With every sound I heard, my toes curled in my boots a little more. Every sniffle. Every sigh. Every shuddered breath. I heard it all as Natasha got ready. I heard her clothes sliding from her body. I heard her murmuring to herself as she splashed on makeup. I heard the girls in the background with their dead voices trying to soothe her the best they could. All I heard was the fear in Natasha’s every move as the clock counted down.
Tick by tick.
My eyes scanned the crowd. I watched for any sign of the fucking Ivan character. Because he died tonight. Hands down. I licked my lips as I watched for a man returning to the stage. Because it sounded to me like that asshole wasn’t out here yet. There were too many moving pieces, though. Too many men getting up and sitting down. It was hard to keep track of all of them.
“Natasha?” I asked.
She sniffled. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
The guys fell silent as they listened to us.
“Why?”
“I made you a promise, and I let you down. I told you that you wouldn't have to take the stage, but I’m going to need you to.”
“I know,” she said weakly.
“I need you to point out Ivan to me.”
“You can’t find him?”
“Even with your description of what he looks like, I can’t see him. You don’t have to do much. Just look at him once you get on stage. Maybe turn yourself in his general direction. He’s going to want you to do that anyway. Once you give me a direction, I can fish him out.”
She sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “You have no reason to be, gorgeous. I promise you that. And Grave?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah?”
“If anyone touches her—or hurts her—in any way? It’s your fucking head that’ll roll.”
“I can accept that,” he said.
I didn’t want Natasha taking her goddamn clothes off in front of everyone. But we didn’t have a choice. I heard Saint talking me through things. How to calm myself. How to make myself blend in even though I was seething past my boiling point. Ryker hopped in and rambled off some shit. I wasn’t paying attention, though. The second the lights came down and the smoke started up, I heard a door open in my ear.
“Natasha, you’re on. Get on it.”
I’m gonna slaughter Phillip, too. Nice and steady.
My eyes darted around the room and I located the guys in there with me. Ryker across the room near the stage. Bear sitting at the bar. And Cage standing near the back exit. The rest of the guys were outside, surrounding the club and slowly casing it to try and figure out its layout. Its hidden rooms. Its secrets.
But the music caught my ear, and I focused on the stage.
“Toxin?” Natasha whispered.
“I’m right here. I’ve got eyes on the stage,” I murmured.
“I’m not taking off this lingerie. I won’t do it.”
I grinned. “Good. Then don’t.”
The clicking of heels pierced through the music and those long legs emerged. My eyes scanned up them as men began to whistle and whoop. A fur coat emerged. Natasha’s brooding eyes lit up through the haze of the fog. And as the guys started looking around the room—intentionally diverting their eyes—mine locked with her.
“I’m right here in the back. Don’t be afraid. No one will touch you tonight,” I murmured.
I watched her softly nod on stage before she dropped her coat. And the men beat on the stage like fucking alley cats. It made me grimace. I wanted to slit every single one of their throats. Natasha’s curves were bare for everyone to see. But they wouldn’t get any more than that. Her hips swayed and her hands slowly worked up her body. She played with the fake pearls around her neck as her ruby red lips stood out from the rest of her outfit. In any other scenario, she would’ve looked incredible. Drop dead fucking gorgeous.
But the fear in her eyes sort of ruined the mood.
You know, that and the men wanting her to take more off.
They tossed money at her. Some men beckoned to her with her finger. And me? Well, my murderous wants continued to rise. Natasha’s eyes slowly scanned the room, stopping once she finally found me.
“Hey there, gorgeous. You’re doing great,” I murmured.
And with another soft nod, her eyes continued around the room.
She danced in ways I didn’t think she could move. She swiveled around a pole and my jaw dropped open. She’d done this before. That much was obvious. Which made me sicker to my stomach. Her body wrapped itself around that metal pole and she climbed up. Swirling down in beautiful moves that took my breath away. She didn’t dance like any stripper. Like any woman taking her clothes off for money. Oh, no.
