by Mj Fields
���Em,��� he started.
���We���ll be fine, this is just going to be a lot of work,��� Emma patted his back.
���Okay, if that���ll make you happy,��� he said and turned to walk away.
���Wait,��� she yelled and he turned around and his shoulders slumped and his hands shoved in his pockets, he let out a breath.
���Yes Emma?��� he asked quietly.
���Okay ��� I don���t want you to hurt and I don���t want to hurt. I can���t live like that again; I did that for many years. That isn���t how we are. That being said, you need to be honest with me and I���ll be honest with the way I feel, always. I���ll be more considerate of you and try to understand that you need time. But you need to give me answers…I don���t want to be blindsided.���
���Okay, but if you leave me Emma,��� he shook his head back and forth.
���Please don���t think like that. This should be wonderful, you���re home,��� Emma grabbed his face, ���You are home.���
He pulled her tightly into his arms and nuzzled into her neck, ���You smell so good.���
���So you say.���
���Will you come watch movies and eat pizza and snuggle with the beautiful little angels?��� Brody asked.
���Yes, I���m going to order the pizza, do you still like it loaded with meat?���
���Yes, and thick crust from that place���Medallions?��� Brody smiled.
���Good job rock star,��� Emma laughed.
Brody���s eyes twinkled, ���Your approval means so much to me.���
* * *
The girls were in bed and Emma went to the office to work. She was editing when she heard her father come in. She hit save and went out to the kitchen.
���Hello,��� she said as she looked down.
���Your sister���s a mess, Emma,��� Henry threw his jacket over the back of the chair.
���Well, I kind of get that,��� Emma grabbed a bottle of water. She threw her hair up in a bun and grabbed Brody���s sweatshirt and put it on and shoved it over her nose smelling his delicious scent.
���You���re being very hard on her,��� Henry sat down.
���Well let me apologize���.��� Emma said raising her eyebrow.
���Emma, could I stay please?��� Brody asked.
���Sure, two against one sounds fabulous,��� she laughed.
���Ok, so you accused your sister of trying to seduce Troy?��� Henry asked.
���Yep, he told me she did,��� Emma answered, ���Let me ask you something Dad. Why was she over there? Why didn���t you know she was there? After last week���s nonsense, I thought I���d made myself clear that she���s not to be around them without at least two other adults. And if you don���t believe me, ask Rupert ��� he was there,��� she looked at Brody. ���Which by the way was about nine months in the making, and after today���s enlightening bit of information, which you ALSO knew, my husband who was a boy had fucked my sister before sending him back in the bowels of hell to drag her out? That���s unbelievable to me.���
���You don���t know what you would do to save your child Emma, especially one that you failed.��� He offered, ���And I���m sorry about what happened. I truly am, but I couldn���t let her rot,��� Henry snapped.
���That���s fine, whatever you need to tell yourself. But my husband fucked her again and she���s known for months he was there������
���You don���t know that Emma, she would have told us that,��� Henry gasped.
���Of course she would. Here���s the deal: I���ve been through the worst hell in my life, more devastating than fertility issues, more devastating than my divorce, through both of those I���ve had you both and I���m truly appreciative for that. But you have lied to me, and put her needs before mine. When I have two children and their needs are equally important to me. Speaking of, how is it that my eight year old daughter knew about the connection between the two of them,��� she said waving her hand towards Brody, ���Before I did? Oh and the term ���sex ring?��� Not something I want to explain to her…but that ��� bitch used those words when she decided to tell my eight year old that the man who had been more of a father to her than hers ever was, is alive?!���
���Emma, I������ Henry began.
���No, I���m trying my hardest to spread myself between two beautiful little girls, a fulltime job, and the man I love. I don���t have it in me to let that sadistic bitch continue to batter me whenever she sees fit. So I���m working from home now, I won���t need any help with my children. I love you, but until you take the blinders off and stop enabling her behavior ��� I���ll keep my distance. Troy no longer wants to do visitation there so I���ll be figuring that out as well. I won���t pretend with her; I will set boundaries if and when I feel like I can be part of her life again, it will be on my terms. I���m pissed and hurt right now. I can empathize with your situation but it doesn���t mean I���ll put my children at risk.��� Emma sat back and took a drink.
���Elizabeth would like permission to talk with Brody; she feels it would help both of them. I don���t disagree,��� Henry said.
Emma���s jaw dropped and she looked at Henry and then looked at Brody who sat with his head down and arms crossed over his chest, ���Goodnight.��� Emma said and stood up.
���Emma wait,��� Henry snapped.
���What Dad, does she want my children as well?��� Emma laughed.
���You���re being so unlike yourself,��� Henry said shaking his head.
���Oh I���m SO sorry ��� but I don���t trust your judgment anymore. I love you Dad, but I don���t trust you,��� Emma said and turned to walk away.
