“I don’t forget Alexander.” He pushes himself up and stands in front of a window.
Bringing up Sophia stoked a smoldering pile of coals. Perhaps he didn’t forget what it feels like to be in love and understands me a little better at the moment.
Heavy snow blankets the grounds of his sprawling estate and I don’t like to be away from Elizabeth this long. “Francisco, please. Please help me.”
He shakes his head. “All I can do is give you permission to turn the human, if—”
I push Francisco up against the wall erasing whatever favors I just earned. His suggestion is that I kill Elizabeth. I was once human, I know I’m not the same. She wouldn’t be either.
“Christiana said you threatened her with Loren. Do you plan to do the same with me?”
“You are all leaving me no choice.” After I get under control, I release him and mumble, “And I didn’t threaten her. I said I would get word to him that I was being forced to mate.”
“Do you even know where your maker is now?” He smooths his dark hair.
“I honestly don’t know.” I won’t get trapped in a lie.
“That is interesting, because I do.”
I take the news with a strong dose of angst. “I don’t want him to fight my battles.” I didn’t ask him to get me out from Christiana’s clutches the first time and I won’t do so now. “But if you found him, I’m certain I can.”
“I didn’t find him. I was made aware of his location. He’s coming dangerously close to crossing a line.”
“What— What do you mean?”
“He’s been chasing that rogue he made before you.”
“Julianna?” The only woman Loren hasn’t been able to bed. “What’s wrong with him wanting to find her?”
“She’s been marked for abduction by New York. She’s not human. She’s not vampire. We don’t know what she is. That makes her dangerous.”
Somewhere Francisco got the intel on Julianna that when Loren tried to turn her to save her life she didn’t wake up. Thinking his essence hadn’t penetrated to make her vampire because of her injuries, he left to get supplies to save her with medicine and not venom. She disappeared on him and when he finally found her, she hadn’t aged, but she wasn’t fully vampire, either.
New York classified her as a rogue and sent out their spies to find her. It must be serious this time if Loren is involved.
He’ll start a war for her. He made her. Sires protect their progeny. At all costs.
Some cost. Loren vs New York. I shudder. That would put me in the middle. All the more reason not to be Philadelphia’s second. I would be obligated to stand against Loren.
I scoff. Not likely.
“There are so few of us walking this earth right now.” Francisco speaks when I go quiet and stay inside my head thinking about Loren and Julianna. “It’s not a time to pick fights. We must stick together.” He bends his hand into a claw. “We have the means to maintain our existences and live in this world, participate to an extent and even be, dare I say, happy.”
“Right. Make me mate with Christiana and I promise you I will not be happy. I can’t see how a miserable vampire does anyone any good.”
“What are you plans for this human, Alexander?” Francisco rubs his chin.
I open my mouth and an answer comes directly into my brain, but I can’t speak it. It’s good he can’t read my mind or he’d laugh at me. A flash of humanity showed me a life with Elizabeth and Annie somewhere, I can’t place it. Like a dream when I used to sleep that I’m in a house. I know now it’s actually Elizabeth’s house. She is there, a school bus waits outside and it’s me who walks Annie to the curb to put her on.
In the here and now, I shake my head. “I know you want to make her the focus of my reluctance. Since you know so much about everything, you know I only just met her. Even without Elizabeth, I never would want to mate with Christiana.”
“I understand.” Francisco steps toward me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I do not want discord between us. If this human has only been in your life a short time, you should not make decisions that will affect centuries around someone who will only be on this earth a few more decades.”
“Would you give me decades?” I ask, stunned.
With darkened eyes, he answers, “Christiana is in command of an important allegiant. It’s not for me to tell her she must wait. Alexander, what you are contemplating is madness.”
Francisco is right. I can’t think straight. It can be argued I’m thinking with my dick. No. I’m thinking with my heart.
A heart that has not beat with human blood since Loren drained me.
Chapter 18
I am home exactly five minutes when Stephen drops off Annie.
I’m grateful, however. Left alone to think, I’ll melt into a puddle of fear and panic. When she arrives, I hug my daughter’s tiny body until she squirms in protest.
“Go brush your teeth,” I say with a pat on her behind.
After watching her clomp up the stairs, Stephen asks me, “Everything all right?”
“Of course. It’s just late.” I don’t have to say too much else. He didn’t care while we were married.
“Where’s the doctor?” Every once in a while, he turns into the asshole I remember.
“At the hospital. Helping people,” I counter.
Stephen grabs my shoulder fisting my sweater. “And you think what I was doing overseas wasn’t helping people?”
Before I answer, my gaze slides to the doorway. Alex stares at Stephen with murderous eyes and he releases me in an instant. In truth, I stopped blaming Stephen years ago. Too many people came back from that place fucked up.
With a forced smile, I say to my ex, “Go say goodbye to your daughter.”
He nods and climbs the stairs.
Alex’s cold black eyes follow him with his jaw tightly clamped shut. The idea of another man near my bedroom must enrage him. After he smooths his tie, the tell-tale sign he is under control, he asks, “When did they get here?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“Good. I feel better that she’s home to be honest.”
