by Mj Fields
���Maddox it���s different, so different. It���s not dirty desires with Emma, it���s love. Wow Maddox, I think we need to have the sex talk,��� Brody chuckled nervously.
���No, I don���t think we do,��� Maddox���s face turned red.
���Maddox, you kissed Harper correct?��� Brody asked. Maddox looked up at him and scowled, ���Did that feel dirty?���
���YES,��� Maddox snapped, ���No���I don���t know.���
Brody pulled a chair up beside him, ���Give me your attention for ten minutes Maddox, and then you can go through this again.���
Maddox sat back and looked at him.
���Between two consenting adults, two people who are both willing, sex is a beautiful thing. It���s not supposed to be impressed upon someone. Two people who make a commitment to care for each other, mind, body, and soul take pleasure in adoring each other���s������
���Okay, okay,��� Maddox covered his ears as his face turned beet red.
Brody smiled, ���It bothered you that Emma and I were hugging?���
���It bothered me that your head was squished into her tits on my bed in front of me,��� Maddox said in disgust.
���Emma knew I was struggling tonight. She hugged me, and I rested my head against her heart. Taking comfort in her act of love,��� Brody explained, ���Her heart just happens to be beneath her tits.���
Maddox tried not to laugh, ���I get it, fine, I get it.���
���Maddox even before Emma, sex was enjoyable. Maybe not while being held captive and beat; you know what that���s not true. Your body responds to touch. It feels good to be touched. I was disgusted with myself when I saw the tapes. I should not have���it feels good to be touched, our bodies are built to enjoy the pleasure. In that way sometimes, our bodies defy our minds, and that can cause confusion. You spoke about girls coming into your room who eventually began touching you. Did you enjoy that?���
���NO! How could I?��� Maddox snapped
���Okay but they craved you. They wanted to take comfort in you. They didn���t know any better. Their bodies betrayed them. Your mind tells you it���s dirty and that���s okay. They knew that they can receive enjoyment from that act. They didn���t know any better. Those girls, I pray to God have received counseling, Maddox because they may think that they were immoral because it was pleasurable at times. I almost guarantee that���s what Elizabeth thought. So you are on the complete opposite side of the spectrum.���
���I heard them cry, Dad,��� Maddox���s voice was barely a whisper, ���In fear and in pain. I know what each sounds like. The cry of fear is a quivering in the throat, a low rumbling sound mixed with soft pleas. Pain is that times a million except it���s not quiet it���s loud and filled with horror. It���s still the quiver but the rumble is gone, and it���s like a fucking bomb is exploding in your ears and in your heart. It brings you to your knees in desperation, and you cover your ears hoping it stops for them and then selfishly you hope it stops for you,��� Maddox���s eyes were closed tight as he slowly rocked himself back and forth, ���The longer those cries went on the worse they sounded the longer they lasted. When the pain and horror sounds left, the cries of disgust or self-loathing began. They didn���t last that long. Then I would hear the pig shut the door and walk into the bathroom.���
Brody was horrified, but made himself let Maddox talk. Maddox needed to get this shit out, he told himself.
���One of the older girls used to go in the room when called. She didn���t cry out in fear or pain. She made low little moaning sounds. The pig didn���t stay in there long at all,��� Maddox wiped his eyes and looked up at Brody, ���I asked her if she was okay once and she scowled at me. The next time I asked her she looked at me in disgust. I avoided her at all costs. One night, the night Lucy was brought to the house, the pig was taking one of them in the room. Fucking dragging this girl by her hair. I saw the horror in that girl���s eyes, and I snapped. I ran at him and punched him until he let go of the girl���s hair and he grabbed his belt and beat me with it. He shoved me in the closet and locked me in. I was wild; I beat the door and screamed. I have no idea how the neighbors heard none of this! Lucy started screaming and then she stopped. I was so afraid he was hurting her. The older girl hit the door and hissed SHUT THE FUCK UP. I heard her trying to comfort Lucy she just kept repeating Shh Shh Shh over and over again, until Lucy stopped crying. Then I heard her telling Lucy that ���If he takes you in there, don���t you cry. He likes that, and it hurts longer, don���t you cry, Lucy,��� Maddox covered his ears and again closed his eyes, he brought is knees to his chest and continued
���Shh, shhh, shhh. She said it over and over again. I don���t know how long I was in there but when I came out I was filthy. She opened the door when I was showering and put a towel on the sink and walked out. She came to my room that night; I had not eaten in days. She brought me bread and apples. We heard Lucy���I tried to open the door, but it was locked. She covered my mouth when I tried to scream and ���Shh Shhh Shh���. I threw up everything I ate, and she fucking cleaned it up. She told me he was drunk, and he would pass out. After the pig unlocked the door she snuck out while he was in the bathroom. She got Lucy cleaned up and brought her into my room after he passed out. We all laid in my bed, and I read to them, the Velveteen Rabbit, why do I remember that?��� he finally looked up at Brody.
