by S. M. Butler
His heart clenched at the devastation in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“After that, I was too scared to drive. I was terrified of getting in another accident and hurting whoever was in the car with me. I tried to drive alone a couple times, but that didn’t work either. I was afraid I’d hit another car and hurt that person.” Jill gazed at him in misery. “I know I should try it again. I mean, public transit really sucks sometimes, and I spend way too much money on cabs. But now it’s a major phobia. I’m terrified of getting behind the wheel.”
“Trust me, I get it. I’ve known a lot of men and women, strong men and women, who suffer from PTSD. It’s hard to overcome a trauma like that.”
“I saw a shrink for it for a few years, but he kept encouraging me to face my fear. I wasn’t ready, so I stopped seeing him.”
“When you’re ready, you’ll know,” Shane said gently. “It’s not something you should push, or force yourself to do.”
Jill leaned in abruptly and brushed her mouth over his, and he felt her lips curve in a tiny smile. “You’re being very sweet,” she murmured.
“I can be. Sometimes.”
Her lips traveled along the line of his jaw, sending a shiver up his spine. In the blink of an eye, the mood went from sad and reflective to hot and lustful, and he was helpless to stop the arousal that roared to life inside him.
“And I’m going to be even sweeter now,” he said gruffly.
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah.” He cocked a brow. “You did such a fantastic job with this place, and I think you deserve an orgasm as a reward.”
“Hmmm. Is that what you give your teammates for every job well done?”
“Yep. We jerk each other off after every successful op.”
Jill’s answering laughter got his dick hard. It was a common response to that sweet, melodic sound, and one he’d come to expect. Groaning, he snaked one hand beneath her dress and cupped her mound. Her pussy was hot, her panties damp, and the second he made contact with her clit, a throaty noise escaped her lips.
“I love it when you touch me,” she whispered.
“I love touching you,” he whispered back.
He captured the crotch of her panties between his thumb and forefinger, then tightened the fabric so it pressed against her clit.
The way she shuddered told him she liked it, so he did it again, teasing her with the strip of material before finally pushing it aside. She was wet. Always was, even before he touched her, and he fought the urge to drop to his knees and lick her glistening pink folds. But he was enjoying having her on his lap, the way her round bottom rubbed against his cock, so he stayed put, teasing her with his fingers instead.
The expression on her face fascinated him. Her eyes darkened to a smoky forest green each time his fingers slid down to her opening, but shone like sparkling emeralds when he flicked his index finger over her clit. The combination of light and dark was breathtaking. So was her bare pussy. She’d admitted to monthly salon visits, and he had to say, he loved the feel of her smooth flesh beneath his fingers.
He kept his gaze on her as he toyed with her pussy. Every time she gasped, his arousal was heightened, and when he began fingering her in earnest, she made a low, satisfied noise that nearly triggered his own orgasm. But he focused on her pleasure, pressing the heel of his hand into her clit as he pumped into her tight channel, until another moan flew out of her mouth and she came apart on his lap.
Her lower body rocked into his hand, and he’d never seen a more beautiful sight as she shook from release. After several seconds, she finally went still, her breathing labored as her chin dropped onto his shoulder.
“God, you are way too good at that. You make me come so fast.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Good. Definitely good.” She nibbled at his neck, her lips hot and eager. “Do you have a condom?”
Nodding, Shane shifted so he could access his pocket, then pulled out the square package, which Jill immediately swiped from his hand.
“I want you in me,” she announced. “Now.”
Shane’s head lolled to the side as she undid his pants and pulled out his erection. She gave it a few lazy strokes before rolling the condom on, and then she adjusted her knees so they were on either side of him and lowered herself on his cock.
“Fuck.” His vision blurred as her pussy clamped around him. He would never get used to that unbelievable sensation. Every time he was inside this woman, it felt like the first damn time.
But it wasn’t. It occurred to him it had been a month since her move to Norfolk. One night had become two. Days had become weeks.
He suddenly got the scariest feeling that it could go on forever if he didn’t do something to stop it.
He couldn’t stop it now, though. Not when his cock was surrounded by her hot sheath, when her hands were tickling the nape of his neck and her hungry lips were meeting his for a blistering kiss.
“I love fucking you,” she moaned.
God, definitely no stopping it now. As Jill picked up the pace, Shane closed his eyes and let her ride him straight to heaven.
Chapter Eight
‡
“I can’t.” Jill turned to Shane in horror as her throat closed up. Oh God. Not a single burst of air was reaching her lungs. She might actually suffocate.
A large, male hand covered her upper arm, warm with reassurance. “Okay,” Shane said immediately. “Let’s switch then. No pressure.”
A rush of oxygen found its way in, inflating her chest so fast she felt lightheaded. “That’s your big pep talk?” she demanded, gaping at the man next to her. “You’re supposed to be helping me get past my fear!”
“I’m not going to force you to do something that scares you,” he said firmly. “You need to do this for yourself, sweetheart. Not for me, not for anyone. Just you.”
Ugh. She hated him and his stupid logic. After spending nearly two months with the man, she’d discovered that Shane Heron was the most infuriatingly logical person on the planet.
