by Allie Faye
Mudshovel - Staind
Future Starts Slow – The Kills
Let her Go – Passenger
Fix You – Coldplay
The full Playlist can be found on Spotify under
Cooper’s Religion
About Allie
Allie Faye is a small-town girl from Kentucky who lives and breathes writing. She loves getting lost in the pages of a great romance. Her stories are sweet and spicy. Every woman should get in touch with her naughty side.
Bonus preview
Book 2 of Cooper’s Religion
This is subject to change upon release day
One love.
Three hearts.
One choice.
Losing my fiancé left me broken and numb. There’s only one person who can bring me back to life—a rock star I shouldn’t want.
Going on tour with Cooper’s Religion is the chance of a lifetime. Watching my best friend get her happily ever after, when I lost mine is hard. I’m not ready to love but Vance doesn’t care. He wants me, all of me. The broken pieces too. There’s a problem though. His best friend loves me too. I want them both even though I shouldn’t. But the heart wants what it wants, and I can’t choose. I have to decide soon or I'm going to tear apart their lives and possibly their careers. This could be the beginning of something beautiful or the end of a tragic love affair.
Resuscitation means to revive. Revive derived from the Latin language, meaning to live again. This is the Resuscitation of Penny.
Chapter 1
Four months ago, today my world was shattered. My heart and my soul have been ripped away from me in the nasty cycle of life. In this life, we are born and then we die, but if we are lucky, we get to love in between the two. I was in love, or at least I thought it was love, but now I’m not so sure what it means to love—his name was Bradly. He was a soldier…he was my soldier. And now he’s dead and I am left here to carry on going through the motions until I die too.
Today was supposed to be my wedding day. Happiest day of a girl’s life, right? I’m standing in front of my full-length mirror that hangs on the back of my closet door, spinning around in my wedding gown, watching the silk swish at the bottom, in a mermaid tail.
Taking another drink from my bottle of champagne—a gift from Bradly that arrived today, I wipe away my tears. He’d already ordered it for me. That was Bradly, always planning ahead. He knew that I would be so nervous today. That’s what his note says.
Penny,
My pretty Penny, I know you are nervous and scared, but I don’t want you to be afraid. I want you to be brave like me. All through my time in combat, I was able to stay brave. All I had to do was picture you coming down the aisle to me. I knew what I was fighting for. I was fighting for this crazy blonde-haired girl who has a smile brighter than all the stars in the sky. I can’t wait to make you my wife today. So, sip on this champagne, calm your nerves, and hurry down the aisle, so I can make you mine.
All my love,
Bradly
I sip my champagne and I spin while wishing I were with him…wherever he is, in heaven or hell. Either has to be better than this feeling of nothingness. My phone keeps vibrating. I know it’s Katie. She’s trying to get me to come on tour with Cooper’s Religion. She thinks it will fix me. I told her I’m not broken I am just bent. I’ll be fine, someday…
Katie is my best friend. She’s in LA, right now with her rock star boyfriend—Kai Cooper, lead singer of the rock band Cooper’s Religion. His band is getting ready to leave for their second tour. Katie thinks making me tag along by her side while she travels the world with Kai will heal me.
Nothing can change the way I feel inside. Not even going on the road with one of the hottest rocks bands in the nation. The guys were discovered near the end of mine, Katie, and Kai’s senior year. They were signed immediately and shot to the top of the charts. I always tell Katie she has all the luck.
I mean, she has her ROCK GOD, PANTY-MELTING boyfriend, Kai Motherfucking Cooper and I have champagne from a dead guy.
This champagne isn’t doing anything for me. Dumping my purse out on my bed, I pilfer through my belongings looking for the pills my doctor gave me for anxiety. I pop the tiny blue pill and take another swig from the bottle. It tastes like acid on my tongue. Twirling again, I throw the bottle at the mirror shattering the glass. My jagged reflection stares back at me. Bloodshot eyes, smeared lipstick, hair that looks like I’ve been fucked…yeah right.
I look hideous.
I look like my best friend’s mother.
Katie’s mom, Nancy, is an alcoholic prostitute.
Maybe a bath would remedy this tragedy that is my appearance. Bradly would want me to look beautiful today.
