by Terri Osburn
Loading up my spoon, I said, “Fletcher isn’t an idiot. He’s just insecure and a little lost.”
Dark eyes went wide. “That’s a very enlightened assessment. Generous, too.”
I didn’t bother to say Ryan had made the observation first. Ironic thinking about it now. He called Fletcher insecure while he himself wasn’t confident enough to be honest about what he did. And neither was I. We were all just kids stuck in adult bodies pretending we knew who we were when none of us had a clue.
Maybe someday we would all figure it out. I would gladly fast forward to that time because this learning as I went was getting painful.
Chapter Eighteen
I’d love to say I woke up Friday morning feeling better about the day before, but I did not. After leaving Donna’s, I called Dad on the way home to share how poorly the meeting with Cassie had gone. As expected, his first response was that he would contact Geraldine and straighten things out. That was the last thing I wanted.
Getting to know my long-lost siblings would be wonderful, of course, but that didn’t mean I wanted my mother back in my life. She’d made her choice long ago, and the letter had reiterated what I already knew. I was a mistake from her past, and that’s where she intended for me to stay. I’d done what I needed to do. I told Cassie the truth. What that would trigger I had no idea, but I would keep Dad out of the fray as much as I could.
The day ahead may not have held the same trials, but the knots in my stomach would remain until I got through the next encounter with Ryan. If Rachel was right, his initial anger had likely faded, but there was no guarantee. I understood why he left out a few details, and if he couldn’t understand why I’d done the same—or changed the details, to be fair—then I’d accept that.
I wouldn’t be happy, but I would survive, which felt like progress. At least in my head.
“Good morning,” said Miriam with her boundless cheer. “How are we doing today?”
I tried to meet her level of positivity with little success. “I’m okay. How are you?”
“You don’t sound okay and we’ll get to that, but first…” She held out her wrist, which was adorned with shiny new hardware.
“Let me see.” I pulled her arms closer. “It’s gorgeous. Devon, I assume?”
A giggle escaped her pale-pink lips. “Of course. He’s too good to me, but I’m not complaining.” Sobering, she crossed her arms. “Now, what is going on with you? I’ve been so busy that I feel like it’s been weeks since we checked in. What ever happened with that new man of yours?”
This conversation was going to take a while. “Not great, but it’s mostly my own fault. Do you ever get weird reactions when you tell men that you’re a librarian?”
Dark eyes rolled so hard her lash extensions touched her eyebrows. “Good heavens. I’ve gotten everything from ‘You must be a tiger in bed’ to ‘Do you do naked story time?’”
Again, not exactly my experience. “What about the other direction? Assuming you must be a boring prude?”
With pursed lips, she tilted her head. “No, I haven’t heard that one.”
So maybe I just looked boring and the job had nothing to do with it. That would have been a helpful revelation a few weeks ago.
“Anyway, to delay that kind of reaction, I didn’t tell Ryan up front that I’m a librarian. And before I could tell him, he found out by accident yesterday, when I also found out he wasn’t completely truthful either.”
Miriam dropped into her chair. “I feel like I should have a bucket of popcorn for whatever comes next.”
I’d prefer this to be a movie script and not my very real life.
“Guess who the consultant is?”
“The consultant?”
“The one deciding on the fate of our programs.”
She popped back to her feet. “No way.”
“Yes way. We ran into each other at the main branch when I was on my way upstairs for the interviews. I’m sure you can imagine how that went.”
“I’m scared to even ask.”
The memory still made me cringe. “I was angry. He was angry. Jeffrey was confused and asked if we knew each other. That’s when Ryan said something to the tune of ‘I thought we did, but I was wrong.’ He then walked off, and I stood there feeling like the idiot that I am.” Lifting my teacup in salute, I added, “In other words, it did not go well.”
Lowering slowly back into her chair, Miriam said, “I’m so sorry. He sounded like a nice guy after that disastrous date you had.”
“He’s still a nice guy. He just isn’t going to be my nice guy. Our first game is tonight and I have no idea what to say to him, but I’m not going to grovel. I screwed up, but he wasn’t totally honest either.”
“Incoming,” said Thomas as he approached the counter. “Jeffrey asked me to bring this up.”
“What is it?” Miriam asked.
Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know. He just said give this to Ms. Knox.”
Was the insufferable man ever going to learn my first name? I took the manila folder and untied the string that held it shut. One sheet of paper slid out upside down and I flipped it.
Mitchell and Minkowicz Consulting Group was scrawled across the top and the subject line made my lungs tighten.
“What?” Miriam said. “What does it say?”
I grew angrier with every word I read. This was the outcome report from the meeting the day before, and at the top of the list of suggested cuts was the children’s reading program.
“That son of a bitch,” I snapped, slamming the paper down on the counter.
Both Thomas and Miriam made shushing noises. “You can’t say that in here,” he reminded me.
Ignoring the warning, I bolted from my chair. “There has to be a way to appeal this.”
“Appeal what?” Miriam snagged the paper and read for herself. “Holy shit.”
“What is with you two?” Thomas said, leaning farther over the counter.