She danced like an angel in disguise.
Then, her eyes locked with a man in the crowd. One she turned her entire body to. My eyes whipped around to see who she was focusing on. And then? I found him. A man sitting near the stage in a matching fucking suit. A pearl-colored suit with pearl cufflinks and shining pearl-colored shoes. The fucker couldn't have been more obvious. He had a grin on his face I wanted to wipe off and his eyes scanned Natasha as if she were a piece of meat.
And when her eyes locked with his, she got down onto her knees.
“That’s him. You guys see it?” I murmured.
They all confirmed in my ear as she slowly crawled toward him.
“I’m going to kill him,” I growled.
“Stand down, Toxin. Wait until she’s off that stage and away from him,” Grave warned.
The man looked comfortable. Too comfortable for my liking. He spread his legs wide, accepting all of her attention as she handed it over. Guys still threw money at her. Trying to get her attention. But she didn’t pay them any mind. I heard her breathing tick up in her earpiece. She was getting nervous. Fearful. And I had to get her the fuck out of there.
“How much longer is this damn song,” I murmured.
And right on cue, the song began to dwindle.
Natasha slipped back up to her feet and raced for her fur coat. She left the money behind on stage. She didn’t even take a second look back at me before she ran off. My eyes whipped back over to the man in the pearl suit, who instantly got up out of his seat. I watched him point to a couple of the guards. He pointed to the stage before slipping away from his chair. And as he made his way back into the shadows, I got up from my seat.
“I’m following him,” I murmured.
“I got your back,” Ryker said.
The guys started shuffling around the room. They all started talking in my ear, but I blocked them out. That man was headed straight for Natasha, but he wouldn't get her. Not today. If I was lucky? He’d swallow some of the lead I had tucked against my ankle tonight.
“Got the back exit covered,” Cage said.
“Near the main entrance,” Bear said.
“Toxin, I’m behind you. About forty paces,” Ryker said.
I kept silent, though. I didn’t give a shit where they were. Because this man wasn’t leaving my grasp once I had it around his fucking neck.
I followed the clicking of his expensive shoes. Down a darkened hallway that barely had any light. Which I used to my advantage. I kept my breathing silent. I kept my footsteps steady. I matched his pace evenly, so if I did make a sound it would be covered up to the incessant clicking of his fucking shoes. I followed him down the corridor. Back into a part of the strip club that didn’t look as if it existed on the outside.
Then, he threw open a door.
I looked around, trying to clock cameras or security guards. There were none, though. I pressed myself against the wall as the door stood propped open. What the fuck was going on? Was Natasha in there.
“Let me go. Phillip! Stop!”
Her sounds came down the hallway and my heart leapt in my chest. I heard her heels stumbling around as a man practically growled at her side. I went to lunge at them, but someone wrapped their hand around my arm. I turned around and
saw Ryker shaking his head at me. My nostrils flared. My hands balled up into fists. Who the fuck was he to tell me no? That I couldn’t go after my woman?
Then, I finally heard Grave in my ear.
“Toxin, for the love of hell, can you hear me? Tap on your earpiece if you can.”
I did as he asked just as Phillip tossed Natasha into that fucking room.
“This has to be a stealthy mission. Ryker’s there as your backup, but we still haven’t located Lars or Diesel. Don’t let her get hurt, but don’t make a scene. Don’t give away your position. And don’t kill unless you have to. Tap your earpiece if you understand.”
I did as he asked, and Ryker signed silently.
“I had eyes on you until you entered a hallway. And I haven’t had eyes on you since. Be careful, and don’t do anything stupid. Got it?” Grave asked.
I tapped my earpiece yet again.
“Good,” he said.
