed in wide leaves that had once been a private shelter for their loving. The tips fanned the ground far from the trunk.
But no heart-stopping young woman waited for him.
Tzader felt the pain as sharply as a blade shoved into his chest, slashing his heart into pieces that would never match up again.
Where was Brina?
This was the spot where they’d pledged themselves to each other. A place and time carved into his memories. From that moment on, he’d never wanted another.
“Tzader?”
He shoved up and took a step back at the sound of her so close.
There she was, with her lush red hair spilling down around her, shoulders covered with a silvery-blue, hooded cloak. She looked more like the forest nymph he’d once called her instead of the Belador warrior queen.
Light spilled through tiny gaps in the trees, shifting and moving. Brina faded and came back.
This couldn’t be real.
Brina never left the castle.
Wait. Why did she never step out of Treoir Castle?
Something tugged at the back of his mind, trying to tell him this was important. There was a reason she stood out here in the woods alone.
He should ask, but his heart was pounding too loud in his ears for him to hear his own thoughts. His body took over all decision making. The need to touch her was the only thing that mattered.
Brina stared at him with eyes full of disbelief and murmured, “I’ve missed you, mo gradh.” My love.
She stayed solid this time.
Real or not, in that moment, his world narrowed down to holding this woman again.
Tzader closed the gap between them, reaching for her.
She lunged into his arms and kissed him with the same reckless abandon that had ended with clothes being shed the last time they were in this spot.
He was onboard with that idea.
His mouth hungered for hers. He kissed the lips that fed his soul and tasted like all his tomorrows. Her hands clutched at him, touching his face, neck and shoulders, begging more from him.
For the first time in too long, nothing would prevent him from meeting that request.
Holding her soothed the bone-deep pain of missing her.
She made a sound in her throat, sexy, hot and demanding.
That was his little warrior who never wanted half measure in anything. She reached down and ran her hand over his chest and lower until her fingers touched his hard length.
Memories of their last time together flooded him, lighting his skin on fire. She was all he’d ever want.
All any man could ask for.
And she was his.
Brina nipped his lip and licked, murmuring his name over and over. Her fingers gripped his shirt, wrenching it up until he stopped long enough to yank it over his head.
Her mouth was on his, her tongue playful at first then turning serious.
Grasping her hair, he gently tugged her head up and back. He kissed her soft cheeks then her neck, and on down until he had her draped over one arm. He took that moment to stare at her delicate skin, so pale against the dark brown muscles of his arm.
He gave her the words he’d told her that first time they made love. “Tá mo chroí istigh ionat.” My heart is in you.
Eyes as bright as a spring day and shining with love met his. She answered just as she had before. “Gráím thú.” I love you.
Then her eyes lit with challenge. “I’m missin’ all of ya, Tzader. Not just that sweet tongue of yours.”
He yanked the tie loose on her cloak and flipped it away.
The material stalled in the air, stretching out flat then floating to the ground as if ordered to become a blanket.
“Let your arms fall away,” he whispered.
Watching him from where she hung with her hair cascading to the mossy ground beneath the tree, she lifted her arms and let them fall slowly.
Her gossamer gown shimmered when she trembled.
He lifted the thin strap at her shoulder and slid the material slowly over the peaked tips of her nipples, taking his time to unveil the pert beauty.
Every muscle in her body was taut, waiting, anticipating.
He lowered his head and took her breast into his mouth, sucking.
She arched and let out a painful cry that picked up volume when he raked his teeth carefully over the hard bud. He moved to her left breast, biting the material and dragging it out of the way. Then he brushed the rough skin of his tongue across her nipple and used his free hand to tease her right one.
Her body strained and quivered under the erotic attack.
It felt like forever since he’d held this treasure.
While he tormented her breast, sucking and nipping, drawing sexy sounds out of her, he eased her dress up and massaged his way north to her wet heat. No panties.
Dear goddess.
One touch and she grabbed her head, calling out, begging him. “Please...”
He’d intended to take his time and turn a deaf ear to her demands to end this torture. But two strokes over the sensitive skin and she bowed, crying out. Power zinged around him, buzzing his skin. He smiled.
Brina had no control over her power when she climaxed.
She was half-dressed so he finished the job, leaving her filmy gown in a pile and lowering her to the cloak. “You are magnificent.”
He whispered words he’d held inside for too long. “I missed you. Missed us.”
“I refuse to wait ever again,” she vowed.
“Never. You are mine and no one will keep you from me.” He’d never survive another four years.
Four years? That couldn’t be right, could it?
He dug for how long they had been apart and drew a blank.
Brina’s chest rose and fell with deep breaths, lifting her sweet breasts each time. The nipples were soft again, looking ignored.
He could remedy that.
But first he wanted another kiss. It was as if he searched for water as a dying man thirsts in the desert and her mouth was a clear spring. Leaning over, he rained kisses from her forehead down her cheeks to her lips. Full, abused lips that he would take care with, but fully planned to abuse some more.
Her hand fluttered down to cup him and he hissed. “Careful, mo gradh. I want you so much you’ll end thi
s too soon.”
She smiled at him. One simple smile and his entire world came into focus. “If it ends too soon, we’ll just have to be startin’ over then won’t we?”
“That’s a promise.”
“If I can’t have you inside me soon, I may have to resort to majik to be gettin’ what I want,” she warned in her sweet Irish brogue.
Tzader sat back on his knees and unzipped his pants. He must not have been moving fast enough, because they flew away as if snatched by an invisible hand. He gave her a loaded look. “So it’s like that, huh?”
“Oh, aye. It’s time you finish what you started.”
“Demanding and beautiful.” He scooped her bottom and dragged her to him, lowering his head.
Now he’d get a true taste of her.
He made one slow brush of his tongue through her heat and she clamped her legs tight over his arms. He pointed the fingers on each hand toward her breasts and used his kinetics to play back and forth across the sullen nipples, teasing them back into action.
“Tzader, what are you ...”
Plunging his tongue inside her then stroking the tense flesh ended any conversation. At least he couldn’t understand anything intelligible coming out between her moans. When he had her at the very edge of oblivion, he lifted his head, drawing a sound of loss from her.
He said, “Look at me.”
She did and said, “Don’t make me wait any more.”
Stretching forward to cover her, he eased inside her and the look on her face was pure heaven. Chills ran up his chest at the first stroke. He clamped his teeth, determined to hold back.
When had control been so damned hard?
He’d given his pledge of love in the past, but they came out in a primal vow, yanked from within. “I love you, Brina. I always have, always will. Never doubt that.”
“I love you more and forever,” she proclaimed.
Her body lifted off the cloak, moving up and forward until she faced him and he sat back on his knees. She was using her kinetics to push herself down, driving him deeper on the next stroke. He shuddered against the surge of power he held back, waiting to give her more.
She put her hands on his shoulders and they flexed under her touch. “Don’t hold back. I want all of you.”