���Does she have a name?��� Brody asked quietly.
���She called herself Jane���Jane Doe. I found out she was sold by her family to the pig. She was not a virgin when she came. She put herself���God Dad, she was���I need to find her. She was a beautiful soul even though she did not think so. What she did���she vied for his attention. She said she liked it, she was the first one that came to me, and I told her no. She kept many nights quiet. But it made me just as sick. I need to find her,��� Maddox stood up and walked to the computer.
���Maddox it���s late. You have had a rough night,��� Brody tried to stop him.
���NO! I NEED TO FUCKING FIND HER!��� Maddox yelled.
���Maddox, you need to breathe and calm down,��� Brody didn���t move out of his way.
Maddox���s face was red and veins bulged in his neck. He did not get into bed he stared at Brody challenging him: angry and emotionally destroyed.
���Maddox, it���s time for bed.���
Maddox���s breaths began to hasten and sweat glistened on his brow. He clenched his jaw and his fists.
���You pissed Maddox?��� Brody crossed his arms over his chest taking a non-defensive stance.
���I want to break something,��� he growled.
���I know the feeling,��� Brody walked around him and pulled the covers down, ���Get in bed, I will grab the IPad we will look together for ten minutes, then its lights out. You and I are getting up early in the morning and run. Tomorrow after school we hit the gym— you and I are going to work out. Release some of this anger.���
Brody left the room and walked into his bedroom, and Emma sat on the bed and quickly wiped her tears, ���Come here Em, what all did you hear?���
���Everything, Brody,��� Emma sobbed quietly into his shirt, ���God, what more is he hiding?���
Brody hugged her and kissed her head, ���I hope he will trust us enough to tell us eventually.���
���You better go,��� Emma wiped her face on his shirt, ���Oh sorry.���
He smiled, ���That alright, love. Will you be alright?��� he wiped her tears and
kissed her on the nose she nodded her head yes, ���Get some sleep?���
���Yes, go take care of him.��� Emma hugged him tight and stepped away. ���He needs you more than I do right now, go.���
Brody ran his hands through his hair and scrunched his eyes together, ���Alright.���
Maddox read the text message he received from Harper.
- Thinking about you, I hope ur alright���HA
Maddox didn���t reply
- Maddox tell me you are okay, I saw the post���HA
- I am fine leave it alone Harper���MH
- I am sorry you are going through this again���HA
- What part of leave it alone do you not fucking get Harper, goodnight���MH
He threw his phone on the floor and laid down.
Maddox and Brody ran every morning before anyone else was out of bed and they hit the gym after school. Maddox always ended his time at a punching bag.
Brody stood and watched him before walking to the front desk, ���Do you offer private boxing lessons?���
���Yes, we do, Mr. Hines. Would you like me to set that up for you?��� the receptionist was nervous and fumbling trying to find the information for them behind the desk.
���A phone number would be greatly appreciated. By the way I am just a normal guy like everyone else in here,��� Brody smiled.
���Thanks, it���s just���do you know who you are?��� she laughed.
���I do.���
She handed him the paper with a name and number on it, ���He is the best. He has not been taking on new clients, but I think he would make an exception.���
CHAPTER TWO
Harper
Harper had few friends that truly knew her. She and her family had traveled since she could remember to faraway places helping to build communities in areas all over the world. Not just the typical construction of buildings, but village communities in impoverished areas.
Her father Collin would send in teams that would secure the areas near cities run by drug lords and guerrilla armies. To places that women and children were brutalized every day by boys and men who knew no different in their way of life. When it was secured, the team would bring in some of those men and boys to help build up the complexes. Turning it into a safe place to walk outside their homes. Places they could receive medical attention. They learned to grow their own food, take care of their bodies, be taught to read and write. Little things that we all take for granted every day.
Harper���s mother, Tessa, was a nurse practitioner. Tessa was in charge of the medical clinics ensuring that they were supplied and manned. She typically hand-picked three younger women to teach them all she knew. Wound care, immunizations, delivering children, amongst other medically necessary tasks. She also taught them how to take care of their homes, children, bodies and minds.
It was truly a family business. Harper���s only living grandparents, John and Maggie, spent time with them. Maggie was also a nurse and John a farmer. They helped out everywhere. So did her aunts and uncles, cousins and some close family friends. These people did not spend nearly as much time as Harper���s immediate family did when they came to help, but when they did come; Harper enjoyed watching them give of themselves selflessly.
When they left a community, they left it in the able hands of locals who could now feel safe walking out of their doors in the evening. They could watch their children play in the streets with other children. They could go to bed without worry that they would be woken up by rifle blasts or men stealing or raping their children. They were left to live and breathe with new skills and abilities giving them the capability to help others in the same way they were helped.
Harper had met so many people. She even kept in contact with at least one or two from each village through hand written letters and the occasional trips they took to visit and help out when they could.
