Love Again

by Paula Mowery

The call ended and Jenna stood, stumbling into the kitchen in a daze. She trusted and respected Pastor Rick. He had so expertly counseled her about her mother’s cancer. He had prayed with her. Was it all a good acting performance?

  “Hey, you. Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.”

  Jenna’s head jerked toward Shawna. “I’m not sure.” She shuffled to the couch and plopped down. “You better sit down for this.” Jenna proceeded to tell Shawna what she knew.

  Shawna shook her head. “Wow. That man baptized me.”

  Betrayal screamed in Jenna’s head. Her heart hurt for Rick’s family. How would she be able to assure the church congregation with the emotions rushing through her? Maybe her fellow ministers could bolster her so she might find a way. Her Christian education had not prepared her for this scenario.

  * * *

  Ben entered the church with a child clinging to each hand. They chattered back and forth. He preferred to be oblivious to what he’d learned last evening about the pastor. They neared the children’s wing. He caught sight of Jenna. Her gaze met his and the pain radiated in her eyes. She managed a small smile.

  “How are you?”

  She shook her head slightly. “I’m not sure.”

  A tug on his hand distracted him from Jenna’s face. “Daddy, I need to get to my class. I know my memory verse.” Dakota’s voice shook with a hint of anxiety.

  “Okay, buddy.” Ben glanced back at Jenna. “I’ll be right back.”

  She nodded.

  Word of Pastor Rick’s improprieties had spread. The atmosphere hung heavy like dark clouds. Small groups of adults huddled in the hallway, talking in low, dejected tones. An outsider might guess a death had caused all the downhearted expressions.

  Returning to Jenna, her slumped shoulders and sad eyes made Ben wish he could take her in his arms. Instead, he positioned himself beside her and lowered his voice. “Join us for lunch?”

  She nodded. “Where should I meet you?”

  “My parent’s house.”

  Jenna’s head whipped around, eyes wide. She shook her head. “I don’t want to intrude.”

  “You won’t be intruding. And anyway, I already told my mother you were coming.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “You did, did you?”

  He flashed a sheepish grin. “Um…yeah. She’s looking forward to it.”

  A smile spread across her face. “Okay, for your mother.”

  * * *

  Jenna marched to the Jacobsen’s front door and knocked. She swiped clammy hands down her skirt.

  The door opened to a smiling Ben and a bouncy Avery. “Miss Jenna, Miss Jenna.” Avery grabbed Jenna’s hand and tugged. “I want you to see my room.”

  Ben placed a hand on Avery’s shoulder. “Later, sweetheart. Nana has lunch ready.”

  Avery’s bottom lip poked out. Jenna crouched to look her in the eyes. “I won’t leave until I’ve seen your room.”

  Avery’s smile returned.

  The jittery feeling in Jenna’s stomach subsided moments into their meal. Ben’s parents exuded an irresistible charm so like their son.

  “Jenna dear, Ben told me about your mother. I’m a breast cancer survivor myself. Would it be all right if I sent her a card?”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll make sure to leave you the address. Thank you, Mrs. Jacobsen.”

  “Twila.”

  “Twila?” Dakota’s head jerked toward his grandmother and his nose wrinkled.

  The adults chuckled.

  Twila glared directly at Dakota, head tilted. “That’s Nana to you.”

  “You’re going back for the surgery soon, right?” Ben’s eyes held a sadness.

  “Yes, I feel like I need to be there.” Jenna diverted her gaze to her plate. “With what’s happening at the church, it’s not the best timing.”

  “Don’t let that get you down.” Mr. Jacobsen’s baritone voice chimed in. “This too shall pass.”

  She looked up into his pleasant face and couldn’t help smiling at his encouragement.

  “You won’t be gone long, right?” Ben said.

  Jenna gazed into his blue eyes and shrugged. “I just don’t know. I’m not sure how much help she might need.”

  A knock at the front door drew their attention. Ben excused himself and returned with an opulent couple.

  Ben peered into Jenna’s eyes. “This is Mr. and Mrs. Anderson—Dakota and Avery’s Granddad and Grandma. This is Jenna Campbell, the children’s minister.”

