“You’re up to something, little sister.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. I’ll be by tomorrow to tackle that mess. Love you.” I booked it out of there before she really got suspicious.
It was only after I stepped out onto the sidewalk and looked from left to right that I realized I was stranded. Easton had picked me up yesterday, and we never went back to my place. I got so wrapped up in him that I completely forgot I didn’t have my darn car.
Standing there, I debated walking a couple of blocks to grab something to eat. Even though I had a strong dislike for coffee and the smell, there was the coffee shop I could slip into and have a cup of tea. That wouldn’t really help my lack of transportation, though. I could go back to the flower shop and see if Easton wouldn’t mind giving me a ride home. I headed to the coffee shop, deciding that if I passed the flower shop and saw Easton was busy, I wouldn’t bother him.
I didn’t see him anywhere in the shop as I passed, and I let out a deep sigh.
Tea it was.
An older gentleman held the door, and I stepped into the coffee shop. I thanked him and refrained from holding my breath. The sooner I let the smell get to me, the quicker I would be immune to it. I wrinkled my nose and scanned the board, searching for the list of teas.
“Mornin’, what can I get started for ya?”
“Good morning. Could I get a medium Earl Grey Latte and a blueberry cream cheese square, please?” I pressed my finger against the glass case, pointing to the blueberry square.
“Gosh, those are to die for.” She smiled, holding her black marker. “Can I get your name for the order, please?”
“Lilly.”
“Thanks, Lilly. We’ll get these ready.”
I handed her a ten and told her to keep the change then looked around for an open seat.
For midmorning, the place seemed to be pretty consistent with people coming in and out. The surrounding tables were half full, and a few people occupied the cozy book corner of the shop. This really was a cute little place, and I couldn’t believe I let my dislike for coffee steer me away from coming in sooner. It was quaint and cozy, and honestly, I could barely make out the coffee aroma any longer.
A minute later, my dessert and tea were delivered, and I didn’t hesitate to dig in. After the first bite, I had deemed it the best dang thing I had ever tasted. The combination of blueberry, cream cheese, and shortbread settling on my tongue had me thinking I just had a food orgasm.
Taking a second bite, I closed my eyes and thought about Leeza and her giving me scalp orgasms. I giggled to myself then jumped when I heard someone very close to me clear their throat. Upon opening my eyes, rustic honey-colored ones stared back at me with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
“Taste good, Sunshine?” He sat back.
I chewed the last bit of the pastry I had in my mouth and felt a dull ache between my thighs. Just the sight of him made me crazy hot and in need of him.
Is it normal to react like this?
I swallowed hard, took a sip of my tea latte, and asked, “What are you doing here? I thought you had work to do?”
“I do, but I needed caffeine first. Someone wore me out,” he answered, sporting a dirty grin that made my leg itch to kick him from under the table. That was a normal reaction.
Yeah, well you wore me out, too, buddy.
“What about you? I thought you were going to see your sister?” He brought his cup to his mouth, and I couldn’t resist watching the way his lips caressed the rim. The tip of his tongue touched the hot liquid, and he flexed his muscles, insinuating the paper cup weighed a ton. When he finally took a full sip, he winked.
Taking it one step further, he brushed his finger on my thigh, slowly inching higher. My breath caught, the tingles erupted all over my body, and I hated that he looked so calm and collected. Easton knew exactly what he was doing. From the second he sat in the seat across from me, he knew exactly what he had in mind.
He brushed a few more passes, and I could feel my breathing turn labored. Easton gave me a cheeky grin and stood. “I need to get back to work.”
I scoffed silently. What the hell? Was it his intention to get me all worked up and leave me hanging?
He held his hand out. “Did you want me to give you a ride home first?”
Before dropping me off, Easton and I made plans to have dinner again, but once five o’clock rolled around, I called and canceled. Oddly, I wasn’t feeling up to it and decided I needed a little time to myself.
In a matter of weeks, Easton and I had gone from acquaintances to something I had no idea how to put a label on. Being in his space made the world around me simply melt away, but back in my own home—alone—I was at a loss, and Tyler was all I could think about.
My mind began questioning my heart, wanting to know if there was room enough for both Tyler and Easton. Then I asked myself if it was too soon to even be having those kinds of thoughts, let alone feelings.
When I heard him whisper that I would never have another, initially it left me puzzled. Easton’s a nice guy and there was a good chance he said it only to make me feel better after having sex with him.
“Ughh!” I kicked off my blanket and threw a light sweater on before heading to the kitchen. Navigating my way through the dark, I made it through the house without incident and in one piece. Pulling the refrigerator door open, I squinted, letting my eyes adjust to the tiny bright light before grabbing the first thing my eyes landed on—wine. With the bottle in one hand, I swiped my phone from the counter and made my way out back. As I stood on the back porch, staring off into the distance, I let my mind drift.
Before I realized what I was doing, I had already began wandering the massive open space of the property, scuffing my flip-flops against the blades of grass in hopes of clearing my mind, even if it was only for a minute or two. I didn’t want to think. When the leaves rustled and the smell of honeysuckle filled my nose, I took a deep breath and looked to the heavens.
