by M. N. Forgy
I open my eyes to find Dani’s head lying on my chest and her body clung to mine, our legs and arms tangled. I’m speechless at the angelic beauty sprawled out before me, and completely appalled. I have never had sex like last night. When I'm with one of the flavors; that’s what we call the whores who hang around the club, I usually bend them over something or have them on their knees. Then I send them packing; no skin contact, no cuddling, and sure as hell no staying over.
And I sure as hell never messed around with a virgin before. I should have bailed as soon as she pulled the 'V' card out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I had hoped after getting my dick wet by Dani, I wouldn’t want her anymore. I just wanted to prove to her that she couldn’t resist me; and prove to myself I just wanted her because I couldn’t have her. But looking at her this morning I could definitely take her again; I still want her. But I don’t deserve her and I can’t afford the distraction.
I can’t help but slide my hand up and down her bare back. Her olive skin is so silky. My dick twitches at the skin contact, making me frustrated. All these feelings I’m having are fucking mystifying. I need to get out of here and clear my head. I slowly move her head over and try to untangle my body from hers, trying not to wake her.
“You're still here. I thought you would be gone,” she mumbles with sleep in her voice.
Shit, I woke her.
“Yeah, uh, I gotta go now,” I say, slipping off the bed. I grab my underwear and jeans and put them on quickly.
She sits up in the bed grabbing the white sheet with both hands to cover her perky tits. I need to hurry up and get the fuck out of here before the urge to fuck her consumes me. I’m sure her bitch of a mother will be barging in here soon.
I grab my cut off the chair and risk a look at her. Her face is down and she looks ashamed. Shit. This is why I don’t mess with chicks outside of the club. Club girls know what to expect out of a brother; nothing. Civilian bitches, girls who know nothing about club life, expect more and look deep into things; leaving shit like this to happen. I actually feel guilty for wanting to leave Dani.
“Church,” I respond, trying to ease the leaving situation. Why I give a shit; I’m clueless.
“It’s not Sunday?” she questions, with a cocked eyebrow. Her question actually pisses me off. Doesn't she know who the fuck she’s talking to? But her innocence makes me want her more, I swear. She is nothing but purity, a breath of fresh air. Something I have never been around. Girls like Dani don’t hang around the club.
“No, not that kind of church. I have to go to discuss club business. It’s at noon, and it's noon now. I gotta get before they come looking for me.” I pull on my shirt and leather cut. It’s the same shit I had on yesterday, but I don’t have time to change.
I open the door a sliver and peek out. I don’t see anybody so I slip out and shut the door quietly, not giving Dani another look. I feel guilty as shit as it is, I can’t stand to see her in pain any longer. The main room of the clubhouse is a fucking mess, and there's naked chicks scattered everywhere. The prospects have black trash bags picking up trash, and some of the Ol’ Ladies are throwing clothes at the naked girls trying to get them decent and out of the club. I walk into the kitchen and grab a cup; I need some coffee to help process what the fuck is going on in my head. I just slept with the devil's daughter. I’m a dead man walking.
“Where the hell did you disappear to last night?” Bobby spits at me from behind, making me spill coffee.
“Nowhere, why?” I ask, irritated.
“Oh, I dunno. I saw you chase the president’s daughter down the hall and haven’t seen you come out until just now.” His tone is accusing.
I glare at him. What is he getting at? Bobby and I go way back, even before the club. I know we are close, but the club is a brotherhood. I’m not sure he wouldn’t tell Bull I fucked his daughter. Hell, I felt like shit keeping this from Bull, but I’m not sure he wouldn’t put a lug in my head if he knew I banged his daughter.
“What the fuck is that, brother? Please tell me you had a bloody nose or some shit.” Bobby points at my hand. Looking down at what he’s pointing at, I tense. Shit, I have blood on my fingers; how did I miss that. It must have gotten there when I took the condom off last night. Trying to hide that I fucked Bull's daughter was not going to be easy with the loss of Dani’s innocence all over my fucking hands. I walk over to the sink and start washing my hands, ignoring Bobby.