  Jenna extended her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  Mr. Anderson barely touched her hand, and Mrs. Anderson simply nodded. The tension thickened like fog over the Smoky Mountains.

  “Are the children ready?” Mrs. Anderson’s tone was cold.

  “I can’t go yet, Grandma. Miss Jenna hasn’t seen my room,” Avery said.

  Jenna fumbled with her reply. “That’s okay. Maybe I can see it another time.”

  Avery crossed her arms over her chest dramatically. “You promised.”

  Jenna looked to Ben.

  He met her gaze. “If Miss Jenna doesn’t mind, you could show her now before you go with Granddad and Grandma?”

  Jenna looked back at Avery. “I don’t mind. Want to show me now?”

  “Okay.” Avery hopped up and grabbed Jenna’s hand.

  Jenna was happy to leave the dining room. The cold looks being exchanged were enough to send a shiver down her spine.

  * * *

  Ben was anxious for his in-laws to return to Florida. Their scrutiny unnerved him. Why couldn’t they visit the kids without belittling him? He didn’t need any help being hard on himself. He wished to make a life for his children and himself. Their rude reaction to Jenna made his blood boil. Were they trying to make him feel guilty? It’s not as if he had chosen Jenna over their daughter. Alyssa was gone. He’d give anything if she weren’t, but she would never return.

  * * *

  Ben and Jenna sat in his parent’s sunroom. He admired her as she settled into the cushioned settee across from him. She glanced up, catching his eyes on her. Was she blushing?

  A cloud came over her face. “I’m sorry if I caused you trouble being here. I would never want …” Her voice trailed off.

  Ben spotted a single tear sliding down her cheek. He stood and joined her on the settee. His hand cupped her cheek, and he wiped the tear with his thumb. “Please don’t let them upset you. I’m sorry for their rudeness. If it’s any consolation, they’ve always treated me with a coldness.”

  Jenna’s brow crinkled. “Why?”

  “I wasn’t good enough for their daughter, and on top of that, I took her all the way to California.” He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her near.

  She laid her head on his shoulder. He sensed a warmth and comfort with Jenna tucked at his side. Despite the Anderson’s accusatory reaction toward her, a peace settled over Ben.

  Yet, inside, his heart beat with a growing love he thought he would never experience a second time. Could he risk giving his heart away again?

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Jenna’s heart stretched like a tug-o-war battle as her new home in Myrtle Beach disappeared in the rearview mirror. Her cell phone rang, and she snatched it from the passenger seat, keeping her eyes on the road. “Hello?”

  “Jenna, it’s Ben.”

  Her stomach fluttered. “Hey, Ben.”

  “Are you on the road?”

  “Just headed out.”

  “I won’t keep you. Be safe and hurry back, okay?”

  “I’ll try my best.”

  “Please call or text anytime, and keep me updated. And, Jenna, do you mind letting me know when you arrive?”

  “I will.” Tears threatened.

  The call ended and Jenna sighed. Why did this trip home feel like the worst timing? But her chest cinched with guilt to even consider not going to her mother.

  The trip crept by in slow motion. Her back ached and her shoulders slumped. Finally, she pulled into her parent�
��s driveway in Tennessee.

  Her father met her halfway up the sidewalk. “Hey, girl, let me take that.” He planted a kiss on her forehead and grabbed her suitcase.

  Mom embraced her as soon as she cleared the threshold. She pulled back, still holding Jenna’s shoulders. “It’s good to see you. But I hate that you left your new job.”

  Jenna laid an arm across her mother’s shoulders. “Mom, don’t worry about it.”

  “I put your suitcase in the guest room upstairs. How about a soda?” Dad called over his shoulder as he wandered toward the kitchen.

  “A soda would be great.” She walked arm-in-arm with her mother.

  They slid into the breakfast nook across from her father. Mother folded her hands in her lap and faced Jenna. “Now, I want to know all about your new job.”

  “Well, so far, I’ve been mostly involved in the weekday preschool program. I’ve met with all of the children’s Sunday school teachers as well as their Wednesday evening programs. I’m just getting started studying the summer day camp program they have in place.”