The stars were sprinkled at least a mile wide and in my attempt to think of anything other than Tyler and Easton, I walked and counted the twinkling little lights, all while using the moon to guide my way. Little did I think the bright beam would guide me all the way to the dock. The one place I hadn’t visited since Tyler left.
Standing at the edge of the wooden plank, I allowed myself to get lost in the calm of the water and the stillness around me. It wasn’t until my eyes sought out the overgrown Yellowwood tree that flashbacks of the two of us hit me hard. All the nights we hung out there parked in his truck, planning and mapping out our lives—together. All the stupid things we did, drunk and sober. To some of the worst arguments that led to the best make-up sex. A tear slipped and that was when the weight of it all had me questioning if I had any strength left.
Was it wrong to have just spent the night with one man and the next night be consumed with the memory of another?
I slipped out of my flip-flops and sat on the edge, dangling my legs just above the water, letting my toes skim the lukewarm surface. I looked around, thinking how this place had a long list of memories—too many to sort through and way too painful to reminisce. Abandoning my heavy thoughts, I let my head fall back, huffing out a frustrated sigh toward the twinkling night sky.
“I like him.” Another tear slid down my cheek, and I didn’t bother wiping it away. “Is it wrong? Are you upset?” I waited like I always did, hoping he would somehow answer me. “Did you send him? Are you trying to play matchmaker from up there?” Something in my heart confirmed he was.
Easton had so many similarities to Tyler that it could very well be true. Easton and I shared an instant connection—or so I thought. And there was no way Tyler would easily agree to my being with another man and not have any say in it. He had to have had a hand in it. Right?
“Was it your intention to make my dreams come true, then rip them right from under me?” My face felt hot. There I went, switching between happy and pissed off. “Do you really t
hink another man would stick by my side, knowing I was carrying another man’s child? A dead man’s child?” I wanted to scream. To punch the air in front of me—but I didn’t. “Why! Why would you do this to me, Tyler?” My anger didn’t last too long before the guilt found a way to snake through and suffocate me.
I let my head fall to the side and stared at the glistening water below me. The reflection of a star twinkling from above had me looking up in time to see it give one final glimmer then sputtered out. I gripped the wooden planks at my side and a sob broke through my chest. “I love you, Tyler, but I don’t want to be alone.”
I sat there in a mess of tears, thinking of all I had lost and all that still remained. Going back and forth between missing him and learning about Easton. I told myself, I had to give this an honest chance. I would probably stumble along the way, but I had to try.
My phone buzzed beside me, and I wondered who could be texting me in the middle of the night.
Easton: are you awake?
Unmoving, I sat there staring at his name on the screen. Was he thinking about me? Did he miss me? This had to be another sign, right? There was only one way to find out.
Me: I’m awake. What are you doing up so late?
His reply was immediate.
Easton: I can’t stop thinking about you. Can I call you?
Me: Yes.
Within seconds, my phone rang. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Can’t sleep.” He paused. “These sheets, they smell like you.” His voice was low and husky, and my heart fluttered at his admission. “What are you doing up so late? Couldn’t sleep, either?”
“Something like that.”
“Where are you right now?”
“Outside. Staring up at the stars,” I replied honestly.
“Wish I was there with you.” He cleared his throat. “Lilly . . .”
“Yeah, Easton?”
“I’m glad you decided to give me a chance. I know you miss him, but I’m here for you, anything you need.”
“Thank you.” I paused, needing to get my words straight. “What are we?”
“Cut right to the chase why don’t you?”
“It’s just . . . I thought I heard you say something last night that hasn’t left my mind, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“Lilly, when I said you’d never have another, I meant it. I’m not the kind of guy who needs to keep his options open. You’re my only option.”
Hmm. I liked his answer. Considering it was a lot to take in, I was probably going to mull over his words and make myself bat shit crazy.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“I know we haven’t known each other that long, but there’s something there, and I won’t let anything jeopardize it.”
I smiled, and my heart felt light. I wanted to give this thing between us a fair chance, too, and since we were on the same page, I felt slightly at ease.
“Then there’s the way you work that tongue of yours.” I cringed then laughed lightly, appreciating how he knew when to change the mood from heavy to playful.
“Yeah, you did some crazy things to me, too.”
“Well, what can I say? I am the male version of that saying, ‘A lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed’.”
I burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, staring at my reflection in the water below me. It had been some time since I’d witnessed a smile that big cross my face.
“That is the most ridiculous—” I continued laughing. “I’m sorry, but you really are horrible with your corny lines.”
“And here I thought that was my best one yet.” He chuckled, but I couldn’t quite make out if it was more of an amused laugh or the fact that he was trying to cover up a bruised ego. I remained silent, but the dead air between us might have given him a misconstrued warning sign.
Easton cleared his throat and owned up to his craziness, “Hey, it was meant to be a joke. Truthfully, that was pretty ridiculous.” I bowed my head, thankful he wasn’t offended. “Your laugh, though. It’s the best sound in the world,” he spoke candidly, and this time, I didn’t laugh. I couldn’t. His words were sincere, and I felt the gravity of them way down deep. Corny lines aside, his last words meant something.
