“Okay,” Mom says softly. “I’m going to let you guys go in, I just want you to know he has lots of tubes and wires, he doesn’t look like the Owen you know and love,” she says softly.
“Okay,” I mumble, not sure what to think.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Mom says, before walking down the hall.
“Do you want some alone time?” Evan asks before I enter the room.
“No, it’s okay,” I say
I walk inside, Evan right behind me and as soon as I see him, I burst into tears, Owen looks nothing like himself. I feel Evan’s hands on my shoulders, letting me know he’s here too. We walk closer to Owen, not believing my eyes, there are tubes and wires everywhere, he has bruises and swelling; he doesn’t look like my brother at all.
The tears fall, no stopping them, I grab my brother’s hand and cry harder, “How did this happen to you, I’m so sorry Owen, I’m so sorry. I need you to wake up, you can’t leave me here alone,” I plead, knowing he may not be able to hear me, but I have to try. “Evan’s here too, we need you to wake up, you need to come back to us. I’ll be here for you, I’m not leaving your side until you are one hundred percent back to normal,” I inform him, not caring what my parents say.
I continue to squeeze and rub his hand hoping, just hoping he wakes up, but nothing’s happening. The monitor keeps beeping its normal beeps showing his vitals.
“I can’t lose him,” I cry to Evan.
“I know Bay,” he says as he hugs me to his side. “We need him to fight harder than he’s ever fought before.
“I’m going to go talk to my mom a minute, I’ll be right back,” I say as I wipe my face before leaving the room.
I’m only gone a few minutes, asking my mom exactly what the numbers and beeping means; she explains it to me before I head back.
“How are you doing? Do you need anything?” Dani asks sweetly.
“I could definitely be better and no I don’t, but thank you. Oh, you can drive my car back to school, Evan’s going to stay a few days this week too and he said he would drive me back to campus.”
“You’re coming back in a few days?” she asks, knowing me too well.
“No, but I’m not telling anyone that.”
“Baylee, you know you can’t do anything to help him right now right?” she says sympathetically. “Rest and time is what he needs.”
“I know, but hopefully talking to him can bring him back sooner. I need him to know I’m here for him, that I’m by his side, like he was always there for me,” I say, feeling lost.
“It’s going to take more than that sweetie, I think your mom is right, you should come back to campus with Evan, let school keep you busy and she said she would call you with any updates. If there’s an update, we can drive back here as quickly as possible.”
“We will see,” I say, not giving a definitive answer.
“I know you Bay, please just think about it,” she says softly.
I shake my head, “I need to get back in there,” I say, before walking back into Owen’s hospital room. Evan’s talking to him and I see him wiping tears away.
“You know this isn’t your fault right?” I ask, because he keeps apologizing to my brother.
“I could have prevented it,” he says as tears fall.
“No you couldn’t have, it was an accident. Someone fell asleep and hit him head on. That’s not your fault and he would never blame you for that,” I inform him.
He shakes his head, “I feel like there’s something I should be doing, something to make this right,” he says.
“There’s nothing you can do, all we can do is wait,” I state.
“I know. Just hours ago I was hanging out with him, laughing, joking, having a good time, how does this happen so fast?” he asks, showing me a completely different side to him.
“I wish I knew,” I say, wiping away an escaped tear.
“I think you should come back to school with me, I think we will both need the distraction and if anything changes, we will be on the road to come back as quickly as we can,” he says as he takes ahold of my hand.
“I’ll think about it.”
“I’ll give you some time alone,” Evan says before leaving the room.
For the next five hours, Evan and I sit and talk, each giving one another alone time with Owen, hoping he can hear us, hoping he comes back to us, while also hoping the doctors are wrong and that he doesn’t have complete paralysis.
Dani leaves around five to head back to campus; she said she would let the school know about my situation. I don’t care whether she does or doesn’t, he’s my family, I won’t leave him.
Mom has come in a few times and even dad showed up for a while to discuss some medical things with mom. Of course, I didn’t get to hear that conversation, but I’ll find out at some point.
The next three days are the same; wake up, visit Owen, talk and talk to him, reliving story after story, reminding him how much we’ve been through. He has to keep fighting and come back to me. He’s my brother, my best friend, he needs to come back.
By the time Wednesday comes, mom and dad are insistent that I go back to school, Evan’s been doing the same thing as me and the three of them have talked me into going back, but only on the condition that if anything changes they call me immediately; mom and dad both agreed.
There have been no changes since his surgery, he’s still in a coma, still paralyzed, nothing has improved, but nothing has worsened either, thank goodness.
“Hey, you ready?” Evan asks from behind me.
“I guess,” I say as I grab my purse and phone. I don’t really have anything else with me because I didn’t pack a bag to come home. I’m just lucky I didn’t take all of my clothes to college.
I climb into Evan’s car and buckle up, not looking forward to going back to school.
“I know you don’t want to go, neither do I, but we can’t do anything more at this point, it’s all up to Owen. He has to fight harder than he’s ever done before if he’s going to come back to us,” Evan says, letting me know he’s right. Owen’s about to be in for the fight of his life and I just hope he doesn’t give up, he can’t give up.
