“Nate thought you and I were together,” I admitted, feeling the air get sucked out of the car. “And he wouldn’t let it go.”
If it is possible to go pale and flushed at the same time, that’s was Felix’s face did. He didn’t look at me, just kept staring out at the traffic. He took a steadied breath and said, “There’s something I need to tell you. I tried to tell you the night of the dance.”
“It’s okay, Felix.”
“No, my dad was worried about you thinking…”
I tried to preempt the “let down easy” he thought he needed to do. “Felix, you don’t need to worry about that.”
“No, I do. My dad thinks we’ve been spending so much time together that you might think…I have feelings for you.”
Oh gosh. Stop. “Felix—stop.”
“Don’t get upset. Let me finish.”
“Felix!” I raised my voice. “I know you’re not interested me. It’s okay.”
“I don’t want you to feel rejected though. You are really gorgeous and smart and funny—”
I put my hand on his arm. “Felix. It’s okay. I know you’re gay.”
He swerved abruptly and stopped the car on the shoulder of the road so fast that we almost spun out. He looked at me with wild eyes that were mixed with confusion and surprise, and he looked as if he couldn’t breathe.
“I’m not gay!” he exclaimed finally. “How did you know?”
I cocked my head to the side. “I’m confused. You’re not?”
“How did you know?”
“Apparently, I didn’t know anything, because you just said you’re not.”
“I’m not!” He was exasperated.
“I’m so confused,” I said, shaking my head in bewilderment.
He turned the car off and shifted in his seat to face me. I tucked one leg under me and did the same. He took a deep breath. He was about to tell me all the surprises he thought he was guarding so well.
“It’s not that I’m attracted to boys. I’m not. At least I don’t think.”
“So…you’re not gay?” I clarified.
“Just let me get through this. It’s complicated.” I nodded, and he continued, “I also don’t feel attracted to girls. I just don’t have any interest either way.”
A small smirk tugged at my mouth, and I fought it but couldn’t seem to help it. He looked surprised and curious at my forming reaction.
“So…you’re asexual?” I let my smile all the way out and teased him, hoping it would put him at ease and break the tension. He laughed.
“Yes, Avery. I’m a coldblooded Komodo dragon.” He glared at me mischievously.
I giggled and covered my mouth.
“I know it sounds bizarre, but it’s as if I’m not sexual at all.”
“It’s not bizarre. It sounds kind of nice actually. Not having to worry about all of that. Nate said that girls and boys couldn’t be just friends. And I said that they could. If only everything wasn’t so darn romantic, they could be. And see, it works this way.”
“Shut up. You’re just mocking me.”
“No, I’m not. Not to get all biblical on you, but, in the Bible, Paul the apostle talks about how it would be better if a man could remain unmarried and that he should only really get married if he couldn’t take the sexual pressure and purity. So, I think that maybe it’s not bizarre; it’s a blessing. You can actually think objectively instead of with your hormones.”
“You make me sound like a robot.”
“I don’t mean to.”
“My dad is thinking of having a lot of tests run to see if there’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Felix,” I said, reaching for his hand.
“Well, he thinks so,” he mumbled as something sad flashed across his eyes that he didn’t speak but I saw.
“Well, I’m sorry he makes you feel wrong or broken. Would it be better or worse for him if you were one or the other?”
“Tough question.” He shrugged.
“I know.”
He paused for a moment and turned the car back on. “So, you thought I was gay? And that was ok?”
I smiled at him without missing a beat and answered, “Let me put it this way: you’re a human and my friend first and foremost. Even if you were gay, we’d still be friends.”
“You’re one of a kind, Avery Brave Nightingale,” Felix said with amazement in his voice as he drove off the shoulder and headed for my house.
As I got out of the car, I leaned back in the window. “Tell your parents that it’s my fault their burgers are cold now.”
“They won’t mind. My Dad will be glad that we finally talked about all this.”
“I appreciate that he cares about me feeling misled.”