���You don���t trust her, or me, but your husband you trust?��� Henry snapped.
���You lied to me, she lied to me���Brody lied for me. As wrong as it is, there is a difference. Again, I���m going to bed.���
Emma walked up the stairs and went into London���s room and tucked her in and turned on the monitor she had under the bed. London knew it was there but preferred it to be hidden, it made her feel safe but she didn���t want to seem like a baby, so they compromised. She covered her up and kissed her head. She walked up to Lexington���s room, covered her up and kissed her sweet little cheek. Emma lay in the bed she had slept in for more than eight months and tried to sleep. She lay there thinking until her head hurt.
* * *
Brody walked up the stairs and into their bedroom and Emma wasn���t there. He walked into London���s room, ���Goodnight London,��� he whispered and kissed her forehead.
He walked into Lexington���s room and smiled as he looked at her, ���Well Princess, things are a bit of a mess right now, but it���ll get better,��� he bent down and kissed her head and she opened her eyes and laughed. ���Oh no you don���t go back to sleep,��� he giggled, ���Your Mommy is going to skin me alive, shhh go to sleep,��� she giggled. ���Well at least you���re happy with me, come here crazy baby.��� He picked her up and grabbed her blanket, ���So how does this work?��� he laughed, ���You���re getting sleeeeepy.���
Emma smiled as she watched them.
���So what do I do to fix all this Lexi?��� he asked and she laughed. ���Okay, but your mother may think I���ve gone mad if I jus
t laugh all the time,��� Lexi started to grunt and he looked at her, ���Oh no you don���t, please Princess not now, wait for your���oh love you did didn���t you? This isn���t good at all, your Mommy is hiding on me and you���ve soiled yourself,��� he laid her on the changing table. ���Okay there���s a lot of buttons here, could you please stay still, oh Lexi, please stop squirming.��� He finally unbuttoned her and started to undo the diaper, ���Oh wow, umm, isn���t there a call button or monitor, Hello Emma,��� he said and gagged, ���How the hell ��� oh I mean how on earth did all that come out of that tiny little belly, what did she feed you? Please don���t move���oh this isn���t good���we need a change of clothes,��� he pulled his shirt over his nose and Lexi laughed, ���How does this not bother you? It���s quite disgusting and all over you, shit!���
Emma couldn���t sit back any longer, ���Would you like some help?���
���Oh God Em, look at what she���s done, I mean I���m sure I didn���t help matters but, this…is appalling,��� Brody whined.
Emma grabbed her a new sleeper and a clean pair of socks, within minutes she was cleaned and changed, ���All better,��� Emma kissed her nose.
���Thank you, I���m sorry I woke her, where were you?���
���Well I fell asleep in here, you woke me,��� Emma forced a small smile.
���And Lexington…I���m sorry,��� Brody said uncomfortably.
���Brody she would have woke up on her own if she had to poop,��� Emma explained.
���Alright, I can try to get her to sleep,��� he took her.
���I���m going to lie back down over here, just in case you need me okay?���
���Thank you, umm are you planning on sleeping in here?��� Brody asked looking away.
���This is where I���ve slept since she was born,��� Emma yawned. ���I guess its habit.���
���Well do you think it���s one you plan to break anytime soon?��� He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.
���I think I only slept in here because I couldn���t sleep in there,��� Emma whispered.
���Alright, how long does it take for her to fall asleep?��� He asked as she tried to stick her fingers in his mouth.
���Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours. I can take her if you���re tired,��� Emma said and reached for her.
Emma lay on the bed and held her on her chest, Lexi mouthed her chin.
���Her teeth bothering her?��� He asked.
Emma smiled and nodded her head, ���Okay you���re going to get some medicine. Will you take her for a minute?���
* * *
Emma gave her infant Tylenol and she was asleep within minutes. She lay her down and looked at Brody and took a deep breath.
Emma closed the door and followed Brody into their room, she went into the bathroom and showered, brushed her teeth and flossed. She threw on an old t- shirt and walked out. Brody walked past her, ���Excuse me.���
She heard the shower start and laid down and fell asleep, ���Hey Emma,��� he said peeking his head out of the bathroom.
���Is everything alright?��� she asked.
���Well I, can you tell me where to find a razor?���
Emma got up, walked into the bathroom, and grabbed him one, ���Here.���
���Thank you, how about scissors?��� He asked. She handed him the scissors. ���Can you help me get the back if I do the front?���
Emma had started to like Brody���s longer hair, the way he pulled it back, or the way it was when he came home, he had a black knit cap on that night and a wool pea coat. The way it tickled her face and the way she was able to hold it in her hands when he was���
���Cut your hair?��� Emma whispered.