The entire drive back is Evan and I telling each other stories with Owen involved of course, I can’t help but laugh at some of the crazy things the two of them did, especially when it came to girls. It’s good to know and hear things about Owen right now.
Before long, Evan’s pulling into the parking lot in front of my dorm, “Back already?” I ask, surprised, I didn’t realize how fast we got back, the stories clearly making me lose track of time.
“Yeah, it definitely didn’t seem to take that long,” he says with a smile.
“Thanks for everything Evan,” I say, looking directly at him.
“You’re welcome and if you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask,” he says, looking completely genuine.
“I will, thanks,” I say before getting out of the car and heading inside.
Dani isn’t in the room when I go in, so I lay down and stare at the ceiling, knowing damn well I don’t want to go to class tomorrow. How am I supposed to focus, when my brother is lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life?
An hour later, there’s a constant pounding on my door, dragging myself out of bed I open the door, feeling angry.
“Oh my gosh Baylee, I’m so sorry, I just heard,” Lily says as she comes flying in my room throwing her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “I would have come home, I would have been there for you,” she says kindly.
I get out of her embrace, “I’m fine.”
“No you aren’t and no one would expect you to be. When did you get back?” she asks.
“A few hours ago,” I say before walking over and sitting on my bed.
“I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do for you?” she asks, being a completely different Lily.
“Why are you here?” I finally ask.
“Look,” she says as
she sits and turns, facing me, “I get we’ve had our issues, but this is your brother, your best friend, I’ve known you two for years. I can’t imagine how hard this is right now, but I am here for you, even if you hate me, I’m still here for you,” she says, sounding all empathetic.
I can’t help when the tears start falling again, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if I lose him,” I say, giving in and missing my old friend.
She hugs me and comforts me, trying to calm me down, telling me how strong my brother is and how much of a fighter he is.
I give in, knowing I don’t have it in me to fight with anyone right now. If Lily wants to be there for me, then fine, I’m not going to argue or complain. I will accept her thoughtfulness and take it for what it is.
“Your brother is going to make it through this, you have to have faith,” she whispers. I can hear her voice crack and knows she hopes he makes it too; she’s not a heartless person.
“I know, I do,” I say as we end up crying together. Lily ends up staying and we talk for a few hours, hanging out, and discussing stupid shit, but it takes my mind off what’s going on with Owen for the time being.
Dani walks in around nine and is shocked to see Lily sitting there, let alone, me talking to her and laughing.
Lily ends up leaving a few minutes later, allowing me to fill Dani in on what happened. She doesn’t trust Lily, but thinks it was nice of her to come and show she actually does have a heart.
Around ten I get a text.
Evan- “Are you okay?”
Me- “Yeah, I’m alright.”
Evan- Good, I just wanted to check in. Do you want to grab a bit to eat tomorrow sometime, we can figure out a time to go back home to see Owen?”
Me- “Sure, sounds like a plan.”
Evan- “Ok, I’ll text you tomorrow then, goodnight Bay.”
Me- “Goodnight Ev.”
“What’s the smile for?” Dani asks from across the room.
“Evan asked if I wanted to meet for a bite to eat, so we could discuss when we want to go home and see Owen.”
“That sounds great,” she beams, but doesn’t say anything else.
The rest of the evening is spent with Dani filling me in on what the administration said about me not being here, it’s only been a few days, so I haven’t missed much. I guess going to class is a must for tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes and I wake up, get showered, dressed, and head out to all of my classes. My instructors each talk to me and give me a few extra days based on the circumstances, and I’m happy to know I don’t have much work to do.
Around three, I get a text from Evan about grabbing a bite to eat around six, I respond back saying that works.
“So, what time is your date?” Dani sings as she watches me change for the fourth time.
“It’s not a date,” I argue, as I throw another top across the room.
“Then why are you dressing like it’s one?” she jokes.
“I want to be comfortable and I don’t know where we’re going,” I snap.
“It’s cold out, wear a sweater, jeans, and your cute boots,” she says, solving all of my problems.
Deciding she’s right, I throw on a red scoopneck sweater, with a pair of jeans and my boots. I throw on a little make-up and fix my hair.
“See, you look hot and you didn’t even have to overdo it,” she laughs.
I grab a pillow and throw it at her, “It’s not a date, its just Evan and I, discussing my brother, it can’t get any more unromantic than that.”
“I know,” she says suddenly, sounding all serious, “It’s just nice to see you smile again.”
“It feels good to smile, but then I think I shouldn’t be smiling or having fun or laughing because Owen’s stuck in a coma.”
“You can’t focus on that, there’s nothing you could have done or can do now, just wait and pray for him,” she says sternly.
“I know. I’m thinking I may go back home this weekend, hell I’m thinking I may go home every weekend, it’s only a few hours’ drive,” I inform her.
“I understand that and I can go with you sometimes too, if you’d want,” she says, sounding unsure of herself.
