by M. N. Forgy
My mother did come out of her room to get some food after the guys left, but she ended up throwing it up. Babs took care of her more than I did that day because I have no sympathy for her. Call it revenge for the last twenty-one years if you must, but being around my mother is like nails on a chalk board anymore. She's spent the last two days sitting at the club talking to Babs and Hawk about the club. They tried to change the subject several times, but she's not having it.
I tried to just sit and listen for a while or to help Babs with food preparations to waste some time, but I prefer being alone. I feel the numbness that was my life before, devouring my emotions. I need Shadow. He is all I can think about. He is my drug, my obsession, my addiction. Just as I did in New York during my lowest points, I grab my iPod and headphones. Listening to music helps. When I worked at the coffee shop, most of my money went to buying songs so I have a ton of tunes on the damn thing.
I lay in bed listening to Avicii’s “Hey Brother”, thinking of Shadow. He was supposed to be back today and I can't help but worry. The hour is late and he still isn't here. I could text him, but I don’t want to seem clingy. I think about the words Candy spat at me; how she has slept with Shadow and how I don't belong here. Maybe I don't belong here, but I have my father’s blood in me; surely I have some outlaw in me somewhere. It would explain more than enough as to why my mother sat on me like a damn mother bird my whole life, afraid if she turned her head I would burn the whole town down.
My father's blood running through my veins; maybe that's why I get so mad and jealous. Who am I to judge Shadow’s past, maybe he is even trying to change. All I know is I would do anything to have him hold me like he did the other night. I wouldn't care if he were mine afterwards. I would be happy with him being mine briefly if that’s all I had.
I wake up with my iPod screeching a Bruno Mars song. I pull the headphones off and see it’s 3am. Laughter outside my room catches my attention. I can hear Shadow's voice. The butterflies that left my abdomen when he left on his run come roaring back with urgency, making me feel giddy. I get up and turn the lights on to inspect my appearance. I want to look appealing when he sees me. I want to make things right between us. My hair is tousled down sitting on my breasts as usual. I grab the black Devil's Dust shirt that drives him crazy and some jean shorts that are ripped a little too high up on my thigh, making me feel sexy. I take a deep breath and open the door.
I stop to inspect where the laughing is coming from; it must be by the bar. I walk barefooted toward the sound of laughing and voices. When I turn the corner, I’m dumbfounded by the scene before me. Bobby and Shadow are on the black, leather sofa with a bare-breasted Candy sitting between them. Bobby is snorting a white, powdery substance off Candy’s nipple; cocaine.
“You want any?” Bobby asks Shadow, who is eyeing her bare chest. Bobby then slides his hand in between Candy’s thighs and up her skirt. He leans over her, whispering something into her ear that causes her to throw her head back with fake giggles.
Shadow leans over the same bare boob and flicks his tongue over the powdery residue left behind. Then he sucks the perky nipple into his mouth. Candy moans in response as he pulls away, making a smacking sound.
An uncontrolled yelp escapes my throat in disbelief. I cover my mouth with my hands to stifle any other noises that might escape, but it’s too late. All three of them look up at where the sound came from, spotting me.
“Oh shit,” Bobby whispers, before looking over at Shadow whose face seems more than alarmed at my presence.
I turn to run back to my room, traumatized by all the emotions flooding my mind and heart; jealously, rage, regret. I hear steps coming my way and I try to walk forward but my feet won’t move.
“Let 'er go, Shadow, princess doesn’t belong here anyway and she doesn’t deserve you.” Candy’s words hit me like a ton of bricks.
I instantly sober; my pain replaced with pure rage. I turn back on my heel and stride toward Candy, barging past Shadow on the way. Bobby jumps off the couch, seeing I am not to be messed with. I am a venomous snake, ready to strike.
“Oh shit, cat fight.” Bobby exclaims, beside me now.
“Dani, wait!” Shadow says calmly. I throw my hand up to shut him up. This is between me and Candy-pants here. I will deal with him later.
Candy stands up, our faces less than a foot apart. Her faked-tan bust is barely inches away from me. My breathing is harsh and hostile, my body wound up and ready to strike. The tension in the air thickens significantly. If she thinks she can run me out of here like her mom did to my mom, she’s wrong. This is where the cycle ends, bitch.
