Why couldn't she block him out? Focus on the floor. Anything to block his words, but no matter how much she tried to ignore him, his voice continued to penetrate her thoughts.
"I want to close this morning with a verse from Romans," he said. "Roman's 8:38-39 'In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us. I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love -- not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!' That tells me even in the midst of the chaos we see outside of our gates, God still loves us."
Randi's muscles tightened, and she pressed her lips together. She needed to keep her mouth shut. If she told them all how delusional they were, they’d ignore her. Of course, if they knew the truth about her father, they might not listen to him.
"Before we pray, I'd like to share my testimony." Her father's face paled. "It's not easy for me to say this, but if I'm going to talk to you about God's love, I need to be transparent."
Randi's heart fluttered. Oh, no. Her gut clenched. Not while she was here. He couldn't do this in front of everyone. In front of Josh. They wouldn't understand what she'd endured. She looked around. No way out without climbing over others. Creating a scene wouldn't help. A lump formed in her throat. She had to get out of here. A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Her throat unknotted a little.
"It's okay. You can do this," Adriana whispered. "I won't leave you to hear Dad's story alone." Her sister kept her hand resting on Randi's shoulder. Her stomach unclenched and her breathing slowed.
"When I was a young man, I was an alcoholic. One Sunday afternoon as I was driving home from the bar, about a block from the house I crossed into oncoming traffic and hit Faustina's car. Our oldest son, Raul was driving, and my sweet wife was in the passenger seat. Raul was killed." Her father sniffed back tears. "My boy was a good kid. He deserved to live. After they sentenced me to prison, I kept asking God why He took Raul instead of me. After all, I had blood on my hands, but my son, he'd never done anything to hurt anyone.
"I dealt with my anger in an unhealthy way, by fighting anyone who wanted to fight. One night I was in solitary, and a guard threw a Bible to me, and said, 'Martinez, you're on the road to hell.' I opened the book mainly trying to figure out why it was so important to Faustina. In the front, the guard had included a list of must-read scriptures. When I flipped to the first one, he'd taken the time to highlight it. John 3:16 'For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' My boy was a Christian. The thought of him having eternal life comforted me in a way I can't explain. I wish I could tell you I gave my life to the Lord right then, but it took time for me to understand that God's promises applied to even me. A man who'd done more harm than good in this world." He wiped at the tears and stared at Randi. "Forgiveness is hard. Accepting it or giving it. My wife forgave me, but my kids, they still harbor a pretty strong resentment toward me, and I don't blame them."
Adriana squeezed Randi's shoulder again. How could he bare all of their dirty laundry to these people who didn't even know them? Why do this when she was in the room? She bit her lip to keep from screaming at him. How could he talk about Raul? He had no right to bring up the saddest day of her life. Was it too much to ask for him to wait to blab to these people until she wasn't around.
"Adriana, Miguel, and Randi I'm so sorry for what I've stolen from your lives. I pray you'll learn to forgive me."
After they prayed, everyone stood to leave, but Mark said, "Hey guys wait a minute. Could you take a seat? I need to talk to you about security."
Josh shot his brother a quizzical look. After everyone sat, Mark moved Lori into Randi's lap beside Toni and stood. "Look guys, we're growing a tad complacent. It's time to make a plan in case of an invasion."
Adriana stood and removed her hand leaving Randi's shoulder cold. "Look, Mark, you're a sweetheart, but I can't sit around listening to any more end of the world talk. We all know zombies are roaming the streets, but I need to rest. If I think about the risk to my children for a second longer than I already do, I'll lose it." Her voice cracked, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry. If you need something more from me, just put it on the roster. I'll do whatever you ask." She limped out of room and down the hall.
"We're safe in here." Faustina stood and patted Mark's shoulder. "You worry too much."
"Have you forgotten Candy? Not only that, what about opportunists?" Mark rubbed the back of his neck. "Sooner or later someone's going to find out we're here. What do we do when they decide to take over our land and kick us out? If we don't plan now, the children will be in more danger."
