by Emma Tharp
Since she opened up to me, I wanted to share my ski accident with her. I could see in her eyes that she was affected by the thought of losing me. If nothing else, I hope it was a reminder to her—like it was for me—that we need to live life to the fullest.
I bring her inside and press my lips to hers. The kiss is intense and passionate, but I can tell she’s a little too buzzed and tired for much more.
She's half asleep in my arms as we lie in bed. I'm going to ask. And I'm not entirely sure she knows what she'll be agreeing to, but I have to take the chance. “There's an amusement park here. It's not Disney, but it still has roller coasters and overpriced food and a water park. We don't have kids to monitor and we can eat ice cream and soft pretzels. We can stay all night and close down the park. And they have fireworks, too, I looked it up since it’s so close to the Fourth of July.” And I want to experience all that with her.
Her eyes are closed and it sounds like she says “sure,” but it could’ve been a yawn.
Good enough for me.
When the sun comes up, I ease out of bed without waking her. It feels good to be up this early—like I normally am. I’ve been in full vacation mode this week and have been sleeping in later than usual. I’ve been going with the flow.
Giselle’s features are soft and relaxed as she lies there in dreamland. The sheet is only covering her from the waist down. She's naked and her skin is glowing with a tan she's earned from the last few days in the sun. My blood stirs, but instead of waking her, I'm going to make sure we have a hearty breakfast this morning.
In the kitchen, I start the coffee pot and open the refrigerator to get the ingredients for eggs Benedict. I remember how much she loved them when we were in Beverly Hills. The moan she made when she put the first bite in her mouth—like she was actually having an orgasm—is something I'll never forget. I'll make them for her now. How hard can it be?
I picked up a packet for hollandaise sauce when we were getting groceries and she had smiled. Never once did she question my plans for it. Now she'll know.
The shower is running upstairs. By the time it shuts off, I’ve done my best to replicate her dream breakfast, right down to the potatoes I grated for hash browns that I cooked in the skillet.
Even though I made coffee for me, I meet her in the bathroom with a mug of hot chocolate. That’s what she ordered at the restaurant in Beverly Hills.
"No coffee?" she asks, eyeing me with a furrowed brow. The bathroom smells so damn good, like lavender and her.
I shake my head and it’s nearly impossible to keep the ear to ear grin off my face. "Throw on a robe and check it out." Even though it pains me not to grab her and ravage her naked body, I don't want the eggs to get cold. There will be time for that later.
She wanders into the kitchen in her bathrobe minutes later, tentatively, like she's not sure what to expect.
"Come have breakfast with me." I take her hand and lead her out onto the deck overlooking the lake. I pull her chair out for her.
She takes one look at her plate and squeals in delight, making it all worth it. "You made this?" She glances back toward the kitchen like she's doubting me. She can see the mess I left on the counter and the pans strewn about. She wraps her arms around me and I lift her up so her feet come off the ground. “The absolute best," she whispers into my ear.
Goose bumps erupt over my skin. "Thank you. I hope you like it."
She plants a long deep kiss on my lips and that's thanks enough.
We take our seats and I watch her as she cuts into the egg and takes her first bite. She closes her eyes and moans like she did back in Beverly Hills. I give myself an internal high-five. "This is so good."
I feel like I can finally breathe. I was so worried that I messed something up. Now, I take my first bite. "It is good. This was my first time making it."
"The cocoa and eggs Benedict, exactly like our trip in Beverly Hills." Her eyes are sparkling like she still can't get over the fact that I remember everything.
I shrug. "I told you I don't forget things when it comes to you. But the real question is, do you remember agreeing to something last night?"
She takes a long sip of her cocoa and sets the mug in front of her. She plays with the handle, running her finger along the smooth surface. "I faintly remember something about an amusement park."
"I'm glad you remembered. We're going to eat all the junk food, ride all the roller coasters, and play in the waterpark."
She bounces up out of her chair and sits in my lap. Her whole face is glowing. "I can't wait." She looks out over the lake and doesn't say anything, her face becoming serious. "I can't believe it's almost half over."
I shake my head. I can't even stand the thought. My eggs Benedict turns in my stomach. "Don't think like that. It doesn't have to be." I gently kiss her temple, aware I've said too much.
Eleven
Giselle
I bite at the corner of my lip and shake my head. I have no idea what he's thinking. My heart begins to race at his words, and I struggle for what to say in response. "I can only really take off one week a year right now. I use my other days throughout the year for other commitments and those are mostly long weekends." I’m trying to make him understand this is it, the most he can expect from me. There's no second week of vacation that I can give him, even though it would be wonderful to see him more often.
He has that look on his face he gets sometimes. It's impossible for me to read. His lips are pressed tightly together and he's rubbing at his eyelid. I don't think he's upset with me, but beyond that, I can't tell what's going through his mind. "I want us to have fun today. Let’s focus on the here and now. We can pack our bags and our swimsuits and get going."
It’s like I can drop the boulder he sat on my shoulders. I’m not sure if he’ll bring it up again, but I hope not.
We load into my car and drive to the amusement park. During the ride, we hold hands and I'm relieved that he doesn't seem disappointed or upset about my admission. Once we arrive, we park the car and make our way inside.
