by Mj Fields
Tears started falling down her face and she sat back and quickly wiped them away, ���Tell me. Whatever it is that���s hurting you is killing me too. Just tell me now, Collin.���
Collin looked up at her sadly, ���I knew Harper was pregnant, I knew for two weeks������
Tessa���s mouth dropped and he reached for her recoiled hand, ���What?���
���Blake told me and I didn���t know how to tell you without you going to her and������
���I���m her mother, Collin! Of course I would���ve gone to her. You knew!��� Tessa jumped off the bed and he stood and grabbed her. ���Let go of me��� now!���
���I won���t, I won���t ever,��� Collin held her to his chest.
���I���m so angry at you, so hurt,��� Tessa wiped away tears, ���She needed us, me! She had no one������
���I���m so sorry and nothing can excuse this— but Blake was there, Tessa, she wasn���t alone,��� his voice had lost its edge, his control was leaving.
���Did you do that too, Collin?��� Tessa pulled away and he held her tighter.
���Of course I did. She wouldn���t let Tomas go, she was going to be alone and I trusted him. He was qualified for the position so I pushed a little. I needed her to be safe too, Tessa.���
���You need to let go of me now, Collin. I���m getting even more pissed at you every second so just SHUT UP!��� Tessa pulled away and he let go.
She grabbed her clothes and pulled them on quickly.
���I���ll leave,��� Collin threw on his pants and then his shirt, ���I do want you to think about a couple things. First, Harper was rebelling against everything since the concert, she needed something of her own, and I needed her to tell us. Second, was Maddox really in a place at that point to deal with this? You would have talked her into telling him, he would not have come to her on his own accord and she would���ve never felt like he came there for her. Third, I love my children just as much as you do, Tessa. Just like I love you. I messed up. I was going to tell you, but I was angry and afraid of how I may come off. I was absolutely going to discuss this with you.���
Tessa looked up at him and shook her head back and forth, ���Is that all you got, Collin?���
���Yes.���
���Are you leaving or am I?���
Collin closed his eyes tightly for a moment. As he turned towards the door he whispered, ���I love you.���
Tessa threw herself on the bed and sobbed into her pillow. She was so angry at him, hurt that he kept it from her. Confused as to how he could love his child, yet still let her struggle for two minutes let alone two weeks. She dried her eyes and continued to let her mind run wild. What else had he kept from her, after all these years did she even truly know her husband? She felt sick to her stomach and ran to the bathroom and threw up. She sat on the bathroom���s cold tile floor and cried some more. Her baby, her daughter that grew inside her, was going through hell and she didn���t even know it. She washed her face and brushed her teeth and felt emotionally drained as she walked back into the bedroom, laid down and fell asleep.
Collin knelt beside the bed and watched his wife sleep. He was dying inside, he never intended on hurting her, it was quite the opposite; he tried to protect her always.
Tessa tossed and turned in her sleep, whimpering as if she were in pain. She had dreams often that caused her many restless nights. Collin rubbed her back gently trying to soothe her as he always did.
���No, no, no, no, no,��� Tessa cried as she sat up.
Collin recoiled his hand and she looked at him. She looked lost and confused and again, pain built in his chest. She jumped forward and hugged him tightly.
���It���s a dream beautiful, it���s alright,��� he held her as he stood; cradling her in his arms and sat on the bed kissing her head and rocking back and forth slowly.
Tessa���s grip finally began to loosen and she looked up at him, ���You hurt me.���
���I never intended to,��� he whispered and looked down, ���never.���
Tessa dried her eyes, ���Why? Why would you keep that from me it���s���cruel.���
���I���m going to tell you. Just so you know I���m terrified that you���ll be even more angry and hurt. That is never what I wanted, not ever Tessa,��� Collin sat back and looked at her, he closed his eyes gathering his thoughts.
���I wanted to go to her, you and me to go to her��� immediately. I sat and thought about the fact that in two weeks we would be face to face with her and I knew she would tell us then. I know you Tessa, I know if someone is hurting or struggling it tears you apart. I know you stop at nothing to help them. I knew that if I asked you to wait, your ears would���ve turned a beautiful shade of red trying your damnedest to not blow up, but you would blow up. You would have called her, and dragged it out of her and then you would have been disappointed that she didn���t tell you. It would have hurt you.��� Tessa started to object, ���No Tessa��� hear me out please. Our son CJ looks like me and acts like you. He is hot headed and very quick to jump to action. He doesn���t think before he reacts, he just does. This is why he is going to be a damn good doctor. Matthew looks like you, acts a lot like me. Everything is strategic and well planned out. He gets quiet when there���s a problem and internalizes nearly everything. Again he is going to make an amazing lawyer or business man���it will take him more time to choose which way to go. Our Harper tries to be perfect, Tessa. She tries to appease us. When something happens like the night in New York City���when she���she was hurt by him but also scared as hell that we were going to be disappointed. Sneaking to that concert at her age instead of telling us. Her road trip with Ava, she was either rebelling or trying to prove to herself that she could do it. Harper is so much like you when it comes to family. But like me when it comes to wanting to please you. She loves you, needs you, and would do whatever she could to not have you look at her with disappointment. She is a perfect blend of us. I didn���t tell you Tessa, because I wanted her to be the one to do it. I wanted your little girl to tell you first. The other thing was I needed her to make a decision that she could do this alone������
���No, she would never have to do it alone,��� Tessa tried to get up.
