by Mj Fields
Fuck this sucked. Wrong choice of words but it did. How the hell do I go back in there and act like that didn���t happen? I made her throw up because I swear I just came more than I ever had in my life. I wanted to celebrate and crawl under a rock at the same time.
I heard the door shut and she was walking towards me smiling. Fucking beautiful Temptress. And it hit me; she is carrying my child, what she eats the baby eats. That thought alone made me want to hurl.
She laughed that sweet little laugh she did when we weren���t going to argue about my temperament but she wanted to tell me I was being ridiculous.
���You better get it together Rockstar; Mom wants us to come for dinner.���
I did not just imagine her exaggerating that word, know I didn���t.
���You sure you���re up to that?���
���Maddox I just threw up. My stomach is empty. I���m pregnant and hungry. So yes, I���m sure. Come on.���
I grabbed her hand as she started to walk away.
She turned towards me and looked up.
I bent and planted a kiss on her lips. She put her hands on my shoulders and then linked her fingers behind my neck.
I pried my lips off hers. ���Tell me you���re alright.���
���I���m alright Maddox. But I do need to eat something.���
���I cannot believe you got sick after������
���Maddox, I would have even if your dick wasn���t rubbing my tonsils.���
Her smile broadened and I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to hers.
���It was amazing, well before you threw up. It was fucking amazing waking up like that Harper.���
���I enjoyed it too, well before I threw up.���
���Yeah?���
���Yeah. Now let���s go eat. She made steak and I���m really hungry.���
Her voice rumbled when she said hungry and if Thumper wasn���t ashamed of himself right this moment he would want to play again.
We walked into the house and were immediately greeted by Lexington and London. They ran up and hugged us.
���I miss you.��� Lexington giggled as I picked her up.
���You miss me? How is that possible? We are staying right up the way Lexi.���
���But I don���t see you.��� She hugged my neck so tight.
I hugged her almost as tightly back.
���Well we need to fix that don���t we?���
Harper smiled as London dragged her away ranting about a spring dance that she was going to. I heard her say a boy asked her and nearly fell over.
���Lexi did London say she had a date?��� Lexi leaned back smirking and nodded her head yes. ���Well that���s not going to happen.���
���That���s what Daddy said and she told him she isn���t much younger than you were when you met Harper.���
���No, that���s different.���
Lexington laughed and I felt my blood begin to boil.
���Not really Maddox, she is thirteen now you know.���
���Thirty is the magic number Lexington. You���ll do well to remember that.���
I walked into the kitchen carrying Lexington and saw Dad scowling as he looked at the floor. Emma and Tessa were standing with Harper and London.
���He���s fourteen almost fifteen.��� London said pointing at a book. ���Cute huh? He plays piano in the school band and basketball and I think baseball.���
I looked at Dad and he was shaking his head back and forth.
���London you���re thirteen.��� I scolded her.
���Yeah? The point Maddox?��� Damn she was getting sassier.
���The point is you should be worried about school and I don���t know fu��� ponies and such.���
Harper giggled and I gave her a reproachful look which made Emma and Tessa laugh as well.
���Dad?���
���Apparently I���m outnumbered here.��� He said glowering.
���Well Lexington and I are on your side right Lexi?���
���No way, he���s really cute Maddox.���
���Lexington that���s not right.��� I scolded.
I gave Dad a look and he walked over as Lexi jumped down to go stand with the traitors. He leaned against the counter.
���You think you can let Tomas or Surge or even both watch after your fianc��e next week so we can get some writing done?���
���Possible.���
He looked at me deep in thought.
���Maddox, should we just wait until she completes school?���
���No you shouldn���t.��� I jumped when I heard Harper behind me. She laughed. ���Maddox, I���ll be fine.���
Thankfully Tessa called us all to the table so that we couldn���t argue. Or rather she wouldn���t argue a fight I was unwilling to back down from.
We were all seated at the table when Tessa cleared her throat.
���I wanted everyone to know that I will be taking a trip back to Nicaragua in a few weeks.���
I looked at Harper whose jaw dropped and chest started to rise and fall a bit faster. I reached under the table to hold her hand and she clung to it.
Tessa smiled at her and continued. ���It was a very special place to your father and me. We went when I was pregnant for the boys and again when you were just a baby. Your father always planned to build these communities up, made them self-sufficient and handed over the key so to speak to whoever was the leader at the time. It���s been taking care of itself for years and he couldn���t give it up because it had sentimental value.���
���Then keep it Mom.��� Harper���s voice was a painful plea.
