“Oh, it’s you!” I exclaimed.
“Hey, Georgie. Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said.
“Just out for a ride,” I replied. Damn, he looks good, I thought. He was wearing his usual tight jeans and boots, but just a black t-shirt, which showed off his biceps so well that I almost couldn’t look at him.
“Wanna join me for a bit?” he asked, gesturing to the empty spot on the swing next to him. “I got a few beers up here. Thought it was a nice day for a ride myself, and Buck agreed. We ended up here.”
“I come here all the time,” I said, hopping off Cherokee, and leading him over to the field where Buck was grazing. I joined Beau on the porch and as soon as I sat down, I realized my palms were sweating and my heart was racing.
Why was I having this reaction around Beau Haggard, of all people, all of a sudden?
He handed me a beer and I popped it open, taking a big gulp, and putting the can to my forehead.
“It’s so hot today,” I said.
“Yep.”
We sat silently, the silence growing more awkward with each second until we both began to speak at once.
“So did —,” he began
“Have you —,” I interrupted.
We both stopped and laughed, our eyes crashing into each other for the first time, as I somehow found the strength to look at him. Our laughter faded away and we were left again with awkward silence, only this time, neither of us could look away.
I swallowed hard, the waves of shyness, uncertainty, and lust washing over me all at once. Visions of tearing Beau’s clothes off flashed through my mind, and I was certain I blushed as I tried to blink away the delicious images.
What was wrong with me? Beau Haggard was just being nice. He could have any woman in town he wanted, he certainly wasn’t interested in me.
Of course that was it. He pitied me - it was something I had seen in every person’s eyes who looked my way since my parents died. That was why he was being nice to me.
“So,” he began again, “did the Chief say anything else about the fire?” His eyes were still peering into mine, and it took all my strength to form words.
“No, just that they’re going to start an investigation,” I murmured.
He nodded.
“That sucks that happened,” he said.
“Yeah. Luckily, there wasn’t anything valuable in there.” I tore my eyes away and took another drink of beer.
“I remember when you and Ruby used to sneak drinks of everyone’s beer, and look at you now,” he said. “Guzzling like a pro.”
“Guzzling?” I said, feigning shock. “I do not guzzle. I’m a lady. Ladies sip.”
He laughed, his laughter echoing through the trees deliciously. I looked over at him again.
I shuddered as his eyes trailed over my body, before he slowly nodded and looked into my eyes again. Shocks of pleasure tore through my brain.
“Yep, you’re a lady,” he said softly, a sly grin spreading across his face.
I blushed again, thankful for the sweltering heat that hid my embarrassment.
“You’ve definitely grown up, Georgia,” he said even softer, so softly I almost didn’t hear him.
“I guess so,” I replied. “We all did.”
“We sure did,” he nodded.
“I guess we had no choice, huh?” I asked.
“I think some people choose not to,” he said, and I knew he was thinking of Lee, but I didn’t say anything. Thoughts of Lee were the last thing I wanted. This feeling of just sitting with Beau was intoxicating, and I wanted nothing to ruin it, even if I knew it would never amount to anything else.
“I guess so,” I replied. “How’s practice going? You ready?” I asked, trying to change the subject away from Lee.
“I guess so. It’s hard, you know? Competing against your brother.”
“Well, you hold your own, Beau,” I replied.
“That’s not what I meant. I mean…” his voice trailed off and he looked away.
“Oh. You mean because they died?” I asked softly, suddenly understanding.
“Yeah, it feels wrong, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. But you know what? If you didn’t compete, then it would feel wrong to Crit. He wouldn’t want anyone giving him any advantages out of pity.”
“It’s not pity.”
“Well, isn’t it?”
“No, Georgie. It’s respect.”
“Respect. Right,” I replied, trying to wrap my head around it.
“Well, I know Crit real well, and I’d bet that the last thing he would want is for you to pull out on his account.”
“I know. I was just telling you how I feel,” he said, laying a hand on my knee.
“I see,” I replied, staring down at his hand. It was such a casual gesture, and yet my body was responding so strongly to it, that I almost couldn’t breathe.
“Georgie,” he whispered. I couldn’t look back at him. I felt his eyes on me, and I felt like if I looked at him one more time I would surely melt.
“Yeah?” I asked, without looking up at him. He wasn’t about to let me off the hook.
“Georgie.” His voice was more demanding now, which only served to shot even more shocks of pleasure right to my gut.
I gave in, raised my head, and when I met his eyes, I thought I would die at the look in them. Beau’s blue eyes were always soft and gentle, but this time there was something else there - desire. I couldn’t deny it, and why would I? Because I was terrified? That was a good enough reason, wasn’t it?
I didn’t know what to say. Or, how to respond. I sat silently, looking at him, and when he slowly began to inch towards me, I froze. When his lips met mine, they were soft, yielding, warm. His touch was heartbreakingly gentle and delicate.
And then it was over. As fast as it had begun.
He pulled away and I looked up at him again.
