“Elizabeth, you’re not in shape to drive two blocks.”
“I’ll stop for coffee.”
“Coffee isn’t going to help.” He leans into me but the school bus ambles into view from the opposite corner.
When I undo my seat belt, he stops me. “Wait. Let me talk to her. I should tell her I’m not going with you.” He has boundless strength, but he doesn’t realize a little girl frowning at him lost, sad and disappointed will feel like a stake in the heart.
“No. She’s my daughter. I’ll tell her.”
The bus stops and the door opens. Annie usually sits in the back. Every second feels like flames lick at my skin. Her little body pops out of the bus. Christ, she’s so happy.
Alex hisses. He sees it too. “I can’t do it.” After a second, he sits back. “I respect you too much to doubt you know what to say to her. I’ll screw it up.”
Swallowing the hot tears sliding down my throat, I open the car door. Without turning his way, I simply say, “Goodbye, Alex.”
Somehow, I marshal the strength to get out of the car. I flit to the bus and catch Annie before she gets to the house.
My Annie-bug. As if she knew I needed one, she hugs me.
“Have a Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kastner,” the new driver says, and I don’t correct her.
Especially in front of Annie. I think she forgets we don’t have the same last name anyway.
“Thank you. You too.” I wave my hand and keep the other on Annie.
Thinking I have to offer some big explanation why Alex is sitting in his car staring at us, I turn one last time and my breath escapes me.
He’s already gone.
Chapter 28
“What time will Alex be home?” Annie asks, full of excitement, when we get in the house.
Every word slashes my heart. He doesn’t keep a toothbrush here. She’s never seen him walking around in pajamas; I don’t even think he has any. We never had one of those commercial-perfect ‘read the Sunday New York Times in bed morning, where everyone jumps in and life is fucking perfect’ moment.
Yet, she thinks of this as Alex’s home as well. Maybe because I started to think of us in that way too. I’m pretty sure he did.
I can’t breathe. This will be harder than I thought. This is why single mothers don’t like to get involved. It’s bad enough to be in the throes of heartbreak, to wail and cry and shove my face into a trough of Ben and Jerry’s. Wallow and have everyone tell me what an ass he is. How much better off I am.
With a kid? Nope. I have to be the strong one. I can’t let her see me upset.
“Mommy?” she prods when I stall.
“Honey, I don’t know how to sugarcoat what I’m about to say.” I steel myself against the heartbreak and I allow a sliver of hope that even though I fell deep in love with that man, it’s only been two months. It takes longer for Annie to read some of her books. “But, Alex isn’t driving with us to DC.”
“Why?” Her face bends into a sulk. Hope smashed.
How in the world do I explain this to a seven-year-old? I lace her fingers in mine and sit on the couch with her. “Annie, before I met Alex, he was involved with another woman.”
She won’t comprehend the idea that he has to marry someone else against his wishes. If she were a teenager and read some Jane Austen, I may have a shot that she would understand Alex was promised to a woman from a far-off land.
“Who?” My daughter’s face scrunches up.
“A woman in Philadelphia. They were broken up for a while. Which was why he was in a relationship with me. But now, they are going to get married.”
“So, Alex won’t be here anymore?” Her voice cracks. It must be so hard to put these thoughts together at her age.
“That’s right, honey. I’m sorry. And he was very sad about it.”
Annie thinks about this. “Are you sad?”
It takes all my strength not to break at this moment. “Yes. He was a good man. But honey, not every man in my life will be my husband. It’s how I’ll find the right person. I have to kiss a lot of frogs before I find a prince.”
Her blinking eyes are magnified behind her glasses. I know she understands that. “Okay, Mommy.”
I release my breath. “And what do you say we get on the road tonight? Drive in the dark, just us on the highway. We can stop somewhere and eat junk food in the middle of the night.”
“Can I bring my iPad?” She just wants to read. God love her.
“Yes.” I pull her toward me and will myself not to break out into hysterics. “You can bring anything you want.”
Even though Annie has clothes in DC, I packed her a few pairs of jeans, sweaters, and pajamas because she had a recent growth spurt. Stephen is very good about what she wears. She’s a reflection on him and he always keeps her clean and well dressed.
In the bathroom, I’m appalled at myself. My hair is all out of its chignon. I rip the remaining pins out and let the waves fall over my shoulders. I’m tempted to keep it this way, but it’s too long, so I scoop it back up and neatly place it on top of my head.
Lulled into thinking I’m really not that hurt, I run the hot water and splash the warmth across my face. Even the slightest bit of pressure makes me wince. I’m healed on the outside, but my cheekbone throbs painfully.
After changing my clothes, I throw two days’ worth of fresh outfits in a duffel bag, since I have no idea what shape I’ll be in when we get there late tonight. I won’t have the energy to drop her off and turn right around on I-95. Alex planned to do so. Not having to sleep and blessed with endless strength, we could get in a car and drive straight to California or Alaska.
As I walk down the stairs, I shout, “Annie, are you ready to leave?”
While I wait for my daughter, who hasn’t answered me, I peek out my back door. It’s too dark to see if anyone hides in the trees. I’m certain something is out there. I jump when Annie comes up and tugs on my sweater.
