by S. M. Butler
“When you landed?”
“When I made it to the top!”
It took a second for comprehension to dawn on her face and when it did her pain was so obvious Ben wanted to erase his last words. She stiffened, then quickly got to her feet. “Just say so if you don’t want to go with me.” She turned and fled, leaving Ben filled with self-loathing. Hadn’t he said exactly the same thing when he thought she didn’t want him? Well, he wanted her—so much he was willing to let her go.
Caitlyn didn’t need a broken man like him.
But as he laid his head back and stared up at the sky through the dappled leaves above him, Ben wondered if he could survive without her.
“You look stunning,” Mia said a half hour later when Caitlyn had changed and put on her makeup. Pink still tinged her cheeks from the exertion of doing the obstacle course, and her eyes shone with unshed tears, but that didn’t detract from the overall effect. Mia was right, she looked prettier than she had in months. Too bad she felt like she’d been hit by a Mack truck.
“Thanks.” She turned away from the mirror and went to fetch her jacket and purse.
“What happened out there?” Mia blocked her way to the door.
“Nothing.” Mia had asked the question at least five times already, but she refused to answer it. She didn’t think she could keep her composure if she did and she had a whole night ahead of her to get through.
“Tell me. Something happened.” Mia crossed her arms. “We’re not leaving until you spill it.”
Caitlyn finally gave in when she realized Mia wasn’t joking. “I met up with Ben.”
“What did he say to you?”
“He’s not interested in me, okay? Now can we go?”
“He was definitely interested in the park yesterday. I was about to tell you two to get a room. What changed?”
With a sigh, Caitlyn realized it would be quicker to satisfy Mia’s curiosity than try to get past her. She did so in as few words as possible, starting with her inability to scale the climbing wall and ending with Ben’s fall and angry words.
“So he helped you all through the course, but when he screwed up he sent you packing?”
“That’s right.”
“Honey, that has nothing to do with you; that’s all about his pride!”
A ray of hope pierced through her, but Caitlyn refused to let it touch her heart. “It’s about reality. A guy like him doesn’t want to be saddled with a single mom.”
“A guy like him wants it so bad he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He was trying to impress you, Caitlyn—and he fell, instead. He’s embarrassed!”
She thought it over. Maybe Mia was right. Up until his fall, Ben had focused on her like there was no one else in the world, and he’d been so proud when he reached the top of the ladder. He was the one who’d made the bet about the dance in the first place, after all. “You know what? I think you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. Men are bastards when they’re embarrassed. Give him a little time to settle down. It won’t take long—one look at you in this dress and he’ll get over it pretty quick.” Mia took Caitlyn’s arm and led her to the door. “Come on, Cinderella; let’s get you to the ball.”
Chapter Seven
‡
“You’re like a wolverine with its foot in a trap. What’s wrong with you?” Dan said the second time Ben bumped into something and swore. He’d dragged himself inside from the course, took a quick shower and changed, but the pain from his fall had left him pale and haggard. Dan’s description of his mood was all too accurate. He’d seen Caitlyn’s face when he’d crashed to the ground and the mixture of horror and sympathy there told him all he needed to know. She didn’t see him as a man; she saw him as an invalid, and that was the last thing a single mother needed—a man to take care of along with her baby.
“I overdid it a little, that’s all.” He braced himself for more sympathy.
“Serves you right, the way you were showing off out there.”
Ben glared at him. “What do you mean?”
“I went out to the course to tell you it was time to get ready for the dance. I saw you flexing your muscles and helping Caitlyn do the obstacles.”
“You watched us?”
“Hell, no. I turned right around and walked back to the Hall. Why, did you two have some fun?”
Judging by Dan’s smile, Ben figured he hadn’t seen him crash and burn at the salmon ladder. Thank God. “No,” he said shortly. “We decided we weren’t right for each other.”
Dan’s disbelief was clear. “You looked right for each other when I saw you. What happened?”
“Can’t you just drop it?” Ben tried to edge around him, but Dan blocked his way.
“No, I can’t. Because my gut’s telling me this is more of your poor me bullshit.”
“You don’t know anything about it.” Ben shoved him aside, but Dan blocked him again.
“I limp a little, therefore I am no longer any good to women,” Dan mimicked in a high-pitched voice.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“My ankle’s sore which means my dick no longer works—”
“Fuck off, Hemmins!” But despite himself he was fighting back a smile.
“I can’t hop on my right foot! What the hell will I do with my life?”
“All right, all right; I get it. I’m being ridiculous.” He stopped trying to get away. “But it’s true—I can’t do the things I used to do and it sucks!”
Dan sobered. “It does suck,” he said in a normal voice, “and I’m sorry as hell it happened to you, but you can’t give up on life—or on Caitlyn. It was clear as day to me she was into you out there.”
“Really?” Ben forced himself to think over his encounter with Caitlyn on the course. She had seemed to be having a good time—up until the end.
“Really. So what happened, did you have a fight?”
Ben wished that was the case. “I was a first class asshole.”
“Then you’d better go put things right.”
“Yeah, I guess I’d better.”