“Yep. He’s Colonel Cares-a-lot,” he said facetiously.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Hey! It’s birthday-Wednesday tomorrow. What are we doing?”
I shrugged. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it.
“Well, we’ll live it up. For sure. You only turn 16 once! See ya tomorrow.”
As I went inside, I checked my phone and saw that I had three missed calls. Two from Nate, no doubt feeling guilty for the way he’d acted at the restaurant, and one from what I recognized as a gym pay phone, which Carol used to call me from when she had volleyball practice before she owned a cellphone. Who would be calling from the school? Especially this late in the day?
I ignored all the texts and went inside to call Carol and tell her everything, wishing desperately she could be here for my birthday.
My dark corner was filled with balloons the next morning, which made it rather cheery instead of dark. But by first track, I’d been called to the office because of them. They were a “fire hazard” and got confiscated until after school. Typical.
“Mr. Hickham is just sticking it to you on your birthday, you know,” Felix teased as we walked down the hall.
“Yeah. He really got me.” I nudged him. “Thanks for the balloon entourage, though. Super great start to my birthday.”
“More to come, birthday girl.”
“You spoil me, good sir!” I shouted after him. When I turned back to go in the classroom, Mr. Knight and Nate were standing at the end of the hall, pensively waiting on me. They motioned for me to join them. This doesn’t look like birthday fun.
“Avery, we need to talk,” Mr. Knight said vaguely and ushered us both into his classroom. “Have a seat.”
“What’s this about, Mr. Knight?”
“Rumors are going around, Avery.”
“Rumors always go around. This is high school,” I retorted. Nate shot me a look.
“Well, these rumors are that you have a theory about a certain assistant coach/principal and are trying to investigate that theory.”
“How do these gossips even know about that to be able to spread said rumors?” I shot Nate the same look he’d just given me. “But, for the record, I don’t have a complete theory just yet.”
“Now, don’t blame it all on Nate. Though he did come to me out of concern, I’d already heard it from several others.”
How?
“Am I doing anything against the law or school policy?”
“No, just dangerous. And questionable.”
“What’s dangerous? To me, what is potentially happening with Mr. Hickham is what is dangerous. And Ace Wentworth is dangerous.”
“Exactly. Wait—what does Ace have to do with this? No, you know what? Don’t tell me that. You don’t want to get caught in the crossfire of whatever is going on just for the sake of the story.”
“And,” Nate chimed in, “you couldn’t verify any of this theory unless you got really involved. And that could be risky. Plus, we really just need to report this. I’m surprised you haven’t before now.”
I stood up from my desk and pointed out the door. “Guys, are you telling me that, if an adult is involved with teens in any sort of inappropriate manner, and other stud
ents are blackmailing other students, it’s not our responsibility to expose that and help bring him to justice?”
“No, just that you need to leave it to the proper authorities,” Mr. Knight corrected calmly.
“And, what, I’m not capable of solving this before handing it to said authorities?” I raised my voice a little. “What…because I’m a girl? Or because I’m a student? Because either way, that is offensive. And I know that we need to turn this over to the authorities; I’m not just not sure of any of it yet. I want to be sure before we do.”
“Is this about last year?” Nate asked cautiously.
“Maybe,” I answered before I fully realized what he’d asked. I looked down at my hands, which had been wringing, and digested what he was asking. “Yes,” I said finally. “I suppose it does. I was a victim of injustice last year even though I had proof. I was the proof. So, I’m hesitant to run to the police and the law again.”
They both stared at me blankly for several moments before Mr. Knight replied, “You’re right, Avery Brave. Just give me some time to think this through before you move any further on it. We’re going to have to go about this in a very delicate way. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said with relief. They weren’t quite supportive, but they were at least not trying to talk me out of it anymore—and at least we all knew why I was so adamant about this. Especially me.
Nate nodded but didn’t meet my eyes. I had never returned his call, and apparently now we were both upset with each other.