But his logic and her panic weren’t meshing too well at the moment. She was in the driver’s seat of Shane’s SUV, and although the engine was off, her fingers still trembled wildly on the steering wheel. She and Shane had been sitting in his driveway for more than thirty minutes, but the man was completely unfazed by the delay. He was the epitome of cool and collected in the passenger seat as she sat beside him freaking out.
She had yet to put the car in drive. Not once during the ten or so times they’d done this. Over the past month, Shane had displayed nothing but infinite patience with her. Each time she chickened out, he accepted it. No arguments, no judgment. Nothing but endless support and gruff reassurances that she’d be ready for it “next time”.
But Jill wanted to be ready this time, damn it. She’d kept her California driver’s license up to date even though she hadn’t owned a car, and last week she’d applied for a new license from the Virginia DMV. She couldn’t get by without a car anymore, not unless she wanted to continue suffering the daily two-hour commute. It took her an hour to get to the restaurant by bus because she had to transfer twice, and she couldn’t afford to take taxis every day. If she had a car, she’d be able to cut her travel time in half, and that was damn tempting.
But that also meant she needed to drive the damned car.
She stared out the windshield, gathering up courage. It was November, and the temperature was far cooler here than in California, but there was no snow yet, just rain and clouds and the occasional hailstorm. It was cloudy again today, but the roads were clear.
Making it the perfect night to drive a damned car.
She glanced over at Shane, who looked perfectly at ease in camo pants and a long-sleeve shirt that hugged his massive chest. “You’re not scared I’m going to kill you?” she said in a small voice.
“Nope.” He smiled. “You’re not a seventeen-year-old speed demon anymore, sweetheart. I trust you to be cautious and al
ert.”
That made one of them. Because she was terrified.
“We’re not doing anything crazy tonight, remember?” His voice rang with confidence. “All you’ve gotta do is pull out of the driveway, turn right, and take us down the street. Then we’ll turn around and come right back. It’ll take two minutes, if that.”
She inhaled slowly. It sounded so easy when he put it that way. And he’d even positioned the SUV so it was facing the street, which meant she wouldn’t have to reverse out of the driveway. God. He really was amazing.
“Okay.” Jill let out the breath she’d been holding. “Okay, I can do this.”
“That’s my girl.” He nodded briskly. “Foot on the brake, put the car in drive.”
Both her hand and foot shook wildly as she followed his instructions.
“Good, now ease your foot off the brake. Don’t press the gas yet. Just let the car move forward on its own. Nice and slow.”
Jill released the brakes, and her heart thudded when the SUV rolled slightly. Holy shit. She was actually doing this.
At the end of the driveway, she hit the brakes again, signaled right, and shifted her head left to right to check for traffic. Left to right. Left to right. Left—
“It’s clear,” Shane said dryly. “You can go now.”
Jill gave a weak nod, then executed the slowest right turn on the planet. Her pulse raced the moment she found herself on the street, then raced faster when she caught sight of the speed limit sign. Twenty-five miles an hour? Were the people in Norfolk insane? That was way too fast.
“You’ve got this,” Shane told her. “You’re doing great, baby.”
He radiated strength and confidence, and she fed off it, clung to it, let it fuel her. She stepped on the gas and got up to the speed limit, keeping her hands in a ten-two position and her attention on the road.
“There’s a stop sign up ahead. Let’s do a nice, easy stop.”
Jill was aware that she slowed down way too far in advance, but Shane didn’t comment on it. Nor did he make her feel like she was incompetent, or a chicken-shit. He just sat there, exuding nothing but pure calm.
She couldn’t look at him, though. She was too busy concentrating on the street, moving her head only to check her mirrors. Holy hell. She was doing it. She was driving.
Her heart continued to pound but at a manageable rate now, and when she reached the end of the street and stopped at a four-way intersection, her chest was considerably lighter.
“Do you think you can manage a left turn?” Shane said in a gentle voice. “It’ll get us home faster.”
“I can do it.” Steely determination rose inside her. Her confidence continued to grow, but not to the point of cockiness. And she didn’t feel like throwing up anymore, which was a promising sign.
After making a successful left turn, Jill let out a happy whoop, eliciting a quiet chuckle from Shane. “Good job,” he told her.
She drove down the next residential street. Took another left. A few more seconds of driving, one more left turn, and then they were back in Shane’s driveway.
Without a word, Jill put the car in park and killed the engine. “Oh my God,” she blurted out. “I did it.”
“You did it,” he echoed.
The pride shining in his eyes was enough to bring tears to hers. As a tornado of joy spiraled through her, she dove out of the car and dashed around to the passenger side to throw open Shane’s door. The second his boots connected with the pavement, she launched herself into his arms, her heart so full she thought it would overflow.
He lifted her right off the ground, spinning her around for a moment before setting her back on her feet. Jill buried her face against his chest, floored by his patience, his support. Him.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
His hands tangled in her hair, stroking softly. “You’re welcome, but I didn’t do anything. It was all you, baby. This was a big step.”
A colossal step, more like it. She’d actually driven around the block. In a car. With a passenger.
And she knew without a shred of doubt that she couldn’t have done it without him.