Caitlyn wasn’t sure how she’d ended up sitting next to Ben in Dan’s truck on the way to the dance. One minute she’d been chatting with Mia and the next Ben had ushered her into a seat, then climbed in beside her. He didn’t speak to her on the trip into town but she was all too aware of his muscular body pressed against her. Sarah sat up front with Dan, and Mia and her husband, Luke, crowded into the back seat with Caitlyn and Ben. When the truck went over a bump, Caitlyn nearly landed in Ben’s lap.
He took her hand and her breath hitched. She waited for him to drop it again, but he held on, his large fingers nearly enveloping hers. They were warm and gentle—somehow comforting. She didn’t know what his touch meant, but she knew she liked it.
When he leaned close and brushed a kiss against her hair, Caitlyn closed her eyes and wondered if he’d really done that or if she was dreaming. Her fingers tightened involuntarily and he squeezed her hand in reply. With her heart beating double-time in her chest, Caitlyn could barely breathe the rest of the way into town. Had Mia been right—had Ben’s outburst on the course been caused by his embarrassment over his fall?
If so, she’d be glad to put the incident behind them and move forward. She wanted to get to know Ben, but only if he understood she’d never see him as less of a man because he’d been injured. On the contrary, knowing he’d been hurt while serving his country made him more of a man in her eyes.
When they pulled up in front of the community center where the dance was taking place, Ben helped her out of the truck as if she was precious to him. Caitlyn couldn’t remember the last time a man had shown her such gentle care and she felt like she was floating rather than walking inside to the ticket counter and coat check.
As their friends grouped around the ticket booth, laughing and joking with the young woman running it, Ben tugged her aside. “You’re a sight for sore eyes tonight.”
“You clean up pret
ty well yourself.” He looked more than good in a pair of black jeans, boots and a neatly pressed white shirt that buttoned up the front. But then Ben would look good no matter what he wore.
Or didn’t wear.
She wondered if her thoughts were plain to see on her face. Judging by Ben’s grin, she guessed they were.
“I’m sorry—for what I said earlier,” he began.
“Don’t worry about that.”
“I am worried about it.” He cut her off. “Let me have my say, Caitlyn.”
She waited uncomfortably, not wanting to make him go through with the apology.
“It’s been hard to get used to this.” He frowned down at his ankle. “I can’t help wondering why me sometimes, but I’m going to get past that. I swear I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to being the man I know I can be.”
When she opened her mouth to speak, he took both her hands. “Hold on, now. Let me say it all. I don’t apologize much; better make the most of it.” He caught her gaze. “This injury makes me angry sometimes, but I had no call to take that out on you. I lied back there. Making it to the top of the salmon ladder was the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, and not just because it proves I can still do it. Because it meant I was going to get to spend the evening with you. That’s all I want right now.”
“I want that too.” She wanted to match Ben’s honesty with her own. She wanted him to be clear exactly how she felt.
“Good.” His smile sent flutters through her. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”
Chapter Eight
‡
Ben enjoyed himself at the dance far more than he’d expected to. Their large group claimed several tables on the periphery of the room, so even when he couldn’t dance to the faster country songs the band was playing, he had plenty of company to talk to while he watched the others.
He assured Caitlyn he didn’t mind if she danced with other partners. He wanted her to have a good time and he could tell from the tapping of her toes that she was eager to join in. Mia’s husband, Luke, was the first to ask her for a dance and after that, the other women’s husbands took turns squiring her around the floor. After each number she came back to check on him, though, and when the music finally turned slower, he stood up.
“My turn.”
“Are you sure it’s all right?” Caitlyn took his hand but concern furrowed her brow.
“I can handle a slow dance.” He tugged her out onto the floor and pulled her close. She came into his embrace eagerly enough to put to rest his fears she might have found one of her other dance partners more appealing. As her arms circled his neck, he put his hands low on her hips and tugged her tight against him. With her cheek pressed against his shoulder, he felt like he’d finally come home.
As they swayed to the music, Ben realized he wouldn’t leave Chance Creek any time soon. Whatever it was he had with Caitlyn, he needed time to see it through. Dan had mentioned there might be a job for him teaching shooting skills to his extreme training camp clients. He hadn’t taken the idea seriously, but maybe it was time to start. He’d liked what he’d seen so far of life in this small town and he’d be a fool not to take the opportunity his friend was trying to hand him.
His arms tightened around Caitlyn as if she was his already. He hoped she was prepared to share her life with him because he meant to share his with her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and when she glanced up, he bent to kiss her mouth, too.
“What was that for?” she asked with a smile.
“Because I can. I think I’ll do it again.” He gave her all the time in the world to pull back but she didn’t. Instead she stood on tiptoes to meet him. Their kiss was tender but passionate, too, and by the time it was done, Ben knew he’d be a goner if Caitlyn didn’t feel the same way he did. Suddenly, he had to know. He tilted her chin up with a finger. “I want to take you home tonight.” He waited, his heart pounding, for her answer.
When she nodded, he felt like he could conquer the world.