His assertion terrifies me. How much trouble are we in? I’m sharply aware that he has not greeted me with a kiss or even taken me in his arms. Unaware of my needs, Alex sits on the sofa.
I open my mouth to start asking questions, but Stephen returns and fumbles with his keys. “I better get going. It’s a long drive.”
“Drive safe.” Another time or circumstance, I might offer him the couch or the guest bedroom. He’s still Annie’s father.
Stephen offers Alex a pleasant ‘goodnight’, but my vampire only nods. “Talk to you soon, Lizzy,” my ex says and sails out the door, which I have to close.
Alex’s chin props up at the nickname. I shake my head. I hated that name. He was the only one who called me that. Which meant every person on every base we ever lived on called me that. Reinventing myself as Elizabeth was a trivial but satisfying victory.
Alex gapes at me for a moment and then I say, “When were you going to tell me that you have to marry, mate, whatever with someone else?”
“I don’t know. I just found out yesterday morning. Needless to say, I’m still in shock about it.” He spreads his pale hands across his face. “It doesn’t exactly feel real yet.”
“That Francisco seems to think it’s real.”
“Yes, well he and I spoke and—”
“About me?” I was informed by Alex of his dangerously low tolerance for interruptions while he speaks. As a human, it bothered him and it only amplified when he became vampire.
“Yes, and I made it clear that—”
“That Annie is not to be touched, right?” Knowing I have a propensity to interrupt, I used his aversion as an incentive
to rehabilitate my bad habit. I was doing pretty well, up until now.
“Goddamn it, Elizabeth. One horrible thing at a time, okay. Now let me speak.”
“No!” I shout and stomp toward him with clenched fists. “This is about me and I will control this conversation.” I have more to say but a four-foot shadow on the staircase catches my attention.
When I turn, Annie is there. Her eyes go wide with surprise at first, but her face quickly contorts in the familiar shape of when she’s about to cry. Damn it! I rush to her immediately, but I don’t take her in my arms. She needs to learn to be strong. I kneel before her and hold her chin.
“Annie, look at me.” I speak to her softly but also firm. “Ann Elizabeth, open your eyes.”
“Why are you yelling?” she whines as tears track down her red cheeks.
At this, I hold her close and twirl the baby-soft ends of her hair around my fingers. “Because sometimes Mommy is going to yell. Sometimes I’ll yell at you, sometimes at Grandpa. I even yell at my students sometimes.” I feel Alex watching us. With an exhale, I gently pry Annie’s tiny body from mine. “And I’ll even yell at Alex sometimes. It’s okay, Annie.”
She produces a stiff nod. The kid has no scar tissue to protect her from adults arguing. Stephen was gone so much. He and I fought over email. All Annie has is whiplash from the day I told her, Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce. Let’s go pack your things because we’re leaving.
I draw my lips to Annie’s right ear. “Why don’t you go say hello to Alex.”
By the time I stood up, she bounded over to my vampire and I suspect she’s probably already smiling.
“Hey, kiddo,” he says and softly ruffles her hair.
Without a coat on, he never hugs her or picks her up probably out of fear she’ll figure out something isn’t right about him. Alex gets his feelings across with just a look.
“I’m going to read that second Amulet book,” she says proudly, swinging her arms. “My daddy bought it for me.”
“Let me know when you’re almost done, I’ll order you the third.” His deep hard voice suggests he is in no way free of distress.
I’m grateful for a few moments to compose myself. Even though I made a case to her that I’m allowed to yell and be angry, it’s not how I want to feel or act at the moment. I’m scared and I need the man in my life to tell me everything’s going to be okay. Even if that man isn’t human. Even if it’s a lie.
“I’m going to bed now.” Smiling, Annie skips away. No more tears, no more stress. Yeah Alex makes me feel better too, kid.
She gives me another hug and heads up the stairs. I step in that direction to watch her go. I have to see that she’s okay and no monster jumped out of the hall closet to haul her inside. While speaking to Annie, Alex stayed several feet away, now he’s upon me. It’s been a while since his ability to cross a room to get to me in a fraction of a second takes my breath away as it does now.
Still his touch feels tentative and I’m certain he has no plans to kiss me. The imminent release doesn’t happen, however, and he pulls me around. Soft cold lips are on my mouth. It’s just a tender kiss. He has the power to smash us both through the wall, but he touches me with the gentleness of a feather.
When he stops, he steps away and takes my hand. “Let’s go to your bedroom.”
We climb the stairs but I stop to check on Annie and can tell by her breathing, she’s fallen asleep. In my room, I sit on my bed while Alex takes a seat on the blue upholstered chair in the corner. That image of him makes me chuckle: a hard, strong vampire on a dainty tufted toiled patterned chair. Everything about this bedroom has become about him and me. He claimed it months ago when he snuck in here and watched me.