I agreed to do as Mr. Knight asked and give him some time before I dug any further, but I couldn’t help it if I overheard anything else, now, could I? But I wasn’t going to camp out in the bathroom to see if I could catch Sylvie in there. Today was my birthday, and I intended to have fun.
But first, I wanted to go look at the phone in the gym and maybe find a clue as to who would have called me.
I slipped into the gym and tried not to clip-clop down the stairs of the stands. The payphone was on the opposite wall from the coach’s office. I listened to the herd of cleats exit the locker room, followed by the sound of Nate’s crutches. I waited along the corner till the room was still.
The payphone was black and looked like it weighed a hundred pounds. The coin return was empty, and the receiver was clean. I looked around and tried to gauge the distance between all the closest doors and studied the floor for any dropped scraps or threads.
“Look who came looking for me.” Ace’s gravely whisper froze me in place and sent a rippling, radiating shiver through my body. I forced my body to spin on my heel and face him, my face blank as a stone but my blood pumping.
“Got my message, I see.”
He called? “Message?” I said coldly.
“You came, didn’t you? I knew you’d come.”
This was trap. I need to get out of here, I thought with alarm. How can I away from him? I started planning my escape, knowing I couldn’t get up all the stand stairs fast enough. The loading door was up and was probably the closest door, though I’d have to go fast to get away and close enough to yell for help.
“I didn’t know it was you, Ace. I wouldn’t be here if I had known.”
“Oh. I see how you’re playing it now. The queen is coy, is she?”
“No,” I said, starting to panic as he took a step closer.
“You’re bold to come in the gym alone after school looking for, what…clues? Or did you come looking for something more, maybe?”
“Don’t come any closer, Ace Wentworth.”
“What are you going to do? Cry wolf again? Like you did at the dance? I’d like to see you try that again. See what happens. Oh, wait—nothing. Like the time before. Like last year. Who are they going to believe?”
My fists tightened, not out of aggression but out of necessity. I needed to force my courage to kick in and help me run. My heart raced, and my breath was thin and rapid. I did feel powerless, but I wished for the power to enforce. I envied the strength to demand justice. I craved the leverage to ruin him.
My fists tightened more, and my nails dug into my hand. I couldn’t fight him effectively; I didn’t know how. But I felt like it. And I knew I needed to run.
Now.
I spun on my heel again and accidentally crow-hopped a little before bolting across the gym.
“You can’t outrun me, Nightingale!” he shouted after me.
I got to loading door faster that I’d thought I could and jumped down, landing on my feet and sprinting around the front of the school, not checking to see if Ace had followed.
Ace had called. He wanted to rattle me. It worked, I thought, trying to slow my breathing but instead starting to cry. But when I was sure I’d lost him, I stopped running. I had managed to out run Ace which was something I didn’t think I was capable of. But that wasn’t the point, I shook my head and cleared my throat. I refused to let him get to me. I refused to cry about it.
Ace wanted to rattle me. And I doubted it was just about last year. He was more involved than I thought. Maybe Mr. Knight was right; maybe I did need to be careful. And yet, I was on to something here.
And I was done feeling powerless.
“Guess you don’t need a ride now,” Felix said, checking out my new-to-me land cruiser.
“Nope,” I said, happy as a lark. My mother had arranged for Felix to come for dinner and had set a place at the table for Carol on Facetime, which she still didn’t understand. We’d watched my favorite movie in our theater room complete with popcorn and candy and slushies. And then, my Dad surprised me with a car in the driveway. It was a perfect birthday, and I was glad I got to spend it both physically and digitally with my best friends.
I said goodnight to Mom and Dad and thanked them for a great sixteenth birthday, then flopped on my bed. I smiled, thinking back over the fun things Felix had done for me that day. I’d gotten the balloons back at the end of the day, and they were now tied to my desk chair in my room. He’d had flowers delivered at lunch along with a cake, and he’d had the choir sing “Happy Birthday” over the intercom.