My pulse ramps up as we stand in line for the first roller coaster. "I haven't been on one of these since I was a kid."
He pulls me in close and whispers in my ear, "Are you nervous?"
My heart is banging against my rib cage; I wonder if he can feel it as he hugs me. "Not scared or nervous. Completely excited is more accurate."
"I'm with you the whole time. Squeeze my hand if you have to."
I look up into those teal eyes and feel nothing but comfort and safety. "Thank you."
We spend the entire day having pure, unadulterated fun. We eat burgers and fries, cotton candy, and fried dough. We nap in shaded loungers at the waterpark and then play hard for the rest of the day. We ride every ride and close down the park. I love being playful with Dean. My getaways with him are the only time in my life when I get to let go like this. My heart warms and feels so full.
Before the fireworks start, we find a spot on the grass and have a seat on our towels. There are people all around, crammed together on the hill. Kids on parents’ shoulders, families, couples. It seems like the entire park gathered here for the light show.
"Come here," Dean says, pointing to the spot between his legs.
I grin as I scoot over and sit with my back to his chest. Dean's arms come around my waist and I lean my head back against his shoulder as the fireworks began.
"They’re beautiful," I say, taking in the magical moment. They’re loud and bright and come one after another. Some shoot straight into the sky and rain down in silver sparkles, while others jet up and fall down in colorful, twinkling spirals. Everyone in the crowd is oohing and ahhing.
"Did you have fun today?" he asks next to my ear. The feel of his breath on my skin gives me a little shiver.
"Absolutely. Especially on the roller coasters. Even though you laughed at me when I screamed and nearly cut off the circulation in your hand."
He chuckles and the sound vibrates through hi
s chest. "Good. I had the best day with you."
“I did, too.” Dean and I always have fun together, tempered with the perfect amount of romance. A pulse begins low in my belly and I feel incredibly lusty. I’m seriously in like with Dean. I can't get enough of him. Only, when I think about the rest of the year, I know this is all we have. He would never fit into my world and I can't imagine being happy in his. Dean wouldn't enjoy stuffy corporate dinners or the long hours I work. And I am not an outdoorsy person like he is. We're just too different, and I know we’re only meant to have moments and make them enough.
We enjoy the rest of the fireworks and after the grand finale, we make our way back to the lake house.
"Swim under the stars?” I ask as we pull into the driveway.
He shakes his head like he’s surprised I'm rallying. "You still have energy for that?"
We both know I was half asleep in his arms during the fireworks, but I need more of him. "Of course. I'll always have energy to spend with you." I urge him to follow me.
We strip down on the dock, under the stars. Dean’s body, all tan and corded muscle, is something I’ll never tire of looking at. It’s perfect. He jumps in first, water splashing all over me before I follow him in.
"Skinny-dipping with you is my favorite," I joke as I swim into his arms and kiss him slow and deep, showing him how turned on I’ve been all evening.
"Followed by sex?" He raises his eyebrows and kisses my neck right where I like it. My body aches for him to touch me, and to be inside me.
I tilt my head to grant him better access and let out a heavy breath. “Always.”
He slides his tongue in my mouth. He tastes sweet, like the cinnamon taffy we brought home from the amusement park.
The water is shallow enough that he can stand. I wrap my legs around his waist.
His big hands glide down my ribs to my hips, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
I don’t think I can wait another second. My stomach tightens seconds before I sink down onto his length. We both moan and it's the only sound besides our bodies splashing the water as they come together.
The calm water and tranquil surroundings ramp up the romance. I’m always hot for Dean. I wonder if I’ll ever tire of him. Probably not—especially when we only see each other seven days a year.
His mouth moves from my neck to my collarbone and down my chest, raining kisses on my skin. He drops his mouth to my nipple and sucks it hard. The combination of the cool water and his warm mouth has me panting.
I can't help but dig my nails into his shoulders as I bounce up and down his length.
"Have you ever had sex with anyone in Lake George before?" Dean asks, his voice hoarse, like he's barely holding on.
"No." Thinking back, I haven't had sex in a lake ever. "Not this one or any other body of water."
A low growl escapes his lips. "Good. I like giving you your firsts."
There’s no point in asking him if he has, because in this moment, I truly don't care.
I can tell he's getting close when his fingertips bite into my ass as he thrusts inside me. I'm close, too. Arching my back, I wind my hands around his neck, holding on for dear life.
He grinds his teeth before he calls out my name and explodes inside me. I'm right behind him, pulsing around him as my body spasms with its own orgasm.
I shove my face in his neck and he squeezes me close. My body is spent and I feel like I just got off one of the roller coasters. "Take me inside and put me to bed."
"Your wish is my command," Dean says as he carries me out of the water and back into the house.
Twelve
Dean
"Tomorrow is the Fourth of July," I remind her as we climb into bed. "Do we have any special plans?" I'm surprised either of us can move. We managed to get more sun than we thought and between the light burn and loads of walking and standing, I'm exhausted. But I'm still curious what we're doing tomorrow. In an effort to never disappoint her, I want to be ready. She makes me want to be a better man.