Filling the tub, I get in gown and all. I spilled some champagne on it, might as well soak it too. The warm water is soothing, feels nice against my skin. I lay here waiting for the pain that never comes. I wish I could have the breakdown that everyone keeps waiting for, so then maybe I could get over this…numbness. I can’t allow myself to feel anything about Bradly other than guilt and shame, so I choose to feel nothing at all.
My water has grown cold. I twist the faucet back on with my toes. My eyes are heavy, and I feel tired. My phone is buzzing but I don’t want to get out of this tub. I’ll only rest my eyes for a moment. The water is up close to my neck now and I feel warm and comfortable. My dress feels really heavy now. Sighing aloud, I stand up in the tub to try to slide the damn thing off. One foot is tangled in the fabric while the other goes sliding across the bottom of the tub. My head smacks against the side of the fiberglass as I try to break my fall with my arm. I hear a loud thwack as the water turns red. I rub my hand across my temple and the sight of the red blood stuck to my fingers makes me sick. I think I cut my head. My mind flashes to the gory images I have conjured of Bradly’s death. Sliding back down in the water as it flows over the tub my eyes close and the world goes black and cold.
~**~
“Penny.” I can hear my name being shouted as something thumps hard against my chest. “Breathe!”
Thump, thump.
I think my chest is caving in and my head hurts.
A vison of myself in my wedding gown swirls in my head. I see my fiancé in his uniform holding his hand out to me. Bradly. My chest hurts.
Thump.
Thump.
My throat is burning.
“Don’t do this to me, please be okay.” Someone shouts in my ears as my head pounds.
Thump.
Thump.
Something warm and inviting touches my mouth. It feels soft, velvety.
Gasp.
I try to suck in a breath.
Big mistake.
Water gurgles in my throat.
I feel like I want to vomit, but only little spurts run out the sides of my mouth.
Coughing and sputtering my eyes fly open to see a blurry version of Jake staring at me with worry etched all over his face, he looks like someone just walked over his grave.
Bradly is in his grave on our wedding day. I want to feel sad about it but the well of tears connected to my heart has dried up.
“Have you lost your mind?” Jake is screaming at me now that I am fully awake. “Why would you do something so fucking stupid Penny?” He shakes my arms as he cradles me into a hug on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
I try to open my mouth to explain it was just an accident, but my words escape me. My throat feels like it has been raked over with sandpaper. My lungs burn.
“I can’t believe you tried to kill yourself,” he yells at me again still clinging me in his hold. His strong, buff arms are caging me in. Jake has killer biceps from all the time he spends playing the drums. He has to be in great shape to keep up with the demands of a tour.
“I fell dumbass. I had an accident. That sort of thing happens…,” I finally mumble out at him. I’m depressed, sure, but I would find a better way to go out, if ending it all was my desire. I’m too selfish
to die.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
“Why are you here, Jake?” He doesn’t give a shit about me.
“I came by because Katie can’t reach you. She’s worried about you.”
“She shouldn’t be.” I would shake my head, but it hurts. “How’d you even get in here?”
He sighs. “When I knocked at the front door, Percy was clawing at the door wanting out. I knew you were home, because your car’s here. When I came in the house, water was in the hall. I kicked open the bathroom door when you didn’t answer me, and I found you in the tub…wearing your wedding gown…unconscious…and bleeding. What am I supposed to think, Penny?” He shakes his head, disappointed in me. I didn’t think Jake thought much of me, if he thinks of me at all.
I pull back from his embrace. His cologne is making my head swim. “What are you doing in Kentucky?” He should be LA, with the rest of the band getting ready for their European tour.
“I came back to square away some stuff with my parent’s estate. I am thinking of renting the place out.” Jake’s parents died in a horrible accident his senior year of high school, he can’t bring himself to ever go in their home, but he refuses to sell it. “Are you okay? Do you want me to drive you to the hospital to get your head checked out?”
“That’s great, Jake. Have anyone interested yet?”
“Hey, don’t try to change the subject. I worry about you, we all do.” By we—he means, Katie, Vance, Hunter and Kai.
“I’m fine. My head hurts but I’ll live.”
He takes a wet cloth dabbing it at the cut on my head and I wince.
“I don’t think you’ll need stitches. But I’m not leaving you alone. I’m gonna call Katie and tell her what happened.”
“Please,” I beg, taking his calloused hands in mine. “Don’t tell Katie, she’ll freak out and call my mom. Then my parents will make me go back to therapy, and crawl up my ass, smothering me. I’m fine. I swear.”