“They’re going to cut the reading program,” she answered, holding the paper out for him to read as well. “I can’t believe they’d do this. That program has been running for one hundred and twenty-five years. And it doesn’t even cost us enough to make it worth cutting. What is the point?”
“These are just suggested cuts,” Thomas pointed out. “That doesn’t mean they’ll happen for sure.”
“Oh, they’ll happen. Jeffrey doesn’t care two bits for these programs. He’ll do whatever they tell him, and screw the patrons who will lose out.”
“What about that report you did? Didn’t you list everything in order of importance?” Miriam waved the report in the air. “It’s like they totally ignored you.”
“Guys, I think it’s a little early to panic,” Thomas said. “We don’t know how seriously the higher-ups will take these suggestions.”
I appreciated Thomas’ optimism, but this was exactly the time to panic. Or rather, to form a plan.
Dropping into my seat, I slid up to my keyboard. “We’re going to fight this.”
“How?” the pair said in unison.
“We’ve all been here longer than Jeffrey has. We know who to talk to to go over his head.”
“Whoa,” Thomas said. “Again, we don’t know if any of this will be enacted. Don’t you think we should talk to Jeffrey first? What if you fire off an email and find out the programs aren’t being cut at all?”
He had a point. As much as I hated to do so, we needed to start with Jeffrey on the slim chance that he’d pushed back against the recommendations.
“Fine. Let’s go see what he says.” When Miriam and I reached the top of the stairs, I realized Thomas wasn’t with us. Turning around, I found him lingering at the desk. “Aren’t you coming?”
He gave a sheepish look. “Someone has to stay here.”
“Coward,” Miriam muttered.
“We can do this,” I said, tugging her along.
At the base of the stairs, we made the left and I knocked on our boss’ door.
No answer came. I knocked again and still, only silence.
“Did he leave?” Miriam whispered.
“It’s barely ten o’clock. He didn’t mention any meetings, and it’s too early for lunch.”
I knocked one more time, harder than before, and Ms. Patty popped up behind us.
“He’s gone,” she said, startling both me and Miriam. “Sorry, ladies. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Did you say Jeffrey is gone?” I asked.
“I saw him leave a few minutes after Thomas came out of his office.” She pointed to the meeting room across the hall. “I watched him through the doorway. He had his trench coat and briefcase in hand so I assume he left for the day.”
Miriam and I stared at each other.
“He knew we’d come down, didn’t he?”
A muscle twitched in my jaw as I nodded. “I’m sure of it. If he planned to save the programs, he wouldn’t have had any reason to avoid us.”
“Save the programs?” Patty repeated.
This was not set in stone, and the last thing we needed was to start an uproar from the parents who counted on us.
“It’s nothing,” I said. “Just some internal library stuff.” Shoving Miriam into motion, I pushed her back to the stairs. “The kids should start coming in any minute. I’ll be back down as soon as I take care of one thing upstairs.”
Patty didn’t respond as we hurried away.
“What are we going to do?” Miriam mumbled loud enough for only me to hear.
“Exactly what I said before. Going over his head.”
“Jeffrey isn’t going to like that.”
“Good,” I snapped. “Maybe he’ll quit in protest.”
Of all the days for me not to be able to play in a game, this was the worst, because by the time I reached the field, I was running on raw fury. Did I blame Jeffrey alone for cutting the reading program? Absolutely not. I didn’t spend all that time on a report showing exactly where funds could be saved and where cutting would be a mistake to be completely ignored.
I expected as much from Jeffrey. He didn’t care about our patrons, especially the kids. At this point, I wasn’t even sure why he took the job. His previous experience was in corporate America, and managing libraries was more about people than the bottom line. The man was the wrong person for the position, but I could fight only one battle at a time and I’d get to that one once the program was saved.
The recommendation I read this morning came straight from Ryan. He’d read a summary that described how much that program benefited underserved children and still recommended letting it go. Who does that?
Because I was still a member of the team, I wore my uniform—the black T-shirt coach handed out at the start of the last practice plus black sweatpants—and planned to sit on the bench, safe in the assumption that Ryan wouldn’t give me the time of day. I would wait until after the game to tell him exactly what I thought of him and his version of consulting.
What I did not expect was for my friends to show up with their bag chairs and tumblers in hand. The drinks looked like soda, but I knew better than to assume at least a few weren’t spiked with something stronger than carbonation.
“Why are you guys here?” I asked as the rest of my team warmed up on the field.
Josie dropped into her navy-blue chair and slid her drink into the cupholder. “Donna filled us in, and we all agreed that you needed our support.”
“I’m not even playing.”
“Not that kind of support,” Lindsey said, fighting to get her chair to sit level. “Where is this hypocritical man?”
“Guys—”
“Is that Fletcher’s girlfriend?” Becca said with awe in her voice.
I turned to see Fiona drop a kiss on Fletcher’s lips before strolling into center field with a smile on her face. Looked like they might work out after all.
“That’s her. Gorgeous, isn’t she?”
Donna used her hand to shield against the setting sun. “Who? Which one is she?”