“Sweetheart, go sit down before you break a nail.” She puts her hands on her hips, waiting for my come back.
I can feel my nostrils flaring from the amount of air I’m pushing through them. My rage is poisoning my wholesome blood. I ball my hand, pull back my arm and slam my fist into her cheek as hard as I can. She tumbles over the arm of the couch and flat onto her ass, her legs spread wide. She’s not even wearing any panties. Of course, she isn’t.
“Damn!” Bobby yells.
I walk up and stand over Candy’s prone body; she looks up at me, her cheek split where I hit her. Suddenly, she kicks her legs up and hits me square on my ass, sending me flying forward and landing on my hands. I’m shocked; from the blow she took to her cheek I was sure she would stay down. Catching me off guard, she flips me over on my back and straddles me, her massive, fake boobs bouncing with her quick movements. Before I can manage to get her off of me, she rears her hand back and bitch-slaps me, her nails leave little stings from skidding across my silky cheek.
Seriously? I punch you and you slap me back?
I rear my hips up, bucking her over me, her erect, pink nipples skidding across my face in the process and leaving behind a cheap smelling perfume. I stand up and she grabs my shirt to pull herself up, ripping my shirt right across my chest with her nails in the process. My black, lacy bra plays peek-a-boo with the small slits she’s made.
Damn it, I like this shirt.
“You don’t deserve to wear that shirt, you bitch,” she yells at me, out of breath and pointing at the Devil's Dust shirt I’m wearing. She starts trying to rip the shirt off of me again, pulling on my bra, making one of my tits pop through the slits in my ripped shirt. I push her back so I can hit her again. I pull my sore fist back and I throttle her right in the nose. She squeals as she falls back onto the couch. Her nose is bleeding all over her hands and down her tanned chest.
“I’m just getting started, whore!” I throw my arms out and give a 'come and get it' gesture with my hands.
“Oh no, you don’t, you’re done!” Shadow yells in my direction, grabbing me by the waist and pulling back.
I kick and slap at Shadow. “Fucking let me go!” I scream.
“Ah, man, you take all the fun away,” Bobby complains, clearly enjoying all the boob action.
Shadow eyes Bobby aggressively. “Call the fucking Doc, man.” Shadow places his hand on the small of my back and pushes me toward the room. Looking back at Candy’s bloody state, I think she has learned her lesson on trying to run me out of here.
I follow Dani back into the room, she stands staring out the window worrying her lip with one hand while the other arm holds her body. Man I fucked up. I shouldn’t have listened to fucking Bobby. Asshole has been in my head since we left the other day. The run went relatively smooth and we could have been back that night if it weren’t for Bobby and Locks. Every damn time we make a trip to Las Vegas they think they have to hit up casinos and strip clubs. I’m usually all for it, but I just wasn’t in the mood this time. Today we went to the strip club; Bobby kept saying I needed to let loose. I didn’t argue, because I did need to unwind. When Locks was in the back with one of the strippers, Bobby started chirping in my ear like a fucking female.
“That’s the third bitch I’ve seen you turn down for a private dance since we’ve been here, bro, what the fuck? It’s Dani, is
n’t it?” his eyebrows lifted in question.
“Let me tell you something, Shadow, I have dated chicks like Dani. They only mess with men like us to get back at their parents or they think they can change us into what they want, or what they think they want, anyway. Her world and our world don’t mix; look at how her parents turned out. Get her out of your head, man, and have some fun with one of these sexy creatures walking around here.”
Bobby slid his hands up a girl's torso as she walked by. “Besides, if Dani doesn’t stomp all over you, Bull’s boot will.” I grunted at his assumptions. “I’m only telling you this because I can see you opening yourself up to this broad, and I’m telling you it won’t work out.”
I heard what he was saying and he was right. Dani did have issues with her parents, so she fit the bill and every time I went near her she would become reserved. I hate how I have her in my fucking mind all the time. If she is the kind of girl Bobby thinks she is, then she's going to chew me up, spit on me, and rub it in with her stiletto. Just the thought makes my chest ache; feel hollow. I feel like such a pussy.
