by Mj Fields
She looked at him, ���Really?���
���Or I could stay here and wait for you to go off on me,��� he lifted his chin high.
���Lucas I������ she started and stopped. She started to walk away and waved her hand, ���Do whatever you need to do.���
He peeled out of the driveway as Tessa watched out the kitchen window, wanting to cry.
Tessa joined her siblings and Phoebe in the hot tub. They talked and laughed. Tessa got out and checked her phone, he hadn���t texted.
She walked in the bathroom and showered. She threw on her clothes and walked out into the kitchen and helped her mom make salads for the shower.
Her phone chimed:
- hope everything is alright. Lucas is here and in bed, he looks pretty upset��� Jade
- glad he is safe; yeah we have had a rough couple days. Go figure. I���ll see you guys at the shower in the morning. I���ll talk to you then��� Tessa
* * *
Tessa woke up and showered. She helped her mom load everything up and headed to camp.
Everything looked great, and people were pulling in. She greeted family and friends, some that she hadn���t seen in awhile. She heard a call pulling down the dirt road and turned hoping it was him. She saw an unfamiliar vehicle. Troy got out and opened the door she saw Carmen was with him. She ran over and hugged her.
���Hello, you two,��� she smiled. ���You ready to meet the family?���
Tessa watched the way Troy looked at her and was happy for him. Jade and Ryan pulled in. She smiled hoping to see Lucas not far behind. She missed him. Ben���s family rolled in next, and he smiled when she looked at him.
���Hey Tess, looking hot as usual,��� he hugged her. ���Where���s your boy, I saw your interview on TV, you pulled that off very well.���
���So what have you been up to? I���ve missed your face Ben,��� Tessa smiled.
���Not much, first- year over. I am going to study in Europe next year that���s pretty exciting,��� Ben smiled.
She felt her face fall, and he laughed.
���Tessa Ross, what���s up with that look?��� he smiled smugly.
���Nothing Ben. It���ll just be weird not seeing you at camp that���s all��� she laughed and slugged him in the arm.
The party had gone on for an hour and still no Lucas. She walked up to Jade.
���Where is he?��� she asked.
���I don���t know, he mentioned that you may not want him here,��� Jade said cautiously.
���Seriously? If he doesn���t show up to my sister���s shower, I may not want him here ever again,��� Tessa stormed off.
Ben watched her walk away and ran up to her, ���Trouble in paradise, girl?���
���Isn���t there always?��� she said and immediately regretted it.
���Still not happy, huh?���
���No, I am it���s just��� I don���t know��� I know I love him ��� I just act terrible sometimes and he always ends up acting worse,��� she said looking at the ground.
���Tess, if you look at my ass you���ll feel better,��� Tessa smiled and they both laughed.
They started walking back towards the party.
���Just seeing your face is enough, I miss you,��� she admitted.
���I know,��� Ben smiled.
Tessa helped keep trays full and played with baby Luke. He was getting so big. Finally, music was playing and she danced with Lukie, and he laughed.
���You could make the whole world happy, little man,��� she said and spun around with him.
���It���s almost feeding time Lukie,��� Jade took him from Tessa, ���Sorry.���
She looked up and saw Lucas pulling down the driveway. She immediately got annoyed. Ben saw her face and laughed.
���Shut up,��� she laughed at Ben.
Lucas walked up with a basket full of gifts. He looked at her if you weren���t such an ass you would look so damn hot right now, she thought. She turned and walked away.
���Tessa, he���s here,��� Jade said, ���Better late than never.���
���Did you call him Jade?���
���No, I didn���t call him,��� Jade said and quickly walked away.
Lucas put the gifts by the table and walked over to Ryan, ���Thanks for the heads up, man.���
He walked over to Tessa.
���Nice of you to show up,��� she snapped.
���I���m here, aren���t I?��� he asked.
���You���re lucky you are or this would have been done, this is my family Lucas. If you���re with me, they���re MVP���s do you understand that?���
He looked at her and raised his eyebrow.
���If this is how things are going to be today, I won���t be here long,��� he looked her straight in the eyes. ���Do you understand that?���
She didn���t expect that, and she was hurt. She turned and walked away.
���Hello Lucas,��� Troy said.
���Hey, look at you two,��� he hugged them both, ���How long are you staying?���
���We have to be back in four days, Carmen has classes to teach, and I have a real job now, things are changing. I���m even thinking about going to college,��� he laughed and hugged Carmen.
���Where are you two staying? We have a place up in Syracuse and two spare bedrooms if you guys want you could stay with us,��� Lucas offered.
���Is that alright with you?��� Troy asked Carmen.