“I love listening to your voice. It calms me,” I admitted without any forethought.
“Good to know, Sunshine.” He yawned.
“Am I boring you already?”
“Not at all. Your voice did the opposite in fact. You soothe me, Lilly, but hell, you burn me up, too.” He paused, and I took that moment to get my racing heart under control. My body awoke with desire from hearing him admit to the kind of affect I had on him. “I don’t know how you do it. I feel like a totally different person when I’m around you.”
“I know the feeling.” I smiled, thinking how off balance I’d felt lately. Was it wrong? Was I moving too fast? Should I be following a timeline for grieving widows? I had no idea, but being this was somewhat Tyler’s idea, I shoved my uncertainty aside.
“Lilly?” His voice shifted to a low and gravelly sound, which resulted in my stomach doing a little flip.
“Yes?”
“I’m really looking forward to our date this weekend.”
“I am, too.” cI got up and stepped into my flip-flops. “Easton?”
“Yes.”
“Our date, can we keep it simple?”
Dating felt new and foreign to me. I didn’t want to rush it any more than we already had. Which was strange to say since we had done things backward and had already had sex.
“Of course. Simple I can do.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I can’t wait. ”
On my short stroll back, Easton and I continued with the easy banter and light conversation, which I was thankful for. I hadn’t realized just how close I was to an absolute breakdown until the panic and guilt were gone. Well, not gone, but lessened. I made myself crazy thinking I might be doing something wrong or making the wrong choices. Then Tyler’s words telling me I had to move on reminded me that maybe what I had going on with Easton wasn’t so wrong after all.
Easton and I said good night, and I looked to the heavens one more time and whispered, “No matter what, I’ll always love you,” before walking inside and locking the door behind me.
“Hi, Mrs. Wilkes.” I walked into the flower shop just as she was getting ready to lock up. My eyes wandered around the showroom, which was back to being neat and tidy, a huge difference from the cluttered mess.
“Hello, Lilly. How are you?”
“Good, thank you.”
“Are you here to see Easton?” She secured the lock then gave me a polite smile, but I swear I could read her mind.
Yup. I know you two have been shacking up. Girl, I’m gonna tell your mama.
I pushed past the blush that was threatening to burn my cheeks and display the word guilty across my forehead.
“I am. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not, now why would I mind?” She ushered me toward the staircase, and I couldn’t help but wring my hands together. I had no reason to feel nervous. I knew this woman from the minute I was born, so it wasn’t as if she didn’t have a ringside seat to my antics as a child. “He’s up there waiting on you. Although, I thought he said something about going by to pick you up?”
“Yes, ma’am. I just thought I would save him the trouble. I didn’t have much going on at home.”
“Well, he’s up there.” She patted my arm. “I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you. Can you let him know that I’ve locked up and am heading home?”
“I will.” I smiled one last time, snapped a quick glance up the stairs, and fought the urge to run and hide. I hope she wasn’t thinking we were doing “things,” even though we were doing “things,” or had done “things.”
I have to give it a rest. I’m an adult, who is also currently single and allowed to do “things.”
Staring at my sandals, I c
limbed the stairs full of excitement and the never ending case of nerves coursing through me. The music grew louder as I neared the top, and before knocking, I waited. Listening and trying to make out the words to the song, it finally came to me. It was definitely an older song—from a different generation—more like my parents.
Knowing he probably wouldn’t hear me knock, I turned the knob, smiled because it wasn’t locked, and gently pushed the door in. The sight before me had me giggling softly while my core melted, warming me from the inside out.
Easton stood shirtless with his back to me, hips shaking in tune with the beat. Quietly, I closed the door then leaned back against it, appreciating all of him. From the way his muscles flexed to that deliciously lean waist.
He had a carefree and silly side, which I adored. This was where I found the slight variances between Tyler and Easton. While they shared similar outer attributes that I keenly appreciated, it was their inner qualities that somewhat varied.
Tyler leaned more toward the alpha, protector type of man. He’d never hesitate to get dirty and he loved hard—with his entire being. It was his frustrations and the way he presented them that were hard to handle, whereas, Easton portrayed an easy-going and carefree air. He didn’t seem to be the type to live on the edge. He wore his heart on his sleeve, leaving me not having to guess so much.
Barry Gibb’s voice came to an end, and I clapped, giving him a standing ovation and a weak, “Bravo!”
Easton spun around, eyes wide and startled by the intrusion. When he realized it was me, he smiled, pushed his chest out, and started to strut toward me lip-syncing as “Stayin’ Alive” played.
“Easy there, Travolta.” I laughed and then bit the side of my lip. “You like how I strut my stuff?” He joked, his cocky grin growing by the second.
My body tingled, and I almost groaned in disappointment when he grabbed his T-shirt from the back of the couch and slipped it over his head in one slick motion.
In two long strides, we stood inches apart. Easton snaked his warm arm around my waist, his eyes locked on mine the entire time. “You’re drooling, Sunshine.” He brushed his thumb in the corner of my mouth, acting as if he were wiping the imaginary saliva, and I laughed.
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