“I don’t believe you.” He looks at me with his baby blues cautious.
“I promise, please, Jake,” I beg.
He stares at me thinking today over. “Do one thing for me and I won’t tell anyone about this…today.” His eyes linger on my exposed chest.
My cheeks flush realizing I just had my naked, wet body pressed against Jake. Oh my damn, he was pressing his hands against my exposed chest. I’ve never been shy about my body, so I don’t understand why Jake seeing me nude bothers me, but it does.
I raise my brow seeing him go red in the face and swallowing hard. “What do you want Jake?”
“Go on this tour with us. Get out of this damn dress, it’s really fucking depressing.” He smiles and helps me up from the floor, slowly. He reaches me a town as my ruined gown puddles at my feet in a heaping wet mound.
“You only said one thing, that’s two,” I tease. “Pinky promise that this stays between the two of us.”
He takes my pinky hooking it with his. “I promise, Penny.”
After I change, Jake helps me clean the shattered glass from my bedroom floor and dispose of the mirror frame, well what is left of it. He doesn’t ask any question or press me for further explanation about the state he’s found me in. I’m grateful. If it were anyone else they would’ve panicked and called an ambulance, but Jake knew exactly what to do.
It’s just odd, we’ve never been close or what you would call friends really. Jake and I haven’t talked much. But I am strangely comforted by his presence today.
I fetch Percy from the backyard, I am sure the little mean ass cat is hungry, he’s always hungry. I ended up having to bring him back home with me because Khloe—Kai’s niece is allergic to him.
“Start packing,” Jake orders me.
“Um, I can’t go. I have to stay here and take care of Percy,” I tell him smugly crossing my arms.
“Penny, I wasn’t asking sweetheart. I am sure you would prefer to take some clothes with you but if you want to go around naked, that’s good with me.” He winks and takes a seat on my couch with Percy snuggled in his lap. Mean ass cat, he never snuggles in my lap. He hates me, and I even make sure to get him the good catnip.
“What about Percy?”
“We can take him to my place and leave him there. I will put into the lease on the house that Percy is a package deal.”
“I can’t just take off and leave everything to go with you guys. I have to work and go to school.”
“You dropped your classes and your parents have been paying your bills. Anything else,” he says with an all-knowing shit-eating grin.
I’m really going to have a word with Katie, seems she tells my business to the guys.
“Fine,” I grumble at him, rolling my eyes.
“I knew you’d see things my way.” Cocky shit.
After I begrudgingly place a call to my parents, that I am going to Europe after all, I go through my townhome, I used to share with Katie, and make sure I unplug what I can. My mom is coming over to take care of anything I miss, like cleaning out the refrigerator of leftover Chinese takeout.
My mom has been awesome about making sure I never want for anything. I’ve always had the best of everything. Katie was always envious of my nice clothes and nice home, but material things mean nothing if you have no one to share them with.
“Yo, space cadet,” Jake teases. “Get the lead out, I need to get on the road.”
I kept hoping if I took too long to get ready he’d grow annoyed and leave. Obviously not the case.
Reluctantly I pack a few key items. If I need anything more I can pick it up as I go. My head still feels a bit swimmy and I can’t rightly concentrate on much other than walking to the car.
My feet stumble over themselves a few times and Jake catches me before I face-plant in the driveway.
“I’m taking you to get checked out, Penny. I think you have a concussion.”
I feel too ill to put up a fight.
Once Jake helps me into the car, I lay my head back against the seat and try not to fall asleep. The whole way to Urgent Care, an afterhours clinic, Jake keeps the windows down and the music blaring loud. He keeps asking me questions, to keep me awake.
“So that Bradly dude, you really wanted to marry him?”
Twisting in my seat, I face Jake. “Did you really just ask me that?”
“You don’t have to answer, but I thought maybe it’d help you to talk about it.” He taps his thumbs against the steering wheel in tune with the music.
“Just like you want to tell me about your parents, right?” I push.
His thumbs begin to tap faster, and he increases our speed. His jaw is clenched, I can see his teeth grinding, by the small flex pulsing in his right cheek.
“I’ll share if you do,” he counters.
“I’ll play. But you go first.”
“After you get that head of yours checked.” He grimaces, pulling into Urgent Care.