It was so fun to see Giselle's adventurous side today at the amusement park. She was playful and carefree. She held my hand around the park, leading me from ride to ride. When she ordered cotton candy and put the first bite in her mouth, it was like I could see the younger version of Giselle. One I wish I’d known. I wonder if we had met in high school if she would’ve given me the time of day. I bet she was a bookworm who didn’t really date. Or maybe she was wild back then and got it all out of her system before college. I’m curious if we had dated when we were in our twenties if I could’ve somehow balanced her out more. She’s all work and no play. Which I can’t believe she’s going to be able to sustain long-term. Granted, I could be a little more work and less play, too. If we were together every day, I bet we would even each other out. It’d benefit both of us.
The fun we had today made it easy not to think about breakfast this morning when I mentioned that we could see each other more than once a year and she turned me down. I decide not to let that get to me because I still have the rest of the week to work on her.
"Yes, let's go to the races. I love them. The horses. The excitement." Her dark eyes sparkle as she talks about it.
"The money, the people and their stuffy outfits, the smell of horses." I shake my head. I’ve never had an interest in spending a day at the races.
"Have you ever been to a race?" Her eyes are half-lidded with fatigue, but she still manages to give me the side-eye.
"No, but if it makes you happy, we’ll go." I’ll give anything a chance for her. It’s like today when I talked her into going on the tallest, fastest roller coaster at the park. She was apprehensive at first, but she went for it. We’re good at pushing each other out of our comfort zones.
Her face is actually glowing. It completely lights up. "Good. We'll leave early. Make a day of it."
"How early should we get there?"
"Eight o'clock, maybe."
"Okay. Snuggle in. We need to rest.” I turn off the light and position myself for her to get comfortable.
Giselle rolls over and backs up against me so we’re spooning. Seconds later, her breathing evens out and I think she's asleep.
How can she do that? Pass out so quickly? I range between not being able to calm down with her near and being so relaxed I can barely wake up in the morning. This woman has me in knots. It has to be love. I doubted it before we were together this trip. But the longer we're together, the more convinced I’ve become that there's something real between us, at least for me.
I pull her in closer and she inhales deeply. I wonder if I've woken her. "What if I come visit you before ski season?” I whisper. "I can come to the city and stay with you."
Every muscle in her body stiffens. Definitely awake. "We'll see," she murmurs.
I’m not ready to give up. "Or you could come to Vermont and stay with me. For a long weekend. There must be some holiday in there that you get either a Friday or Monday off," I say quietly next to her ear.
She shivers and I wonder what it means. "We can talk about it."
"Tomorrow?" I push, because the clock is ticking. "Can we talk tomorrow?"
She rolls over and stares at me. It's dark in the room, but I feel her eyes studying my face. "Why are you bringing this up after midnight while we’re trying to sleep? We need to be up early."
I sigh because I know my timing is off. "You're right. Sorry." I kiss her forehead, knowing she's in no mood for me to press my lips to hers like I want. "We'll talk later. When you're ready." There it is. Another lie. If she had her way, we’d never discuss it. I can't wait that long.
Thirteen
Giselle
Thanks to Dean, my mind is racing and I can’t fall asleep. Something is different about the way he’s holding me and touching me; it’s tighter somehow—like he’s afraid I’m going to slip through his fingers. My stomach clenches because it feels like it's coming to an end and I'm not happy.
This was supposed to be our week, th
e perfect summer vacation to hold us over until the following year. And he's ruining it. I don’t understand why he can't be happy with the time we have together. He has been every other year that we’ve done this. I thought we had an understanding and now I'm questioning all of it.
I focus on keeping my breathing long and steady. If he knows I'm awake, he'll only try and initiate another conversation I'm not ready for. When he finally falls asleep, I ease out of bed and wander out to the living room. I slip on my robe and make my way to the dock. Letting my feet dangle in the water, I try to picture the future. I can’t see mine with him. I have no idea where he fits in. I mean… I don’t think he does.
It's impossible to picture him getting dressed up a few times a month in a stuffy suit and tie and sitting through dinners with my partners and their spouses. They're good people, but the youngest is twenty years older than us. The conversation is usually dry and mainly has to do with law. It’d be too much to ask of Dean. Would he be able to rise to the occasion? I simply don’t know. And now that I am a partner, there's no way I can move out of the city. And why should he leave Vermont and his home? It's all too overwhelming.
When I try to conjure a picture of his reaction when I tell him that this is all we can ever be, it isn’t good. And I pray he can hold it together a few more days, but I can sense that that isn't happening. He's too…tense. And he's persistent about an answer.
We’ve never had a fight. There hasn’t been a reason for it. And I don’t want to start now. I deal with too much confrontation in my line of work. My relationship with Dean is supposed to be easy, but I feel the claws of conflict digging their way in and it makes me sick.
Lying down on the dock, I stare up at the stars and do my best to focus on my breathing. Eventually, I allow my eyes to close. When I wake, my back is painfully stiff and I can barely move my neck, which isn’t exactly how I like to start my day. I'm going to need to schedule an appointment with my chiropractor as soon as I get back to the city.