“You did do something.” Tears of gratitude clung to her lashes as she peered up at him, but she suspected Shane wouldn’t care if they spilled over. The man was a rock. She didn’t think anything could shake him up, not even a woman’s blubbering. “You were there for moral support and I needed that.”
She leaned on her tiptoes and kissed him, and in a heartbeat, the gentle kiss turned into a hot, tongue-tangling make-out session in the middle of his driveway. As the need to feel his bare skin against hers overtook her, Jill breathlessly broke the kiss and dragged him to the house, ignoring his husky laughter.
“Seriously?” he said in disbelief. “Facing your fear turned you on?”
“I know, right? It’s crazy.” She shoved him into the front hall, already pulling his belt free from its buckle. “But I need you. Right now.”
He was still chuckling as he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
The first time she’d been in his room, she’d been confused by how small it was. A master bedroom should have been bigger, but when she’d questioned it, Shane had revealed that he’d turned the master into his office after his wife died. Jill hadn’t said it out loud, but she appreciated that. It would have felt weird having sex on another woman’s bed, surrounded by another woman’s stuff.
Though if Alana Heron had ever possessed any stuff, Jill had yet to see it. There were no photographs in the house, no knickknacks, no feminine touches, and that was something Jill didn’t appreciate.
She wasn’t sure why it mattered so much to her, though. They were sleeping together, yes. Spending time together. But Shane had made no mention of the future in the two months that had passed.
And he was leaving in a month. Jill definitely hadn’t forgotten about that, and she couldn’t deny that her heart ached whenever she thought about him leaving.
She pushed the troubling thoughts from her mind as Shane kicked open the door and deposited her on his bed. Before her back even connected with the mattress, there was a big, hard man on top of her, his warm hands and greedy lips taking possession of her body as if he owned it.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he breathed, quickly stripping off her clothes.
His lips immediately closed over her nipple, and heat flooded her core. She was addicted to this man. When he touched her, her entire world dissolved. Nothing mattered but him, her, the frantic joining of their bodies and the pleasure they gave each other.
There was no foreplay. She didn’t need it. She was wet and hungry for him, and when he put on a condom and filled her with his cock, a sense of pure joy shot through her body. His chest was heavy against her, his heartbeat hammering against her breasts, proof of his excitement, his urgent need.
“I’m crushing you,” he murmured.
“Nuh-uh.” She tightened her grip on his neck and hooked her legs around his hips, trapping him in place. “I like it.”
Shane moved inside her, slow, sweet, and thorough. “You gonna come for me, baby?”
“Mmm-hmmm. Keep going slow like that.”
He eased his cock out, one inch at a time, then slid back in with a lazy glide. His gaze stayed fixed on hers as his hips plunged and retreated, and she got lost in his rugged features, which were taut with desire. He was so incredibly sexy. So focused on her pleasure that tears stung her eyes again.
When the orgasm hit, it wasn’t an explosion but a series of tiny charges that ignited her body and crackled along her skin. She pressed her cheek against his left pec and climaxed to the sound of his erratic heartbeat, each fast thump vibrating in time to her own pulse.
Shane came a moment later, his cock lodged inside her as his massive body shuddered. She clung to him, stroking the smooth, hot sinew of his back, smiling when he groaned loudly and went limp on top of her.
“Hell,” he mumbled. “I can’t even remembe
r my own name when I’m inside you.”
He rolled over and pulled her against him, and she lay there in his arms, sheltered and sated and happier than she’d been in a long time.
“Do you want to stay over?” he asked gruffly.
She quickly hid her surprise. This was the first time he’d asked her to spend the night at his place.
“Sure,” she answered, doing her best not to sound too eager. “If you don’t mind.”
There was a beat. “I don’t mind. Are you hungry? I’m sure we can scrounge up something for dinner.”
Holy shit. He’d invited her to stay over, and now he wanted to cook dinner together? Her brain could barely make sense of it, but she sure as heck wasn’t complaining.
Jill hopped off the bed and picked up the T-shirt Shane had discarded. When she put it on, the fabric hung all the way to her knees, making her feel tiny and delicate for the first time in her life. She was tall, but Shane was taller. Deliciously taller. And deliciously bare-chested, now that she’d stolen his shirt. As he yanked on his camo pants and zipped them up, Jill ran her fingers along the hard ridges of his six-pack, and he hissed out a breath.
“Keep touching me like that and we’ll never make it to the kitchen.”
She lowered her hands to his tight butt and gave it a hearty squeeze. “You need to work on your willpower, Senior Chief.”
“There’s no such thing as willpower when you’re around.”
He dropped a kiss on her lips, then tugged her out of the bedroom before she had a chance to test that theory.
A few minutes later, they bustled around his kitchen in comfortable silence. Shane found some chicken breasts and went outside to grill them on the barbecue, while Jill prepared a salad to go with it. She wasn’t much of a cook, but salads were easy, and she hummed happily as she sliced up ingredients to toss into the huge bowl.
She was in the process of dicing tomatoes when she sensed Shane watching her. She lifted her head and spotted him at the back door, the oddest expression on his handsome face.