  “They must have a passel of kids to support all those programs.” Dad’s eyes widened.

  “Yeah, they were definitely ready for a full-time children’s minister.”

  Dad folded his arms over his chest and grinned. “So, how’s that new children’s minister doing?” He winked.

  “I guess okay.” Jenna shrugged. “Ben has been particularly grateful.” She pressed her lips together.

  “Ben? Who’s Ben?” Mom’s brows rose.

  “One of the parents.” Heat flushed her cheeks.

  “One of the parents, huh? Tell me about this Ben.”

  “His daughter, Avery, started the preschool program and was a little reluctant, so we became buddies.”

  Her mother tilted her head. “And?”

  Jenna rolled her eyes. “His name is Ben Jacobsen. He’s a former Marine.” She spelled out the basics about Ben. “His parents are really nice. Shawna actually works with his dad.”

  “You’ve met his parents?” Dad cocked an eyebrow.

  Jenna bit her bottom lip. She blew out a breath and relaxed her shoulders. “I really like him. He’s considerate, a great dad. Oh, I forgot to let him know I made it.”

  The doorbell clanged. They exchanged glances.

  Her father stood. “I don’t think we were expecting anyone. I’ll be right back.”

  Mom propped her elbow on the table and cradled her chin in her palm. “So, tell me more about Ben.”

  Jenna giggled. “He looks so handsome in his uniform.”

  “Well, I knew you’d be back.” Peter rounded the corner into the kitchen.

  Jenna’s stomach knotted. “Peter, what are you doing here?”

  “I noticed your car. I’m glad you came to your senses. I mean, running off to Myrtle Beach? Please.”

  Jenna held up her hands in an effort to stop him. “Peter, I’m home for Mom’s surgery. I’m not home for good.”

  Peter shook his head. “Jenna, let me take you to dinner.”

  Jenna’s cell phone rang. She glanced at the screen. “One minute. I need to take this. Ben?”

  Peter’s eyes bulged and his mouth fell open.

  “Jenna, I hope I’m not interrupting.”

  He had no idea. “No, I’m sorry I haven’t called yet. I got caught up talking with Mom and Dad.”

  “I’m glad you’re safely there. I won’t keep you. Tell your mother we’re praying for her and you.”

  “Thanks. Talk to you again soon.”

  Peter propped his fists on his hips. “Who was that?”

  Dad cleared his throat. “Peter, we need to be preparing for tomorrow. We have to be at the hospital early.” Her father spoke in a firm voice and gestured toward the exit.

  Go, Dad.

  Peter stomped out, sporting a bewildered expression. When Jenna’s father returned to the kitchen, she burst into a fit of laughter. She finally got under control. “Thank you, Dad.”

  “That young man needs a dose of selflessness. Lord, forgive me for judging.” Dad glanced heavenward.

  “That was Ben on the phone?” Her mother pursed her lips.

  “He wanted to make sure I arrived safely. As I said, his wife was killed in a car accident. I wonder if he thinks about that often?”

  Her dad patted her hand. “Anybody concerned for my girl’s well-being is pretty fine in my book.”

  “Mom, do you have everything ready that you need to take in the morning?” Probably a silly question for her always put-together mother, but the focus needed to be returned to her.

  “Yes, I have my things all together. I’m ready to get it done and go back to normal life. I mean, we need to come visit you.”

  “Yes, you must come. I can’t wait to show you around.”

  “And introduce me to your handsome uniformed officer.” Mom grinned and her eyes held mischief.

  Jenna shook her head. “I don’t know. On second thought…” She giggled.

  Soon the threesome turned in for the evening, dreading the early wake-up time. Though Jenna should have been exhausted enough to fall right to sleep, she stared at the red numbers on the alarm clock for a long time. She finally turned her back to the reminder that she was losing precious sleep time. Still, she only dozed off and on until the buzzer ended her hope for rest.

  She shuffled to the shower, wishing it might magically revive her. After getting ready, her body continued to feel weighted down by weariness. But she would be upbeat. Her mother deserved that.

  She marched downstairs and met two pairs of tired eyes surrounded by dark circles resembling her own. Guess I wasn’t the only one restless last night. “Morning.”