I slowly turned back to the door. A door that was barely propped open. Ryker tugged me down the hallway and into a small alcove I had completely missed. Which told me I wasn’t paying attention like I thought I was. I let him guide me. I let him take the reins for a second. I needed to screw my head back on straight so I could keep protecting this woman. I heard Natasha sniffling. On the verge of tears. And I didn’t know what to do about it. She was my priority. So long as she was in my care, she’d always be my priority. But I also knew that if I was the reason Diesel was killed tonight, I’d never live it down.
I’d never forgive myself.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Nat.”
“Please, just stop this. I’m so tired,” she said softly.
“Tired of what, pet?”
“Natasha, stay calm. I’m only twenty feet from the door. And if you need anything, I’m there in a heartbeat. Okay?” I whispered.
And as silence fell across the hallway and my earpiece, I began to panic.
22
Natasha
I looked at Ivan as I rubbed my arm. Those sneering eyes and that crooked grin. Everything about him screamed at me to run. And it was true. I was tired. Tired of running. Tired of fighting. Tired of doing the bare minimum to save my life. Tired of people lying to me.
I was also tired of him.
You won’t scare me this time, Ivan.
“Are you going to answer me? Or keep me on bated breath?” Ivan asked.
I sighed. “You know why I’m tired. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of living alone. Living a lie.”
“Oh?”
I nodded slowly. “Yes. Oh.”
“Natasha, what are you doing?” Toxin whispered.
I licked my lips and let my eyes trail down Ivan. I straightened my back, exposing my body to him as I took a small step forward. His chuckle seized my gut. His eyes wafting down my body caused my heart to clench. But the second his eyes hit my hips, my hand went up to my ear. I scratched it, slowly moving the earpiece out. And as quickly as I could, I tucked it into the bottoms of my lingerie set. Feeling it pressing against my back. If I was going to do this successfully, I couldn't have him in my ear. For once, I had to trust Toxin’s words. I had to trust that he was close, and that he’d intervene if necessary.
Even though I still had to take that damn stage, I also had to trust that when he said I wouldn’t get hurt, that I wouldn’t actually get hurt.
But my life wasn’t the only one at stake, either.
Ivan took his sweet, precious time studying my body. He always had. Envisioning every nook and cranny he’d kiss and touch. Casing me like a piece of meat. Which gave me plenty of time to discard the earpiece without his knowledge. The idiot. He was never one to pay attention to me unless I was ready to spread my legs for him.
And as his eyes traveled back to mine, I saw them flash with heat.
With want.
With lust.
Gross.
“You look stronger than the last time I saw you,” Ivan said.
I grinned. “Would you believe I was working out for you?”
He snickered. “No.”
“Good. Because you really shouldn't believe everything you hear.”
“Is that your way of telling me your prior statement was a lie?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Then, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind, beautiful?”
I sighed. “I told you. I’m tired.”
“Would you like to talk about the reason why you’re tired?”
I forced tears to my eyes, then tried blinking them back. If there was ever a reason to perform, this was the time. I quickly rushed over to Ivan and threw my arms around him. I pressed myself against him, silently cringing at his touch on the small of my back. He patted my skin. His hug was empty. The way it always had been.
But pressing against him with my hips informed me of where his gun was.
In case I needed to reach for it.
“My, my. How eager we are to get back in my good graces. But you’ve been gone for a while now, Nat. If you think I don’t see through your ruse—”
“He took me,” I whispered.
Ivan froze. “What?”
I sniffled. “I tried to stop him, but I couldn't.”
He pulled me out, his hands firmly on my hips. “Which one? I need a name. No one touches my things.”
My lower lip quivered. “Toxin. I-I-I, I tried to get him off. But it just—there was this plan they were concocting, and Phillip told me to use my ways to get information out of them and—”
“He commanded you to do that?”
I paused. “Yes.”
Ivan released me and slipped his hand through my hair. I had pressed an unintentional button that opened a wonderful door for me. Ivan paced around. The anger in his face grew. The tension in the room thickened. And it took all I had to bury the smile wanting to spread across my face.