Alex says I’m his, but he’s just as much mine. “I brought this up when we started seeing each other and I think we both agreed at the time it was premature, but considering what’s happened—”
“You want to know where you stand with me.” He told me he loves me and I believe him, but is that enough? “I don’t know what to do. To stay and fight will put you in danger. To leave you alone and exposed makes me crazy.” His lip snarls and his hands clamp against his elbows, like he’d rather crack his own bones than something in my bedroom.
My legs go weak, connecting all the dots and for a moment, I’m heartbroken for Alex. Francisco communicated an order for him to mate with a female vampire, an order from the highest power in his world. Yet, here he is. Still in my house.
“I have a very good sense of where I stand with you today.”
He flinches. “Today, tomorrow. What’s the difference?”
“My God.” I approach him. “You’ve not thought this through at all, have you?”
“It’s all I’ve thought about, Elizabeth!” He pushes his hand through his hair and down his neck.
I exhale and go to my closet to retrieve from the top shelf a group of photo albums. From inside one, I grab a photograph from when I first met Stephen. I was in my early twenties.
“Here.” I shove the photo at Alex.
Reluctantly, he takes it. “And?”
I lift his wrist and hold the picture next to my face. “Do you see how much I changed in fifteen years?”
“Yes, actually.” He hands me back the photograph. “You’re so much more beautiful now.”
My eyes roll. “Alexander, I promise you the next fifteen years won’t be so kind to me.”
“Do you think I’m so shallow to base my love for you on your looks?”
“Maybe not. But what if I can’t walk anymore? Or feed myself. Or bathe myself. Or I become incontinent?”
“I will make sure you have the best of care, Elizabeth. I promise you.” His declaration leaves me breathless.
It’s here I realize, he has no intention of turning me into a vampire. Ever. Alexander would see all this through. Guide me to eternity. “Let’s not sugarcoat reality. I’m going to die. And you’ll still be here. Is it worth defying your allegiant?”
“What are you saying?” He obliterates the distance between us. “Leave you now?”
I press my lips closed. I should have considered more carefully where this line of questioning would go. I figured once he’s heard incontinence he’d back off but the man is a doctor. I want to slap myself on the head. But I don’t.
In an eerie tone, he says, “I can have someone create a new identity for all three of us. We can steal a car and be in Canada by tomorrow evening. Head to the most northern regions. The intense cold dulls the vampire scent.”
His suggestion leaves me aghast. “By three of us, you mean with Annie.”
“Of course. I’d never suggest you leave her behind. She’s as important to me as you are at this point.”
“As noble as that is, Alex, I wouldn’t do that to Stephen. If I were in that much danger, I would give her up to him. I wouldn’t drag her around and make her live like a fugitive.”
“Then I don’t know what to tell you.” He storms away from me, clenching his fists.
We stay quiet for a few more minutes. I have enough information to make a decision. “You should go to Philadelphia. I’ll be okay here.” I just hope that’s true.
“There’s no negotiating with Christiana on this.”
With an exhaustive exhale, I say, “To be with her, not negotiate with her.”
The growl that comes from deep within Alex’s chest is loud and scratchy, raw and rough. For the first time in months, I’m afraid of him.
“I will do a lot of damage to a lot of people. A lot of lives will be destroyed if I’m forced to mate like this.”
“I won’t hold you back from whatever you need to do. We’ve only known each other for two months. That’s hardly comparable to the decades you were with Francisco and the hundreds if not thousands of more ye
ars to come.”
“I know that, Elizabeth. I know I’m not tied to you in any way. I can walk away tomorrow, tonight. Only, I can’t.”
I’m breathless for a moment as I absorb his words. He loves me. Mating with Christiana won’t change that. His refusal to mate with her, however might get me and my daughter killed. I’m not disillusioned for a second to think that six-foot-five vampire won’t storm my house and drag us off.
“I think it’s obvious we have no choice. You have to go. Francisco seems very determined. Please remember no matter what, I can’t put my daughter in danger because of you. Because of us,” I quickly correct myself.
“The only bargain I could possibly strike with Christiana is to keep you.” Alex scrubs his hands over his face.
“Keep?” I ask, but I have a feeling any clarification will make me sick and angry.
“As my human lover, of course. Although if I’m mated, I’m afraid of what that will reduce you to.”
“Alexander Manning, I do not intend to be anyone’s . . .” Whore is too melodramatic. “I won’t be the other woman. For anyone.”
“This is for me to decide, Elizabeth.”
My breath escapes my lungs so swiftly, I must steady myself. “Actually, in this century, two people have to be in agreement to be in a relationship.”
“Not when you’re with a vampire.”
Chills shoot through me and I have to hold on to the nearest surface.
All along I thought my affair with Alex was at my discretion. I won’t get caught up in a war or at least one major vampire pissing contest with Francisco.
Francisco! The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
“Alex, I’m certainly no match for you. I have no idea where to find your commander, but I can start asking around about a six-foot-five gorgeous pale man who tawks like dees.” I can’t mimic a French accent much better than that. “I can tell him I want nothing more to do with you and I suspect he’ll send reinforcements to assist me.”
Drawing Bloodlines (The Princeton Allegiant Series Book 1) Page 16