Her mother put her face in her hands and moaned. "I can't do this. Not again. If there is some duty you think we need to add, put it on the roster, but this talking is too much. I refuse believe we aren’t safe."
Sticking their heads in the sand again. At least her sister didn't scream like a banshee. Randi scooted closer to the fireplace relishing the warmth. A drastic difference from her motor home. She didn't use the heat in it because she didn't want to waste propane. Of course, the temps had leveled out to fifties and sixties for the most part, so it didn't get too cold.
"Aunt Randi?"
"Shh. Mark is talking."
"Are we gonna die like Miss Candy?" Tears glimmered in Lori's eyes. "She was my bestest friend."
How did she answer the child? Chances were good they would die. Miguel saved Randi from answering by reaching out his hand to Lori. "Let's go talk about Miss Candy. Would you like that?"
Lori followed her uncle out of the room, but Toni stayed plastered to Randi.
"I know this is hard to hear, but if we aren't prepared, our life here will come to an abrupt end," Mark said.
"How? Even if someone wanted to take over, they would have to get through electricity, multiple layers of fencing, a moat, and guards." Reginald held his hands palm up and sighed. "If someone is determined to out gun, out man, and destroy us, what more can we do?"
"It depends on the size of the group attacking. I'm not suggesting we leave our safe home, but we need to develop an evacuation plan if we're overrun." Mark crossed his arms. "I'm working on it, but I'll need y'all to come on board."
"Wait." Mary Anne rubbed her forehead. "Why are you talking about leaving? Shouldn't we prepare to defend our home? We're safer here than anywhere else."
"Of course. Our first choice is to defend ourselves and our home, but what if they breach the fences?" Mark looked around the room. "Enough people can overrun us and kill all of us. If they breach the fences and there are too many for us to fight off, we need to leave."
"Count me in for whatever." Ethan motioned to himself. "I'll do drills with kids, load weapons to prepare for an attack, anything you need, man."
"Thanks." Mark smiled. "I know I can count on Randi. Will anyone else help?"
"Yeah." William stood. "I'm not a kid, so don't plan on treating me like one."
Randi watched the young man. Since Josh had found him camped out just beyond the outer fences, he'd worked hard.
"Me either." Belle stood and motioned for Katie to join her and William. "It's time for you to start treating the three of us as capable adults. Well, maybe we aren't adults, but we've seen more than many of you. We can shoot, and help defend our home and the kids."
"She's right." Katie stuck out her chest. "Randi's taught us to handle weapons. We aren't the best shots yet, but she's going to keep working with us. She's taught us safety, how to load each weapon, and how to clean them after use. It's time to take the three of us seriously."
"I want to be like them." Toni pointed at the trio. "You said Josh could teach me to shoot, so it's time."
"Honey, you're still too young--"
"I'm old enough to know we're in trouble here if someone tries to come in." Tears pooled in the little girl's eyes. "My dadd
y tried to protect us. We walked forever, but the monsters still got him and my sister. If I'd had a gun, I could have saved my daddy."
Randi's heart lodged in her throat. She refused drag these children into the killing fields. "We'll see."
Toni crossed her arms and glared at Randi, but didn't continue to push her.
Shy, quiet Izzy stood. "I've been working on shooting skills, too. Please don't leave me out." She was mature for her age, but her father's abuse and neglect probably made her grow up long before the apocalypse happened. Her bottom lip quivered. "I know I'm an outsider, but I have to take care of my brother. Chris is too little to take care of himself. Put me on the schedule for cooking, hunting, whatever needs to be done."
Had they made Mel's children feel like outsiders? Randi rubbed her chest with the heel of her hand. She'd avoided them because she didn't know what to do with them, but for her to call herself an outsider ... A dull ache shot through Randi's chest.
Katie motioned for Izzy to join her and Belle. "You're not an outsider. You're my sister." Her tone was matter of fact and left no room for argument.
