by Paula Mowery
Ben’s eyes burned with tears. “But you’re right. I haven’t dealt with it. I dove right into being a single father and providing for my family.” He jumped to his feet. “Thanks, Dad. I knew you’d put it to me straight.”
His dad rose and laid his arm across Ben’s shoulders. “Are you all right?”
“I will be.” He wrapped his arm around his dad and squeezed him in a side hug.
He raced to his car and hurried home, scrambling into the attic. Glancing at his watch, two hours remained before he needed to pick up the kids. Pulling a box labeled ‘Christmas’ to the middle of the floor, he knelt and opened the top. He dug through until he found a small white carton with the words, ‘First Christmas.’
Ben swallowed and tugged the lid loose and eased the protective wrap out, unfurling it. A much younger couple with hopes and dreams sparkling from their eyes stared back at him. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He swiped at them with the back of his hand.
“I really loved you. God knows I did.”
He flipped the ornament frame over and an inscription caught his attention. ’Til death, alone, parts us. A chill ran up his arms. He bent his head and shook with sobs. After several moments, he rubbed his sweatshirt sleeve across his face.
“That’s the only reason I can have feelings for another.” He shoved the ornament back inside the box. “I didn’t think this was in the plan, God. But I trust You. I have to.”
Ben glimpsed his watch. He would have just enough time to see Jenna before he picked up Avery.
He dashed to his car and struggled not to speed to the church. The woman at the front desk looked up and smiled. “Can I help you?”
“Yes. Is Miss Jenna in her office? I need to speak with her.” He started toward her office.
“Mr. Jacobsen, she’s in a meeting. I’m sorry. And I’m afraid I don’t know how long it will be. It was called suddenly. Do you want me to leave her a message?”
“Um, no. I’ll get in touch with her. Thanks.”
* * *
Jenna settled into a conference room chair. Her body trembled in anticipation of what the deacon chairman would say today. Would she be looking for another job after this meeting?
“I’m sorry to call you all together so quickly, but I felt you would want to know as soon as possible.” George smiled.
Jenna’s stomach knotted.
“The pastoral search committee has decided that the candidate they extended a call to was not the right person. When they contacted him, he was planning to cancel because he was feeling the same way from his end.”
A concerted sigh sounded from the staff members around the table, and they burst into a hearty laugh. Some of the tension released from Jenna’s shoulders.
George cleared his throat. “And furthermore, the committee couldn’t consider losing the fine staff we have here. We only want you people to leave when God calls you to.”
The meeting dismissed, and Jenna hurried back to her post, supervising child pick-ups. Avery was already gone. In light of the news about her job being secure, she should have been happy. But could she stay if Ben and she were at odds?
She returned to her office and punched the number for her father. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, how’s my favorite children’s minister?”
“Pretty good. They aren’t calling that pastor. The committee didn’t want to lose their staff.”
“That’s great, honey. But you don’t sound too excited.”
“Sorry. Ben and I had a little disagreement. No, a big one. I’m not sure where we stand right now.”
“You two can work it out.”
“I don’t know, Dad. I’m not sure about anything right now.”
“Your mom wanted me to tell you that you shouldn’t have any more problems from Peter.”
“Oh?”
“Seems he’s found another poor girl. There I go again, judging.”
“That is a relief.”
“Everything’s going to work out, sweetheart. God’s got the plan.”
“Thanks, Dad. Love you. Tell Mom I love her.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Jenna trudged through the front door of the apartment. “Shawna, I’m home.”
Her roommate peeked over the counter from the kitchen. “You’re not dining at the Jacobsen’s residence tonight?” She grinned.
“Nope. I’m not sure I’ll ever be invited back there. I’m not even sure I’m staying here even though my job is safe.”
Shawna’s brow knitted and she stepped into the living room. “Please rewind and catch me up.”
“I found out today that none of us staff will lose our jobs. The pastoral candidate didn’t pan out.”