When we got back to the club, Bobby ended up calling Candy; wouldn’t be the first time we screwed Candy together. Bitch took whatever we would give her; most girls did, in hopes of being patched in as a brother's property. We usually called a couple of girls when we got back from a run to relieve stress. But I didn’t want to see Candy this time and that pissed me off. I knew exactly why I didn’t want to see Candy. I fuck anyone I want with no remorse, yet just the thought of anyone besides Dani had me second guessing myself. As Candy was sprawled out on that damn couch half naked, my mind kept going back and forth if I should go see what Dani was doing, or if she was awake, and did she want to see me? The smell of her, the feel of her warm body against mine, her long beautiful hair, and those fucking eyes. Bobby offered me coke, and I wanted to relax my mind. It wasn’t anything more to me than coke on a slutty tit.
Dani’s reaction was a surprise, and that’s putting it fucking lightly. She didn’t fall to the ground and cry, or let Candy walk all over her. Her reaction proved she is where she was born to be, and if I was just something to prove to mommy and daddy, she wouldn’t have gotten so upset with me fooling around with Candy. Bobby was wrong about her, she was not that high maintenance, stuck up bitch he pegged her to be; that I pegged her to be. Seeing her beat Candy’s ass like the club brat she is was also the most becoming thing I have ever seen, and it left my dick rock hard. I’m tired of playing these games with her. It’s time to find out where the fuck this is going; whatever the fuck this is.
I shut and lock the door. Dani turns, impaling me with those emerald green eyes of hers. She is wearing the Devil's Dust shirt again, well, what’s left of it. She’s a fucking vixen in that shirt. A couple of scratches feather across her left cheek, no doubt from Candy’s fake nails. I can hear music playing from her headphones on the bed. She walks over to it and stops the music. I notice her knuckles are bruised and bloody; I’m not sure if it’s her blood or Candy’s. I would inspect further, but I’m not looking for an ass kicking myself. I’m sure I’m the last person in the world she wants to touch her. Candy made me out to be in it for nothing but sex when it came to women, and it usually is, but with Dani it’s different. I can’t get her off my mind, and I feel for her on a different level than I have for any female.
“Dani, look, the other night… tonight, I just...“ I can’t spit the fucking words out, I have never had to explain my actions before, especially to a woman. It really isn’t easy with Dani just standing there with a vicious glare.
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Shadow. It was just sex, no labels, right?” She's trying to sound stern and sure of herself, but I can see through her; she wants more from us than sex.
“I think we were both okay that night with just sex,” I run my hands through my hair; this always seems to catch her attention, “but, I can’t get you out of my fucking head.” I point to my head in explanation. “I don’t know what this is; if this is even anything to put a label on, but I would be willing to put my life on the line to find out where it goes.”
I shock myself in my admission, but it’s the truth. I have never been this twisted over a female before, and I would be a fucking fool to turn away from it. Most girls that come through here are looking for a free ride; wanting to become an Ol’ Lady; wanting protection or drugs. They’d be in your bed one minute, then with another brother's dick in a second if they thought it would get them up the ladder quicker. Dani was different, she came to me pure and innocent. She makes me work for her intimacy, and will push me away in anger. The only thing I can see she wants from me, is me. My only fear of that, is if she can handle all of me. So In the end, I’m glad I said it.
She turns her back on me and scoffs. I widen my eyes in disbelief. I just opened myself like a damn book and she turns her back on me?
“Right. Do you usually fuck around on people you want to be with?” She is so sexy when she defies me, but she is also pissing me off. What the hell does she mean “do I usually fuck around on people I want to be with”? I have never wanted to be with anyone before.
“Dani, I have never had a relationship with anyone; never wanted more than just a one night stand with anyone. You’re the first,” I say, letting out a breath. Maybe I should have never said anything. Maybe this was all just a big mistake.
She turns, her eyes are watery like she’s going to cry, staring at me like I just said words of gold. Shit, I hate it when chicks cry. I need to set her straight on what I am, what we are, before she thinks I’m some Romeo.
“What did you expect, Dani? When Candy told you a fraction of the man I am, you went running for the fucking hills. I’m the fucking Sargent-At-Arms of the Devil's Dust Motorcycle Club. I’m a murderer, an outlaw, a fucking beast. There are no white picket fences and Sunday brunches on this side.” I stare her in the eyes as deeply as I can. I want her to know I’m no fucking Prince Charming, not even close. This is the man I am; if she wants me, this is who she gets. There is no changing me to some Mr. Perfect.