“That sounds like a plan,” I say as my phone chimes, looking at it, it’s from Evan, letting me know he’s here. “I’m leaving,” I say as I grab my coat, purse, and keys.
“Have fun,” she smiles.
I rush down the stairs and out the door, into the blistery weather, hopping right into Evan’s car, excited to feel the heat.
“Cold?” he laughs.
“It’s freezing out,” I say, pointing to the frost on the corner of his windows.
“Is Marco’s alright?” he asks, mentioning the name of the Italian bistro in town.
“Sure,” I say, excitedly, I love Italian food.
We do small talk for the short drive and he pulls into the parking lot. We head inside and I can smell the deliciousness all around me.
“Mmm.”
“Hungry?” he jokes.
“For this place, always,” I say as we wait to be seated.
The hostess comes within seconds and walks us to a booth, each of us taking a side.
I scan the menu and decide quickly; it seems like Evan does the same. The waitress comes and we put our drink and food orders in, before we start talking.
“Oh, I think I’m going to go home every weekend,” I say, jumping right to the point of the conversation.
“I was thinking of the same thing. We have spring break coming up soon too, which will be good. When were you thinking of leaving?” he asks.
“Friday after class.”
“That sounds good, we can carpool,” he says, like it’s a no brainer.
“I get out of class at four,” I state.
“I’m done at 3:30p.m., I can meet you at 4:15 p.m. and we can be on our way.”
“Perfect, thanks for everything Ev,” I say, feeling slightly relieved.
“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” he says.
“Yes I do, my brother is lucky to have a friend like you, so thank you for that too.”
“He’s been my best friend since we were little, he would do the same for me,” he points out.
We continue talking about Owen and school, before our food shows up. I dive in, starving and ready to eat.
Once I finish my food, I decide to fill Evan in on Lily.
“I didn’t tell you, Lily showed up last night,” I say, out of the blue.
“What did she want?” he asks, looking annoyed about it.
“She was worried and just wanted to talk about Owen.”
“Really?” he asks, sounding completely surprised.
“I know, it caught me off guard at first, but it was nice. It was the old Lily, the one I haven’t seen in a very long time.”
“Just be careful with her,” he says, warning me.
“I know,” I laugh, “I’ve seen too many sides to her. She’s good for now, but who knows in a day or two.”
“Exactly.”
We finish dinner and head out, he drops me off back and home and we plan to leave tomorrow to go back home.
I fill Dani in on how dinner went; nothing out of the ordinary and definitely nothing along the lines of a date, which I knew it wasn’t. I also let her know that I am planning to go home every weekend, starting tomorrow.
Chapter Fourteen
A month goes by, still no change in Owen’s condition. He’s still in a coma and it feels like forever. Evan and I have been going home every weekend, hoping that each time we go that this is going to be the time he wakes up.
As much as I’m trying not to lose hope, I’m starting to. I don’t know what I can do to help him. I feel lost and alone and I can only imagine how he’s feeling, if he can feel anything at all right now.
I’m sitting in Evan’s car, another weekend is here, and as hopeful as I want to be, I feel like he’s letting go and there’s nothing I can do. I stare out the window, n
ot saying much as Evan continues to drive.
“Are you alright?” he asks, glancing in my direction.
“I’m fine,” I lie; he doesn’t need to know how I feel right now.
“Bay, I know you, and hanging out in the car weekend after weekend, I’d say I got to know you pretty damn well, so talk to me, what’s going on?”
“I feel like…,” I hesitate.
“You’re losing hope; you think he’s giving up. The longer he’s in a coma, the worse the outcome could be,” he says, saying what I wanted to say, but not knowing how.
“Yeah,” I mumble.
“It’s understandable, it’s been a month and nothing’s changed. You have to stay positive when you see him though, because all it takes is one time and he may wake up. He is going to wake up Bay, you have to believe that,” he says as he continues to drive while glancing over at me.
“I know, it’s just hard, I want him to wake up now.”
“It takes time; your mom said it could be months and months, sometimes years.”
“I know, but I also know my parents and if he doesn’t wake up soon my parents are going to take him off the machines.”
“He’s not always on a ventilator, he may be able to breathe just fine on his own, he has brain activity,” he says, reminding me like I forgot.
“I know, but what if he doesn’t breathe and they take him off, it will kill him,” I say as a single tear escapes.
“You cannot think that way; we just have to hope that he wakes up before that happens.”
“I’ll fight with my parents. I hope like hell they aren’t thinking about doing that just yet, I’m not ready to let go or say goodbye.”
“Neither are your parents Baylee, no one is,” he says with a solemn look.
We head straight to the hospital and I get out and head inside. When we get to the sixth floor, I spot my mom instantly. She looks like she always does, dressed in scrubs with her white coat, looking all professional.
“Hey Mom,” I say as I approach her. She gives me a hug and informs me that nothing has changed with Owen. No matter how much I wish it did, I knew it didn’t.
We head inside his room and sit with him, he’s still the same, all tubes and wires going everywhere, he’s not bruised like he was a month ago, but still doesn’t look like his normal self. He looks so pale and looks to be getting worse every time I see him.
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