“That’s great news. Isn’t it?”
“It should be, except for the disagreement I had with Ben last night.”
A firm knock on the door jolted her. She flipped around and peered through the peep-hole. “It’s Ben,” she whispered.
“Well, open the door.” Shawna disappeared back into the kitchen.
Jenna breathed in deep and let it out then she tugged the door open. Ben stood on the threshold, clutching a large bouquet of roses. “I’m sorry. Can we talk?”
She couldn’t resist his puppy-dog eyes. “Come on in.”
He thrust the flowers at her. “These are for you.”
“Thanks. They’re beautiful.”
“Jenna, I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you. I had a little talk with my dad and realized that I hadn’t dealt with my grief. But I’m back on track.”
“We don’t have to do this.” Tears threatened, but she blinked them back.
He took the flowers from her and laid them on the end table, then he grasped both her hands. “Yes, we do have to do this. I have to tell you how I feel.” He stepped closer. “I can honestly say I’ve only loved two women. I loved Alyssa, but death parted us. And, Jenna Campbell, I love you. Please stick with me.”
She mashed her lips together to stop their quivering. “I love you, too. I’m sorry. I never meant to step over the line.”
He pressed a finger to her lips. “You didn’t step over any line. You were right. If I really want to make a life for my children, I have to have those traditions.” He squeezed her hands. “Will you help me? Come for Thanksgiving and decorate with us?”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.” His arms encircled her waist. “And let’s do Christmas. Your parents, my parents. How about it?”
“Yes. She says yes,” Shawna’s voice called from the kitchen.
Ben chuckled and glanced toward the kitchen. “And that roommate of yours can come too, if she wants.”
“I accept,” she called out. “Tell him your good news.”
Ben looked her in the eyes. “You have good news?”
“I won’t be losing my job.”
“That’s fantastic. No way could they get rid of Miss Jenna.” He cupped her cheeks between his hands. “I don’t want to lose you either. If we’re sharing good news, I should tell you that the Andersons have dropped their pursuit of custody of the kids.”
“That’s great news. What happened? I thought they were so determined.”
“I’m not completely sure. I got a letter informing me they had come to their senses and please to not block them from seeing the kids after their mistake.”
“I’m glad that worked out.”
“Yes, well, I don’t want to make a mistake either by driving you away.” His lips brushed hers.
The familiar tingle rushed through her. He eased her head onto his chest and she snuggled up.
“Have you eaten?” He massaged her back.
She shook her head and then raised it to look at him.
“Do you mind chicken nuggets with me and the kids?”
She giggled. “Sounds divine.”
“Bring me a milkshake?” Shawna called again from the kitchen.
“Just come on with us,” Ben said.
Shawna stepped i
nto the living room. “You don’t mind?”
Ben motioned her over. “The more, the merrier.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jenna’s nerves matched the children’s as they lined up on the stage to sing at the Christmas Eve service. She took her place on the front pew as the choir leader led the songs. The sweet voices raised in praise of Jesus’ birth moved her. She swiped a finger under each eye to stop the tears from running down her face.
At the conclusion, she returned to the pew four rows back with Avery and Dakota, each clutching one of her hands. As the associate minister shared a Christmas devotion, Jenna glanced down the row. Her parents sat nearest her and Ben’s parents were on the other side of him.
The congregation stood and the music director dismissed them with a hearty, Merry Christmas.
Ben touched her elbow. “Remember, ten o’clock tomorrow for brunch at my house. Mom’s cooking.” He chuckled.
“You’re sure we can’t bring something? My mother is having a conniption. She always contributes when she goes some place to eat.”
“Nope. She just needs to chill and enjoy herself.” He brushed a kiss on her cheek.
When he walked off down the aisle, Jenna touched the spot he had kissed. That was the first time Ben had shown affection in public.