“Center field,” Josie said.
A second later, Donna whistled. “I need to get that woman on film.”
“I told you.” Returning to the reason they were here, I said, “I don’t need support to deal with Ryan. If anything, he’s going to need protection from me.”
“What did he do now?” Becca asked.
Not wanting to be overheard, I bent down and signaled for them to lean in. “I got the consultant report this morning. He recommended that we cut the children’s program.”
“That bastard,” Lindsey said loud enough for spectators ten feet away to hear.
“Keep it down. I have no plans to make a scene before the game is over.”
“Does that mean there will be a scene after the game?” Donna asked.
I straightened and crossed my arms. “That depends on Ryan. I intend to let him know where he can stick his recommendation. How he responds will determine what comes next.”
Josie made a purring sound. “Claws out and ready to fight. I’m so glad we came.”
The team gathered in the dugout, signaling the game was about to start.
“I need to get in there. It’s sweet that you’re here, but you don’t have to stay.”
“Are you kidding?” Donna said, pulling a bag of corn chips from her purse. “We’re here for the duration, woman.”
“Do you have salsa for those?” Lindsey asked.
Pulling a glass container from her bag, Donna said, “Of course I do.”
“Should I even ask what’s in those cups?” I said.
“Mine is just pop,” Josie said, “I’m the designated driver. I can’t account for the rest of these lushes.”
Donna waved the words away. “A dash of Jack does not make us lushes. The extra bottle in the car for refills might.”
“Just don’t do anything to embarrass me.”
Lindsey loaded salsa onto a chip. “We make no promises.”
Returning to the dugout, I couldn’t help but laugh. No matter how crappy my life was, I always had the girls to make me smile. Man, I loved them. They were my family, and I wouldn’t trade them for all the mothers in the world.
The bravado I’d shown with the girls waned a bit once I was in the same space with Ryan. As I’d assumed, he pretended I wasn’t there. Fine by me. Or so I told myself. In truth, the slight hurt more than I liked, but this was no longer about my personal life. This was about my job and the kids I had to fight for.
Also as expected, we beat the other team with no problem. A little disappointing considering I had nothing to do with it. Not that I wanted us to lose, or that I thought I was such a crucial player that they couldn’t win without me. I just wished my replacement hadn’t been quite so good. Brenda Marsh had been pulled in from the outfield and played well enough for me to wonder if I’d have to compete for the position once I came back.
Tempted to tell Coach I was good to go right away, I flexed my ankle and pain shot up my shin. The temptation went away.
By the seventh inning, we were up by ten runs and the game ended there. Handshakes were exchanged, gear packed up, and my stomach churned with nerves. Was I really going to do this? I pictured Ruby’s face, beautiful and imperfect and full of wonder, and I had my answer. The timing had to be just right. Preferably off the field and away from the others. That meant following him to the parking lot and making my stand there.
A bit stalkerish, but the best plan I could come up with.
Coach made the announcement that the team had done well enough for us to skip the Monday practice, but to gather next Wednesday to work out a few kinks and review what we knew about our next opponent. Everyone headed for the parking lot, and I walked out of the dugout to find my friends waiting. Chairs on their shoulders and cups in hand, they were ready to have my back. Ryan walked ahead of me, so I pointed him out as subtly as I could and they got the message. I kept going since I couldn’t let him get too far ahead.
When he reached his car and p
opped the trunk, I knew it was now or never.
Chapter Nineteen
“I need to talk to you,” I said, stepping up to the car.
“There isn’t anything to talk about,” he said, dropping his gear bag in and closing the trunk.
Oh, but there was. “This isn’t about us. This is about the library.”
Ryan crossed his arms and leaned a hip on the car. “What about it?”
“How could you cut a program that is so important?”
Still playing Mr. Nonchalant, he said, “I didn’t cut anything. I made recommendations, which is my job to do. What they choose to cut or keep is up to them.”
He would not get off that easy. “You knew when you made that list what would happen. Don’t try to absolve yourself of the responsibility now. Those kids need our program.”
“What kids?”
Red-hot fury raced through my veins. Did he really care so little about what I did that he didn’t even remember his own report?
“The kids who rely on my library’s reading program. The ones who need a safe space after school. The ones who need educational resources they can’t get anywhere else. The ones you clearly don’t give a crap about, you heartless jerk.”
Ryan straightened and held up his hands. “Hold on. The information I was given said participation in that program had dropped to the point that only one or two children came in per week. The summary also said personnel were often being paid to sit in an empty room when the kids didn’t show at all. That’s what my decision was based on. Are you saying that isn’t the case?”
None of that was true. “We have a full room several days a week. Many of them come from struggling families and attend underfunded schools. Plus, other than our staff, who would be on the clock either way, adults who come specifically to help the program are volunteers. They aren’t costing the library a penny.” So that he couldn’t get away with his bogus claim, I added, “All of which I put in my report, so I know you had the facts.”
“I don’t know anything about your report, but the documentation Jeffrey Chamberlain provided looked nothing like what you just described.”