“I don’t know what’s happened, Georgia, but I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispered, his gentle eyes peering into mine questioningly.
“Oh,” was the only word that escaped from the hurricane of feelings that were storming inside of me.
“I reckon the last thing you need is another Haggard brother giving you grief,” he drawled, as my stomach dropped. “I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”
“You Haggard boys have trouble keeping secrets, don’t you?” I said, a grin spreading over my face. Was I flirting? Had he really just kissed me?
“I reckon we do,” he said, laughing as he sat back on the porch and took a drink of his beer. I was grateful for the respite from his intense energy and I looked around for the horses, who had wandered off to the back of the property and out of sight.
“We’d better get the horses,” I said.
“Sure, sure,” Beau said, standing up and downing his beer before walking down the porch steps.
I hesitated, enjoying the view his tight Wrangler’s provided. What was it about Wrangler’s that turned the sight of a man’s ass into an instant fantasy?
My hands flew to my lips as I followed him.
Did Beau Haggard really just kiss me?
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
“Finn, we gotta talk.”
“Aw, fuck,” my little brother replied. He was shoveling shit out of Moses’s stall when I walked up. He loved that horse more than almost anything. “This doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s not,” I replied, leaning against the wall of the barn. Finn threw the pitchfork on top of the pile of manure in the wheelbarrow and began wheeling it out of the barn. I followed him, second guessing myself the whole way.
Maybe I was wrong. Surely, I was wrong. Hell, I’d better be wrong, or Lee was going to be in some serious shit this time.
I was half-afraid that putting it into words would make it real, and so I had finally come to the conclusion that I would talk to Finn, and Finn alone. Nobody else knew Lee better than the two of us.
“Well, spit it out, don’t just
stand there like a mule with his tail caught in the door.”
“What?” I shook my head, grinning at my little brother. He was growing up into a good man, and I was real proud of him. He walked a pretty straight line, and was always the first to help our folks out when they needed it. And he was filling out too, I noticed. His biceps bulged under his shirt as he easily emptied the heavy load onto the pile.
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” I asked.
“There aren’t too many girls in this town, Beau,” he replied.
“Are you kidding? There’s lots of them.”
“Let me put it another way, Beau. There’s not too many girls in this town that you or Lee haven’t already torn through.”
“Oh. Right.” He had a good point.
“Yeah,” he replied warily. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”
“Alright, yeah,” I continued. “It’s about Lee.”
“Of course it is. It’s always about Lee. Everything’s about Lee.”
“Listen, I’m gonna tell you somethin’, and you gotta promise to keep your mouth shut. Can you do that?”
“Of course I can!”
“Finn…” I warned. “It’s serious. You gotta promise.”
“Yeah, yeah, what the fuck man?”
“Alright. I think Lee may have set that shed on fire.”
“The Hope’s shed? Why the hell would he have done that?” he asked, his voice rising.
“I don’t know. Revenge? Ignorance? He’s a fuckin’ hell-raisin’ hillbilly that doesn’t know right from wrong? Why does Lee do anything?”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why do you think it was him? He’s never done anything like that before.”
“No, maybe not, but have you seen him lately?”
“Not in a while, no. But that don’t mean nothin’, Beau,” he argued. “I ain’t seen old man LaCroix in a while, neither, but that don’t mean he started that fire, either.”
“Finn, last time I saw Lee, he threatened to set the whole town on fire. He was pissed, because I told him what Georgie said.”
“Fuck Lee. He’s all talk. I really doubt he set that shed on fire, and besides, he’s long gone, Beau. And don’t you think he’s in enough trouble already? You go around spreadin’ tale that he did it, and it’s not gonna end well for Lee. Or anyone, for that matter. Not to mention Mom and Dad.”
“I know that, Finn. That’s why I’m only talking to you! You think I’m out blabbing my mouth to everyone?”
“I don’t know but you seem to be getting real friendly with Georgie lately.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I growled.
“Nothing. Just sayin’,” he shrugged.
I opened my mouth to say something else, but snapped it shut quickly. I didn’t know what to say about Georgie. Was I getting friendly with her? Hell, I guess I was.
I’d done nothing but conjure up the memory of the feel of her lips on mine since I’d seen her yesterday. I don’t know where the impulse to kiss her had come from, or opening my stupid mouth and telling her I was thinking about her, either. Somehow, just being around her lately seemed to turn me into the hungry, lustful, horny teenager of my youth with no control over his actions or words.
I had run around with every girl I could when I was in high school, before I met Marisa that was, but that was then, and this is now. I was a whole different person now. Without the drugs, drinkin’ and partyin’, my sexual conquests had become less and less frequent.
But Georgia Hope? Well, she was awakening a monster, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep him caged.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Every time I stepped into our kitchen, I felt my mother’s presence. It was her favorite room in our house, and she was constantly flitting around, cooking, baking or cleaning. It was hard to accept that she was gone.