“That’s not what I think it is, is it?” Bobby asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Fuck off, Bobby, it’s nothing!” I bark, his persistence is really starting to piss me the fuck off.
“You get in a pissing match with me for dancing with that bitch last night; then you disappear into her room for the night... just looking at her... I’m pretty sure that is exactly what I think it is,” he says, gesturing toward my hands again.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Pushed to my limit, I shove Bobby and get in his face. Him questioning me has hit its toll.
Not one to back down, Bobby gets right back in my face. “I think you're the one with a death wish, brother. What the fuck were you thinking?” He pushes me in the shoulders, his voice snapping and authoritative. He's right, though; what the fuck was I thinking? I knew better than to fuck with Dani.
I back off and throw my hands in my hair, unsettled by my own actions. “I wasn’t thinking. The bitch had me twisted, acting like she didn’t want me. I just...” I pause trying to figure out what the fuck I was thinking last night. “I wasn’t fucking thinking,” I whisper.
“This can’t be good, brother. You know this shit won’t go down well,” Bobby whispers back and walks out of the kitchen.
He is right. I feel different around Dani, I know that. But I also know she would be better off without a piece of shit like me. I’m fucked up in the head; not right. If Bull didn’t kill me first, my way of living would devour Dani, thus causing Bull to kill me. The way I see it, Dani's a loaded gun either way.
Sitting at the table waiting for the other brothers to show, Bobby eyes me from across the wooden top. He grabs a piece of paper from the center and starts drawing on it; snickering as he scribbles. What the hell is he doing? He slides the piece of paper across the table at me, and looks over his shoulder as if he’s in middle school passing a note.
What. The. Fuck? It has a stick figure with a disproportionate cock fucking another stick figure with big boobs and a gun to the male figure's head. I crumple the paper in my hand as he laughs; pleased with himself.
“First order of business,” Bull says as he lowers himself slowly into his chair. He looks like shit. I’m sure he partied hard last night. Bull is always one for lots of bitches and booze and he is paying for it this morning. “Bobby what do ya have to report, son?”
Bobby was sent on a run to Nevada to investigate a deal the El Locos, another motorcycle club, want us in on. They want us to run guns with them and buy their stock weapons. Not knowing much about them, Bull sent Bobby to check out their credibility and their stock and report back to us for a vote.
“Eh, they seem sketchy, a fly-by-night operation, if you ask me, Prez. “ Bobby leans back in his chair, his childish behavior vanished. “The containers they have the guns in were beat to hell, and the AK-47s have seen better days. I didn’t even want to test 'em out, they were that banged up; seems like they went through hell. Their club seems too eager to sell them, too.”
“Think they're hot?” Bull asks, wondering if the other club stole them from the competition. If they were, buying them would mean more trouble for us, something we don’t need right now. Our club has been attracting heat since a rogue prospect shot a cop a while back. Now the competition and the cops were dying to get a shot at us. Needless to say, that prospect will never be found, I took care of it personally. I knew that fucker was worthless when I first met him.
“The shape those guns were in, possibly a robbery gone wrong,” Bobby says, scratching his chest.
Bull
rubs the stubble on his cheeks as he processes what Bobby is saying. “Alright, I don’t think this is something we want to get involved in, who agrees?” Bull asks. Ayes are spoken around the table in agreement; we don’t need to make waves.
“Tie up that loose end, Bobby,” Bull says, pointing at him. ”Next order of business. Locks, any word about the girls and this Stevin fellow?” Bull lights a cigarette.
“Not a damn thing, Prez. I called out to the Ghost’s in New York and asked them to find the fucker and follow him; see what his next move was. Nobody in the area has seen him or heard from him. Fucker is MIA.” Locks replies, lighting a cigarette as well.
“Shit, not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” Bull says.
“Yeah, he could have gotten spooked and split town, is lying low, or he is out looking for the girls,” Locks chimes in.
“Don’t make sense to me,” I think loudly, not realizing I said the words.