���Yes, I used to do it all the time and London was right,��� he said combing his hair straight up and cutting three inches off.
���Brody,��� she gasped.
���You look terrified,��� he laughed.
���Well you have great hair and you���re just chopping it,��� Emma said nervously. He laughed and continued. He combed it and shook his head and handed her the comb.
���I don���t think I should.���
���Love you���re not going to let me walk around with a mullet are you?��� he laughed.
���What if I screw it up?���
���Then we���ll fix it, it���s quite easy.���
Emma listened to his instructions and did as he asked.
���It���s short Brody.���
He fixed the front a little and she towel dried his hair. ���Looks good, thanks,��� Brody smiled.
Emma grabbed cleaning wipes and cleaned up the hair as he brushed his teeth.
They climbed into bed, ���Would you like to watch television Em?���
���No thank you. I���m really tired, but you can.��� Emma fluffed her pillow.
Brody was watching the news when his story came across, ���Hey that���s us, in pajamas.��� He chuckled in his husky tone.
Emma sat up and watched as the pictures flipped through, ���They look beautiful,��� Emma smiled.
���All three of you look amazing.���
Emma smiled, ���As do you.���
���Thank you but���Emma do you still want to talk?��� Brody looked at her sadly.
���I don���t think so, I want to put this whole day to bed,��� Emma smiled hoping to ease his angst.
���Ok, but can we please just get it over soon?��� He looked down.
���If you want to now we can, you look sad,��� Emma touched his face.
He let out a breath and pushed his face hard against her hand, ���I feel sick to my stomach. Let me just do this now.���
Emma sat up and faced him, ���Could you turn around?��� He asked.
���Why?���
���I don���t want to see disappointment, disgust or anger, it hurts me to make you feel those things. Fuck this sucks. You have to know I didn���t expect this, I would have never left you Emma, not ever,��� Brody said through clenched teeth.
Emma turned around and took his face, ���And you have to know, I believe you when you say that, I lost you because you didn���t trust me enough to talk about what was going on, and that crushes me.���
Emma hugged him and clung tightly to his neck, ���I was fourteen and playing music, you know that. I always looked older because I was tall. My band and I got into bars and were known. We started dabbling in drugs, mostly hash and pot, something to bring us down and not feel. I remember going to this one place and we thought it was a strip club. We sat and drank and were already high as kites. Well people started to fuck right there. Some wore collars with little locks. A closed lock signified that they were in a relationship and an open one meant they were available. We caught on quick and bought ourselves collars. We went to the club a lot. One day a girl blonde hair with green eyes was there, her lock was open, I knew she was older. She carried herself the way that the Dom���s or a Dominant did. Chin up and confident, in control. That was hot to me. I was young, without a parent, horny as hell, and I was seeking that. I watched and learned how the Subs or Submissive acted. They stayed with their Dom���s and waited for their attention. When they received it, they were so happy and pampered and well- fucked.���
���So I was high, she was there, I must have followed her around like a lost puppy. She
took me back to her huge apartment and took control. She had a small tattoo of a whip on her lower back. The next night I went back a little more assertive, not waiting for her attention I just grabbed her hand and she slapped me and told me to sit. I did, when she was ready to leave she told me to follow her. She took me back to the same place and tied me up and whipped me and then pleasured me: whipped and pleasured me again. She bought me clothes and fed me well for two weeks. The last night I saw her I walked into the club, there was a man there and her head was hung and she followed him around. When I tried to talk to her, she ignored me. I sat and stared at her when he noticed, he took her arm and dragged her out the door. That was the last time I saw her. Another guy there told us of another club and I walked in head held high. I didn���t like being whipped. I fucked a lot of subs, all older. All had money and wanted to please me. When I wasn���t on drugs I had no interest in this. You still awake Em?��� She nodded her head yes. ���Any questions?���
���Was that woman my sister?��� Emma asked her head still buried in his shoulder.
���Yes it was sorry��� he answered, ���Do you want to stop for a while?���
She shook her head no.
���When I went to London, I called my sister and her and Ariel showed up at the bar in the photo online, the bartender had the same tattoo, but on her neck. I remembered that woman who beat my ass. On Christmas your dad gave you the album, and I saw a picture of what she would look like and when you showed me the album, I thought she looked familiar. The same album was at the cottage, I had some dreams. I woke and looked at it. Your dad noticed my reaction. I blew it off and then started having more dreams, I couldn���t ignore it, I had to know. And I wanted to give you the happiness you deserve.���
���I eventually talked to your father. He told me you buried an empty casket. He and I made plans and well you know what came of that. So I went into the bar and invited an old friend that I know is still into that scene: the drugs and the BSDM scene. I asked him if he remembered her and he smiled. He got me in. All of that Em was from your father, Clive, and James, I don���t remember any of it.���