  “Morning, dear.” Her mother’s voice held the same sweet tone.

  “Jen, I was thinking that we’d get your mom settled and then we would go to the cafeteria for breakfast. Just can’t bring myself to eat in front of her since she can’t have anything.”

  “That’s fine, Dad. It’s a little too early for me to even think about food.” She winced and shuddered for emphasis.

  The ride to the hospital was unusually quiet for the three of them. Jenna couldn’t quite come up with anything inspiring to say, so she kept silent.

  Light conversation ruled until her mother was readied for surgery. Her father grasped hands with Jenna and Mom and launched into a powerful prayer. Jenna’s eyes blurred with tears, but she banned them from spilling over until reaching the hallway. She swiped a finger under each eye and inhaled, letting the air out slowly, willing tension from her shoulders.

  Her father followed her into the hall soon after. He pulled her into a hug, and she leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. Easing her back, he looked into her eyes. “Let’s go get some breakfast. I need some coffee.”

  Jenna nodded. She wrapped her hand through his offered arm.

  At a table in the hospital cafeteria, Jenna picked at a Danish and sipped her diet soda. “Dad, there’s been a real tragedy at the church.”

  Her father’s eyes widened. “Oh, what is it?”

  Jenna spilled out the details of the pastor leaving his wife and family for another woman. “The staff is doing a great job filling in and trying to keep up the morale of the congregation. It was just such a shock.”

  “Jen, this is a hard time to be in the ministry. Satan will definitely find any weakness and pull hard to tear down men and women of God. It has a ripple effect, unfortunately.”

  “I don’t want the people to lose heart or faith. I know I’ve been battling against these things already.”

  “You never know if, like Esther, you are there at just this time to help in this situation.”

  Jenna shrugged. “I’m not sure what I can do that would be that important.”

  “Don’t ever underestimate how God can use you. By standing by and supporting the other staff, you’re helping. By keeping that children’s ministry going despite the office of the pastor being vacated, you’re hel
ping.”

  Jenna hadn’t really thought about the situation that way. Her father was right. No matter what else happened, her job was to minister to those children and their families. She sat up straighter, empowered again in her calling.

  They dumped their trash and strolled back to the surgical waiting-lounge. She retrieved a paperback novel from her purse and struggled to concentrate on the words. Her eyes grew heavy, and she resorted to resting them by leaning her head back on the chair and closing her eyes.

  A tap on her knee jolted her. Her father stood over her. “Hon, the doctor wants to let us know how the surgery went.”

  Jenna jumped to her feet and nodded.

  “The surgery went fine. Mrs. Campbell did great. She’ll be in recovery for a bit longer and then transferred upstairs. You can ask the lady there at the desk for the room number.”

  Jenna’s father extended his hand. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jenna stared at her mother sleeping in the hospital bed. She stirred, and her eyes fluttered open. Jenna stood. “Mom?”

  Her mother’s lips curved in a weak smile. “Jenna. Did everything go okay?”

  Jenna nodded. Her father joined her, standing by the bed. “Yes, honey, the doctor was pleased.”

  A nurse whisked in, balancing a large vase filled with colorful flowers. “These arrived for you, Mrs. Campbell.” She looked at Jenna and her dad. “There’s a card attached.” Then the nurse breezed back out.

  Her mother lifted her head slightly. “Are they from you, dear?” She gazed at her husband.

  “Nope. Not this time.” He reached into the greenery and pulled out the card. “Praying for you. Ben Jacobsen.”

  Jenna’s mouth flew open.

  “What a kind gesture. I’m liking this man already.” Her mother stifled a laugh, wincing. “Please thank him.”

  “Of course.” Jenna grabbed her cell phone and texted a thank you to Ben, including the update she’d promised him.

  He sent a response immediately. Glad the surgery went well. Hope she enjoys the flowers. Miss you. As she read the last two words, her chest warmed.

  * * *

  Ben stared a moment longer at his cell phone. It was no lie. He missed Jenna. Had he determined whether his growing feelings for her were right? No. Would he dishonor his wife if he fell in love again? He wasn’t sure about that either.