She shuffled the rest of the way out of the pew and waited for her parents to follow. A giggle escaped due to her anticipation for tomorrow. She wanted everything to go perfectly with the two families. Her parents had met his, but they hadn’t really interacted yet. They would like each other, right? Why did she have butterflies in her stomach? This was just two families spending Christmas together. Or was it?
Jenna and her parents talked until after midnight, and then she rushed to her apartment to sleep. Her excitement kept her from experiencing a deep sleep. She jumped up early the next morning and woke Shawna with a bright and unappreciated, “Good morning.”
Shawna barely opened her eyes and moaned.
“Come on, sleepyhead.”
“A little eager?” Shawna mumbled.
“Well, it is Christmas.”
“I think there’s more to it than that.” Her roommate sat up and eyed her.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Jenna rushed back to her room.
Soon, the two hopped into the car and drove to the hotel to pick up Jenna’s parents. Her mother emerged with a box of pastries.
“Mom, what is that?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I just couldn’t go empty-handed. This is a little box of assorted pastries.”
Jenna shook her head.
She pulled the car into Ben’s driveway at 9:40. He wouldn’t mind if they were a few minutes early. The front door sprang open and Avery and Dakota shot out and grabbed Jenna’s hands, pulling her inside. Both chattered about what Santa had left for them.
She calmed the two momentarily to introduce her parents again. Her mother hurried over to offer her box to Ben’s mother.
“You didn’t have to do that. I told Ben to make sure you knew,” Mrs. Jacobsen said.
“I know. But it is the least I can do. Do you need any help?”
“I was just finishing up.” Mrs. Jacobsen’s voice trailed off as the two mothers disappeared into the kitchen.
A warm hand on Jenna’s back sent prickles over her. She turned face to face with Ben.
“Merry Christmas.” His voice was low.
“Merry Christmas to you. Thank you for letting us come.”
“I would have it no other way.” The strong emotion radiating from his eyes bumped up her pulse.
“Miss Jenna, Santa left you a present.” Avery’s voice rang out with a sing-song lilt.
“Really?” She moved toward the tree.
Ben’s hand restrained her. “You’ll have to wait until we open gifts. After brunch.” He winked.
What was he up to?
Brunch was a bustling of food passing and talking. Laughter rang throughout, and Jenna felt her heart would burst.
The children wouldn’t allow time to clean up the dishes. They were too eager to open gifts.
They all found a seat in the living room. Avery and Dakota opened several boxes and hugged the giver after each one.
“Okay, kids, time for Miss Jenna’s,” Ben announced.
Avery skipped over to the tree and pulled out a small package then sprinted back to Jenna, thrusting it toward her. “Go ahead, open it.” Avery stood in front of Jenna, wiggling with excitement.
Jenna tore the paper and lifted the lid. A key. “She looked up at Ben.”
“It’s a house key.”
Dakota shoved another slightly bigger box at her. “Here. Now this one.”
Jenna’s hand shook slightly. What was this all about? In this box, she found a garage door opener.
Dakota turned to his dad. “Okay, your turn, Daddy.”
Ben strolled over and stopped right in front of Jenna. He knelt down on one knee and Jenna’s breath caught in her throat. “Jenna Campbell, I didn’t know if I’d ever love again, but then God brought you into my life. Into our lives.” He gestured toward the kids and refocused his gaze into her eyes. “Jenna, I love you. Will you marry me?”
Jenna covered her gaping mouth with both hands. She glanced at her parents. Her father nodded. Her mother swiped at tears but smiled. She turned back to Ben and looked him in the eyes. “Yes. I love you, too.”
Ben popped open the small velvet box he held and slid a sparkling diamond onto her finger. She hardly noticed it. She couldn’t take her eyes from Ben’s.
Movement in her peripheral caught her attention. Avery stood on tiptoes, holding mistletoe. “Okay, Daddy, kiss her.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Ben stood and reached for her hand, pulling her to standing. He grinned, wrapped his arms around her waist, and dipped her, pressing his lips to hers. They laughed. When they stood upright again, he brushed her lips with another kiss.