���Hold up Tessa, I meant without Maddox, not you. If he hadn���t wanted to change, if he had ���this could���ve been very ugly, Tessa. You would have lost Emma and the girls.���
���He loves her I knew that from the first time I saw them together, it would not have������
���He wasn���t ready. He thought he was, but he wasn���t. I knew that, I don���t doubt my actions, Tessa. I feel badly about it, but I don���t������
���What else have you not told me, Collin? What else do you not trust me with?��� Tessa was getting angry again.
Collin took a deep breath, ���Tessa, if I tell you everything, I know you ��� you can���t try to fix it all. I truly believe that������
���You don���t trust me!���
���That���s not what I said, Tessa. Please understand that������
Tessa pulled away and stood up, ���I���m done������
Collin sprung to his feet, ���NO! What the hell is that supposed to mean, Tessa? Never mind. Apparently you never truly loved������
���WHAT? You are such an ass, Collin; I���m done with this conversation, you���you…ASS!���
Collin grabbed her and pulled her against him, �
��I told you over twenty years ago that you could crush me, Tessa, and that has not changed. I. LOVE. YOU. I would never fucking hurt you.���
���Don���t I ���don���t��� Tessa began to cry again.
���I���m fucking this up and all I wanted to do was protect you and our children and���you don���t trust me?���
Tessa stepped back and looked into his eyes, ���You hide things from me about������
���Sit, I���ll tell you everything about our kids,��� Tessa sat and looked up at him sadly.
���I do love you Collin, so please stop looking at me like you���re afraid,��� Tessa wiped her eyes. Collin stepped towards her and she held her hand up stopping him, ���I���m angry at you. But I love you.���
Collin stood with his hands in his pockets and his head hung, ���CJ goes out with different girls all the time. He never stays with them for more than a week. Matthew has been���Tessa you can���t tell them any of this, if they know we can���t keep them safe. They will start to pull away we will lose them.���
���I���m not an idiot, Collin,��� Tessa snapped.
���I know you���re not. Damn it���Matthew slept with his ���this is not easy to talk to you about Tessa. They are boys and������
���Spill it,��� Tessa closed her eyes.
���Matthew had a two year fling with his law professor���s assistant. She moved back to her hometown and got back together with her high school boyfriend. Matthew followed her to tell her he cared and she told him no. He was hurt but got through it,��� Collin peeked up through his lashes at Tessa, her jaw was dropped, ���Do you want to talk about it? With me Tessa, not them or it will������
���What else do you know?���
���Ava Links slept with Liam for a while and then Luke Lane,��� Collin grimaced.
���She did?��� Tessa gasped.
���Yep and ������ Collin stopped
���Go on,��� Tessa looked at him wide eyed and he shook his head from side to side.
���I can���t���Tessa I can���t lose you,��� Collin���s hands fisted at his sides.
���You aren���t going to, but it doesn���t mean I can���t be pissed. Spill it,��� Tessa crossed her arms over her chest.
���I���m not one hundred percent sure about this and I swear to God above, Tessa, that if this causes problems for us, if you leave me for him������
���What the hell are you talking about, Collin?���
���I���m pretty sure that Ashley Links has been having an affair since the winter before Harper and Ava���s prom,��� Collin took a deep breath and looked up at Tessa.
Her face was expressionless.
���Say something here, Tessa,��� Collin���s voice trembled.
Tessa grabbed his face, ���I���m tired.���
���That���s it?��� Collin asked in a somewhat angry tone.
���What do I say to that? I mean really what do I say?���
She started to climb into bed and he stood looking at her nervously, ���What are you feeling? At least tell me that.���
���I feel bad for Ava and Logan, and yes I feel badly for Lucas. I think Ashley is an idiot, he loves her. When he finds out������
���You can���t tell him, Tessa.���
���I won���t, it���s not my place,��� Tessa closed her eyes, ���It���s going to crush him.���
���And he���ll come after you, Tessa,��� Collin growled.
���No he won���t, it���s been twenty years and we are friends, you���re his friend. Lucas wouldn���t do that to you, Collin. He may have treated girls badly back then, but he has bromance issues so just get that out of your head and figure out how YOU are going to tell him,��� Tessa laid down expecting him to lie next to her.