With the car all packed up, we head for the Turnpike. At the last rest stop before the bridge, I gas up and break my ‘no fast food’ rule since we left in a hurry and didn’t have dinner. Before we get back on the road, I grab a coffee. Alex was right, this won’t help me. By the time we make it to Delaware, I can’t keep my eyes open. I have to stop. Annie finds hotel options for us using my phone and I choose one that is on the main highway and well lit.
Inside, the clerk’s smile is way too wide given how late it is. “Can I help you?”
I nod softly. “I just need a room for the night. We’re on our way to DC and I just can’t stay awake.” The more I explain, the less questions I’ll get.
His brows cinch together. “Driver’s license?”
From my purse, I hand it to him and he begins to enter my information. “Mrs. Lockspier, are you a rewards member?”
“Ms. And no.”
Like he’s been given shock therapy and trained to react when a customer tells him that, he reaches for a pamphlet. “Well if you want to fill this out quickly, I can—”
I lower my head at him. Come on, man, it’s late. “I don’t need any points. Just a bed. Two, if you have it.”
I tug Annie closer to me. Her eyes are half closed and she’ll pass out the minute we get in the room.
He hands my license back to me. “Are you all right, ma’am?”
“Yes, of course. I just need a place to sleep.”
Still eyeing me cautiously, he makes two card keys. I give one to Annie whose face lights up from being able to hold it.
“Room 210. The elevator is to your left. You can park your car in the lot outside to the right.”
I stuff everything he gives me and my license back in my bag. “Thank you. Goodnight. We’ll be out of here first thing.”
“We serve c
offee and breakfast starting at six a.m.”
I turn to him and offer a smile. “Bless you.”
The room is clean and there are two beds. Although, I have a feeling Annie won’t want to sleep alone, and I’m not sure I want her to. That thought makes me break down for a moment and I turn away.
“Mommy, are you crying?”
“No,” I say softly. After wiping a loose tear, I face her and smile. “I’m still a little hungry though. Want to see what’s in the vending machine?”
I hate that I peek down the hallway before I let Annie out there. The idea that I might have to look over my shoulder my whole life sickens me. I quickly dismiss that, though. Alex agreed to join Christiana in Philadelphia. If for no other reason to avoid a repeat of the shit-show from this afternoon.
I buy two bags of chips and Annie picks her favorite chewy candy. To wash it all down, I buy a bottle of coke. Even with the salty snacks and sugar from the soda, Annie and I fall asleep quickly.
~ ~ ~
I am tempted to burn this cottage down.
If I was moving in with Elizabeth, I would have barrels of energy to pack everything and stuff them into boxes. To share my life with her and combine our worlds is what I desire. In Philadelphia, I’ll be nothing but a prisoner. A token male. A mate of convenience.
While I rummage for a lighter, a knock on my door freezes me in place. Without checking for the scent, I rush that way hoping it’s Elizabeth. I spring and wrench the door open, but am quickly swamped with dread.
“You’re going to have to fake excitement for me a lot better than that, Alexander,” Christiana says.
“I’ll need much more practice.” I turn away and let her in. Makes no sense to keep her out at this point. “What are you doing back here?”
“My people are squared away.” Christiana wrinkles her nose. “That human’s scent is all over this place, Alexander. Foul creatures. You’re not bringing any of this trash to my penthouse apartment.”
“As you wish.” I throw the lighter back in the drawer. Now I want everything with me. If for no reason but to remind this bitch what she dragged me from.
“Alex, we should talk.”
Stifling all my anger and rage, I groan as I move into my bedroom. “Talk.”
There, she brings her arms down in front of her and into a girlish finger locking. “Alexander, I’m sorry about this afternoon.”
“Really.” I move toward her. “What part?”
“Hurting the human, of course.”
“Hurt? You bitch-slapped her to a pulp.” I shake my head. “And you were ready to let those animals drain her.”
“I wasn’t going to let them kill her.” Christiana steps away sensing my rage. There’s still the lingering suspicion about the powers I might have. Perhaps she came back to bait me further. Or get me to confess. “Feeding is a priority. Given certain circumstances, using humans is permitted.” She steps closer and wears her version of a smile. “Alex, you’re going to be my mate. I want us to be friends as well as lovers.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“I was quite touched to see how you protected that human.” She unbuttons her blouse and removes her skirt. With only a push-up bra and thong, she has the pristine body of a goddamn runway model. “I need protection too, Alexander.”
“Not from what I see.”
“I smell a lot of sex in this house. Why don’t you come here and fuck me on your bed? You’ll smell your human the whole time. If you close your eyes.” She removes the bra and the thong. Sitting on my bed with her legs spread, she’s a goddess by human standards.
When I don’t say anything, she caresses herself. “Come on, Alex, fuck me. There were moments of tenderness between us. You did enjoy yourself.” She cautiously reaches out to touch me.
Her hand rests on my chest briefly and slides down. Our eyes lock and her cheek ticks up with surprise that I don’t swat her away. She licks her lips as her hand passes my belt. She hesitates for a moment.