���Sounds great,��� Carmen smiled.
The party went marvelously. Tessa and Lucas avoided each other the entire day. Tessa was sitting with baby Luke in a chair, rocking him as he slept.
���You look happy with him in your arms, how are you Tess?��� Ben asked as he knelt down next to her.
���I���m okay,��� she whispered.
���This can���t be easy, I���m sorry,��� he said quietly.
A tear fell, and he wiped it away. Lucas stood and watched the exchange and was immediately aggravated.
���Until I think about it, it���s fine,��� Tessa forced a smile.
���It���s only been six month’s girl, you���ll get there,��� Ben said gently.
She couldn���t believe he knew that. Lucas didn���t even remember.
���Thank you,��� she looked confused.
���Ross ��� you���ll be an amazing mom someday, don���t you dare rush it, okay? Please. Your future children deserve the best they can get Tess and ��� well please just wait, figure you out first,��� Ben eyes filled with deep concern.
���Okay Ben,��� she said and he stood up.
���We���re taking off,��� Ben took a deep breath; ���I���m going to miss you terribly, Tess. If you need me for anything, please call or send a message okay? For anything. See you later, hot stuff.���
���I���ll miss your face Ben,��� she smiled ���Be safe.���
He turned to walk away and looked back, ���Your looking��� it���s pretty damn amazing.���
She laughed and watched him walk away.
���Hey Lucas, how are you?��� Ben asked.
���I���m fine Ben, how is MY girl?��� he asked.
���She���s right over there��� you should go ask her yourself,��� Ben said snidely, ���I���ll
be gone for a year Lucas, be good to her.���
���Where you going?��� he asked.
���To study in Europe,��� Ben looked back at Tessa.
���Trying to get away from something Ben?���
���Trying to avoid watching a girl I love be treated like far less than she deserves to be,��� Ben said, ���Take care, Links.���
Lucas could not believe he had said that to his face.
���Is that what made her cry? A confession of your love to her?��� he called after him.
Ben quickly turned around and walked towards him.
���You don���t need to make a scene. No, she has no idea. I wouldn���t want to hurt her. But you better tread lightly. She���s over there rocking a baby, and she lost yours six months ago, I asked her how she was. I remembered it had been six months because I remember her pain. You better start looking beyond yourself. She loves you, and you have no fucking clue how lucky you are,��� Ben turned and walked away.
Lucas stood there for a minute and tried to calm himself down. Everyone outside of close family had left the party. Tessa was still rocking Luke and singing to him. Lucas helped clean up and finally walked over to Tessa.
���Hi,��� he said softly.
���Hi,��� she said and looked up at him.
He stared at her for a long time and then touched her arm. He searched her face for a reaction, and there wasn���t one. Tessa looked at the baby and took a deep breath and looked back at him.
���Tessa if that���s what you want, we should try again.���
She looked shocked and whispered, ���What are you talking about?���
���If you want a baby, Tessa we can try,��� his eyes burning hers.
���Is that what you want, Lucas?��� she asked trying to process what he had just said.
���I want you to be happy,��� he looked at her.
���I am perfectly happy right now,��� she looked at the sleeping baby.
���I know, you look so at home when you hold him and it���s so amazing.���
���No, Lucas that���s not what I want right now,��� she looked sadly at him wondering how he could think that was actually an issue and wondering if she really knew what the issue was.
���Okay then tell me how to make you happy?���
���Lucas, I shouldn���t have to,��� she bent over and kissed his lips lightly. ���We���re screwing this up again, and it���s breaking my heart,��� Tessa stood up and walked over and followed Jade to the car.
When they finished cleaning up. Troy put his arm around Tessa and smiled, ���So Carmen and I are staying with you and Lucas for a couple days. We are going to have a good time aren���t we?���
Tessa was confused but pulled it off not wanting to make Troy or Carmen uncomfortable, ���Yes we are.���
Lucas was standing on the dock and looking at the water; she walked up behind him and lightly pushed him towards the water. He jumped and almost fell in, she laughed and so did he.
He hugged her. ���I love you Tessa, sorry.���
���I love you, and I���m sorry,��� she pulled away from him.
���About what? I���ve been the one being an ass,��� he admitted.
���Sorry about this,��� she walked closer and his body visibly relaxed and she pushed him in the pond.
She laughed as he came up out of the water and he yelled, ���You are in so much trouble!���
���I know,��� she jumped in with him.
He grabbed her and kissed her. She hugged him and wrapped her legs around him laughing.
���Don���t do that, baby?��� he said, and she felt his hand underneath her.
���Why the panties?��� he whispered as he ripped them off.
She gasped.
���Lucas, my family,��� she started.