���I won���t tell him,��� Collin said, ���It isn���t my place.���
Tessa turned around and looked at him, ���Would you want to know Collin? If I was out screwing around wouldn���t you want Lucas to tell you?���
���I would know,��� Collin whispered.
���Alright stalker, but he doesn���t,��� Tessa yawned, ���You���re going to have to find a way to at least lead him to it, Collin. I���m tired and pissed at you and I���m going to bed.���
Tessa covered up and looked back, Collin stood looking at her, ���Well goodnight then, Tessa, I���m sorry, and I love you.���
Collin began walking away, ���Come to bed, Collin,��� Tessa pulled the covers back, ���Just understand that I���m hurt, and you may never ������ her voice broke.
���Come here beautiful,��� Collin pulled her into his arms and held her until she fell asleep.
Maddox walked into London���s room and looked for Harper; she���d fallen asleep with London earlier. She wasn���t in the room. He tucked London in, and kissed her head. When he turned around Harper was standing in the doorway.
���Hello,��� Maddox said looking at Harper���s smiling face.
���Hi,��� Harper walked into his arms and hugged him.
He chuckled lightly and held her, ���You were sleeping so soundly.���
Harper giggled, ���Your parents are loud.���
Maddox pulled back and looked at her, ���So are yours.���
���No way,��� Harper giggled.
���Yes, I���m sure your father will be barefoot in the morning,��� Maddox kissed her, ���I would like to be as well.���
���You remember the barefoot thing?��� Harper smiled with a look of confusion on her face.
���I told you I remember everything Harper. Well, all except some of the last night we spent the night here. I would love a do over,��� Maddox���s fingertips grazed her check.
Her hand covered his and she pushed her cheek into it, ���Aren���t you tired?��� She pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed his fingertips.
He slowly shook his head back and forth, ���No, sweetness. Tired isn���t what I���m feeling right now?���
���No?��� Harper took his middle finger in her mouth and swirled her tongue around it causing Maddox to moan.
���Let���s go,��� his voice was deep and his eyes full of desire.
Harper turned and pushed her back against him still holding his hand to her mouth, still teasing him with her tongue. His free hand reached around her and slowly moved under her shirt and he grabbed her breast as he kissed her neck and groaned as his finger lightly skimmed over her erect nipple.
Harper arched her back, pushing her breasts into his hand and reached over her shoulder while she grabbed a handful of his dark silky hair. He nipped her neck and licked it and groaned against her skin causing her body to shudder and a million tiny goose bumps to spread over her body.
���Unbelievable,��� she whispered as they reached the door.
Harper turned around and Maddox kicked the door shut behind him and reached back locking the door, ���Come here, sweetness.���
Harper looked down at his blue plaid cotton pajama pant bottoms and saw his erection pressed against them. She licked her lips and looked up at him.
���See something you like, Sweetness?��� Maddox reached over and pulled the bottom of her shirt swiftly over her head, ���Look at those tits, unbelievable.���
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Harper reached down and released him from his pants and stroked him slowly back and forth. His head bowed and he took her breast in his mouth; he sucked as she stroked him.
She stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed and licked her lips, ���Come���here.���
His brows shot up in mock shock and a sly grin lifted in the corner of his mouth. He reached down his pants, pulled himself free, and slowly walked towards her as she chewed on her bottom lip. He chuckled deeply as she grabbed him and pulled him into her mouth.
His hands fisted in her hair and he watched her take him in her mouth as deeply as she could. ���Awe fuck, Sweetness.���
Maddox���s head fell to the side and his mouth gaped as he breathed in slowly. Harper looked up at his steamy sapphire blue, now almost black, eyes. He looked so hot; she took him further and faster. The sounds coming from his mouth, his throat, from him, made her so hot she almost lost it.
���Sweetness, unless you want a mouthful of our future children you better���Why the hell did you bite me?��� Maddox jumped back and held himself. He looked down and laughed ���Sweetness, now you have pissed off Thumper, look he���s retreating.��� He turned her face to him.
Harper looked up at him expressionless, ���You���re not going without me.��� Harper stood and he tried to grab her elbow and she pulled away. ���I���m going with you tomorrow.��� She grabbed her shirt and threw it over her head and handed him his shirt and pointed to the door.
Maddox���s mouth fell open and he very slowly pulled his pants up as he watched her try to pull her eyes away from his hard and growing penis. He smirked as he watched her eyeing him still biting her lip.
���Harper, I proposed to you today,��� Maddox stood and slowly stalked towards her and she turned away, ���Everyone knows how I feel about you, that we love each other. Everyone we love knows you feel the same.���
Maddox grabbed her from behind by the hips and pulled her towards him. His fingers automatically sprawled across her belly rubbing gently as he pulled her firmly against him.