But reliving the fun from today was interrupted by my phone vibrating. It was Nate.
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL FOR DAYS.
I KNOW
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
I KNOW.
FELIX INVITED ME TONIGHT BUT I FIGURED YOU WOULDN’T WANT ME THERE
OH
ANYWAYS, SORRY. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY
THANKS
NIGHT, AVERY BRAVE
NIGHT
“I’m just surprised you’d invite him, that’s all.”
“But you’re not mad?” Felix clarified while I tried to get my locker open.
“No, just surprised.”
“Is that all he said?” Felix prodded.
I finally heard the latch unlock, and I opened the door. “Yeah, should he have said something more?”
A folded piece of paper fell out of my locker, which must have been why the door was sticking.
“A note? How very old-school of someone. And no, I was just curious how far this text conversation went.”
I gave Felix a “that’s stupid” look and unfolded the piece of paper. In black marker, the words looked auspicious and angry with a hard slant that put indentions in the paper with the start of each new word.
I showed it to Felix, who read it aloud but quietly: “Quit while you can. You have NO idea what you’re getting into.”
His mouth made a silent “wow,” and he handed the note back to me. Someone was threatening me, but who? Ace again? Most likely, after the other day. I quickly went down my mental list of all the people that knew about the alleged blackmail. Mr. K., Mr. H., Nate, Ace, Sylvie…
“You okay?”
I was lost in thought and forgot we needed to get to class. “Oh. Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about who it could be from.”
“You’re not worried, though?”
“No, not really. I mean, I was scared the other day in the gym—but I’m done
being afraid. Maybe it means I’m on the right track?”
“Or maybe it just means Ace is a bully. AB, you scare me.”
“In a fierce kind of way or in a clown kind of way?”
“Don’t even talk about clowns! That’s just mean. Now I’m going to be thinking about scary clowns all day. You’re rude, Avery Brave. Rude.”
I giggled as we parted ways down the hall. It was good that we didn’t have any classes together, because we’d surely be in trouble the entire time.
I needed to get my notebook and make notes. I snuck into the cafeteria, which was deserted except for the ladies who were busy in the kitchen getting ready for lunch, which was in an hour. I had enough time to sit down and think this through.
I wrote down my suspect list and, beside each name, I wrote a “what if” question about what they would have to lose if I was right.
WHAT IF NATE WAS JUST AS INVOLVED AS ACE? HE IS/WAS FRIENDS WITH ACE AND WAS DATING SYLVIE.
WHAT IF MR. KNIGHT KNOWS MORE THAN HE’S LETTING ON?
WHAT IF FELIX HAD BLOND HAIR?—I had nothing on Felix.
WHAT IF ACE DID SOMETHING ILLEGAL? IF HE GOT CHARGED FOR SOMETHING ELSE, WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO TAKE HIM DOWN FOR THE CHARGES THAT HE AVOIDED LAST YEAR. He would certainly try to scare me off the scent if I was getting to too close. Was he possible scared? (That was a stretch, but this was a what-if game I was playing.)
WHAT IF MR. HICKHAM IS TRYING TO SHUT ME UP BECAUSE HE REALIZED AFTER THE DANCE THAT I’M ON TO HIM?
BUT AM I ON TO HIM? WHAT DO I EVEN KNOW? Did the pieces equal anything concrete? Not really; it was circumstantial. I needed to bounce this off someone safe. Who could I trust? Not anyone on the list, really. Even Felix was too concerned to be objective.
I decided to talk to the guidance counselor. I faked some emotions at the front office and begged to see her. She smiled at me, knowing I wasn’t really having a crisis.
“What’s up, Avery?” she said, leaning on her desk and removing her glasses.
“Hey, Ms. Midler.”
“What’s the fake crisis about?”
“I need to ask you some hypothetical questions.”
“You know you don’t have to have a breakdown to make an appointment with me.”
The Nightingale Files : The Rook and Queen Page 8