“Keep going,” I say gruffly.
“Oh, Alex, I knew—” When her hand reaches my groin, her eyes grow wide. She expected me to be rock hard.
I’m not. Not even close.
She jerks her hand away and stands up, abruptly shoving me out of the way. “I can make life very difficult for you in Philadelphia. You get all the blood you need because you’re a doctor. Let’s see how you do without your license.”
“You’ll starve me, weaken me, your second-in-command, just so I’ll have sex with you? Christiana, do you hear yourself?” When she ignores me and gets dressed, I ask, “What are you really after? You’re fucking Zander. He looks quite capable of keeping you satisfied the way you like.”
Her eyes narrow. “Yes, he satisfies me all right. Better than you ever have. If you must know.”
I step back, amazed she confessed so easily. “So why don’t you just mate with him? I bet he’d make an excellent second-in-command.”
“Zander is a bastard,” Christiana chokes out with a rare show of emotion.
It’s something I should have picked up on. The most ruthless, undisciplined vampires are usually bastards, those who are made and then abandoned. Without a sire around to guide a newly turned vampire, the results are usually disastrous. Most go rogue. As the Philadelphia Commander, Christiana can never mate with Zander.
“I would have expected you to be rebellious and tell New York to go fuck themselves. Mate with whoever you want.”
“I’ll convince New York. Eventually.” Her smile curls, sending a pit of fear into my gut. “Once I have you in my clutches, Loren will do my bidding in exchange for your comfort. I never saw Loren in action, but enough people fear him so I can only imagine how powerful he is.”
Dread pours over me like hot lava. Christiana has targeted me because of Loren. “You want to start a war against New York? You’re fucking insane.” I pace the floor, more worried than ever. I don’t hold out much hope that my comfort, as she put it, is enough for my sire to bend the knee to Christiana. She better not expect me to convince him either. I won’t be a pawn in her game.
Pawn . . .
Humans are not to be used as pawns . . .
Humans . . .
Armand . . .
Lost in my thoughts, Christiana comes up behind me. “That little bitch of yours better not get in the way of Loren coming to my side, either. I’ll use the child if I have to.”
It happens so fast, I can’t control myself if I wanted to. My rage lifts Christiana off the ground. She’s hurled into the air and slams against the wall. Dust from the sheetrock settles on top of her perfect ebony hair.
She shakes her head and bares her teeth. “You do possess the powers he has!”
“Some,” I snarl at her.
“Put me down, Alexander.” She struggles to move. “That’s an order. I am your commander!”
“Not yet.” I’m not quite sure how I’m holding her, but she feels securely pinned against the wall.
This must be deep within me, my desire to crush her. What else can I do? Once I release her, she’ll kick my ass. We’re all strong, but she has fought in battles. I can’t keep her restrained like this. Zander will track her down. I already feel tired, whatever I’m doing to hold her will slip away soon. I have to get out of here.
But how?
My earlier thought flashes in my brain: burn this place down. I rush into the kitchen while Christiana’s shrieks follow me. This is a crazy plan and one that can get me killed. I take out the lighter and step into the living room, wielding my current weapon of choice.
“Alexander!” Christiana’s choking scream tells me she’s still restrained. “What are you doing, have you gone mad?”
“Apparently.” There’s no time to think, so I light
the drapes.
After the first one catches, I pull everything I can out of my pockets and throw them to the floor, except my phone.
“You will pay for this.” She wrenches her body against my hold.
“Goodbye, Christiana.” With the front door open, I cast one last glance.
All my books will be gone, but I replaced them once, I can do it again. My laptops are backed up. Yes, I’m quite mad indeed. Christiana won’t die, though. She’ll escape the flames. I just need a head start. I slam the front door shut, while she screams at me.
All the drapes are up in flames now. Reaching deep into my mind, I let go of the mental strap that holds Christiana while I leap over the house and land in the woods. I close my eyes and push the limits of how fast I can move.
When I open them again, I’m at the gate to Armand’s research center.
~ ~ ~
In the morning, the hotel serves fresh-brewed coffee and warm muffins.
Annie and I pack a few extra in a to-go bag and get back on the road.
It was a conscious decision not to call Stephen ahead of time that I planned to arrive early, which means he’s still at work. I don’t want him to worry plus it will put him on his guard. Give him several hours to figure out what I possibly did wrong, and plan his counterattack. But my unscheduled visit to the Pentagon, however, causes an uproar at the front gate.
“Ma’am, I don’t have you on the visitor list,” a tall, uniformed man says.
“I know. I got into town a little early. Captain Stephen Kastner is my daughter’s father. Can you please just call him?”
The guard huffs and waves me over to a waiting area. The place is spectacularly protected with soldiers standing in front of the booths with high-powered weapons, and a few more at the building’s entrance. Annie will be safe with Stephen. Even a goon like Zander isn’t stupid enough to come here. A knock on my window startles me.
“Okay, ma’am.” He hands me two passes. “Park in Section 23 and show these to the receptionist.”
Drawing Bloodlines (The Princeton Allegiant Series Book 1) Page 24