I looked up at the clock above the dining room table as I set the table for dinner, wishing I could reach up and turn it back and have them both alive again. I sighed, for the millionth time since they died, as I tried in vain to release the turmoil churning inside of me. I had never known pain like this.
I had been cooking for hours, making our family’s favorite dish. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans and rolls. All made from scratch, exactly as Mom had taught me when I was ten.
I finished right on time, with five minutes to spare. I walked out onto our deck as I waited for the boys to come to the table. Crit was working in the barn, Seth and Jesse were upstairs in their rooms. My gaze wandered over to the Haggard’s place, and then to Beau’s little cabin out back, and I bit my lip as I thought about Beau’s kiss.
It had been so light, so gentle, that if I had my eyes closed, I would have wondered if it actually happened. It was sweet and gentlemanly, just like him.
But I wanted more.
I wanted something else.
I wanted passion. I wanted to find someone to lose myself in, to escape into bliss with. I had listened to Ruby describe her sexual escapades so many times, and I hated that I had never felt anything like she described.
The few guys I had been with had been awkward and uncomfortable and hadn’t really spent any time worrying about me or my pleasure. It had always been more of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of experience.
I felt guilty thinking about how much I missed my parents and Beau’s kiss all in the same moment, but I had to admit that thinking about Beau was a great distraction from the miserable reality I was enduring right now.
It felt good to think about something nice.
I walked back into the kitchen just as Crit walked in the back door.
“It smells amazing in here, sis! I’m starved, thanks for cooking,” he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. The house began rattling as Seth ran down the stairs.
“Is that fresh bread I smell?” he asked, his booming voice echoing off the walls as he entered the kitchen. Seth never entered a room quietly, and I smiled at how predictable he was. There was something comforting in that.
“I made rolls,” I replied.
“Damn, this looks good! Let’s eat!” Crit said, as he sat down at the table.
“Where’s Jesse?” I asked.
“Jesse!” Seth called so loudly that I winced in pain.
“Seth, a little lower, eh?” Crit said. “The Haggards probably heard that.”
I felt my nipples stiffen as Beau’s face flashed in my head. Resisting him was not going to be easy.
“I’ll go get him,” I said, after no reply from upstairs. I walked up the stairs and knocked on Jesse’s bedroom door. “Jesse? Dinner’s ready.”
I waited a moment but was greeted by nothing but silence. I tried again, knocking and calling. Nothing.
I tried the door knob, turning it slowly and peeking in.
“Jesse?” I called. His room was dark and empty. And incredibly messy. Clothes were thrown everywhere, there were dirty dishes on the floor, and the smell made me wrinkle my nose.
“What the hell?” I murmured to the empty room, before closing the door and walking back downstairs.
“He’s not here,” I said to Seth and Crit. “He was here a little while ago and I didn’t see him leave.”
Seth stood up and looked out the living room window into the driveway.
“His truck is gone,” he replied. “I didn’t hear or see him leave either.”
“Crit did you tell him we were having dinner?” I asked.
“Yep. He said he’d be here,” he nodded.
I picked up my cell phone and dialed Jesse’s number. It rang three times and went to his voice mail.
“Hey Jesse, call us. We’re having dinner.” I hung up the phone and sat down at the table.
“Well, that’s disappointing. I guess it’s just us,” I said to Seth and Crit. We all paused and looked at each other, our parent’s empty chairs at the ends of the table screaming at us, a very loud reminder of what we had lost.
“We’re
enough,” Crit said, grinning. “More for us to eat!”
I nodded and smiled, pushing away the pain for just a little while so I could try to enjoy the dinner I had prepared.
“Dig in, boys,” I said. “I made peach pie, too.”
***
Later that night, Ruby and I sat on the front porch, sharing a bottle of wine and staring up at the stars.
“So, you going to tell me what the hell is going on now or what?” she asked, her always present bluntness making me smile.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, for starters, you can tell me what happened with Lee. Then, you can tell me why you have that shit-eating grin on your face. I suspect it’s related to why you can’t stop looking over at the Haggard’s place.”
“Well, aren’t you the observant one?” I giggled, drinking another sip of wine.
“Give it up,” she said, feigning mock sternness.
“Alright, alright. The Lee thing sucks. He tried to kiss me…and some other stuff…the night of the party.”
“Other stuff?”
“He was drunk. He was being really rough. He wasn’t taking no as an answer.”
“That snake!” Ruby replied, her green eyes flashing with anger. “What did you do?” “Well, at first I kissed him back, but then, he just turned creepy, and when he wouldn’t stop, well…I just kicked him in the nuts. Hard.”
“Oh!” she said, “that’s excellent!”
“It sucked. I hated hurting him.”
“Sounds like he deserved it. What else could you do but defend yourself, George?”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said.
“So what else? I know there’s more.”
“Well, I didn’t tell anyone. Until I told Finn, and then he told Beau, and then I had to tell Crit before he heard it from someone else. Beau confronted Lee, and I guess Lee left town. At least that’s what Beau said.”
Hope Against Hope: The Hope Brothers Series Page 7