"Bro, I hope you're overreacting, but I'm all for making plans." Josh crossed his legs. "If we don't need them, then great, but if we do let's get ready." He shrugged.
Randi's mom shook her head. "We must stop dwelling on the 'what ifs'. Otherwise, we'll live in fear and raise the children in a culture of despair. They're already asking to be on guard. Babies want to learn to shoot. That's not healthy. The Bible says, 'fear not'. I'm sorry, son, but what you're wanting is to perpetuate panic. It's time to get on with our lives." She turned and walked out of the room without looking back.
Randi let out a long sigh. She was done. Her mother chose to remain ignorant and nothing she said or did would change her.
"If we're forced to evacuate, where would those who survive an invasion go?" Mary Anne asked. "We spent too much time out in this world. The thought of going back out in it makes me want cry."
"This type of thing is what we need to decide," Mark said.
"Davis hardware in Uvalde was clear last time we went there. Garner Park is close. It has plenty of cabins unless it's overrun." Randi pushed Toni to a standing position and stood. "I need to do a perimeter check, but I'll get with you later today." Mark held his hand up in a fist, and she bumped it.
As she and Toni headed toward the vehicle shed, Ethan caught up to her. "Figured you could use a second hand. It's not easy moving the bodies."
Randi hit his shoulder with hers. "Also, thanks for agreeing to help Mark. I'm a little surprised the others are even quasi agreeable." She turned to Toni. "Why don't you find Josh and see if you can help him?"
Toni took off without argument.
"Yeah. Not sure if they are agreeable, or they hate to tell Mark 'no'." Ethan grinned. "Smart move having him present the idea."
"He brought it up because I thought someone was watching from the perimeter." Randi opened the door to the barn. "It was his idea."
"Not what I expected. You're the one who treats the world as though we're at war." They climbed into one of the four-seaters. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you come across a little strong sometimes. Mark has a softer touch. He's got a gentle soul."
Randi pondered his words for a minute. He was right. The others didn't understand war. Even Josh seemed to have forgotten. "I guess so. Never thought about how others perceive me."
"It wasn't an insult. We are at war. The war to end all wars." Ethan rubbed his hands down his jeans. "Not everyone gets it, but they have a hard time arguing with Mark."
"Yeah. I've never been accused of having a sunshiny personality."
"Whoa." He tugged his jacket closed as a cold breeze blew over them. "You have an incredible personality. When I said you come on strong, it wasn't an insult."
Randi laughed. "No offense taken. I know I'm a little intense."
Vixen strode down the street at sunrise. Bryan always went for an early morning run, and she wanted to intercept him. She needed to find out if he was with them or not. They couldn't formulate a plan until she knew he would agree to pick off people from a distance.
Bryan ran by, and she yelled for him stop.
He spun around to face her, but continued to jog in place. Sweat pooled on his face, and his light brown hair clung to his head. "What? I have several more laps to meet my goal."
"I need to talk to you."
"Can't it wait?" He raised his eyebrow. "I can come by your office when I finish." He took off running again without waiting for an answer.
Sweat snaked down her back. She jutted her hip out and placed her hand on it. Who did he think he was dismissing her? The man treated her like some ordinary woman. She stomped back to her quarters. He had half an hour. That was it. If he continued to push her, she would exile the ingrate.
Vixen sat at her desk with her arms crossed and tapping her foot. Fritz sat beside her looking up. She smiled and picked up the sweet pup. "You're such a good boy." She buried her face in his scruff. It had been so long since she'd had a friend. Roxy, her husky, was her last friend. Roxy took all of her secrets and a piece of her heart to the grave. She knew what Vixen's life was like with those evil people. The odor of her stepfather's alcohol infused breath overwhelmed her senses. She jerked her head up. No. She refused to go back to those late nights when her mother ignored the louse and what he'd done to her and her sister.
Bryan walked in, and she raised an eyebrow. "I didn't expect you to take so long."
"Sorry. I always run in the morning."