“I’m glad you decided to celebrate Christmas after all.” Jenna grabbed his hand and squeezed.
Arms wrapped around their legs. “Me too,” Dakota said.
“And me too.” Avery looked up and grinned.
Jenna picked up the little girl and Ben hoisted Dakota.
“Group hug.” Jenna pushed in.
“Family hug.” Ben winked at her.
Please enjoy this sample from Fragile Blessings by Susan Baganz, available from Prism Book Group!
Lily cried out and rolled over, grasping for her husband. Pain ripped through her entire body, freezing her in place. Waves of hot and cold washed over her all at once.
“Hmmmm?” Her husband managed to respond through a snore as he rolled away from her, taking most of the quilt with him.
“Grant!” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Help me.” She latched onto his arm and clenched the solid muscle underneath the flannel nightshirt with as much force as she experienced across her midsection.
He sat up and turned towards her.
“The baby?”
She nodded, panic radiating from her. He paled.
“It’s not time.”
Leave it to him to state the obvious. “Ride for Mrs. Hughes.”
He rose and started to dress. “I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
“Jack...” she gasped. Her breaths were shallow and rapid.
“He’s a dog. What good will he be to you?” They both glanced to the foot of the bed where the black and white mutt raised his head to consider his humans as his long tail slapped the quilt.
“He will be a comfort and protection. Please hurry, Grant. Fetch the midwife.”
Grant finished dressing, leaned over his wife of two years, and kissed her on the forehead. “Anything else I can do for you before I leave?”
“No. Just go.”
He started for the door.
“And pray, Grant. Oh, please pray!”
He nodded as he shoved his feet into his boots. A jacket and hat followed and he slapped his lea
ther gloves into his hands as he headed out the door into the moonlit night.
* * *
Grant didn’t bother saddling Molly, his most reliable mare. He threw on the bridal harness and pulled himself onto her back. He headed down the dirt path from their house to the main road leading towards Mrs. Hughes home, closer to town. The rhythmic song of the crickets was a backdrop to the trotting of his horse as he navigated the muddy, pitted roads. He prayed for his wife, for their child, and that he would make it back to Lily in time.
He restrained the urge to travel faster as he traversed the roads. He was a man of action but risking his horse coming up lame was not a gamble he would willingly take. Especially when the lives of his wife and child, hung in the balance.
Thoughts of self-doubt assailed him. His family wanted him to settle closer to them. His mother would have gladly helped them. Was he selfish in his desire to establish his own homestead? To carve out his place in the Wisconsin bluffs where he could shine God’s love to his neighbors and share his faith as he farmed his land?
The other farm families claimed religion, but some built round barns to keep out evil spirits. People of the earth who would greet one kindly in town and then speak slander behind his back because he didn’t hold to their brand of religion. Even his in-laws sought to undermine his courtship of their daughter. While Lily’s father accepted him as a potential husband, her mother refused to do so.
Grant’s mind came back to the present as the wind buffeted him and Molly. It was only a short distance further to the farm, where the midwife lived with her husband. He hoped she was home, but where else would she be in the middle of the night? He wanted to kick himself for not hooking up the wagon. He would be thrilled to come back to find this was a nightmare and his bride slept peacefully. He would wake up to see her there and draw her into his arms as he often did, and revel in God’s grace in providing him with his heart’s desire.
He spied the house in the distance. All the lights were out except one. He pushed forward as rain poured from the sky. Combined with an increase in the wind buffeting his face, he shook his head, grateful that Lily suggested he grow out his beard in the fall to help protect him from the elements when he had to work outdoors. God blessed him with a wonderful wife. Aft times it tickled and prickled her, but she would only smile that special way of hers and tenderly stroke the facial hair as if it were her most favorite thing about him. He was certain it wasn’t.