���They���re still cleaning up,��� he pulled himself free from his wet shorts and slowly moved into her.
���Oh God Lucas, not here please,��� she moaned, her body not agreeing with her head.
���Then stop moving baby,��� he moved them under the deck so they wouldn���t be seen.
���I���m going to make this quick, but I���ll more than make up for it later,��� he kissed her neck as he moved hard and fast, groaning with each powerful almost overwhelming thrust. He closed his eyes and put his head against her neck. There was something different about this time. No hands, no kissing, it was possessive, animalistic; it was as if he just desperately needed a release.
���Lucas,��� she moaned and tried to guide his face to hers.
���No baby,��� he hissed and continued until he finished.
Tessa was shocked; it was like he wasn���t even with her. When he finally pulled his head away from her neck and looked at her, his eyes were dark, pupils too dilated for the amount of light at this time of day. He closed his eyes and took a few breaths and then opened his eyes and smiled, ���We good Baby?���
Tessa shook his head yes, ���Kiss me?���
Lucas smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly.
They swam out into the pond and Kendall yelled
���Did she push you in?��� Lucas shook his head yes, and Kendall laughed, ���And then she jumped in?��� he shook his head again; ���You got to get her first!���
The rest of the family stood and laughed as they watched them swim towards shore.
���You do know we can���t fix everything like this right?��� she asked.
���We can talk Tessa, anytime,��� he smiled. ���But that was nice?���
���I don���t think we have a problem in that area.���
He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and smacked her butt, her family laughed and so did she. He walked out of the water and put her down.
���What else needs to be done around here?��� Lucas asked and smirked at Tessa.
���I think that���s all,��� John said. ���We are just going to go unload the stuff at the house.���
They followed her family to the farm helped unload everything and Tessa and Lucas went into the bathroom to change.
���This is the first place I met the girls Tessa, well up close and very personal,��� he smiled.
���It���s where a lot of stuff happened,��� she said sadly.
He hugged her, ���I hope you know, no matter what��� I love you Tessa. When I am an ass, when I am away from you, I love you. That will never stop.���
���I know,��� she said.
She wondered if that was enough for a lifetime. Because she loved him so much that she should just suffer through the hard times, not only suffer ��� but expect them. She didn���t think she could do it without losing herself.
���Did you plan on coming today, or did Jade call you?���
He took a deep breath, ���Jade told Ryan what you said and he called me. I was angry about everything that went on yesterday and the day before. I really just wanted to go home.���
���But you went to your old house, not ours. Why didn���t you stay here with me?���
���I was angry Tessa, and I knew you were too,��� he said still holding her. ���I didn���t want to talk about it. I knew I was wrong for snapping at you, and for not telling you I went to the grave and everything else. I just didn���t want to deal with it.���
���Lucas should we go to counseling to learn how to talk to each other?���
&n
bsp; He stiffened, ���No.���
���Okay,��� she rubbed his back. ���Are you mad that I asked that?���
���I just wish you would remember where we were less than two years ago, and be happy with how far we���ve come.���
She wished he had said yes to counseling, and that she was worth it. Maybe she should act broken��� he seemed to shine then. He was so frustrating! Well for now she knew she loved him, and it hurt much worse trying to get over him than it did having her feelings hurt every three or four months. She just hoped it didn���t happen more often and that.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
When Tessa got home from her first music lesson, she truly happy. Adam was less than personable and very harsh, but he made her want to do better and work harder. They ended the lesson with him giving her an impossibly long list of songs. Tessa had stopped to buy a keyboard on her way home, he almost insistent that she go buy a real piano she argued with him that she couldn���t right now and that this was his idea the ���whole piano lesson thing��� so he could either take it or leave it.
Lucas came home, and dinner was in the oven. Tessa sat on the floor and practiced row, row, row your boat.
���What���s this? Piano now?��� He kissed her head.
���Oh, I forgot, I didn���t get a chance to tell you. Adam said I should take up an instrument and that it should be piano, pushy prick! He doesn���t take no for an answer. But he can play everything Lucas. I know I can learn a lot from him.��� He didn���t respond. ���Did you hear me?���
���Yep, I heard he is pushy and doesn���t take no for an answer that he can play anything and that you can learn a lot from him, and I already can���t stand him,��� He said. ���I think you need to find a new teacher, soon. I don���t even know why you���re doing this to be honest Tessa, do you?���
She looked at him, totally confused.
���Well is it something you���re going to truly pursue or make something of?��� he asked.
She smiled and answered, ���I don���t know.���
Screw you! She screamed in her head.
���Hey, I���m going for a run,��� she stood and quickly went to the door