Caitlyn had never known an evening to pass so quickly and so slowly at the same time. On the one hand, it was over in a blur of dancing, drinking and laughing with the crowd they’d come with. On the other hand the minutes stretched out endlessly until she could be alone with Ben. Finally Dan dropped them both off without comment at Caitlyn’s rental house on the outskirts of town. Ben walked her to her door, one hand on his cane and one on her waist as she fumbled in her purse to find her keys.
Her hand was shaking as she unlocked the front door and invited him in. She’d left a light burning in the living room and before she could turn on any more, Ben set his cane aside and pulled her into his arms for a soul-searing kiss. He leaned against the wall and tugged her to stand between his legs. Cupping the back of her head, he kissed her until her knees went weak and she had to cling to his shoulders for support.
“Caitlyn.” That was all he said, but she knew what he meant and she guided him quickly to her bedroom at the back of the house. She’d barely entered the room when he leaned his cane against the wall and took hold of her again. She melted into his arms as he kissed her a third time, so hungry for him she couldn’t stand to wait another minute. She hadn’t known a man could feel this good. It was like Ben’s arms had been made to hold her—his mouth made to kiss her.
“Am I going too fast?” He pulled back and she clung to him more tightly.
“You’re not going fast enough!” She gasped as his mouth slid to her neck and his hands cupped her bottom, tugging her tight against him. Her fingers tangled with the buttons on his shirt until she had it open and smoothed her hands across his chest. She rained kissed over the broad expanse of his skin and he found the zipper at the back of her dress and slowly began to tug it down.
When she shrugged her shoulders free of the dress and shimmied it off of her to fall in a puddle at her feet, he leaned back to get the full effect. “Beautiful.” She knew the cups of her bra plumped her breasts into soft mounds and her thong underwear did little to cover her. She basked in his appreciation as she disposed of these last few bits of fabric, enjoying the knowledge that he found her so attractive. Her skin burned under his gaze and she felt wanton with the thought of what was to come.
She pushed his shirt off of his shoulders and he tugged it the rest of the way off while she undid his belt and the button of his jeans. By the time she’d freed him of his pants and boxers, he was hard and ready for her. Caitlyn couldn’t resist. She pressed kisses to his collarbone, his chest, the flat planes of his stomach as she sunk to her knees.
Taking him into her mouth, she gloried in the size of him, aching with the knowledge that soon they’d make love. Ben groaned and tangled his hands in her hair as she drew him in and pulled back, again and again until she knew she’d taken him almost to the edge. His muscled legs framed her. Every inch of Ben was so male he made feel more feminine than she ever had before. She took her time, wanting to show him how beautiful she thought he was—how much he turned her on. When he finally drew her upward to stand before him again, the look in his eyes told her he wouldn’t be able to hold back much more.
She didn’t want him to hold back at all.
Ben swept her up into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pressed against his hardness, she felt so good there she didn’t want him to move, but he grabbed his cane, held her with his free hand, carried her to the bed and laid her down on it. As he tossed his cane aside and climbed onto the bed too, her heart sped up in anticipation. She knew he’d feel so good inside of her.
He crouched above her. “Tell me how you like it.”
“Just like this.” She wanted Ben to keep looking at her like that forever.
With a groan of appreciation, Ben kneed her legs further apart and lowered himself down between them. She allowed him to explore her, his kisses waking up a long-repressed need. He cupped her breasts, kissing, licking and teasing first one nipple and then the other until she was aching wit
h desire and begging him for more. She didn’t know how she’d gone so long without male companionship, but Ben was worth the wait. She ran her hands down his back and over his ass, urging him on, pulling him closer. She couldn’t wait much longer.
“Ben,” she implored.
His hardness nudged against her and she lifted her hips to invite him in, but Ben pulled back.
“Ben, please.”
He nudged her again. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you—inside of me. Now.”
“Right now?” He grinned.
“Right now.”
He reached over the edge of the bed, fished a condom from his pants pocket and sheathed himself. “Ready?” he asked.
Caitlyn nodded and kissed him again. She’d never wanted anything more.
Chapter Nine
‡
Ben pressed slowly inside of Caitlyn and groaned. He had to hold back from burying himself deep within her with one fast stroke. He wanted to be sure of her pleasure but her gasp when he entered her and the way she dug her fingers into his skin told him she felt as good as he did. He bent to kiss her and she met him hungrily, lifting her hips to meet his, urging him further inside.
When she’d taken him into her mouth earlier he’d thought he’d lose control then and there. Her tongue had done wicked things to him and the nip of her waist and curve of her hips as she knelt in front of him had driven him wild with desire to touch her all over.
Now he pulled out and stroked in, losing himself in making love to Caitlyn, and all the anger and pain of his last few months disappeared. Here in bed they were perfectly matched. His limp didn’t matter. He was just as much a man as he’d ever been. More, even. How could he not be with Caitlyn looking at him like that?
He stroked in again, tangling his fingers in hers and loving the way she moaned when he moved within her. She was luscious, beautiful and entirely unafraid to bare her sensual reactions to his gaze. As he picked up his pace, she met him stroke for stroke, wanting him as much as he wanted her.