Harper and her twin brothers, CJ and Matthew, lived a normal life. They attended school and played sports. Her brothers, we���re attending college now. Matthew was at Harvard studying international law. CJ was following in his parents footsteps. He was going to school for medicine. His desire was to become a holistic doctor. Her family owned a private plane, so there was no issues taking off for a four day weekend during the school year and helping out wherever they needed to. Tomas, their one man security team, was never far away.
Harper���s father had been raised in a living hell by a woman who was a monster. Katherine Abraham had traded her children for drugs right here in the United States. She was abusive and neglectful on her sober days. Collin did not know his father, he was pretty sure Katherine didn���t even know which of the many men in and out of his childhood home was his father. She is believed to have killed Collin���s sister and brother. Before Harper���s parents first date, Katherine escaped from a rehab after her prison sentence was up, and had plans in place to kill Collin and Tessa.
Harper���s parents had a strong marriage. Their love was true and unending. He adored her, and she adored him. Collin was very intense about everything, and Tessa was a feisty woman. He was decisive; most things were black and white to him. He admittedly knew nothing of love until he met her. They were married quickly and had the twins before their first anniversary and Harper less than a year after that were born. They were a true team and loved their life���s work and the opportunities it gave their children to see how truly blessed they were.
At home and in school it was difficult for Harper to watch her friends driving cars their parents bought for them, wearing shoes that cost more than it would take to feed an entire village, and act like they truly deserved everything they had. Harper���s home was magnificent— her bedroom fit for a princess, her wardrobe impeccable, and she had everything she could ever want and then more. She was grateful for everything she had. Her father had talked her through a breakdown when she was old enough to realize just how privileged she was.
Her Dad told her that hard work pays off and that they are taking nothing away from anyone. She wanted to know how they made money, and that���s when she found out that he also wrote papers and had a research and development team who worked on finding cures and developing drugs to help cancer patients. The money they could have easily used to pay themselves with from grants and funding they received from outside sources always went back into the communities they built. In fact, some of their family money also was used. That was also when her mother found out that the weekly pay she received was actually from Collin because he wanted her to feel like she had some control over finances. Tessa was livid, and that was the first time Harper ever heard her swear,
���So you give me a fucking allowance?��� Tessa stomped.
���Well no���I guess���Tessa our money is ours does it really matter?��� Collin pleaded.
���Yes, it matters you ass! You lied to me!��� Tessa stormed away, and they did not speak for three days.
That was also the first time Harper ever saw her father look anything less than in control and confident. She was mad at her mother for hurting his feelings. She walked down for a drink of water on that third night. Tessa was sitting on the counter, and Collin was peering up at her with his head hung low.
���I���m truly sorry, Tessa.���
���Good,��� Tessa���s voice broke.
���I never wanted you to feel trapped or like you had to depend on me. I wanted you to feel of value in all that you do for everyone,��� Collin scowled at the ground.
���What the hell makes you think I don���t?��� Tessa snapped and tried to jump of the counter.
Collin stood in front of her with his hands firmly planted on the counter trapping her without touching her, ���Your last relationship, Tessa! You hated that he
made you feel like what you worked for did not matter! I won���t have you feel like that EVER!���
Tessa scooted back against the cupboard, ���Well you are an ass! Seriously Collin, that was years ago. Get over it already!���
Tessa tried to push past him, and he did not budge, ���No I won���t. Don���t ask me to. You taught me I could love and be loved. I will spend every day of my life trying to make you as happy as you have me.���
���Still? You still feel that way you���ASS! For someone so damn smart you actually are an idiot, now get out of my way,��� Collin stepped back and held his hand to his heart and looked wounded as Tessa ran past him.
Harper felt tears burning her eyes and wanted to scream until she saw her mother walk back to him crying, ���What do I need to do, Collin, to make you realize I love you just as much? That your happiness is as important to me, as mine is to you? I am so angry with you right now. I want to leave. You just crushed me.���
Collin reached for her, and she pulled back, ���Don���t. I am going to sleep in Harper���s room tonight. What have the past twenty years been to you, Collin? I will wait for an answer. I don���t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear I want to know why. What have I done for you to even doubt? ���goodnight.���
Collin grabbed her, ���It was years ago Tessa, it���s how I felt years ago. I wanted and still want you to know every fucking day how much I value you, how much I value us, how much I love you!���
Tessa wrapped her arms around him and cried, and he held her, ���Don���t cry beautiful I can���t take it. It���ll tear me apart.���
They held each other and Harper couldn���t turn away. What she was seeing was something rare, something beautiful. Not that she didn���t know they were different from her friend���s parents, they were. In everyday interactions, she saw them search for each other in a room full of people and smile at each other. When they were working they each took time to give each other a quick hug or sweet kiss on the cheek. When either was frustrated, the other anticipated their need and filled it without even a second thought. They didn���t fight or even really discuss much except their children. They just knew what the other wanted or needed. The looks they gave each other replaced a thousand words. Something rare indeed, Harper thought as she watched them hidden against the darkened hall wall.