Her eyes darken. “Ah, I get it. You think the same thing as that bitch out there; that I don’t belong here,” she says, snidely.
I can tell her exactly what she wants to hear, that I never thought that, but I would be fucking lying.
“At first I didn’t believe you belonged here, no. I thought that you were some stuck-up bitch; one that I wanted to fuck into her place.” Her eyes widen with shock. “But then I got to know you a little better; and now, after that little charade in there...” I point through the wall to where she just beat Candy’s ass moments before, “... I know you have Devil's Dust Blood in you, and I think you know it, too.
“I saw the ferocious woman in you finally escape tonight; the woman your mother has been scared shit-less to let out. You are your father’s daughter, no doubt,” I chuckle. Watching Dani let loose on Candy was like letting a caged tiger out into the wild. Its primal instincts kick in, and it is where it belongs.
She wipes a tear from her face, letting her hands fall to her side. She’s no longer trying to shield herself, maybe I haven’t fucked this up.
I walk up to her and grab her hands in both of mine, I don't know, isn’t that suppose be romantic or some shit?
“I have never done this before, so be warned. I’m going to be a shitty romantic, and you’re going to be pissed off at me more than you actually like me. If we do decide to go forward, you are mine! I own you, do you understand?” I tuck my finger under her chin making her look at me. “I won’t let you go, and I sure as hell won’t let you go back to New York.” I lean in and kiss the scratches on her face. I have never hit a woman before but after seeing the scratches on Dani’s beautiful face, I want to bitch-slap Candy, I want to fucking beat the shit out of her mother for her neglect. I want to protect Dani from everything bad.
Dani’s green eyes pierce mine, as she nods her head. “Say it, Dani. Say you're mine and you understan
d.”
“I’m yours and I understand.” Her voice is so quiet it makes me nervous. Then again, this whole thing makes me nervous.
I dive in and bite her bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth before demanding entry with my tongue. My cock, that was already hard from all the tits and ass being thrown around the club, throbs against my jeans, screaming to be released. The back and forth between Dani and I, has given me horrendous blue balls on more than one occasion.
She pulls away, placing both her hands on my chest and looks down. I can tell she is over-thinking something. “What is it, Dani?” I pull her chin up, her skin is so silky and soft against my rough fingers. I bet telling her I own her has her rethinking everything.
“You're mine too, right? No more Candy, or other girls?” She’s so damn cute. I guess she has point. I can’t ask her to only be mine and fuck around on her. I know brothers do this; mattress hopping isn’t uncommon in the club, but I just can’t see myself doing it to Dani, she’s different.
“I’m all yours.” I smile wolfishly as I turn the lights off. She wants me all to herself. Nobody has ever asked such a thing of me before. I’m sure before this is over she is going to be throwing me at someone else.
I claim her sugar lips; licking, nipping, sucking every drop I can get from her delicate mouth. I can hear her breath become heavy. Her hands fly to my shoulders; climbing me, clinging to me like she can’t get enough; like I am her next breath. I grab the back of her thighs and place her legs around my waist; she weighs nearly nothing, making it easy to move her around. I take one hand and place it on the back of her head before letting us both fall on the bed, protecting her head from the forceful fall. She moves her head to the side, giving me entry to the crook of her neck. I skid my lips across her peach smelling skin, teasing her porcelain skin with my hot breath. She whimpers and starts to pull my cut down my arms and my shirt over my head. I sit up on my knees and help her remove my shirt; her fingers fly to the zipper on my jeans. The need in her eyes is almost too much to handle. I tug the button off my jeans and shimmy out of them, leaving me in my white, boxer briefs. Her breath catches at the sight of my length fighting against the thin fabric. Her fingers grab the waist band and start pulling them down. She places tender kisses across my chest making a beastly growl escape my mouth. I grab what’s left of her shirt and pull it over her head. Her dark hair falls across her nipples. Her breasts are not as big as Candy’s but they are natural and suit her beautifully. I grab her shorts and panties and yank them down as one, urgent to be inside of her. I place tender kisses over the scratches on her cheek; fucking Candy. She throws her legs around my waist, knocking her iPod off the bed.