“That rat bastard! I told him to make sure no one touched you. No one even got near you,” Ivan hissed.
I shook my head. “That isn’t what he told me. He told me to use whatever it is I had at my disposal to stay in the good graces of the group. Whatever it took to get him and his boss information.”
“My fucking brother,” he growled.
I sniffled. “I’m sorry. I tried fighting him off. I swear to you, I did.”
He rushed me, his hands cupping my cheeks. “I know. I know you would have. I know you’re not that stupid, beautiful.”
His thumbs rushed over my skin, but inside I wanted to choke him until he gurgled on his own blood.
He pulled me into a hug, and I scanned the room behind him. There was a couch in the corner. It looked dingy from sitting in the dark, but another idea came to me.
“I don’t want him to be the most current man that touches me, Ivan,” I whispered.
He patted my back. “Don’t you worry. We’re rectifying that as soon as we get the hell out of here. And as soon as I find that fucking Phillip guy.”
“Please. I need you now. I’m so—I’m so happy to see you, I just—”
I slid my nose along his cheek. I slowly backed him to the couch. When his legs stopped moving, I pressed against his chest, easing him against the cushions. He grimaced at the feel of the couch. But one thing he never could resist was the swiveling of my hips. I snaked between his legs and pushed them open. I swirled my hips as his eyes met the movements. I rose my hands above my head, swallowing the bile creeping up the back of my throat.
And when he wrapped his arms around me, I braced myself.
He pulled me down against him on the couch, his pelvis grinding against me. I wanted to puke. But I also had him right where I wanted him. I wiggled around until I straddled him. My knees on either side of his body. His eyes were distracted by my tits. I felt blood flowing to his groin. He licked his lips, enjoying the show as I danced for him. Swayed for him. Jiggled my curves for his viewing pleasure.
“I need to kiss you. I need to know you’re still mine,” he murmur
ed.
He fisted my hair. He slowly eased my face closer to his. And just as his eyes closed, my hand moved in for the kill. I snaked my fingers behind the flap of his pearly white suit coat. I slipped his gun out of the holster. His eyes flew open as I brought the gun up, clocking him against his temple. His grip fell away from me and I stood up. I cocked the gun and grinned at the sight of the suppressor at the tip. I backed away. Slowly. Watching as Ivan groaned and held tightly onto the bleeding side of his head.
Then, a disgusting chuckle fell from his lips.
“I have to admit, that performance was Oscar-worthy, Nat. You have talent.”
“Where is he?” I asked.
He quirked an eyebrow. “Where’s who?”
“Diesel. You tell me right now or I’m going to shoot you.”
He snickered. “You don’t have the balls to shoot me, little girl.”
Just the answer I wanted.
I took aim for his crotch and pulled the trigger, listening to the soft noise that left the tip of the barrel. I watched as blood splattered. I listened as Ivan cried out in pain. In terror. In horror, as he held what he considered his “most prized possession.” Blood pooled onto the couch. The cushions were so disgusting that it didn’t even soak in. Just seeped onto the floor as the little bitch curled up onto the couch.
“I’m going to have you slaughtered for this,” he choked out.
And as he continued slinging insults, I pointed the gun at his head.
“Diesel. Where is he?” I asked.
Ivan shuddered. “Downstairs. Basement. With my brother, Lars. This was all his idea. I had nothing to do with it.”
I grinned. “Feel that fear, Ivan?”
He whimpered in response.
“That’s the fear I lived with for years underneath your thumb. The fear you ingrained into me as normal from the second you moved me into your home. The fear. The pain. The blood. The hurt. All of it, wrapped up into some botched version of reality you didn’t give me a choice but to believe.”
He coughed before he heaved, puking all over himself. All over that pearly white suit that matched my lingerie I had once vomited on.
What a beautiful picture of full-circle.
Toxin: Dead Souls MC: Prospects #5 Page 14