Tessa swallowed and then smiled. ���We always said we would retire. Travel to wherever you three were. Enjoy our children and their children. Your Daddy was a bit nostalgic of five places in particular. Tomas and I have been in touch with all the leaders within the communities and we will be visiting each one to cut them loose.���
���No Mom, when I finish school I want to be part of that still. I want���.��� Harper stopped and looked at me. ���Maddox I���m sorry I haven���t talked about this with you but������
���Harper the decision has been made.��� Tessa looked down avoiding Harper���s disappointed expression.
���Is that what he���d want Mom?��� Harper���s voice broke and Tessa didn���t answer. ���Is it?���
���Yes Harper, I���m sure it���s exactly what he would want.��� Tessa pushed her food around. ���We aren���t walking away from the shelters, the homes and the programs we run here in the States. I would love for you to take a bigger role in the operations in state Harper if that���s what you want.���
Harper let out a quick breath. ���Of course I want that.���
The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. All except for Lexington and an occasional Londonism would come out taking the chill out of the room. She was too damn excited about the dance and I���m pretty sure she had Harper agreeing to chaperone which was her attempt at our parents not being there.
Dad and I cleaned up after he insisted Tessa sit down and enjoy Harper���s company.
���If you don���t want to leave her there I understand. Maybe we could work tomorrow. I have a few new songs ready to record. We should only need three or four more, for the tour we do some old and some new. Easy as groupies.��� I laughed and looked over at Dad. ���I like to
see you smile son.���
���Yeah I like it too.���
���Rough week?���
���Rough fucking years.���
���It���s getting better though right?���
I looked at him and saw the pain deep inside his eyes. ���Of course. Yeah every day.���
He seemed mildly content with the answer I gave him and I was happy that he was. After Harper and my conversation about me being hard on my father I realized he must feel it as well. I didn���t want that for him. I loved him too damn much for what he had done for me and I needed to be damn sure he knew it. As I have learned throughout this past few years, not everyone is perfect. I clearly had made mistakes and was forgiven, so who am I to hold anything against a man who not only gave me life but saved mine risking his own repeatedly for the ones he loved. I was also ever aware that tomorrow was not a guarantee and I better be damn sure the people I loved knew it. These people who were now my family���my family. By not only blood but by choice. Emma wasn���t my biological mother but she was more a mother than I would have ever known had she not loved my father���more. She believed in her love for him and his for her so much that there was not a question or one moment of hesitation in accepting me, trusting me, loving me.
���You alright Maddox?���
���Yeah Dad. I love you. You know that right?���
���I do Maddox and I love you. Don���t you ever doubt that?���
���I won���t.���
Dad hugged me like he had years ago and instead of feeling embarrassed I hugged him back.
I stepped back and he smiled and whispered. ���I���m gonna be a fucking grandpa.���
I smiled. ���Sure are.���
I looked over into the family room and Harper was sitting between Lexington and London looking through a bridal magazine. We still hadn���t set the date we would have the ceremony and I could hardly wait for her to become my wife. It seemed odd to me that it was so important to me to be her husband, but it was. She was already my everything, mine in every way. But as much as my mouth craved the taste of her skin, as much as I could still never feel fully connected when I wasn���t inside of her, I needed the words ���I do��� and the paper making her mine legally.
She looked up and smiled sadly. She could feel me staring. It didn���t even embarrass me anymore to get caught. I didn���t care if she or the rest of the world knew just how much she meant to me.
I walked to her light not caring that she had that pull over me. I remember when I was so fucking confused by it. I fought it with everything I was. I told myself it was dirty to feel that way about her, that I was not good enough. I nearly killed myself trying to stay away from her, for years. As I gazed down at her now her cheeks turn a faint pink. I smiled, brushed my hand across the left side of her face, and squatted down in front of her, knowing damn well I was good enough. She showed me I was. I now knew no one else could possibly be good enough for her aside from me.
���Sweetness when are we gonna do this?���
���Maddox.��� London rolled her eyes. ���When she wants. Not until then.���
���She wants, don���t ya Harper?���
���Yes I want.���
���What are we waiting for again?���
���Time?���
���Fine you have three weeks. We do this on March,��� I pulled my phone out and thumbed to the calendar. ���March 21st.���
���Yeah?��� A smile spread across her face.
���Or sooner������
���No not sooner we have to plan Maddox! I don���t know if that���s enough time.��� London stood and began to pace.
���Yeah Maddox. Not enough time.��� Lexington got up and mimicked London.
���What do we need time for little ladies?���
They both turned and looked at me as if I was insane.
���Shopping! Hair, makeup���.��� London began.
���Shoes!��� Lexington shouted and started to clap.
���She needs to be beautiful Maddox.���
���London, then I say I marry her right here and now. She is stunning, the most beautiful woman in the entire world.���
Her face turned a darker pink and she rolled her eyes.