“How so?” Bull asks, taking a drag from his cigarette. His eyes narrow and I'm not sure it's just the smoke.
“I just don’t get how a powerful man like Stevin isn’t heard of around there,“ I justify.
Bull nods his head in agreement.
“Considering how sloppy he was in killing those pigs in his office, I’m shocked to find out he hasn’t left a trail, either,” I admit.
“Yeah, something is fishy,” Bobby says, agreeing.
“Hmm... Find out who this fucker is, Locks, and get back to me. I want everything, from his real estate to who he has in his pocket,” Bull announces. Usually powerful, wealthy men like Stevin have lots of people on their payroll; greedy fuckers only wanting money. Maybe if we can find one of them we can buy some information and get a lead on Stevin.
“Let’s get the safe house cleaned and stocked up; get the girls out there. I want three men on them at all times. Shadow, I want you on Dani, she seems to like you.” Bobby snorts, at that comment; fucker. I kick him under the table to shut him the fuck up.
“Bobby, follow Lady around. Good luck, she’s a bitch,” Bull laughs, “and get a prospect, too. If you two need to be elsewhere you get someone to cover your spot,” he commands as he stands.
“You got it,” Bobby replies.
Bull slams the gavel down and everyone gets up to leave. I look over at Bobby who is red in the face from trying to keep his laughter in.
“What’s so fucking funny?”
“You are so fucked, man,” he laughs.
I throw the crumpled up piece of paper I held in my hand at him. Fucker, so glad he thinks this shit is funny.
A vibrating noise on the night stand next to the bed catches my attention. It is Shadow's cell phone. In his rush to avoid me this morning, he forgot it. I pick it up. It reads '1 missed call'. I wonder who called him. I can't stop the suspicion in my gut, so I open the cell phone. The missed call is from someone he's dubbed 'BITCH'. I’m sure he has lots of bitches. He should probably number them, bitch 1, bitch 2, I could be bitch 3. I growl at myself, thinking I, too, am just some bitch to get his rocks off. I bet tonight he will be in bed with a different bitch. Well, I'll just make sure he thinks of me while doing it.
I open the contacts to put my cell number in. For a contact name, I start typing 'Dani'. Unexpectedly, his voice echoes in my mind from last night; “Goddamn, you smell like heaven”. I smile at the memory. I delete what I typed and put in the name, 'Heaven'. I angle the camera at myself, sex up my bed-head with my fingers and pinch my cheeks. I pull the sheet up over my breast, bite my lip and take the picture. Not too bad. I look like I was just fucked seven shades from Sunday; exactly what I was going for. It will make a great contact photo. If he doesn’t delete the picture, he will always remember me and him last night.
How pathetic am I? Even with the thought that he used me, I still want him.
I get up to put some clothes on. Stepping over my white panties reminds me of the loss of my purity. My clit tingles just thinking about how Shadow took me with his deceitful ways. My body betrays me as easily as he did. Grr... I need to push him out of my mind; forget him. But having given Shadow something as special as my virginity makes me feel connected to him in a way I know he doesn't share. I feel stupid, and to be honest, a little hurt.
I grab my suitcase to see if I have any clean clothes left. I should probably see if there's a washer and dryer in the clubhouse. How convenient; a black bra and panties set; that should match my promiscuous ways. When I start to slide on my panties I see blood between my thighs. Shit, I need a shower.
I let the hot shower wash off everything from last night. It is bitter sweet. I want proof of what happened off of me, but don’t. I grab some soap and lather it up between my hands, it smells like Shadow. I smile at the recognition. I rub the dried blood off with the soap, the smell of Shadow soaking into my skin.
I slip my sinfully colored panties and bra on and open the closet to see if there's any kind of shirt I can throw on. Luckily, there are a few with the Devil's Dust logo of a skeleton hand crushing a skull. I grab the black one and put it on. It engulfs my slim figure, so I tie the bottom corner hem into a knot. Reaching back into my bag, I find some blue jean shorts to put on.