She clenched her teeth at his unspoken comment. I won't alter my plan for anyone. Not even you. His continued treatment of her as if she were ordinary sent her heart rate into overdrive. She sat petting Fritz and not speaking for a bit until she could reign in her emotions. "We need to discuss Barker's land." She continued to run her hand down the dogs back. He relaxed in her lap. Before long, he would be too big to hold like this.
Bryan crossed his arms, and his hazel eyes bored into her. "You said we would wait until I was comfortable with moving forward."
"Of course, but we must discuss plans."
Bryan stood. "Nope. I've not even watched the place. I don't know anything yet, and I refuse to make guesses based on second-hand information. You can either send me in to observe, or you can make your plans without me."
He spun on his heel and headed toward the door.
"Wait."
"What?" He turned back to her. "I think I made myself clear. If you aren't going to treat this as a military op, then I'm out."
"I'll send you, but I wanted you to see the photos Joe took."
"Fine."
She pulled her laptop toward Bryan. The rest of the town had intermittent electricity, but her office and living quarters had a separate generator that ran twenty-four-seven. "Look. They make rounds on these." She pointed to the ATVs. Some were four wheelers and some were the rugged four seat vehicles. "Joe said they don't have set schedules, but make random checks. Same with the guard towers."
"Smart."
Vixen clenched her jaw again. Everything about the man infuriated her. Why did he praise the traitor’s group? "Joe tried to get a photo of the cremation pits where they burn the dead, but this was the best he could do."
"What about the interior fences? Any photos of those?"
"No. Alton took notes."
Bryan just stared at her with his infernal raised eyebrow.
"What? We only have one camera."
"The smart bet is to have the camera focused on the people and the note taker in the outer area. There's less action out there." Bryan shrugged. "Kind of a waste of time and resources to do it this way." He pointed to the screen.
"You try my patience."
"Sorry. You're the one who wanted me on board with attacking these people. If you don't want my advice or help, I'm outta here."
She grabbed his arm before he could leave. "No. We do need your help, but why must you question me at every
turn?"
"Because you want me to kill people. I don’t take that lightly. Before I agree, I want to know exactly what's going on and the best way to invade without losing most of our people."
"Alton and Joe think we need to find a way to cut the electric fence, cover the moat, cut the inner fence, and take over."
"Yeah? They're idiots. If this group is smart, they'll have alarms on the electric fences, and a sniper who can climb a tower and pick off our people from a protected vantage point. If that's the plan, thanks, but no thanks."
"Then come up with something better. Instead of shooting down every single thing I say, tell me how to best invade." She set Fritz on the floor, stood, and glared at Bryan. "You're pretty negative for not having any better options."
"Can't give you input unless I spend time searching out their weaknesses and determining a solid plan of action. Now, can I?"
Her hands itched to slap that smug smirk off his face. If she slapped the insolent man, he'd kill her. She had no doubts about that. "Fine. Go and observe. Take as long as you need, but report back often. Remember, if Reginald captures you, he'll kill you."
Bryan passed Kaley as he headed to the vehicle depot. "I thought you were at Barker's place watching?"
"I was. Vixen sent Daniel to relieve me. She said she needed me back here." Kaley shrugged. "Who knows why?"
Bryan waved and headed on to the car. More like she wanted to manipulate Kaley by having her run all over the countryside.
Vixen had drawn him a detailed map. Maybe she was an architect in her prior life. He'd never seen anyone draw with such precise detail. It looked professional. Another clue to the woman's past.
He chose the beat up little Camry. No one would think much of it sitting abandoned on the side of the road. Some of the others were too clean. Vixen's insistence on washing the cars galled him. The woman didn't have a smidgen of a clue on covert ops. Not to mention the waste of precious resources.
The car had a full tank. Also against Vixen's rules. He'd tried to explain to her if they kept the vehicles almost on empty, they had no way to escape if trouble showed up. She'd refused to listen. Again.
Dark Days (Book 2): Inquisition Page 3