���Sweetness, three weeks or I drag a priest to Switzerland and we do it there.��� I kissed her cheek and stood up and looked at Emma and Tessa. ���Did you here that? March 21st we are getting married. If you can���t get it together I will.���
Dad laughed and I looked back at Harper who smiled and then yawned.
���Ready to head back up and get some sleep?���
���Yeah.���
I gave her my hand and she took it. I pulled her up and into me giving her a quick kiss.
���Say our goodnights?���
She nodded her head and said goodnight to everyone.
She looked at her mother and Tessa smiled and opened her arms. Harper walked up to her and hugged her.
���I love you Harper Ann, so much.���
���I know Mom, I love you too.���
Harper turned to me and looked at me. I swear I could feel her sorrow and knew we were heading towards an emotional night.
I held out my hand and she took it and we walked to the door.
When we walked out into the chilly evening air I felt her shudder.
I fell back a step and wrapped my arms around her from behind trying to keep her warm. She looked up and gave me a little smile as we walked slowly up the path to Switzerland.
���Sweetness, look at that sunset.��� I pointed to the beautiful pink and orange sky and kissed her cheek. ���I did that for you.���
���The sunset?���
���Yes don���t sound so shocked, I intend on doing it for you ever night until I can���t anymore.���
���Thank you.���
���You are more than welcome.���
She slowed down and then came to a stop. We stood for a moment as she gazed up at the sky. She turned holding my arms in place.
���My Dad did that for Mom as well.���
���Until he couldn���t������
She finished my sentence, ���Anymore.���
I nodded my head and she stood looking up at me the way I imagined our child would as questions ran through his or her mind.
���Maddox?���
���What is it Harper? Tell me what you���re thinking.���
���Do you think she blames me?���
���Who?���
���Mom. Do you think she blames me for Dad not being here? I mean do you ever think when she���s sad that she gets angry that it was him and not me?���
I watched as tears welled in her beautiful blue eyes.
���Harper no. Not ever.���
���I did.���
Tears started to flow down her cheeks and I hugged her not knowing what to say. So I said nothing for a long time. I just held her and waited until I could no longer feel tears falling against my neck.
���Harper you need to know there is no life more valuable than yours is to me. You also should know your father felt the same way about you. You can feel that inside of you, I know you can. I didn���t know him all my life but I knew him when my life truly began. I know without question or doubt that he and your mother would have given their lives for you, so no. Not once has that crossed Tessa Abrahams mind.���
She let out a very deep breath and stood for a moment.
���I���m emotional.���
���That���s expected. Not just because of what you���ve been through but because of the little life that is growing inside of you. One that was certainly meant to be here.���
She nodded and looked at me knowing what I was implying.
���You ready to go rest now?���
���Yeah.���
���That���s good.��� I took her arms off of me, kissed her hand, turned my back and squatted. ���Climb on. You watch that sunset while I get us back home. I busted my ass to make that for you and I want you to appreciate it.���
She climbed up and held on as I started to jog up the hill into the woods.
She kissed my neck at least a dozen times and whispered, ���Thank you.���
We walked in and kicked off our shoes. Neither of us said a word as we walked into the tiny little bathroom and brushed our teeth. No words were spoken as we walked into the bedroom. She lifted her arms when I began to pull her shirt over her head.
I grabbed her pajama top and she shook her head no and then lifted my shirt. When we had slowly undressed one another she pulled the duvet down and laid on the bed.
���Beautiful,��� I whispered as I climbed in next to her.
She pulled me towards her and kissed me as she ran one hand through my hair and the other down my body. There was nothing hurried as our hands touched each other. Slow and very soft was the need I felt calling from her. I rubbed her wet slit and she moaned as she closed her eyes and relaxed onto her back. My fingers circled inside of her, she was wet and soft like silk. I continued slow very deliberate strokes, touching one of the places deep inside that made her purr as my thumb lightly rubbed her clit.
She reached up pulling me closer. She was ready and wanting me to take her at a leisurely pace we were not accustomed to. I entered her warmth as my mouth took hers. We met each other���s hips with slow deep thrusts as our tongues caressed and tasted each other at the same leisurely pace.
I felt her tighten around me and I held myself up with one hand so I could look down at her coming apart beneath me. When she was finished and had relaxed under me, I continued thrusting slowly and deeply. I pulled her pebbled little nipples into my mouth and sucked again at a slower pace. She moaned coaxing me to continue. Her hands reached around and held my ass tight against her. I lowered myself a bit, allowing my body to press against her still sensitive, still pulsing body and her eyes opened and she moaned louder.