A smooth voice startles me. “Damn, you were born to wear that shirt.” It's Shadow, studying me from top to bottom with beastly eyes. The sound of his voice brings hurt to my soul and desperation to my loins.
“You're back,” I respond, trying not to sound excited. “I didn’t think I would see you again today.”
“Yeah, I forgot my phone,” he says, grabbing it off the night stand.
Awkward silence fills the room; neither of us knowing what to say about last night.
Great, here it comes: “I didn’t mean for last night to happen,” or, “it's not you, it’s me”. I don't think I can handle the rejection. Even though I knew this was a probability, actually hearing I was just a one-night stand coming out of his beautiful mouth might kill me.
“You don’t need to explain, Shadow. I get it.” My eyes start to sting. Holding back my emotions may be harder than I thought. I stare out the window trying to avoid eye contact.
Shadow scoffs, “I'm glad you understand what’s going on, because I ain’t gotta fucking clue.” His confession throws me for a loop. Is he just as confused about our chemistry as I am? Is there chemistry? Maybe I'm not just a one-night thing. I shake my head; I'm getting ahead of myself. These games are exhausting.
“So, why don’t you clue me in, seeing as how you've got it all figured out,” he says, his tone unreadable.
When I face him, his expression is sincere. He looks lost even.
“Dani, last night-“ Shadow is cut off from a knock at the door. Panicked, I start looking around the room; looking for somewhere to stuff him. I start pushing Shadow toward the closet in a desperate attempt to conceal him.
“Are you fucking serious?” he whispers, when he realizes I am shoving him into the closet.
“Yes, I’m serious,” I whisper back. “What if it’s my mom or dad? Go, and be quiet.”
I shut the closet door and notice the condom on the floor next to the trash can. Shit. I grab it and throw it in the bathroom trash; I grab some toilet paper and throw it on top to hide it. I run back and open the door my mother is pounding at, trying not to seem panicked.
“Are we over our temper tantrum“? My mother asks, walking in. She looks like shit. She's pale and still wearing the same clothes from last night.
“Mom, I –“ she cuts me off, pointing at my shirt.
“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Wearing?” she snaps, her eyes as wide as saucers.
I look down at the shirt I’m wearing. “I found it in the closet. It looked comfy,” I profess.
She walks over to me and tugs at the top, trying to take it off me. “No. No daughter of mine will wear this shit,” she says, frantically.
“Stop it,” I yell at her, but she keeps grabbing at me. “Get off me!” I can feel my face turning red; my body temp
erature rising; my vision blurring with rage. Finally having enough of her scratching my arms and neck to get at the black shirt, I snap.
“Back off, damn it!” I push her violently, her body flying to the floor like dirty laundry. I jump back; startled by my lack of self-control and anger. Where did it come from? I have pushed my mother before, yelled even, but never have I practically tossed her like a rag doll.
She is trembling as she stands. “What’s gotten into you, Dani? First you are riding around with... with that biker trash; then, wearing that God awful shirt like you're a club member; and now you're violent to your own mother.” She is hysterical now. “This is wrong. I raised you better than this. I gave you a better life than this; hell, I gave you life.” Other than trembling, she isn't moving a muscle.
“It’s a fucking t-shirt,” I shout at her as she eyes it with a deadly stare.
“No, No, it’s more than a fucking t-shirt. You are becoming one of them; biker trash. You're becoming your… your father.” She went from being loud and hysterical to whispering those last few words. I may have barely heard the words, but even her whisper was dripping with hatred.
“Yeah, well, I never asked for your lies and betrayal,” I snap back at her in self-defense.
“You know, I had a premonition when I realized you shared your father's green eyes. I loved those eyes until he tossed me aside. I knew I had to hide him from you; keep you on the right path, or you would turn out just like him.” She's avoiding eye contact which always raises my suspicion.
“What’s so wrong with being like him?” I ask.
“Really?” she says, snidely. “You have been here but a minute. You have no idea what he is capable of, any of them. They lie, cheat, murder, rob. They are unstoppable. You stand in their way, they will kill you.”